Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: PG-13. Icky, subject. ::sniff:: Poor John.
Spoilers: From Crichton Kicks Through Promises. Stuff before that, too.
Time: Takes place directly after Promises.
Notes: Yeah, I know John and Aeryn weren't really on good terms all that much at this point because of the b-a-b-y, but That's not the issue here.
Summary: Pancakes… mmmm…. I was not happy with the way The writers dropped the fact that John basically got raped, and no one ever really mentioned it. Ever. Not until La Bomba. I fixed it. ;)


He didn't sleep anymore.

She knew he didn't sleep anymore and it bothered her to no end.


The Nebari girl jumped a little as the Sebacean entered command. "Aeryn. What's up?"

"I… I was wondering… why doesn't John…? He never sleeps anymore, does he?"

Chiana shrugged, and didn't look at her. "Why do you care?"

Aeryn didn't even dignify that with an answer. She only stormed out.


He stood in the galley, flipping something up and down in a pan.

She smiled at the sight of him and walked over to place a hand on his arm.

The pan dropped down to the stove and he whirled around, Winona raised. He stared at her and dropped the pulse pistol. "Aeryn. Sorry."

She backed away from him, shocked, and a little hurt.

"John, what was that?"

"Nothing," he told her.

"Nothing," Aeryn repeated. "What's happened to you?"

"What's happened to me?" He snapped. "What's happened to you, Aeryn? What the hell happened to you?"

She didn't reply.

He sighed and turned back to the stove. "I'm just… I'm worried about you."

"I'm worried about you, too," Aeryn replied, sitting at the table. In front of her sat a large stack of… tanned round… somethings.


"They're pancakes… er… close as I could get. Used to make 'em all the time back home… try one."

She picked one up. It was soft and flimsy as she tore a small piece off and popped it into her mouth. She nodded. "This is wonderful."

"Thanks. I'm pretty sure their better back home." He sat across from her and put one more on the pile. "Couldn't sleep, so I cooked."

She stared at him. "John, why can't you sleep?"

He stared at her for a long moment before taking a flapjack off the pile. "Don't wanna talk about it."

Aeryn glared. "What is this, payback?" she snapped.

"No, Aeryn," he said, his voice tired. "I really just don't wanna talk about it. I don't think I can." His eyes fixed on the stack of food, avoiding her gaze at all costs.

She took his hand, which shook a little in her grasp. He still didn't look at her.

"You're shaking."


"…Is it me?"

He shook his head. "No, it's me."

They sat in silence like this for a long while.

She still stared at him. "Someone did something to you."

"It's no big deal."

"Obviously, it is. Something has you jumping at the slightest touch."

He let go of her hand and folded his arms on the table. "I said I didn't-"

Aeryn wasn't giving up. "Was it Scorpius? The Scaraans aga-?"

"Grayza," He told her finally, but said no more.

"Grayza," Aeryn repeated. "Did she torture you?"

"Something like that," he told her.

She got to her feet, and walked over to his chair. John slid himself back a bit, avoiding her.


"Cut it out, Aeryn, I'm not in the mood for this."

She moved closer, and he moved to get up, but she pushed him back down.

"Aeryn! What the-"

She moved to sit on his lap, and he shot up quickly.

"John, what did she do to you?" Aeryn asked.

He looked from side to side, as if looking for spies. "Stuff," he told her quietly. "Lotsa… Lotsa stuff."

She saw it in his eyes. His huge, blue eyes conveyed extreme edginess.

And it all clicked.

He saw her expression turn to realization, and then to something like disgusted anger. He took a step back. She was angry, and he was pretty sure she was going to blow up at him. 'How could you let this happen?' she would ask. 'You frelling human! Can't you keep yourself out of mortal danger for three microts?!' she would yell.

She didn't. She reached a hand out and cupped his cheek. His first instinct was to pull away, but he stayed put and let the coarse feelings subside, closing his eyes, trying not to lose it.

"I missed you," he told her.

"I missed you, too," She said, taking a step closer and pressing her forehead to his. She smiled a little. "And I am going to kill Grayza."