Good-bye to You

By: Rachel*

Rated: PG-13

Gender: Romance/Drama

E-mail: PeachGirlKiley@aol.com

Web Address: www.Spike-Faye-Shrine.cjb.net

+ Hope Everyone likes this one! I personally enjoyed writing this one more then some of my others… Hmm… Don't know why. Also download the song at the bottom and picture it as Spike singing to Faye! *-* It's so perfect that it's scary! They could so put it into the series if they wanted!! +

--Not Owning a Thing--

Faye,

             I'm sorry; you know I had to go. I couldn't help it. I don't know if I'll be back, either. Try not to miss me that much, okay? I know it'll hurt…oh hell; I miss you just as much.

            You know when two people love each other how they need to be together, how they can't be apart for even two seconds without going insane? It's a wanting that is so strong that keeps them striving to live on. Think of me like that Faye. Keep living, for me and for yourself. Keep the hope that I'll be back for you, okay?

            When I left, I did it to crush the past, to rid myself of the pain aching in my chest. Every bit of me screamed as you tried to get me to stay. Understand that I wanted that… I heard you crying too Faye. I had started to go back, after I reached the hanger and then I figured I would write this for you on my way there. I turned around and started walking back. The need to hold you was with me every second, and still is. If I'm still alive I'll do everything I can to come back to you. No matter how hard it is for me to get to you…

            I'm sitting in the Swordfish. The sunset's great, are you looking at it too? Now I'm just babbling on. There's some stuff in my room, tell Jet to keep it there, for now at least, don't throw it out until you know I'm really gone. My clothes and even that crap bed I've got… Hey, sorry I didn't say anything when you told me you got your memories back... When you came running out of that bathroom…Two days ago maybe? That's when it started coming back to you, right? Your eyes were so hurt looking, scared. All you could do was, say that you were sorry when you ran into me. The worst was all I could do was be rude and ignore the look in your on your face.. What I'm trying to say is that when I come back I want to be there for you, with you. To tell you the truth, you're all I have now too. Julia is dead; I'm going to stop Vicious… Jet's more of a father, or an uncle type…don't you think so?

            I'm going to have to stop writing now; I can see the post office from here. Then I'm off to the syndicate. When I come back, we'll be each other's family, right?

All my love,

                        Spike

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            Faye clutched the letter to her chest as the tears fell from her eyes again. She had already read the letter several times. The paper was crinkled and the ink was smeared in places where her tears had fallen. "Spike." Faye whispered. She huddled herself in an empty corner of his room looking towards the door and his bed. Next to her was his dresser a few scattered belongings lay on top, and then a small stretch of empty wall.

            It had already been three weeks. He had told her to stay strong, but it was so hard. How could she live without him? The only light came in from the window. The city of Mars was lit up on a Friday night. Faye smirked when she remembered going out to dinner. It was after they had won a large bounty. She, Spike, Jet, and Ed went to this new place. Spike got large orders of nearly everything on the menu and when she asked to try some he hit her hand away laughing. She was angry, and still managed to get a few shrimp out of his mass of food. She still loved him though, even if he had been a selfish jerk. He wasn't always like that, they were becoming friends. She had always kept up hopes that one day they'd be more then that. Faye frowned. 'Finally tells me that he's in love with me, and then goes off and gets himself killed…'

            Faye struggled to stand for a moment. Nearly tripping her hand pulled down the red t-shirt. Spike always wore it when he was working on the Swordfish. Tears welled in her eyes again. She coiled herself into a ball on the floor, placing the letter behind her and pulling her shirt to her chest cuddling it. Like a child with a blanket she laid on her side putting it against her face.

            She shivered. The metal floor was cold, but it kept her aware of what was around her. Her hair fell into her emerald orbs as she brought the shirt up to her face inhaling Spike's scent. Faye smiled for a moment as images danced through her mind. His cologne, cigarettes, and him… That was the only was she could ever describe him.

            Faye's body wrenched and she closed her eyes tightly shaking her head. He was leaving again. In her mind; walking down the hall as she slid down a wall and began to cry. "Come home Spike." Faye cried her voice wavering through the room.

            The door silently opened and closed. The soft foot steps couldn't be heard over Faye's cries for Spike. The figure stopped bending down to pick up the paper behind her. They gripped it in their hands tightly and let it fall at their side before looking down at Faye. She still lay, crying holding the shirt in her arms nearly smothering herself.

            "I'm home." The figure uttered. Faye was startled by the sudden noise and jumped huddling herself into her corner again to look up at the shadowed body standing in front of her. Faye's body shook as cold chill ran down her spine. What were they saying? Faye had blocked them from her mind, their voice distant and not understandable.

            The figure frowned and bent down to be face to face with Faye. "I'm home Faye." The voice was deep. Faye's eyes filled with more tears as a hand reached out and touched her face.

            "No…" Faye pulled away at first huddling her head into her knees so the person couldn't see her.

            The person frowned. "I told you not to cry over me, didn't I?" It was a guy Faye noted in the back of her mind. "Faye…" He trailed off. Falling onto his knees he took her hand and pulled it over to him kissing her palm and figure tips gingerly. "…It's Spike."

            Her eyes widened, why was this person kissing her so kindly, with such tenderness? She couldn't look up, not yet, who was it, what did they want, were they going to hurt her? She didn't care if she died now, if Spike wasn't going to… She glanced up her eyes blurred it was hard to make out who the person was. "Stop…" Faye ordered. She pulled her hand away.

            Spike smiled again. "I tell you I'll be back, I tell you I love you, and you still pull away…" He sighed as he moved over next to her and relaxed against the wall glancing over at her. "I'm sorry." He whispered closing his eyes. He was glad to be somewhere familiar. He needed this, a life, a reality, someone to love. Spike opened his eyes again and noticed that Faye was shivering. "Are you cold, or scared of me?" There was no response. Frowning Spike stood up and walked over to his bed. The sheets were unmade. 'She was sleeping in here?' His eyes filled with immediate concern. 'I didn't mean to worry her that much, I even told her not to.' He looked back as Faye. She still sat in her corner shaking. "It's getting late Faye, you should get some sleep." Spike mumbled. Still she didn't respond. Spike was growing frustrated.

            Should she try to listen? Faye glanced up to see two legs swiftly moving over to her. "Don't come near me!" Faye hissed. Forget it, she knew she didn't care if she died, but if she was going to be killed, she'd at least put up a fight.

            Spike rolled his eyes growling in anger. "Damn it Faye, it's me! It's Spike, look at me at least!" Spike was shouting at her, he grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her against the wall pinning her. She was defenseless. Faye flinched trying to coil back up.

            Spike, was dead. How could it be him? Faye looked up. She had heard the guy that time. He was hurting her though; he had such a tight grip, why couldn't he just let her go? Faye closed her eyes tightly; she was changing her mind again. They were scaring her, she wanted to live. Faye didn't say anything; she kept her eyes tightly shut, as a stream of tears rolled down her pale cheeks. Spike glanced down to find his working shirt in her lap. He smiled and loosened his grip on her letting himself lean into her frame his forehead meeting hers. Faye's eyes shot open. "Who do you—" She stopped and pushed him away violently swinging her arms in the air as she brought her hands to her face in shock. "Spike…"

            "Finally recognize me? I didn't know I changed so much in three weeks." He gave her that sly grin that would always make her melt. He was a little shaken up by her reaction, but was finally calming down at bit. Faye was still shaking. He moved over to her and locked his arms around her waist and picked her up. She was like a limp doll, and surprisingly light. "Are you cold?" He mumbled again. Faye nodded into his chest hugging him close. How could she not have realized it was him? She glanced back at the letter and his shirt lying on the ground.

            "Yeah," Faye spoke again. "I missed you Spike." Faye sighed as he sat her on the bed. Spike smirked.

            "Well, I hoped you would at least a little bit." He laughed as she blushed. It was the first time he had seen her react like that to one of his flirtatious comments. He walked over and picked up the letter and shirt and placed them on his dresser. Faye was already dressed in her cotton boxers and white tank top. Spike pulled off his suit jacket before kicking off his boots and grabbing a beater from his drawer. Faye glanced over at him as he pulled off his yellow shirt and left it on the back of a chair. She looked down her face turning beat red. The tears were still on her cheeks. She turned to face the door lying on her side. Spike walked over and blocked her view.

            "I missed you so much Spike…" Faye trailed off shuttering as she inhaled deeply. Spike nodded and pulled back the covers and faced her lying on his side as well, and looking over at her. His two-toned eyes studied her over before he moved closer pull her into his chest. Faye came closer absorbing his warmth. She let her one hand run over his chest. Spike flinched pulling her hand away.

            "That hurts…" he mumbled. Faye glanced up in question. Spike shook his head and let his head rest on top of hers, his fingers running through her violet locks. "I didn't get away from Vicious without him getting a good stab at me… Literally." Faye almost wanted to laugh at the sarcasm that he had in his voice. She shook her head.

            "As long as you're alive…" Faye smiled kissing his healing wound tenderly. Spike sighed into his violet hair. She loved this man. This man who could hold her close, make her feel safe…

            "I'm not dreaming anymore, I know that." He smirked falling onto his back. Faye grimaced in protest and turned onto her stomach letting her head rest on his upper chest. She could hear his heart beating steadily.

            "Was that letter, just something to keep my hopes up, or did you mean it?" Faye murmured, pulling up the blankets over her shoulder.

            "Think of it this way, would you be in my bed, with me if I didn't?" He glanced down at her with a wide grin across his face. "Yes Faye, every word of it." He moved back a little when Faye sat up and placed a hand on each of his shoulders. She looked into his eyes searching for any sign that it was a lie. "I'm not lying, Faye." Spike knew what she was looking for. Faye sighed letting her face turn to the side and rest in the crook of his neck breathing steadily. Her hand ran down his chest and Spike's body tensed. Her hand slowly crept under his shirt and over to his wound. There were stitches. Spike's lips priced together. They ran from his side to the base of his sternum.

            "Spike…" Faye blinked a few times, trailing off. "This is worse then a good stab!" Faye growled she sat up and pulled up his shirt looking at it closer. Spike coughed uncomfortably placing his arms at his sides.

            "They said it'll heal and that the scars will disappear with the medications that they gave me." Spike smiled letting his right arm rise and land gently on her face. Faye looked back at him. It was like he had never left. It was Spike, and now he was hers, to hold, to love, forever…

            Faye frowned before placing her hands on his shoulders, and leaning down to kiss him gingerly. She pulled away to see his reaction. Spike smiled pulling her back down. "Spike…" She moaned into his mouth moving so she sat on top of him. She looked down at Spike whose eyes were warm, something had changed, and the pain was gone. No dark corners lay hidden in the looming shadows. Instead there was a warm, kind light that welcomed her. She was needed. He had come back to her, the thing that she had needed all along. Only seeing him, only wanting him; there would be no more good-byes…

            "I love you Faye." Spike uttered as she let herself roll onto her side. Spike wrapped his arms back around her, his head buried into her neck, his legs tangling with hers.

Save Tonight

- Eagle Eye Cherry

Go on and close the curtains
All we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight

We know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away....it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I......that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone....

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Picture this song/download it and doesn't it seem JUST like something Spike would be singing to Faye trying to tell her not to be upset as he's leaving…?! Well, or like there was still one night before he left and that they spent it together?! I sooo was freaking out when I downloaded this! It was one of my favorite songs, and still is… ::cries:: SPIKE + FAYE 4 EVER!! I hope you liked this alternate ending!!!!

Also Protecting the Enemy chapter 12 should be up in the next day or so, if its not already! ^___^