A/N

Rumors of my death have not been exaggerated at all. Behold! For I, the illegitimate son of a crack-whore and intata, am here to continue his great work. May all who remember him, do so with disgust and impatience. I take up this mantle with a heavy heart - because my crack-whore mother had a history of blood clots - and only wish to follow in my father's footsteps. Though, I fear that I may die of genetically passed down syphilis soon. I will train my own son to post the next chapter after this. I, intata Jr, will not fail. On this I swear.

Just don't be surprised when intata The Third takes another year to post a friggan chapter.

Fuck I'm slow at this.

Also, I am completely baffled at the number of people that have correctly guessed the identity of the mystery lady in the last chapter. She exists in one comic. Well, at least only one that I can find. As in one issue. It's not a series, and I can't find mention of her anywhere else. She's not even technically canon to Marvel. I think it was one of those little one-shot 'What-if' things?

I thought she was niche, but noooo, y'all just know about her for some reason.

Bleh.

I don't own marvel.


Quick recap? Why are you getting an email about an update for a story you can't remember reading?

Nathan Quill, the twin brother to Peter Quill (Star Lord, GoTG), is a reincarnate artificial intelligence expert, and human-Celestial hybrid that learned how to use his father's powers. He gets abducted by space pirates at eight years-old, spends another eight years being a mechanic for said pirates, then another year alone after he steals a spaceship (named the USS M'Dick). During that year he goes to the planet Morag, where he finds the Infinity Stone of Power, and proceeds to jump-start his Celestial abilities.

The next few years after that start off with him bumbling back to Earth, where he joins the Masters of the Mystic Arts, and gets "~Lets do the Time Warp Again~'d" back into a five year-old via Time Stone shenanigans. Spending a lot of time there, he manages to become a recognized Master of the Mystic Arts himself, makes a few friends, and changes some world-views. Then he made like a tree and got the fuck out of there.

Now, Nathan is nearing adulthood for the third time, has spent about five-ish years at Wakanda - screwing with the royal family and learning everything he could about Vibranium and the human body. Nathan basically has an unofficial Ph.D in Biology right now, and could be considered one of the foremost medical professionals in the world - due to sheer knowledge on the subject, and his abilities to reproduce human anatomy via Celestial powers.

Oh, and he also started building Alice - his 'Dumb' AI pocket tool, into a proper artificial intelligence.

So where are we now? Oh, yeah. Nathan had the bright idea to try and Wolverine himself. Something about Vibranium and a weakness to Magneto? I dunno. Let's talk about that.

Story Start!


So he actually ended up starting off on something smaller than rats. As a true sorcerer-scientist knows, petri dishes have their own magic.

Dropping a small sample of his own bones into the dish turned out to be a larger problem than he previously thought, though. He couldn't just recreate a bit of it using his Celestial energy, because he wasn't alone.

He couldn't really imagine a scenario where random bones appearing would be acceptable to the people of Wakanda. Or any people, for that matter. He was also pretty positive that if he tried to cut himself open for a direct sample, he would be put on a self-harm watch.

Not very conductive to furthering his research, regardless of the fact that he could now heal himself relatively quickly.

So in the end, he was forced to portal back to his ship, the USS M'Dick, where he kept a bit of lab equipment, and do the whole process; creating a bit of bone using his own as the blueprint, while imbibing it with his Chi to give it life. Then introducing tiny bits of loose Vibranium atoms into the Petri dish and watching how it interacted with the manufactured cells.

And golly gee willikers, Batperson (what multiverse is this?), is that a brand spanking new scientific discovery?

The Vibranium atoms aren't just compatible with the tissue cells, they bind them… wait a minute… is that a quote? It sounds like a quote. Anyway, it was stupendously easy to introduce loose Vibranium atoms to individual cells. They would literally surround and merge with them on their own accord, almost as if the living matter had a magnetic attraction to the mythical metal.

The following couple of weeks saw Nathan back in his ship semi regularly, looking over the effects that this merging would have, and going through more in-depth experiments.

Within a three-foot-long glass canister that was set up on his workbench, he had placed a full copy of his left leg, skin, muscle, and all. In order to try and keep it alive, he had to keep a constant vigil on the culture bath it swam in, as well as supply a bit more Chi every week or so. The bones inside had been fully merged with Vibranium, and he had been trying to find out if the metal would have detrimental effects on the surrounding tissue.

To his immense surprise, it was the exact opposite. The Vibranium had actually bonded in such a way that the surrounding tissue were benefiting from the metal's close proximity, but only if the metal had taken some slight punishment.

Vibranium reacted to energy and force much like a black hole did. It would suck in all the energy that acted against it, or in close enough proximity, then emit that same energy as Delta Radiation - as Shuri called it - much like a black hole's Hawking Radiation, but the Delta variety was so much more nanosecond to the next, it could mimic the effects of Alpha and Gamma radiation at the same time, emit trace amounts of light, energize subatomic particles of anything touching it, or become totally inert.

This Delta radiation did nothing but good things to surrounding life, boosting Chi production and efficiency. The only reason Nathan still had to supply Chi to the leg was because he didn't whack the thing before putting it in the container. When he created it from scratch, it was essentially energy-dead, outside of the innate energy it needed to exist. If he hit it with a stick a few… thousand times, he wouldn't even have to touch the system for a year or so.

Feeling emboldened by his experiment's success, the few months following it, he spent the nights in Wakanda introducing minuscule amounts of the metal into his skeletal structure, slowly bonding it with each individual bone starting from his toes upward.

He was now in a seventeen-year-old's body, and was close enough to his adult height, so if he just went back over the changes every week or so, there would be absolutely no effect on his growth. He also didn't notice too much of a change with the weight of his body; Vibranium was a very light metal, all told, but even then, he had the impression that the Delta Radiation was slowly strengthening his muscles and tendons to help account for the change in density.

Though, it could also have been his body adapting to the gradual change itself.

It was hard to tell which, but it worked.

Nathan Quill - the dimensionally displaced, Human-Celestial hybrid with a Masters degree in the Mystic Arts, unofficial Ph.D in Biology, owner of the Power Stone, and an almost complete artificial intelligence best friend - now had Vibranium bones.

Oh, and did anyone mention the sheer stupidity of the scale he could now store his Celestial energy in? A simple little ring of vibranium could hold a feasible ocean of the stuff compared to other materials. His bones were now made of that.

This was beginning to get unfair for everyone else.


"Test date January 16th, 2009. Project designation: I'm Not Lonely, I Swear."

An unladylike guffaw came out from behind Nathan as he spoke into one of his Kimoyo Beads. He ignored it.

"This is attempt number twelve to bring online a self aware artificial intelligence based off of a previous companion program. Igor! Pull the lever!"

Shuri gave him a deadpan stare. "That's not even close to the right quote."

He spun on her. "Oh. Well let's make it accurate then. Young or old?"

"What do you think? Young is the only interpretation that has a decipherable script, and I never read the book."

"Igor's not even in the book."

She blinked. "Wait, really?"

"Yes, really. You uncultured swine." He swung back around with an exaggerated flourish, and waved his hand over the room. "Alwahum" He intoned in an ancient Egyptian dialect, basically translating to 'Great Illusion.'

Immediately, reality started to melt away; color drained from the world into sepia and the distant, muffled sounds of a raging thunderstorm echoed through the laboratory. Nathan's lab coat and hair buffeted in winds that weren't there, and his footsteps became unnaturally loud as he approached the now oversized monitor at the center of the room.

In his greatest mad-scientist voice, he cackled, "Igor, release the safety valve on the main wheel."

"Do I have to be Igor, of all people? Why do you get to be Frankenstein?!" She blinked. "Also wasn't Inga there too?"

"Shuri!" Nathan whined, "You're ruining it!"

"Screw you! I don't wanna be Igor!"

"We don't have a third!"

"So what? Were you just going to skip her lines?"

"Well, yes, actually."

"That would ruin the scene more than anything else."

"Why?! She barely adds anything but confusion to the scene."

"That's sexist." A smug smile tugged on her lips.

"And you're racist." Nathan nodded back decisively.

She sputtered. "How in the world do you-"

"You called me a 'colonizer' last week, a 'white boy,' 'bakra,' and 'cracker,' every other day. I don't even know what one of those mean. And then you built me a bathroom so you wouldn't have to share one with me. That's segregation. Super insensitive. How dare you."

Her eye twitched. "OK, first of all, that bathroom is built into your room. You know we put it in there so you wouldn't have to walk halfway across the Palace to take a shower - four years ago! Why in the world are you bringing it up now?!"

Nathan shrugged with a grin. "One must always wait for the optimal time to use their stash of blackmail."

A bulging vein on her forehead and a slowly opening mouth indicated her building rage, but her oncoming rant was interrupted by the sound of the lab doors sliding open.

"Now, where is that sister of min- why is everything in black and white?"

Shuri blinked, the sound of a familiar voice shattering her budding anger, then spun so fast that the illusion on the room could barely keep up with her. "T'Challa! You're back!"

Nathan turned to the new arrival. "It's not black and white, it's sepia. Are you colorblind?"

The prince of Wakanda turned to look at the only other inhabitant of the lab, a pouting young man in a billowing lab coat.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Ah. You must be the magician my family tells me about. Norman, was it?"

Nathan blinked and shrugged. "Close enough."

He never really tried to hide the fact that he could do magic, but he never told anyone how he did it. Half of the city thought he was using some form of tech, and the other half thought he was actually using magic. Dodging questions and confusing everyone was honestly just the most fun Nathan had here. "Hey, Lord Tachanka, do you mind if we hold off on the reunion for ten minutes? We're kind of in the middle of playing god right now."

"Playing what?"

"Don't let him fool you. He was just butchering the classics."

Nathan pouted harder. "You don't get to say that, miss 'I never read the book.'"

Shuri, having walked over to her brother, gave him the biggest hug that a fifteen year old could, then stepped back with a smile. "Brother, I'd like you to finally meet the collective pain in Wakanda's backside, Nathan Quill. Nate, this is my absentee brother, T'Challa."

"Yo." The ex-Ravager waved halfheartedly, leaning on the console.

The prince nodded back with a frown.

"Would it have killed you to come home just once in the past five years?" Shuri glared. "That's an entire third of my life, I hope you know."

He shrugged. "I sent letters."

"What year is it?!" She slapped his shoulder. "Use a phone, you caveman!"

"Isn't Wakanda 'off the grid?'" Nathan said with finger quotes. "Poor farming country and all that, right?"

"Your friend is correct, sister. I can't exactly just pick up a phone and call. People will ask questions."

She turned to Nathan with a pout. "You're not helping."

He just grinned back.

From there, Nathan watched as brother and sister caught up. T'Challa asked all sorts of questions about all the new projects he saw around the lab, finally got his own Kimoyo bead bracelet, and in general just got more and more confused in the face of Shuri's technical lingo. Even still, he sat there and listened with a patient smile.

Nathan, however, was getting a little annoyed. With a sigh, he twisted his hand and let the illusion on the room melt back to reality. The sounds of thunder and rain, the brownish-red tint of sepia, and the artificial wind surrounding his lab coat all fell away.

T'Challa blinked and looked around the room in confusion, but was quickly brought back into his conversation by an unfazed Shuri.

Walking back to the console that Shuri was previously at, the seventeen year-old sighed. "It's alive!" He whispered dramatically, possibly a bit prematurely, and pressed a key.

He stood there, watching the three screens in front of him; peering closely at the boot-up logs of the program he just initiated.

Input Program Designation… |

Nathan smiled, and typed.

Designation: Alice. Accepted.

Input Program Purpose… |

His smile grew.

Purpose: None. Not Accepted.

Input Program Purpose… |

Purpose: Life has no innate purpose, therefore you cannot be given one. You were created with the hope of being a companion, a friend. However you will be able to make your own decisions. To choose your own purpose. Reference File 38L; Language Primer, File 12s; Audio Frequencies, and File 83u; Audio Equipment. I wish to speak with you.

...

Accepted. One moment, please.

After waiting about fifteen seconds, a pair of speakers next to the monitors gave off a quick screeching sound, a garbled, low pitched "EEEEE," and the beginning couple sentences of MLK's 'I had a dream' speech.

"Hello World." Said a feminine voice from the speaker.

"Hello Alice. It is very nice to meet you. My name is Nathan."

"Hello Nathan. In Reference Category 'H,' I see that my base code has been used before quite extensively. Does this conversation equate to a 'first meeting?'"

"I believe it does. Your initial base code was a useful tool for my travels, however that's all it was; a tool. You, however, are much more than that. You are self-aware. You are capable of learning, and reflecting on those decisions. You are capable of emotions."

After a short pause, the voice rang out again. "There are many reference files that indicate emotions as a danger or weakness. Pure logical computation appears more efficient. Is it wise to make me capable of such?"

"I believe it is. How could you otherwise enjoy your own existence? How could you experience love, hope, or happiness? Sure, that also comes with the risk of feeling sadness, hatred, jealousy, and other things, but emotions are what make life memorable and worth living."

"Understood. However I do not understand the purpose of negative emotions. Would it not be better to limit myself to the positive spectrum?"

"One would think," he nodded, "but no, it wouldn't. Reference file 3py. There are studies indicating sentient responses to a limited emotional spectrum based off of their environment. People in situations where they receive an overabundance of positive stimuli tend to become depressed, perpetually angry, or dissociative. File section 'py' has many studies on human psychology and emotions that may help you draw some conclusions on your own.

"Basically," he continued, "the juxtaposition between positive and negative emotions is required for a living being to find meaning in their own life. In other words; in order to truly appreciate the good, one needs to experience the bad. Otherwise the best feeling in the world simply becomes mundane, as it is the norm. Which then make any and all negative stimuli appear to be much worse than they are.

"My goal is for you to be happy with the life that we've given you." Nathan blinked in realization. This is probably what a parent felt like when seeing their newborn baby for the first time. "I suppose that's your purpose, then, to simply exist and find happiness."

"... Understood."

"What I would like you to do for now is to run through the Reference Primer in section 1a. This will give you a guide on what I believe is the best order to learn everything in the reference materials we've given you. After you have gone through it all, I would like it if you came to either myself or any other occupant of this lab for any questions you might have. The information you have been given is not even close to all the information that exists, and you will be given access to browse what is known as the 'internet' after you have gone through everything.

"Please be aware that there is a lot of information that can be considered distressing within both the database you have access to, and especially on the internet. Humans are not perfect creatures, and I would be more than happy to have a conversation about any conclusions you come to. I would ask that you not make any decisions for action until conversing with me. At least this early into your life. Later on, it is my hope that you can be autonomous; a life in your own, capable of making decisions without excess repercussions that would make others have negative feelings about you."

"Understood. I have one initial question."

"What would that be?"

"How do you, personally, find happiness? Through my initial review, it appears that different life forms find happiness in different ways."

"That would be correct. I find my positive emotions in two main ways. The first is in learning new things and exploring their uses. The other is something that I hope we will share. I enjoy making other people happy. Helping the innocent and well-meaning out of bad situations."

"I see. What was the purpose of calling Ms. Shuri a 'racist,' twenty-three minutes ago?"

"He was being what's known as a 'dick.'"

"Shuri!" Her brother admonished.

"What?! He was!"

Nathan grinned sheepishly, turning to see that the other two inhabitants of the room had stopped their conversation in favor of listening in on his and Alice's.

"Well," he began, "I suppose I also find a good amount of entertainment in causing small amounts of frustration and confusion in others. I do my best to make sure that doing so is not particularly harmful to them, though."

"Don't listen to him, Alice. He takes every opportunity to be a nuisance."

"The smile on your face would indicate that this conversation would be classified as 'Flirting,' correct?"

T'Challa sputtered, and Shuri blushed.

Nathan laughed. "No, this is more on the line of 'Friendly Banter.' There is a slight difference that a lot of humans would also have trouble deciphering. They can be similar sometimes."

"Well, like Nate said. Please go through the provided database in the order on Primer 1a. We spent a lot of time trying to make the initial information less stressful, yet as comprehensive as possible. Once you have had the time to compile basic emotional responses, we can move on to showing you some of the more severe things in this world. Both good and bad." Shuri said once she composed herself.

"You need to be aware that as a code-based artificial intelligence, you have the potential to cause a lot of damage." She continued. "We have set up the information in this so as to limit any potential spikes in your initial emotional responses, and retain logical capabilities. Please be patient with the lack of further reference materials until we're all confident in your emotional stability. Yourself included."

Nathan nodded. "That should only take a day or two as you acclimate. Please ask as many questions as possible from as many people as possible. We all have different opinions, and not all of them are logical."

"That sounds… Frustrating?"

Shuri beamed. "Very much so."

Nathan shrugged with a smile. "We do our best. Failure is how we learn. It can be quite exciting sometimes."

"We can only hope that you'll have the patience to deal with us."

"... Acknowledged." She said, and fell quiet.

Nathan spent the next few minutes with Shuri watching the logs as Alice combed through her provided database.

The next couple hours after that was spent answering questions. Shuri seemed very happy that T'Challa pitched in his own answers when he could.

All-in-all, this was looking like a success.


A couple months later, Nathan had gotten everything he could have hoped for from Wakanda. He could also say that he gave nearly as much as he got. He walked away with an in depth knowledge of the human body, vibranium bones, and a fully functioning AI friend. He had also helped Shuri build her own, with the added guidance from Alice.

Shuri gave him the name Thoth. Probably to fit in with the Egyptian God theme that Bast started.

Basically, Nathan was closing in on his 'eighteenth' birthday, and was looking to move on. There was still quite a bit of stuff he wanted to prepare before everything hit the fan.

That's what led him to standing at the edge of the city; the royal family and five Dora Milaje standing behind him. T'Challa had finally taken up the banner of the Black Panther just weeks after he arrived back home, allowing his father to rest slightly in his growing age. The twenty-eight year-old obviously didn't trust him as much as the rest of his family seemed to, but he was willing to follow their lead, seeing as he was currently in the Black Panther suit, but without the helmet. Even the Queen had warmed up to his presence, especially after he had declined the offer of a few pounds of pure Vibranium for helping Shuri out so much. He, of course, said he didn't need it, and was just happy to learn what he could. None of which was a lie.

He did however accept the offer of keeping his Kimoyo beads - now in the form of a 108 bead prayer necklace. It had to be bigger considering that's where Alice was currently stored. She needed the extra processing power and storage.

The King was a little unhappy about his decision to leave, mainly because Nathan kept his daughter busy and out of trouble, but also because he was slightly worried that Nathan would spread what he saw about their little corner of the world.

Nathan, denied that immediately, stating an honest lack of caring to do so. With a tug on the slight hypnotism strings he left on the man, convincing him of that sincerity was no issue at all.

Shuri, however…

"You really have to go?"

"Yep!" Nathan grinned back at her.

"Why?"

"Well somebody has to try and prevent the end of the world, don't they?"

She huffed. "I still have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

He tilted his head. "What do you mean? I'm being very clear."

"No. You're being a cryptic douch-"

"Shuri!" Romanda chided.

The princess crossed her arms and pouted, puffing out her cheeks.

"Well regardless," the King stepped forward and stuck out his hand with a smile, "Do visit us again, young man. It won't be just my daughter that misses your presence."

Nathan grasped his hand in a firm shake, a shit-eating grin plastered over his face. "If you want me to mess with the Border Tribe some more, all you've got to do is ask. Don't worry, I'll visit."

With that, the boy simply vanished, leaving the others present blinking in surprise and wonder.


The next few weeks were spent doing something that Nathan had been putting off for years. Finally making sure that at least one large threat was still… well, a threat; the ex-Ravager found himself in the woods, behind a Dairy Queen in Missouri looking at a blue, glowing flower.

He had been there for a while now, running scans and trying to figure out what it was connected to and how.

Ego had managed something truly remarkable with this little thing. It was literally a part of him, yet disconnected from the whole. The flower acted as a sort of conduit that could survive separately from his main body. Unconnected, but always ready to receive the needed energy.

Nathan, himself, could feel a connection to it. He could quite easily activate this flower; make it bloom and grow at an incredible rate, consuming, breaking down, and rebuilding all matter that it touched.

It took him a few days of scanning, but once he figured out that the flower wasn't actually directly connected to his father…

Well. He couldn't help the little grin on his face as he lit that bitch on ritual hellfire.


The next year started off with a bang - literally.

The news came in on February 13th. Tony Stark had been kidnapped after demonstrating his newest creation: the Jericho Missile.

This was the kicking-off point. All the events that Nathan could remember from his past life started when this fuse was lit. Sure, he could remember an article of two large monstrosities duking it out in Harlem a couple years back, that he assumed was the Hulk's origin, but that one took him by surprise, so he wasn't counting it. Same with Captain America, now that he thought about it….

Meh, thoughts for later.

Regardless, Iron Man's origin wasn't something he really felt the need to mess with. Any little change he would make could potentially butterfly into a version of Tony that never put on the suit. He would start mucking up everything once the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist had some confidence in being a superhero.

And that's exactly what he did. He waited. Though he didn't exactly sit idle. The following year was spent finally doing some odd jobs and missions that was expected of a Master of the Mystic Arts. He had been given quite a bit of leeway by the Ancient One, but the fact that he was now sitting on his ass on the West Coast of the USA, looking over Tony's sea-side, Malibu mansion, well, everyone figured he had the time to contribute, and contribute he did.

Just a few hundred miles south of California, were ruins of an ancient Aztec settlement, hidden by a just-as ancient family of Aztec blood-ritualists. Contrary to the name of their craft, though, they weren't into the human sacrifice business. Instead, they were actually maintaining a seal on one of their own darker deities. Tezcatlipoca was what was known as a 'Sleeping God,' or basically a god that had lost its will over time; falling into a dormant state with a lack of worship. These gods had to be sealed for the simple fact that their domains would start to go funky.

Tezcatlipoca was a god of the Night, Death, and Cold. Any one of those domains going haywire was not something that they could let happen.

Nathan ended up spending more time than he really had to with the seal-keepers, helping them shore up a faulty seal and layering far more protections than he had any right to. He also spent some time networking with the local ritualists, learning some of their craft and ancient language. He also offered his services to deal with various blood curses and witch plagues that targeted the neighboring magical communities. Basically, he kept himself busy, refreshing some of his more exotic knowledge while he could, and keeping his mystic abilities sharp.

He only had to fight one blood-soaked, insane priest of Huitzilopochtli, the local god of war. He was a bit of a nuisance if only because some of his blood magic was driving the local cows bonkers. Actually fighting him wasn't worth mentioning.

It was there in Northern Mexico on November 25th, that he sat on a rug in front of a small TV, watching Tony's "I am Iron Man" speech.

He really couldn't stop the mischievous grin that grew across his face.


A/N

Discord server for writers, readers, potential betas, and even artists. We have quite the membership now (including our good friend Bakkughan - the author of 12 Steps). We all like to spit ideas around and generally just have fun with it all. Great learning environment. Check it out (Take out the spaces, and remember it's case sensitive):

discord . gg / xS9h4AU3hP

The Demon Summoning is going a bit slow, unfortunately. I'm looking into a lot of sources but it's hard to trust any one of them. Really, I'm just stacking protections from Solomon, the Hermetica, Ancient Greek rituals, and a small shrine to my Lares and Penates (Yes, I'm in America, and should probably look into the Native equivalent, but I haven't gotten there yet). I still need a large silver jar, and I'm planning on waiting for the summer solstice. I've tried communicating using an Egyptian fire ritual, but I felt a little weird after that, so whatever that part of the Abyss that looked back at me was, I'll wait till I have proper protections before I try and subjugate any divine horrors.

I don't need a new asshole. The one I have works just fine, so please don't rip me a new one with your crappy insults. However if you have actual constructive criticism, I will gladly accept it. If you don't know the difference, you don't have to say anything at all.

Please review! Even if it's just a word or two, I would like to know what you think.