AN: Whew…I've just been on a writing kick lately, so I decided to apply it to this story as well. Not like the old days, when I could sit down and write for a few hours at a time, cranking out three or four chapters in one sitting. I miss those days sigh but meh, whatcha gonna do? And hey, I've made it to thirty chapters with this fic! Wee-hee! I doubt this story will make it all the way to forty.
This was a request someone made, and while I really don't think Gohan would prank Videl, I do believe that maybe he might take advantage of his time as a kid to maybe get back at some other people who made his life somewhat miserable in whatever menial ways they could. So here, by request, is a multitude of prankish goodiness (I hope). This is not the final prank chapter, as that will be the last chappie before they begin the Dragonball hunt, but I don't like to let people down when they make requests that I can do.
Plus, I had a couple of really random scenes, like the very opening scene, that I really wanted to use before I finish this fic, so here they are! Trust me, the opening scene is VERY random. I think it made more sense inside my head.
I don't own Dragonball Z. Akira Toriyama claims that honor. I just own this little bit of silliness and one of the few OCs I regularly use, Hannah, Satan family housekeeper. And silliness abounds in this particular chapter. Put it this way: I'm rewatching 'Kung Pow: Enter the Fist' as I type this. Heehee…
Chapter Thirty—Random Silliness
Or, the Prank, Part 5.5
There was a certain pool in Otherworld, where those who had already passed over could sit and watch those in the natural world. And at the moment, a group of warriors—all of whom had been blessed to the Training Grounds of the Afterlife—sat, watching intently.
At the head of the group, right beside the rainbow-colored portal, was a certain fighter. Infamous in both worlds, he was known for his trademark orange gi, spiky black hair, cheerful grin, utter cluelessness, and deadly strength. At the moment, though, he was displaying the grin—and the total and utter cluelessness.
In the pool, Gohan and Videl were visible. He seemed to be chasing her around. Both looked quite happy, and seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Goku cleared his throat and gestured towards the images in the portal. "And here, we see the teenager and the chibified teenager in their natural habitat. Notice the sappy smiles. This is the sort of thing that will usually cause grandchild-crazed mothers to descend on them, planning weddings and demanding that they have lots of babies right away."
A hand went up in the back.
"Will you please hold questions until the end of the lecture, sir?" Goku said cheerily, and Pikkon lowered his hand to his side, nodding. "Now, let's look at the rare and elusive Bulma—an intelligent, pretty, and unbelievably dangerous creature…"
By nature, Son Gohan was a kind, patient person, without a malevolent bone in his body. But something had happened to the normally benevolent boy. He had been corrupted, by renewed youth, and by another boy named Trunks. Goten usually ended up being dragged along for the ride.
Gohan was rarely the vengeful time. But sometimes…sometimes he was just pushed too far. Vegeta was a prime example of someone who just knew how to push Gohan's buttons. Royally. The only one who had made an even further study of 'pissing Gohan off' was Krillen. Krillen was the undisputed and thus unsurpassed Master of the School of Irritating and Angering Hormone-Driven Super Saiyan Teenagers. Satan Hercule had also quick a knack for getting under Gohan's skin.
And so Son Gohan, one day, in a random burst of...something, he wasn't quite sure what, decided to exact some well deserved vengeance upon those two, Krillen and Hercule. Krillen was to be repaid for years of teasing, mostly where Videl was concerned, and Hercule…well, just for being himself.
The latter, Gohan was a bit concerned about, as this was his girlfriend's father. But to his amazement—not to mention his amusement—Videl found the idea hilarious, and volunteered to help. That became their plan. Trunks and Goten were to be his cohorts on the Krillen end of the spectrum. It was going to be all Gohan, but Trunks had proven to be worth his salt in helping with the plan.
And while they plotted, Goten had simply sat there and watched a bug.
Two unsuspecting people. One glorious day.
This was going to be fun…
When it came to getting Krillen, Gohan wanted to get him where it counted. But there was one person he had to clear it with first. Someone who was probably more capable of inflicting damage and certain death on him then Krillen.
And that person was his wife, Number Eighteen.
Gohan was prepared to beg her to let him pull this prank, but she was surprisingly open to the idea. She even agreed to help out by taking Marron with her on an errand that afternoon, so as not to risk anyone actually getting hurt in this endeavor.
Eighteen left about mid-morning, taking her daughter with her. She went to the Son house, and told the boys it was a go. She would wait there until they came back, hang around a little while longer, and then return home to make sure her undoubtedly-enraged husband hadn't killed any defenseless talking animals or perverts.
Well, any defenseless talking animals, at least.
The three chibis touched down on the sandy beach, and Trunks immediately dragged Goten into hiding. They were going to watch and listen, hopefully unnoticed, and if Krillen blew his top, they would jump in to help subdue and protect Gohan.
Taking a deep breath, the chibified teen pushed open the door, knowing he really didn't need to knock anymore. "Hey, Krillen!" Gohan said cheerily.
"Gohan!" the short man returned the greeting from his seat at the dining room table. "What brings you here?"
"I came to see my girlfriend," Gohan piped, closing the door behind him.
Krillen froze and raised an eyebrow. "Your…girlfriend?"
"Yeah," Gohan nodded and rolled his eyes, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "My girlfriend. Marron." He sighed dreamily. "Man, I never realized it, but she's the love of my life, ya know? I think it was meant to be."
He took a certain amount of delight in noticing that Krillen's posture had gone absolutely rigid, and the eyebrow that a moment before had been raised questioningly was now twitching violently.
Gohan knew it was cruel—a father's love for his daughter is incredibly powerful. And he knew Krillen's rational mind was probably telling him that Gohan didn't mean it, it was a joke—which it truthfully was. But the overprotective father persona was undoubtedly winning out, and Krillen was probably growing closer and closer, with each passing second, to blowing something up.
In all probability, that something would be Gohan.
"So…how long has this been going on?" Krillen growled through clenched teeth. His hands had unconsciously tightened themselves into white-knuckled fists.
"Oh, not too long. Since she got into that fight with Videl in the park…" he sighed again. This was easily a performance worthy of an Academy Award! "Actually, she's not technically my girlfriend, though. I mean, I haven't asked her yet…" He shot Krillen what he desperately hoped was a hopeful, mournful, wounded puppy-dog-esque look. "Do you think she'd say yes?"
Krillen cracked his knuckles. "Were you going to ask her today?"
"Yeah…but I don't see her. Is she here?" Gohan asked, inching towards the door.
"No," Krillen rose to his feet, pushing his chair out behind him. He took one menacing step towards Gohan, who took another step back. He was about two steps from the door now…but Krillen was lurching towards him with murder in his eyes. "Gohan…you do realize that now I have to kill you." One hand flew back, and the short man readied a bright blue ki blast.
"Krillen," Gohan managed to keep a straight face, "you do realize that I'm totally kidding." That was it, he couldn't hold it, and he bust out laughing. Outside, he could hear Goten and Trunks giggling.
The ki blast faded, and Krillen stared at him in confusion. "What?"
"Payback time!" Gohan thrust one fist into the air in a victory gesture. "For all the teasing and torment over Videl and everything else!" Krillen continued to stare blankly, as though he wasn't quite understanding this concept. "Krillen, it's a joke. A prank." Still blank. "We asked Eighteen! She took Marron with her today so she wouldn't hear anything!"
This seemed to stir Krillen back to himself, and he glared at his shorter friend. "Gohan," he said in a low voice, "I might still have to kill you. I haven't decided yet."
"Meh, if you decide, you know where to find me," Gohan waved his hand and turned to the door, then stopped, and called back over his shoulder. "Hey…if I asked her for real, do you think she'd say yes?"
A loud roar and a rocketing ki level was his answer.
"RUN!" The three chibis rocketed off the island towards safety.
One down, one to go.
"Come on, come on!" Videl gestured, and Gohan hustled inside the door she was holding open in wait; she pushed said door closed behind him and led him through the house. "He's training in the dojo right now, so we should be able to get things set up without too much trouble."
The two tricksters let out twin yelps and jumped a mile, whirling to find themselves staring at a very amused older woman—Hannah, the Satan family housekeeper. "And what might we be up to?"
"Hannah!" Videl half-whined, knowing she would be allowed to get away with what they were planning anyway. The housekeeper was the mother Videl had never known, and probably the one person who knew her best.
And she was actually starting to develop what was becoming commonly known as a ChiChi Complex—she was starting to think that maybe Gohan and Videl should be planning a wedding. She had been known to drop subtle hints: verbal cues, pictures of wedding dresses pasted all over Videl's mirror, large signs all over the house that read, MARRY GOHAN ALREADY!!!!!
Nothing too over the top.
One grayed eyebrow arched. "Are we making trouble?"
"Of course!" Videl said, putting on the single most convincing 'innocent' face Gohan had ever seen; it was good enough to give Goten's absolute best a run for its money. Yet Hannah proved immune.
Instead of commenting, she turned a measuring look on the seven-year-old standing innocently beside Videl. "So it really did happen. Gohan, I assume that's you in there."
"The one and only," he nodded.
"So what kind of trouble is on tap for today?" Hannah asked, folding her arms with a glare of mock-menace. "It had better not be anything I need to clean up after."
"The only cleaning up this'll probably need is picking Daddy up off the floor," Videl winked. Hannah mulled it over for approximately half a second, then nodded, and went on her way, leaving them only with a warning to not do anything that would hurt the poor, delusional man too much.
Now free to do what they would, Gohan and Videl tiptoed all the way up to Hercule's infamous Trophy Room, the site of their joke. They snuck inside and began; it took them all of twenty minutes to set things up in there, and then they left it for Hercule to find.
Videl retreated to the Son house with the pranksters, leaving behind video cameras to record the reaction of the world's hero. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Hercule's reaction would be no less than hysterical, hilarious, and most likely, blackmail worthy.
Goten and Trunks went indoors in search of a snack, leaving Gohan and Videl outside to sit and discuss the events of the day in all their entertaining glory. Neither could wait to go back and retrieve the tapes of Hercule's reactions.
But that conversation eventually faded onto other topics.
"Don't you ever get tired of it?" Videl asked offhandedly. "I mean, you've basically gone through Hell. Doesn't it ever get old? I mean, everything from aliens on other worlds to being chibified…how do you put up with it all?"
Gohan chuckled. "Take things one day at a time, and don't sweat the small stuff." He paused. "I remember when I was a kid—er, the first time around, I mean. Piccolo gave me some advice once. He told me about the hell I would undoubtedly go through in my life."
Piccolo looked down at his young student from his imposing height. "You will undoubtedly go through Hell in your life."
"Then he told me the significance of it, and how it would help me be a better person."
The green man went on, "It will be significant, and it will help you be a better person."
Gohan smiled at the memory. "Piccolo always has the best advice."
"Hear, hear," Videl agreed.
Hercule Satan strolled noisily through the halls of his mansion, making sure everyone within a thirty-mile radius knew he was there, and he was on the move. It was one thing he had in common with Vegeta, not that the proud Saiyan would let the afro-ed idiot live if he knew they shared any common trait.
But anyway, the proud World Champion was headed for his legendary Trophy Room. He spent at least an hour in there each day, staring at his tropies and portraits with wide, vacant eyes and a thin trail of drool running down the corner of his mouth as he thought about his various…um, accomplishments.
With a flourish, he pushed open the door—
—and a second later, the windows of the Satan family mansion were shattered as the World's hero, the World Martial Arts Champion, the man who claimed to have defeated Cell—Satan Hercule let out a high-pitched, extremely girly shriek of horror.
Outside, fire hydrants exploded, babies started wailing, and dogs keeled over and died.
All of the portraits and trophies in the room had been flipped upside down; the Championship Belts were thrown haphazardly around the room. And the crowning glory, the coup de grace (or whatever those damn French…er, freedom words are) was an enormous sign, written on a large piece of white posterboard in crimson letters that ran in small rivers to the bottom of the sign.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AT THE CELL GAMES!
Hercule let out another scream…and fainted dead away.
He didn't even notice the video cameras hanging all around the room.
AN: Whew…got it done! Yay rah! You won't believe how much trouble I actually had when I tried to think of a prank for them to play on Krillen. It's the first time I've had any trouble coming up with a simple, yet goofy and effective practical joke for this story…that was the most plausible I came up with.
I know the opening was INCREDIBLY random. I just like the idea of Goku doing that lecture, for some reason. Maybe I'm crazy…yeah, probably.
I had to change some of my formatting—the dividers between sections and such, 'cause ff.net's gotten all screwed up again. I'm also having some issues with spacing and certain characters, and I know I'm not the only one. Would they stop it already? Grrr!
Oh well. Hope everyone enjoyed the new chapter. We've still got a few left. The final prank, the hunt for the Dragonballs, the wish, the epilogue…figure maybe one more chapter before we delve into those Final Four. I've been on a writing kick lately, but I don't know how much longer I'll be on it. Hopefully I'll get the last chapters out a little faster. Ciao!