AN:*sigh* Sorry my updates have been slowing down. I just haven't been in much of a writing mood lately. Plus, what started off as a long list of gags to be employed for this story has started to dwindle. So I'm trying to keep going and keep it funny. After all, I'm not primarily a humor writer. This gets tough after a while!!! But anyway, I'm okay with that now. On we go with the fic. I don't own DBZ.
Chapter Fourteen—The Prank, Part II
As before, the battery powered candles offered the only light in the small room. The three diminuitive figures were once again standing around the table. But this time, the scene was just a little bit different then before.
Two of the chibis had the dark green robes on as before, but their hoods were pushed back, letting the faint glow fall directly across their faces. They were looking at the third child, who did not have a robe. This kid was essentially pouting, with arms folded and lower lip sticking out for miles.
"Come on, Trunks, we have to figure out a plan," Gohan coaxed gently.
Trunks, the robeless chibi, turned his nose into the air in a continuation of his pouting. "No. Not till he says sorry."
"It was an accident!" Goten protested loudly, but in vain.
"You set me on fire!" Trunks snarled angrily.
"There was a spider on your back! I killed it for you!"
"It doesn't take a ki blast to kill a friggin' spider!"
"Calm down, you two!" Gohan said loudly, his inner peacekeeper coming to the front with a bound. With very little regard for his own personal safety as a seven year old faced with two Super Saiyan half pints, he dove between his little brother and his little brother's best friend. "Guys, get a grip!"
For a long minute, the Goten and Trunks sandwiched Gohan between them, each struggling to grasp the other—most likely to engage in some first class neck wringing. But after that plan failed, they both stopped. Grudgingly, the two angry chibis seperated, glaring daggers at each other.
Dumb moron,Trunks thought.
Ungrateful jerk,Goten glowered.
Damn kids,Gohan sighed. Then he watched impatiently as the other two children resumed their spots around the table. "Can we get on with it?"
Still scowling at each other with surprisingly Vegeta like expressions, Goten and Trunks nodded.
"Okay, let's get to it," Gohan smirked. "We must continue with Phase Two of our Super Amazing Wonderful Groovy Cool Awesome Plan."
With the promise of a monster prank in front of them, Goten and Trunks forgot their anger towards each other and flashed smirks worthy of Piccolo and Vegeta.
This was going to be fun.
Gohan clutched at the shoebox; from beneath the cardboard lid, the sound of something moving could be heard. Behind him, Goten and Trunks were also clutching at their prizes, though Trunks' was far too big to fit into a mere shoebox. So the chibi had made do with slinging it over his shoulder and hoping to every god in the heavens that no one saw him.
"Let's go," Gohan whispered. The children tiptoed down the long, winding hallways of Capsule Corporation, heading for a very specific room.
Outside the doorway of this very specific room, they paused and let their Saiyan ears do a little bit of work. Namely, they listened for the sound of movement inside. Sure enough, someone was in there. A quick ki check proved it to be Bulma. And the sound of keys jangling around, Gohan was able to deduce that she was either going somewhere in a car, or going to her lab, which was usually kept locked.
But hey, one wasn't a longtime friend of Bulma Briefs without learning a few things. Being a genius himself, Gohan had been summoned to the lab many a time. So of course he knew exactly where the keys were. In the state he was currently in, he realized that knowledge such as that could possibly prove to be quite useful, given the right circumstances.
As Bulma's footsteps retreated from the kitchen, Gohan turned and waved an arm, gesturing for his partners in crime to follow. Together, the terrible trio tiptoed into the kitchen. (AN: Kami bless alliteration!) Sure enough, the room was vacant.
They'd had to time this perfectly to ensure that both the setup and the execution of their Unbelievably Amazingly Astonishingly Cool Plan went well. They knew the schedule by heart. At exactly the same time every single day, Vegeta would become hungry, and storm from the Gravity Room into the kitchen in search of sustenance for his mighty Saiyan appetite.
Only today, the proud Prince of all Saiyans was going to get a very, very unpleasant surprise when he came in to inhale his midday meal. And, as their Super-de-duper Wonderful Big Fat Hairy Plan dictated, they would be waiting with all of the appropriate equipment for capturing such a moment for future generations and future blackmail.
Hey, you do what you have to do when survival is on the line. And besides, they knew a few people who would pay dearly for hard, physical evidence of a moment like they were about to capture.
Each of them grinning to himself, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks set about preparing for what was certain to be an extremely interesting moment in their short lives.
And their timing was indeed perfect. Just as they had finished putting everything in place (including the one Trunks had been carrying—getting that thing where it needed to be had been no small task because of its size), they heard the familiar sound of a door slamming and the usual bellow echoing up and down the hallways. But that was just Vegeta for you. He was physically incapable of entering a room or building without making enough noise to be absolutely certain that every single person residing therein knew that the mighty Saiyan was indoors.
Hey, everyone has their little habits. Some are just a little more annoying than others.
Snickering, the three devilish chibis tiptoed off to watch and await the arrival of their victim.
Vegeta stormed through the halls of his domain. He was hungry, especially after a hard morning of training. After all, that was what he always did, just like Piccolo was always meditating. Again, everyone has their little habits. But at least they were both fairly consistant.
No one bothered him on his trek to the kitchen, which was just as well. Dealing with the man of the house had long ago become a standard part of the basic training undergone by all employees of Capsule Corporation, be they business or domestic. Essentially, they were given the message in a manner that even the thickest person would be able to understand: when possible, AVOID THE GUY!!! When not possible to avoid him, be as quiet as possible, and pray. A lot.
Marching into the kitchen (of course, making a lot of noise to announce his arrival, just in case there was someone in there), he paused a moment, looking around.
One gloved finger tapped thoughtfully at his chin. "What to eat, what to eat…as long as it's nothing the woman made, I should survive."
Apparently deciding something, he strolled across the room to the enormous refrigerator, installed long ago for the simple purpose of storing enough food to satisfy the appetites of the numerous Saiyans in Bulma's life. It had to be restocked every two days or so. He gripped the metal handle and flung the refrigerator door wide open with the intent of finding something remotely edible therein.
And jumped about ten feet backwards, letting out a high pitched yelp. Then he clasped his hands over his mouth, hoping to every god in the heavens that no one had heard that charming little noise. Then he continued backing up until he felt his leg bump against something. Turning, he saw that the something he'd bumped into was a kitchen chair. Making a quick decision, he jumped on the chair and then stared at the refrigerator that was mere yards away.
The refrigerator had snakes crawling over it. Varying in size from about a foot long to something that looked like it was probably longer than Vegeta was tall, they were happily slithering around, all over…the…food…
A sob rose in the back of Vegeta's throat at what he perceived to be the contamination of any and all things edible that may or may not have been residing within that refrigerator. That sob, though, quickly turned to a scream (which he forcibly swallowed) as the snakes began creeping out of the fridge and along the floor towards him—or rather, the chair he was so conveniently standing on.
It was time to face the facts: Vegeta, the proud, mighty Prince of all Saiyans, did NOT like snakes. Not one little bit. Things that could move that fast without legs? That just wasn't right! And now, what looked like a small army's worth of the damned things were slithering across the floor towards him. Nope, not a good situation at all.
Then reason decided to come back from an extended coffee break and check back in for work. He was standing on a chair, afraid of a few little (or not so little) snakes? No way. There was something seriously, seriously wrong with this picture. What the hell was wrong with him.
With reality, his sense decided to start working again. And he noticed something strange. Namely, a clicking noise that seemed to be originating from somewhere near the doorway. Along with the clicking noise was what sounded an awful lot like giggling.
His head whipped around. Standing in the door were three small people. Namely, his brat and the two brats of the accursed Kakarott. No sign of anything that could have made the clicking noise, but definitely a source for the laughter.
But before he could do anything—start a tirade, kill the damn brats, anything!—Bulma came flying into the room. "Vegeta, what—AAAH!" The sentence ended in a scream as she noticed the snakes crawling all over the floor. Then she reacted in a way completely befitting one of the wealthiest, most intelligent people in the world.
She let out a screech capable of shattering glass, and leapt a full five feet into the air to land quite neatly in Vegeta's arms, still screaming. The sound was enough to make Vegeta want to rip his ears off. Unfortunately, unlike Piccolo, he had not been blessed with the ability to regenerate. So tearing his ears off of his head probably wasn't the best plan.
Suddenly, Bulma seemed to realize the position she had suddenly found herself in. Namely, being supported by Vegeta's arms. He coughed, face turning slightly pink from embarassment.
Then he heard that infernal clicking noise again, and his head snapped to glare at the three demon spawns who called themselves children, still laughing their heads off in the doorway. But there was no sign of anything that could have been responsible for that stupid clicking sound.
Bulma's blue eyes followed Vegeta's stare. And, like the genius she was, she put two and two together, and got another number. All in her head, without a calculator. After managing to reaffirm her mental math abilities, she set about figuring out exactly what was going on.
"Trunks," she said in a voice cold enough to turn water into ice, "you are going to remove those things from my kitchen, or I solemnly swear, by all that is holy, you will regret it."
"Can I kill him?" Vegeta actually pleaded. "Pretty please?"
"No!" she admonished him before returning her attention to her son. "No, unless he doesn't have those things out of my house in under five seconds. And that goes for you, too, Gohan and Goten."
The huge grin disappeared from the child's face, along with the faces of his two partners in terror. All three of them swallowed hard, and invoked Saiyan speed to do as Bulma had commanded. And luckily, they had Saiyan speed, considering they had five seconds.
Fortunately, four and a half seconds after Bulma made her threat, the snakes had vanished from the kitchen floor, relocated to parts unknown to all but the children.
Unfortunately, with the snakes gone, there was nothing to keep Vegeta on that chair. And the Saiyan realized it. He climbed down, set Bulma down with a surprising amount of caution, and then turned on the children. An evil smirk crossed his face, and he cracked his knuckles menacingly.
"Vegeta, wait," Bulma said suddenly, surprising everyone. "I have a much better idea for a fitting punishment for these three little trouble makers."
The Saiyan Prince turned to glance back over his shoulder at his mate. The look he gave her was more inquisitive than angry, as though he was waiting to find out exactly what she had in mind.
The look on Bulma's face rivaled Vegeta's for unholy glee. Whatever she was planning, it had to be good. "I'm going to call ChiChi and turn them over to her."
Surprisingly, Vegeta didn't argue. In fact, the smirk on his face only grew wider.
Bulma picked up the phone. "Go out into the living room, you three. Gohan, your mother will be here shortly, I promise. Just get comfortable."
I thought the courts outlawed cruel and unusual punishment,Gohan thought mournfully as he trudged a short way down the hall into one of the buildings many sitting rooms. He closed the door behind him and took a seat on an overstuffed sofa of dubious comfort.
"So, did you get 'em?" Trunks asked in an excited whisper to ensure that no ears, be they human or Saiyan, would be able to hear him.
Gohan grinned broadly, and fished into the pocket of his gi. From there, he withdrew the source of the clicking sounds that had so plagued Vegeta throughout his ordeal—a small camera, film loaded with shots that would be absolutely perfect for future blackmail.
"Awesome!" Goten smiled; then his smile faded. "But we're gonna die in a few minutes."
The three chibis sat in relative silence, waiting for their doom to arrive. All three cringed when the doorbell rang. And minutes later, the door to the living room opened.
ChiChi tapped her frying pan against her upturned palm and narrowed her eyes at the terrible trio of children. "Well, well, well…what do we have here?"
Gohan sighed happily as he closed the book on his lap. Night had fallen quite some time ago, and the outside world was dark. Inside the little house, it was bright and cozy.
Inside one such bright and cozy room, two small children were enjoying a quiet time of taking turns telling each other stories before they followed the sun's example and took to their beds.
"This is awesome," Goten exclaimed after Gohan had finished telling a particularly interesting tale. "I like having a brother my age, even if we fight more."
Gohan grinned. "Well, it's actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. But I think that when the Dragonballs become usable again, I'm still going to find them and get myself wished back to normal. Being a kid is great, but it would be easier if I didn't have an eighteen year old's mind."
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Goten nodded his understanding.
"Okay, you two, time for bed," ChiChi appeared in the doorway. She had calmed down quite a bit since they'd returned home from their excursions of the afternoon. All things considered, facing her wrath for the prank they had played on Vegeta seemed a small price to pay, considering that now Gohan had several lovely photographs from the pranks. The first ones consisted of Vegeta running all over the Capsule Corporation gardens and rolling around on the ground, trying to claw his eyes out. The others portrayed the proud Saiyan Prince standing on a chair, screaming his head off as snakes crawled out of a refrigerator and inched across the floor towards him.
Gohan had every intention of using both for future blackmail as the need should arise. He also had every intention of seeing exactly how many such blackmail shots he could drag out of the mighty Saiyan warrior before he was returned to his normal eighteen year old self. Because when he was officially eighteen again, such childish things as pranks would once again be forbidden to him.
Still, like the child he currently was, he obeyed, not wanting to invoke his mother's anger again. He scurried across the hall into his own room and hopped into bed, snuggling down under the covers. A minute later, his mother appeared in the doorway.
"Good night, you little demon child," she said with a mock scowl on her face.
He smiled. "G'night, mom!"
She clicked off the lights and pulled the door closed.
Gohan pulled the blanket up to his chin and sighed happily. In light of the day's events, he was exhausted, and sleep seemed like a very good idea.
But just as his eyes were falling closed, a thought struck him. So sudden and urgent was this notion that he actually sat straight up in bed. The blanket fell from his shoulders to pile around his waist. He blinked into the darkness, trying to figure out what the problem was.
Across the room, his bedroom door creaked open, and a little voice called to him. "Gohan?"
Goten tiptoed into the room and slowly pushed the door closed so it wouldn't make a sound. Then he sneaked across the room to stand by his brother's bed. "Gohan, something's wrong."
"Yeah, I know," Gohan nodded. "It feels like something just hasn't been right about the last couple of days. But I just can't put my finger on it…"
"That's what I thought," Goten said fervently.
"You two had better be in bed up there!" ChiChi's voice sprang from nowhere.
Both boys jumped at the sudden noise. They blinked owlishly at each other, then said, in perfect unison, "How does she do that?"
Then, they both stopped. After a moment, both Gohan and Goten smiled. "That was it!"
The problem solved, Goten proceeded to tiptoe back across the room and sneak out, presumably to return to the haven of his own bedroom.
Gohan flopped back down onto his pillow and once again pulled his blanket up tightly around him. A smile crossed his face. That was what the problem was; that was what had felt so off about the past couple of days. Things just hadn't been the same. But luckily, it had been remedied.
The Voice of Doom had returned.
AN: Hey, I am working now, so updates are gonna be a little less scheduled and probably a little less frequent. But I won't leave ya hanging! Promise. And I know the pranks are really weird, but I'm going for creativity, not realism. Besides, gotta have some fun with Veggie. ^-^
BTW, in case anyone cares, prom was FANTASTIQUE!!! I got hypnotized at the after-prom party. I really don't remember it, but according to my friends, I drove a Cadillac/motorcycle/horse, sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," danced like John Travolta from "Saturday Night Fever" (and supposedly, I'm very good at it *sweatdrop*), became incapable of counting to ten on my fingers, and forgot both the alphabet after the letter L and my own first name. Yikes. I got home at six in the morning, got four hours of sleep, and then had to go up to the school for a band/choir competition. …zzzz…
Next time, on "Once Upon a Chibi," Gohan reunites with an old friend. And I finally bring Hannah back! She's one of the very few original characters I've ever written into fics as a major player, and she's the coolest old lady in the fanfic world! Of course, I might be a little bit biased…but she's still cool.
Candyland's Fic Pick:
Title:The Fellowship of the Onion Rings
Summary:There's a hot new restaurant in town, with Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, and Piccolo as its best customers. But what happens when the place runs out of its famous onion rings? Why, our heroes go on a quest to find them, of course! You'll laugh hard enough to cry. Scout's honor.