Chapter One

"Who in the world am I?"

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

"Father … please …" the young boy choked through pained sobs, trying to shield his tiny body.

"Notts do not weep, Theodore," growled the domineering figure of Thoros Nott, his face cast in shadow, looking as if he was thirsting for blood.

Theodore flinched, as the pain fell upon him once more, burning its way from his ribs to his chest. "Father, it hurts." he wailed.

"You will take your punishment like a man!" Thoros barked, backhanding his son across the face -leaving angry red skin behind..

"I won't do it again, Father! I promise! Father —" he bit back a strangled cry, knowing that if he screamed the pain would only double.

"What did I tell you about those filthy Muggles, Theodore?" The former Death Eater said, eyes glinting in malice at the sight of his young son crouched in the corner of his study.

"They're dirt, nothing more than rubble under my feet. I'm sorry, Father! Please!"

The agony ceased suddenly, allowing the child to gasp for badly needed air.

"It seems as if your lessons aren't reaching you well enough, Theodore." The man hissed, pulling him up by his dark curls, "This is the last time I catch you running around with that Muggle wench."

"Father! No! Don't hurt her!" Theodore screamed as his father moved back. His cries transformed into strangled silence as he was once again hit with a wave of pain. He struggled towards the door in vain, grabbing at his father's robes as he disappeared behind it as it closed with a loud thud.

He lay in bed later that night, having fallen into a fitful sleep, waking up each time he twisted his body the wrong way. It was the sixth time he was woken up by the pain when he realized, with bleary eyes, that his room was bathed in an orange glow.

He stood quickly, hissing in pain at the abrupt movement, but forcing himself up anyway, he swept aside his sketchbook – he had been drawing before nodding off to bed, unable to sleep immediately. . His father would not be happy if he had overslept again. Just as he was about to reach his closet to change, a piercing scream shattered the silence of the night, jarring him wide awake.

Theodore rushed to his window, ignoring the pain that shot up his leg as he did so and he looked out with eyes widened in horror as the house next door was engulfed in flames, the fire stopping mere inches before his own windowsill, yet his own house remained untouched.

Another sharp cry broke out and Theodore tore himself away from the hot glass as the telltale lights and sirens of a muggle fire truck appeared below. He pulled the sheets over his head, trying in vain to silence the sounds of his friend crying for help. The boy willed himself to forget the sinister image of a man cloaked in dark robes standing in front of the burning building with a malevolent grin on his face.

"I expect nothing but the best from you, Theodore." his father glowered from the doorway, stern features folded into a mask of indifference. "I pray you do not disappoint me."

"Yes, father." Theodore said stiffly, clutching his satchel tightly against him.

"Mopsy!" Thorus barked, eyes not leaving his son's thin reedy form.

"Master calls, sir?" the tiny house elf spoke cautiously after popping into existence.

"Take Theodore to the station. When you're done with that, bring me a drink in my study."

Theodore knew his father well enough to know that "a drink" did not mean a cup of tea and was exceedingly relieved that he would not be home for the night of chaos to follow it.

He held onto the house elf's thin hand, eyes never leaving his father's retreating figure. "Let's go, Mopsy." he said flatly, itching to get away.

The elf gazed at him with adoring eyes and nodded obediently before pulling him into apparation. The odd pair appeared in the middle of a busy train station, hustle and bustle surrounding them as parents hurried to bid their children goodbye.

"Oomph!" Theo huffed, as he was unceremoniously shoved by a passerby.

"Oh, sorry there, mate." A squirrely voice said apologetically. It came from a rather tall looking red headed boy already donning a pair of slightly scuffed school robes - a Weasley by the look of him - who was looking down in surprise. Theo muttered that it was fine under his breath and stepped aside to allow passage.

"Master Theodore promises to be a good boy, yes?" squeaked the house elf still standing next to him. Mopsy had climbed onto his trunk to be able to look directly at him.

"I promise, Mops." he said, allowing a small smile to appear on his face. "I'll be back before you know it. Remember what I told you about healing yourself, yeah? It's never your fault, no matter what father says. Don't punish yourself. I forbid it."

The house elf nodded jerkily, to Theodore's relief, it had taken him ages to warm the tiny creature to the idea of healing himself after his father's rages. Now that he was out of the house, the main recipient would most likely be Mopsy.

"Is Little Master needing Mopsy to help bring his trunk inside?" he squeaked.

"No, Mops, I can do that. You go on ahead." The elf nodded and popped out of view.

Taking his trunk by the handle, Theodore smiled knowingly to himself, wondering when exactly his house elf had cast a Featherlight Charm on his luggage. He flipped the collar of his robes up, wary of attention, and cautious not to meet the eyes of anyone he knew - most notably Draco Malfoy, who had grown into a horrid child, albeit one that Theodore's father would not complain to having.

Neither did he wish to see Crabbe, Goyle, or Parkinson. The little group of snakes tested his patience greatly. Had his nose not been shoved into a book, he would have offed himself many play dates ago.

Theodore found himself an empty compartment, stored his trunk, and cracked open his sketchbook and charcoal pencils he had brought along for the journey, the blank page was quickly filled with swirls of black and white, vivid images appearing at a swipe of his hand.

Too enraptured by what he was doing, he did not notice the door to the compartment slide open, nor did he notice the soft cough that followed. Finally, his attention was stolen when a small hand tapped the middle of the page he was drawing in. He slammed the book closed quickly, hiding it with a blue leather novel he had brought in case he didn't feel like drawing.

His head shot up in surprise and he found himself face to face with a girl with bushy brown curls and dark eyes. She smiled at him warily.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes." she said apologetically. "The last thing I wanted to do was disturb you, I promise you, but would you mind terribly if I took a seat?"

Theodore nodded briskly and watched as she pushed her trunk, with a bit of struggle, into the compartment and sat daintily across from him.

"My name's Hermione, what's yours?" she said brightly, taking out a book of her own and setting it on her lap. It was one of their textbooks, he realized.

"Theodore." he said stiffly.

"What are you reading, Theodore?" she asked curiously, ignoring the fact that he had his his sketchbook from view immediately, and focused instead on the novel clutched tightly in his hands.

Immediately his cheeks flushed at her inquisition. "Er, it's called Alice in Wonderland I don't know if you've read it, it's a mug-"

"Oh! I love that book! My mother used to read it to me when I was younger." she gushed brightly. "I wish I could read something like that, but I've got so much to study! I never knew magic existed until a few months ago, you see, so I have to catch up-"

"You're muggleborn?" he asked, his voice trembling a bit

"Yes!" she said, "Are your parents magical?"

He nodded stiffly.

"Oh, you're lucky, then. I've been reading non-stop trying to acquaint myself with the magical world, there's so much to know and -"

"Er, I'm sorry, is it alright if I go back to my reading?" he said, wincing at how impolite he sounded.

"Oh, of course," she said, looking abashed, "I'm sorry for disturbing you, Theodore."

He knew it was for the best that he never spoke to her again, that it was for both their own good that he just stuck his nose into his book and never glance her way. But he couldn't shove down the thought that had entered his mind as he watched her open her own book out of the corner of his eye.

He had never heard his name said so softly in his life.

"Theodore?" her voice broke the silence after a few bourse once again. He raised his head warily, meeting warm brown eyes once again. He wondered if a charcoal pencil would to them justice.

"Neville's lost his toad." she said, motioning to the squat boy who had at some point appeared at the entrance of their compartment. "I'm going to help him find it, I'll be back later. Sorry for disturbing you again."

He nodded once before going back to his book, looking up only once to watch her retreating form walk down the train.

"Hey, mate, is anyone sitting here?"

Theodore cursed himself for once again not noticing that someone had invaded his space. He looked up to find a dark-skinned boy with bright green eyes watching him expectantly.

"Erm, yeah, but she left some time ago." he said.

"Can I sit until she comes back?" the boy said, "Can't ruddy stand the people in the compartment I was in."

Theodore nodded, waving at the vacant seat in front of him.

"Thanks, mate. The name's Blaise, by the way, Blaise Zabini." the smirk accompanying this statement suggested he boy thought his name was something to be proud of, which it probably was, since Theodore himself had heard the name Zabini thrown around his father's circle of friends now and then.

"I'm Theodore Nott." he said, then, unable to stop himself, he blurted, "Who were you with in your compartment?"

"Well, Theo," Theodore winced at the nickname but let it slide, "ever heard of Draco Malfoy?"

The look on his face may have shown a sign of his distaste for the boy, because Blaise guffawed loudly.

"I reckon you have, then." he smirked, "Well, you know what I'm talking about."

"He is a bit much to handle." Theodore agreed.

"Much to handle?" Blaise said disbelievingly, "I could barely stand him for five minutes, don't know how I sat there for four hours without socking the git in the face."

"It takes practice." Theodore said, "I usually just ignore him. Our fathers used to make us play together."

He didn't know how it happened, but the following two hours were spent with him regaling stories of Draco Malfoy and his git-ness to an amused Blaise Zabini, before the boy stood and excuse himself to go back to his original compartment.

"The train's stopping in a few." Blaise said, standing, "Wish me luck, mate."

Theo chuckled, "Good luck."

"I better see you in Slytherin, Theo, I'm not dealing with that bloody git by myself."

The compartment door closed and Theodore changed into his school robes to prepare for the train stopping. Just as he sat down again to resume reading, the door opened once more, making him wonder if he would ever finish his book.

"Hello, Theodore." Hermione said, she too was already wearing her school robes.

After a few moments of sitting in silence, Hermione broke it once more by saying, "Are you nervous?"

Theodore looked at her blankly, "No, not really."

"What house do you want to be sorted into?" she asked curiously.

"I'll probably be Sorted into Slytherin." he shrugged. "All my family's been Sorted there."

"But what do you want?" she prodded.

"Ravenclaw." The word fell out of his mouth unbidden, catching him by surprise. Why did he say that?

"Me too!" she exclaimed, her bright smile showcased a pair of dimples in her cheeks that he somehow could not stop looking at.

"I like reading, and studying - I think it would be quite nice to be in the house of the wise." she said excitedly.

Reluctantly, he agreed, clutching the book he held anxiously.

"Oh, I think the train's stopping!" Hermione said, her gaze now trained on the window, where the view of the proud castle of Hogwarts loomed nearer. Sure enough, the train groaned to a halt and the sound of students shuffling off the train could be heard outside.

Hermione, looking ready to explode with excitement shot to her feet. "Well, I hope I'll see you in Ravenclaw, Theodore!" she said, before dashing out, trunk in tow.

'Not likely.' he thought to himself. He would do everything he could not to get sorted into that house. He winced as a ringing scream wormed its way into his head, reminding him of the last muggle girl he decided to befriend.

No, he would not let that happen again. He buried her bright smile and sweet dimples and soft voice deep in his subconscious where his father couldn't reach the, and swore that he would never talk to, or even think about Hermione ever again.

He lasted about thirty minutes without thinking about her until Professor McGonagall shouted out her name into the Great Hall. 'Hermione Granger.' She walked up excitedly towards the Sorting Hat and the hall watched in anticipation for four long minutes before the hat bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!"

Theodore watched, as confused as Hermione herself as she made way to the Gryffindor table. Well, now fate had ensured that they would never be friends.

A/N: hey lovelies! I'm back! Updating sporadically but definitely updating.