She erases the med-droid memory as soon as she hears the results. Some part of her must be rushing in panic, but right now her mind is numb.
How did this happen?
Well, she did know how. Just the memory of all those nights spent in the arms of the enemy as he held her gently while he whispered sweet, forbidden things, made her blush.
How could she have been so careless?
She should have gone to the medbay right after that first night they spent together. Her knowledge of sex had been rather… limited. But she knew what could have happened, what was happening now. She has thought they were safe, since he technically hadn't been really there. She had trusted the force, and omnipotent thing it was; it had done what she saw fit to do.
Now that she knew it, many things started to make sense. She had missed her monthly courses, but had ignored it, for she had never been regular. Nothing had seemed to stay in her stomach for long during the morning, she had thought it was some virus, or that her body never got used to receiving food so often. Her breast had been sore.
The reality was simpler.
She was pregnant.
Eleven weeks pregnant in the middle of a war. She paled, recalling that near death encounter she had two weeks ago during a battle. She could have lost her and her child's life there. And he would have never known.
''Rey?'' It was Rose's worried voice that took her back. She had insisted on waiting for Rey outside the room.
''Coming!'' She jumped of the table, still in shock.
Later, she tried to meditate as she sat on her bunk. Being the last Jedi came with a few privileges, she had private quarters, while most of the shared room with their fellow Resistance members. She had never cared much for them, but with the forcebond connecting them at any time and the recent evolution of their relationship, Rey had started to appreciate the privacy the small place provided.
She just could not focus enough, her mind swirling with the recent news. What would she do about it? If she kept it, what would she tell her friends? Rey simply couldn't hide the pregnancy for much longer with her slight frame, the bump would soon give her away. And the General, stars, what would the General think? Rey had a feeling that Leia would know, once the child had grown it would be difficult to ignore her son's distinctive features on them.
She would not give her away, Rey trusted, she may be disappointed on her, but she would never rat her out on it. And her friends… Maybe she could simply tell them that the father wasn't in the picture
Rey took a deep breath, frowning as she closed her eyes.
She could feel de beginning of a headache forming behind her eyelids.
Kylo Ren to the galaxy, Ben to her. Public enemy of the Resistance, leader of the First Order. Hers in their secret nights together.
A pang of fear went through her spine, before an unwanted feeling invaded her. It had been at least two years since she had last dreaded a forcebond connection, usually she would wait eagerly on the night for their time together. But not this time.
What if he tried to take their child away? To shape them into the next leader of the Order. To do what Vader had tried to do with Luke all those years ago.
She shook her head, trying to keep those thoughts away, it was the dark talking to her. Two years ago she would have truly thought something like that. But then again, she wouldn't have been having a baby with him back on then.
Ben was no Vader.
She was going to tell him and together they would come to a solution.
Every treat became lesser when they fought it together, and this was no battle in Snoke's Supremacy. It was probably more difficult than that, she thought. But still, they would face it together.
Amongst so many uncertainties, she was sure of that.
The force buzzed around her, as if summoned, she could feel their connection appear. The energy vibrated and she felt him appear, so powerful and strong.
Suddenly, strong, muscled, arms wrapped around her. Light kisses were placed in her neck, a warm breath huffed. She shivered pleasantly, melting in his embrace. She had missed him dearly, having gone to long without seeing him.
When he was there with her, holding her as if his life depended on it, Rey could forget about everything. A lifetime in Jakku had left her wanting more than just companionship, she wanted to be loved. In that moment, Rey had no doubt she was.
She tried to be calm about it, shielding her thoughts from him was not the difficult thing, the problem would be if he felt those walls raising. Not so long ago they had agreed not to keep things from one another, be good or bad, and she didn't want to break that trust they had.
Apparently, her tactic wasn't working, for he stopped his ministrations, as if sensing that something was wrong. He turned her so they would be eye to eye.
She wondered how many people had seen Ben Solo's eyes like that, so soft and full of tenderness. So full of love. His fingers caressed her cheek lightly.
''You are projecting,'', he lets her know, giving her one of his rare smiles.
Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. That smile wouldn't last for long.
She knew him, she was aware of his feelings for her and still, she feared.
''Did something happen?''
Of course he'd notice, it wasn't common for her to be so silent.
She swallowed hard, ready to deliver the news.
''Ben, we need to talk''