Helen put down the last of her stuff in a box and sighed. She put her hands on her sides and looked around in the empty apartment.

She was going to miss this place. If she could've afford it she would've kept it.

Her sister Elsa had wanted to buy it from her. It had been Helen's last chance to gloat when she told Elsa what it cost and saw the face colour drained from her sisters face.

Elsa would never afford it.

Helen was happy about that in the sense that she didn't want anybody to move into her old apartment.

She knew it was inevitable but at least she didn't need to know if she didn't know the person who moved in.

"Hey Hel, are you ready to go?" Julie looked in through the front door and Helen turned around and smiled.

"In a sec." She said and then frowned a little. "You know what, you go visit your mom first and I'll just dwell in the past for a couple of hours. Walking around town."

She smiled again. "And then we're off to New York."

Julie nodded. "Are you sure? We wanted to meet Ray's parents also ... it could take some time."

Helen nodded reassuring. "That's totally fine. Take the time you need. It's not like I'm in a major rush."

Julie smiled again and they heard Ray honk the car horn down outside the house.

"So we'll meet up here when?" Julie asked and Helen shrugged.

"Call me on my cell."

"Okay. See you later, I don't want to keep Ray waiting much longer." Julie was off and Helen looked around the apartment again.

She walked into the bathroom remembering when someone who'd wished to kill her had chased her in there.

It hurt in her to think that she could've been dead.

She looked out the window. She'd thrown herself from there in pure desperation.

There was no question about it. She really needed to move away from here.

Then her eye caught something that made her smile softly. On the window ledge the letters B.C. + H.R. were carved inside a heart.

Barry had done it right when she'd moved in. They'd been standing by the window to get some air since the bathroom was newly painted and was full of paint fumes.

He'd taken a knife and carved in their signals in a heart and smiled at her.

"See, now all guys will know that you are my girl and that there's in no point of trying."

She'd smiled at him. "They'll never get this far." She'd promised him and she'd kept her promise.

Now she let her hand touch the carvings and felt stupid.

She had to say goodbye to Barry. She couldn't just leave like he didn't mean anything to her. She couldn't have him think that.

It had been a week and a half since he'd rushed out of her apartment.

Helen hadn't allowed herself to wonder why he'd been there in the first place. He'd said he'd been an idiot.

With new determination she walked into the empty bedroom and took her purse and her jacket.

She was going to Barry's college to say goodbye. Hopefully end things on good terms.

She hoped into her car that she hadn't sold yet and drove there in full speed.


Barry was sitting in his room with Kelly. She was a sweet girl - a little dumb but hey, that meant he didn't need to work as hard.

"Oh Barry, I'm so glad I met you. That day when you picked me up in your car - it was like a dream come true."

Barry smiled of curtsey but didn't really listen. He was bored. He'd been bored out of his mind the latest week.

He'd blown off class, ignored his parents and friends and mostly hung out with Kelly or spent time at the gym.

Kelly had gotten this idea that they were in love. Maybe she was, he wasn't and he wasn't interested in being either.

He had moved his picture of Helen from his drawer to the drawer in his bed stand. Kelly didn't know.

It still hurt to think of Helen. But he couldn't get rid of the picture, he just couldn't.

He heard some voices in the hall and hoped that it wasn't anyone who came to nag on him for not being at class today either.

"Barry what are you thinking?" Kelly asked with her big brown eyes at him and he turned his blue towards her. He hadn't realise he had been staring into nothing.

"Eh, nothing Kell." He leaned closer and kissed her. She giggled a little and pulled away.

"Is this all you think of Barry?"

He nodded and pulled her into his arms again. "When I'm around you." He said and kissed her again.

He heard the door being opened but ignored it. When no one came in he opened his eyes to see whom it was.

He was shocked to see Helen standing there looking hurt. When their eyes met she turned and ran.

Barry moved quicker then ever. He let go of Kelly and ran after her. Ignoring Kelly's wondering calls after him.

He caught up with Helen right outside the college when she was on her way to her car.

"Helen wait." He said and grabbed a hold of her arm to make her stop.

She looked away from him. "Barry leave me alone. I was stupid to come here ... I, I didn't think..." She sobbed a little and Barry was sad for what she'd seen.

"Helen." He said beginning and she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I just wanted to say goodbye but now I realise that was stupid. What do you care?"

Barry couldn't believe how stupid she was - of course he cared.

"I care Heller, I thought I already explained that. But you can't expect me to just sit around and wait for you when you're leaving town for good."

Helen blinked a couple of times. "Expect that? I know you wouldn't wait for me! You wouldn't even wait for me for a day if so our lives depended on it!"

"You never have anything nice to say to me do you? Are you trying to make this harder?" Barry asked and Helen shook her head.

"I'm sorry if I can't get myself to understand why you cheated on me so many times! Why you lied when you knew I could die from it." She sobbed again. "Why I'm not enough for you."

Barry saw the tears start to run down her cheeks and he wanted to hold her but he didn't know if she'd let him.

"Heller ..." He started.

"Don't call me that! It's ...to much. It makes me think of our better times. If there ever was such a thing."

She dried her eyes. "Here I go again, crying, I cry so much over you Barry. It's not fair. I cry while you kiss other girls." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm going to leave now."

Barry grabbed new hold of her arm when she made an effort to leave.

"I can't let you leave Helen."

She frowned at him. "What?"

"I can't let you leave like this. I can't explain really why I cheated on you. After that night I just couldn't stand myself - I'd killed a little boy."

Helen opened her mouth to protest but Barry held up his hand to silence her.

"I was driving, it was me okay?" He shook his head a little. "I couldn't stand me, I couldn't stand Ray or Julie and I definitely couldn't stand you. I blamed you for so much. I blamed myself. I didn't deal."

Helen listened while her tears went dry. She'd never heard him speak open heartedly like this.

"I know I've been a jerk and I wish I could take the pain I've caused you away. But the truth is I didn't even care before that I was hurting you. I knew it - I just didn't care." He looked down on his feet and Helen did so too.

She wasn't sure she wanted to hear this.

"I've only recently just realised that this agonising, empty hole in me is there because I miss you. And I ..... I like kind of ....I love you Helen."

Helen swallowed hard and looked at his face. Their eyes met.

"You love me?" She asked weakly not believing what she'd just heard.

He nodded. "I do, and I know that it is too late to tell you this but ...." He got quiet when Helen kissed him.

When she let him go he looked confused.

"What was that?" He asked and she laughed a little with a hint of sadness.

"I just, I've been waiting to hear that since I met you and even though this isn't the best time I just needed to kiss you."

"Well don't get me wrong I don't mind I just kind of thought you were severely P.O. at me."

Helen nodded. "I am .... or I'm not sure anymore. You affect me in so many ways Cox. I want to hate you but I just can't."

Barry watched her with a burning desire to kiss her again.

"Heller, is there a chance for us?" He asked feeling there was no time to waste.

She was quiet for a couple of seconds and then she looked down on her feet and mumbled something he didn't hear.

"What?" He asked and she looked into his eyes.

"Yes, there'll always be." She said and he allowed himself to smile and kiss her again. She wriggled free.

"What about the girl ... in your room."

Barry had already forgot about Kelly. He glanced over his shoulder and shrugged.

"I don't like her. I just picked her up because I was mad at you. I wanted to show you ... guess I did huh?"

Helen laughed a little and allowed him to take her in his arms again.


Helen woke up from the noise of a fire truck. She was not yet used to all the never-ending sounds of New York but she loved it.

She yawned and stretched her body out before she rolled around onto her side and let her arms wrap around Barry's body.

She leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

She could hardly believe her luck. Seven months earlier Barry had told her he loved her.

She still couldn't believe all that had happened since then.

He'd helped her to move into the apartment her new station had gotten her.

He'd visited her during the weekends while applying to a new college in New York. Helen had helped him and it had been one of the happiest days in her life when she'd learned that he'd got in.

He'd moved in with her against his parents will.

Just two days earlier they'd got engaged. But since they both knew now that they were too young to get married they'd put that off into the future.

Barry had said that he just wanted to see his ring on her finger and he could die a happy man if she wore it.

Helen had forbid him to say anything that had to do with dying - after all this she wanted some blissful happiness.

Barry moaned a little now and yawned before rubbing his eyes.

"Morning sleepy head." Helen mumbled when he rolled onto his back and put his arms around her.

"Morning beautiful." He said and kissed her.

It was Sunday morning. Helen loved Sunday mornings. It was the best day off the week.

They usually started with some tumbling around in the bed before showering.

They went out for breakfast and strolled around in Central Park before returning to the apartment for a quiet evening.

Barry never studied on Sundays and Helen never worked. It was their day.

It wasn't easy but they were really working on their relationship now. They both wanted it to last.

Helen kissed Barry again.

"So want to get up?"

Barry shook his head. "I pretty much feel like staying down." He grinned and she laughed.

"Mm me too come to think of it. Why don't we stay down all day today and hey maybe a crazed flu bug we'll creep in through our windows and force us to take tomorrow off."

Barry pulled her closer with a laugh.

"That's my girl." He said and kissed her. "I love you Heller."

"I love you too."
****************************' END OF STORY

A/N: Hope you liked my fanfic. Thank you all who reviewed it. Without you it probably never would've got to its end.

Jennifer-Phoenix Reed