Disclaimer: I do not own Haruka or Michiru, Naoko Takeuchi does. But I do own the plot of this story, so don't steal it, please.
fic was written for one of the Hamena fanzine, and
since it has been published already, I now can publish it here too ^_^
Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with the original timeline of the Anime / Manga. It's more or less original ^_^
You're My Heart, You're My Soul
Haruka sat next to the bed, her head in her hands. Small, transparent drops fell out from between her fingers, landing on the carpet. Every now and then, a racked sob would shake the blonde's body, but that would be the only sound she made. Finally, after a seemingly endless time, she looked up again. Looked at the motionless figure that laid in the bed, connected to an IV and several beeping machines. "I'm sorry." The racer now whispered, carefully taking the hand of the person in hers. "I'm so sorry, Michiru..." More tears started to flow when Haruka remembered the first meeting with the one she loved more than anything.
"Look, Michiru! It's Haruka Tenoh!" Meika, Michirus best friend, cried out, while she pointed to the tall blonde who stood in front of the spare parts store. "You're right." Michiru agreed; she couldn't believe her luck. Haruka Tenoh, Japan's most famous F1 racer, was only standing five meters away! "Go and talk to her!" Meika advised her friend, who blushed furiously. "No! Why should she talk to me?" Michiru replied. Meika just grunted in response and shoved Michiru forward. The aqua haired girl stumbled and bumped into the blonde racer, who looked at surprised. "Hello." Michiru blurted out. The blonde just frowned. "Umm...sorry for bumping into you." Michiru continued to talk. The blonde continued to frown, and Michiru started to get desperate. "I'm a fan of you!" she finally informed the racer, hoping to make her smile with that. "Really?" Haruka replied, her voice even lower and huskier than it was on TV. Michiru thought that she would have to faint right on the spot, and she could feel heat creeping up her face. "Yes." She answered, her heart skipping a beat when Haruka smiled at her. "That's nice." The blonde then said. "Could I have an autograph?" Michiru asked, hope in her voice. Haruka nodded, dug one of her special autograph cards out and scribbled something on it before she handed it to Michiru. "See you around." The blonde then spoke, turned around and left before Michiru had the time to say something. When the aqua haired girl looked at the autograph, her heart sang with joy. Underneath Harukas peppy name stood: "438521. Call me."
Haruka smiled a little at the memory, but her smile faded when she looked at the lifeless form of her lover again. She squeezed her hand and softly whispered: "Don't leave me. Please...just remember..."
"Thanks for the nice evening." Michiru spoke, looking up at Haruka with joyful eyes. Haruka smiled at her. "It was my pleasure, Michiru." After the blonde had given her number to Michiru, the aqua haired girl had summed up all her courage and called her in the evening. Haruka had invited her for dinner, and now the two of them stood in front of Michirus house, next to Harukas black City Rover. Being a perfect gentleman, Haruka took Michirus hand, kissing it. "Can we repeat this?" she then asked. Michiru just nodded, dumbfounded, and Haruka chuckled. "You okay?" she then asked, playfully tugging a strand of Michirus long hair. "Yes, I'm fine, thanks." Michiru replied, smiling. Haruka winked at her, and that was when she realized that she still held Michirus hand. She blushed furiously, something that hardly ever happened to her, and wanted to let go, but Michiru tightened her grip and refused to let her pull back her hand. Haruka gave her a questioning look, and that was when Michiru suddenly pulled her head down to her and kissed her.
"I thought I would faint." Haruka smiled once more at her lover, stroking her pale face. "If you wouldn't have taken the first step, we would've been on twenty more dates." She let out a short, bitter chuckle. "Everyone always thought that I'm so tough and strong. But you...you were the only one who could look behind my mask. You saw the real Haruka." She sighed once more, bent down and kissed the cold lips of her lover. "You are my heart and my soul, Michi. Please don't leave."
Haruka sat in the first row of the concert hall, wearing her black tuxedo, and looked up on the stage where Michiru just entered. The audience rose from the chairs, clapping, while Michiru bowed and lifted her violin to her chin. She shot a short glance at Haruka, who winked at her, smiled and started to play. Soon all the people who attended the concert were completely absorbed in the music. Although Haruka had visited every single event of her lover, she still couldn't get enough of her songs. The blonde just sat there, listened, and couldn't believe her luck. Michiru had chosen her, the gruff, tough racer. Her. Not one of the countless men who admired her, and not one of the countless masculine women who loved her. Her. Haruka let out a little sigh and smiled up to her lover, who's eyes were focused on her all the time. "I'm playing just for you, Haruka." The blonde's smile widened when she remembered what Michiru had told her before the concert had started. Mouthing a silent "I love you", Haruka looked up at her love, earning a little smile in return.
"You did everything for me." Haruka now spoke, not getting any answer. She hadn't expected one. "And I...all I gave to you was pain. With my constant flirting...I understand what you did, Michiru. It tears my heart apart to know that your state is my fault...I wish you could hear me...and hear me say that I love you." She closed her eyes when more tears threatened to fall. "I never wanted this to happen." Haruka whispered, all her sorrow and her feelings of guilt shining through her voice. "I wish I...could turn back time and..." her voice cracked, and another sob shook her body. "Oh God, Michiru, I'm so sorry!" The blonde cried out, burying her face in the white blanket that covered her love. Her body shook with the desperate tears she cried into the linen, but she knew that Michiru couldn't see her - and maybe never would see her again.
"I have enough!" the aqua haired girl screamed, fire in her eyes. "But Michiru..." Haruka started, only to be interrupted from her lovers fury. « I said I have enough! I don't care what you want to tell me now to make me believe that you are all innocent!" the musician raged. Haruka took a step back at the anger of her lover, then scolded herself for being such a coward and reached out to touch her loves shoulder. "Don't touch me!" Michiru hissed. Haruka pulled back her hand. "Michiru, listen..." "I don't care about the lies you want to tell me again!" Michiru snapped while she grabbed her coat and put it on. "I'm leaving! Don't expect me to come back, and don't try to find me! It's over!" Haruka felt a pang of pain in her heart at the last two words. "Michi, love, you can't mean that!" she called out while Michiru already was on her way out. "Oh yes, I do!" Michiru replied and rushed out through the front door. Haruka opened her mouth to call after her once more, but before she could do so, the front door was slammed close. Haruka stood in the hallway for a few minutes, until she heard the sound of Michirus car driving away. Sighing, the blonde walked back into the living room and sat down, waiting for her lover to come back.
"You never came back." Haruka whispered, her words muffled by the blanket. "You had a crash with your car...and it's all my fault. I'm so sorry...I shouldn't had been flirting all the time, I knew how much it hurt you, and still...oh God..." Haruka squeezed her eyes shut, biting back her tears. Without success.
Michiru groaned inwardly; her whole body felt as if it had been set on fire. She opened one eye, and the sunlight shone into her face. "Where am I?" the aqua haired girl thought to herself. "What...what happened?" she opened her other eye, and that was when she noticed the weight on her right leg. Looking down, Michiru spotted a well known mass of blonde hair. Haruka sat next to her bed, she realized, a little shocked. Her shock increased when she saw the shaking of her lover's shoulders. "She's crying." Michiru thought to herself, her eyes widening. She had never seen Haruka cry before. Never. Slowly, the aqua haired girl reached out and placed a gentle hand on Harukas head, causing her to look up. "Hey." Michiru whispered, wincing in pain. Haruka just stared at her lover for a few moments before she realized that Michiru had woken up. Quickly, Haruka sat upright, grasping her lover's hand. "You're awake!" she called out, disbelief and happiness in her voice. Michiru gave her lover a weak smile. "You made me wake up, Haruka." She then whispered, her voice weak and unsteady. "I felt your love...when you talked about all those past events..." "I'm so sorry." Haruka softly spoke, fresh tears burning in her teal eyes. "It's all my fault..." "Don't say that." Michiru replied, her voice already stronger than before. "It was my fault too. I knew that those women mean nothing to you, and still..." She stopped talking and looked at her lover, smiling. "Stop crying, Haruka." She then whispered. Haruka smiled while tears streamed down her face. "I can't." she replied, wiping her eyes out. "But you never cry." Michiru reminded her, smiling. "I thought that I would loose you." Haruka admitted. Michiru squeezed her hand. "You won't, Haruka. Let's just start from the beginning, okay?" Haruka smiled and nodded, the tears still flowing. "Okay, love. You know...you know what you are for me, right?" Michiru gave her lover a gentle look. "Yes. And you know what?" Haruka eyed her questioningly, and her eyes lit up at Michirus next sentence. "You're my heart, and you're my soul, Haruka."