MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I *WILL* RULE THE WORLD!  I ALREADY OWN THE MILLENNIUM ROD!  NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

Uh, yeah… ahem.  I'm just slightly hyper.  Sugar very yummy.

One more thing: slight Seto/Isis in this chapter.  I couldn't help it!  The opportunity was too perfect!

Disclaimer: …

Malik:  Well?  Aren't you going to say it?

Me:  …  FINE!  I GIVE UP!  I HAVE TO SAY IT!  I… I… YES!  I DO own Yu-Gi-Oh!  And the world for that matter!

Malik:  Um… I hate to tell you this, but April Fool's is over.

Me:  What?  Darn!  Fine, I'll tell the truth:  I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  In fact, all I own is a somewhat lousy deck, three posters, two video games, countless drawings, twenty story ideas, a Duelist Badge…  *rants on and on and on*

Malik:  Ignore her.  She's just insane right now.  Lack of things to do.

Oh, by the way… sorry that I haven't updated for this long.  Too many things to do.

~Notes~

"Regular talk"

/Ryou to someone/

//Bakura to someone//

\Yugi to someone\

\\Yami to someone\\

'Thoughts'

Millennium Item Mix-Up:  Chapter 3

The Most Powerful Spell in the World…  the Chicken Dance?

            Yugi sighed, doodling pictures of Duel Monsters all over his homework.  Bakura had spent all afternoon trying to get the Millennium Puzzle to find another Item, namely the Rod (A/N:  He won't find it!  I stole it! ^_~).  The ancient thief had wanted to show off his new powers to Malik, as well as his newly gained Millennium Tauk.  He had originally been mad when Isis gave Yugi her Item, but it was all for the best.

            Since he was now in the Puzzle, Bakura had gained the Pharaoh's powers, namely his luck at games.  Yami Bakura, the King of Games… it had a nice ring to it (no pun intended).  Unfortunately, the Puzzle couldn't sense other Millennium Items, but it had its advantages…  The tomb robber had originally thought that the points on the pyramid were for the same use as the Ring's points, but it wasn't so.  Oh well.  The Puzzle was still pointy, and if it came down to it, a potentially dangerous weapon.  Bakura had an obsession with sharp, pointy objects.  That was why he wanted the Millennium Rod, with its ability to turn into a knife.  The mind-control feature was an added bonus.

            When he had first emerged in Yugi's body, Bakura's looks had been no stranger than Yami Yugi's.  White, spiky hair (think Yugi's, only white)… brown eyes with an evil glint in them… almost one and a half feet taller than Yugi… and a single earring with a miniature knife on it, complete with a full wardrobe of black leather.  Add that to gold and silver Egyptian jewelry on his arms, a silver chain around his neck, and diamond-studded boots, and the total value exceeded five million dollars.  Of course, that wasn't counting the dagger by his side, with a handle of solid gold, set with rubies, emeralds, and just about every precious gem you could think of.  Nothing really common, of course, since only the best would satisfy Bakura.

            Yugi's deck was on the other side of his belt.  Speaking of his deck… the Dark Magician had mysteriously reappeared, a bit too late to beat Joey.  Bakura had gotten quite a laugh about that, recognizing the Ooguchi as Ryou's own.  Gotta love the heart of HIS cards.

            Yugi blinked, suddenly realizing that the sketch he had just finished was of the Change of Heart.  He reached for the phone, since Ryou had probably found out about the switch by now.  As nice as Yami was, sometimes he was a bit tedious (not to mention dangerous) to be around.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

            At the moment, Ryou, Isis, and Malik were finding the Pharaoh anything BUT tedious.  In fact, Yami had emerged from his soulroom in his false form and was currently ranting as he paced around the Ishtar' living room.

            "… and that blasted tomb robber is now in the Puzzle, and who knows what he might be doing to Yugi!"

            "Who knows, who cares?" muttered Yami Malik, who had only recently come out of his soulroom.  "What does it matter what happens to that shrimp?  All I care about is that Bakura now has the Tauk and Puzzle!"

            Isis sweatdropped as she watched Yami throttle her brother's dark side.  "That's the problem… but I agree.  Bakura

WILL want the Millennium Ring back, and we might be able to use that to our advantage."

            Ryou tore his eyes away from the fighting yamis, Yami Malik having escaped and now having the Pharaoh in a chokehold.  "How?" He gestured to the yamis.  "And won't someone stop them?"

            Malik glanced at the two, who were now in an all-out catfight.  "Nah.  Why bother?  They're both immortal anyway.  But what I think Isis has planned is this…"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

            "WHAT?" Bakura burst out.  "You expect me to do THAT?  You must be CRAZY!  Crazy insane, deranged, demented…"

            "Well, it's the only way."  Yami Malik snapped.  "Unless you don't want to get the Ring back?"

            After literally tearing Yami and Yami Malik apart (harder than it sounded, Malik actually had to tie up his yami with two-inch thick rope), the Ishtars and Ryou had headed over to the Game Shop, but not before shoving two sulking yamis into their soulrooms.  Amazing how quiet and angry a 5,000-year-old Pharaoh can get when you throw a couple insults at him, but after all, he IS stuck in the body of a teenager.

            Neither he nor Yami Malik had heard the plan, and Malik happened to have an idea.  A very strange idea, to be sure, but if it worked, he would get to laugh at Yami Yugi forever.  That, plus he had his camcorder, for a potential source of blackmail.  And since he didn't want to do it himself, he had rented a movie to show the 5,000-year-old spirits how to do…

            "The chicken dance." Malik announced.  Ryou shook his head in disbelief, and Isis had to stop herself from snickering.  This hadn't been exactly what she had in mind, but if the tomb robber would do it…  Isis gave in.  To see Bakura in this form, doing the chicken dance… it was too good to be true.  Might as well sit back and watch the show.

            The Pharaoh stared at Malik in disbelief.  "I remember no such thing.  There must be some mistake!"

            Malik glanced at his sister and grinned mischievously.  " 'I know your memories have faded, my Pharaoh,' " he mocked.   "Surely you can't remember everything?"

            "No, but…"

            "See?  I TOLD you!  This is the only way to switch you back."

            Bakura glanced at Yami.  "Oh, the poor Pharaoh is so sad.  He wants his old hikari back, but he doesn't want to do the spell.  Oh, what to do?"

            That did it.  "I KNOW what to do!  Don't patronize me, you stupid thief!  I'll do the spell!  At least YOU have to do it, too!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

            After several hours of "preparation" (and fighting and insult-trading between Yami and Bakura), Malik (and the camcorder) were finally ready.

            Fighting to keep a straight face, he glanced at both spirits and asked, "Are you ready?"

            Tomb robber and Pharaoh glared at each other, then nodded mutely.  "I can't believe I'm doing this," someone muttered.  Someone in the general direction of a person with multi-colored hair.

            "Then start the music!"  Still glaring at each other, Yami and Bakura started the chicken dance.

            "No, that's not good…  You have to do it perfectly, and at exactly the same time!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Three hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Wait, Yami messed up.  Try again!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Much later (we lost track after about five hours)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "I give up!"  Bakura screamed, stomping his foot.  "I refuse to suffer this indignity any longer!"

            "You've had your fun, brother," Isis remarked, glancing pointedly at Malik.  "Don't you think it's time we told them the real spell?"

            If looks could kill, the Egyptian boy would've been dead a hundred times over.  Yami Malik went into hysterics and his hikari grinned.  His camcorder had run out of tape two hours ago, but…  "Camcorder, $100.  Tape, $15.  Two yamis doing the chicken dance for at least ten hours straight…" he and his yami shared a look, then grinned.  "Priceless," they said in unison.

            Pharaoh and thief glanced at each other, and as one nodded.  As one, they advanced on Malik and his yami.  As one, they reached out, and as one, the Egyptians ran away.  As one, the spirits gave chase, and as one, they started cursing in every language they knew.

            Ryou stared at the four and sweatdropped.  "This might take a while…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A long time later (our watches broke while waiting)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Enough!"  Isis yelled.  "If you ever want to get back into your right Items, you have to promise to stop chasing my brother now!"

            After the yamis agreed (which ONLY took another half-hour), Isis explained the REAL spell.  Malik almost wished he had kept some space on his tape for this one powerful piece of magic.  But the setup?

            "Almost as funny as the chicken dance," Yugi choked out.  Yami stood; his hair gelled up into its previous spikes.  Ryou had to go to the nearest store and buy all their supply of hair gel, which amounted to thirty tubes, not nearly enough.  Malik went to another store and got twenty MORE tubes, barely enough to hold Yami's hair in spikes.  Needless to say, the Pharaoh wasn't pleased.

            And what of Bakura?  A lot of water and EVEN MORE hair gel kept his new spikes down.  Sitting on the ground, the thief was wearing rainbow-colored robes and complaining.

            "Why does that blasted Pharaoh get to wear black leather?  I'm stuck in this stupid thing!" he complained, plucking at a green sleeve.
            Isis slapped his hand.  "Stop it.  They'll disappear when you switch and you'll take on your hikari's clothes.  Besides, it won't work if you aren't wearing the right things."

            Bakura glared at his aibou.  "I wouldn't go back if the Puzzle could find other Items.  Remember that, runt."

            Wait a minute…  How DID Yami end up with black leather?

            It was actually paid for by Seto Kaiba.  The price?  Three rematches, ten booster packs, and a deal Mokuba made with Isis: if his brother asked, Isis had to go on a date with him.  They had accepted, Isis not exactly angry.

            "You know that Mokuba could get Seto to do practically anything?"  Malik muttered to his sister.  "If he wants you two together…"

            "I know," Isis replied, in a strange mood.  Malik frowned.  If he didn't know better, he'd have thought she sounded somewhat… pleased?

            "Can we start the spell now?"  Yami Yugi asked.  "As much fun as it is to see him wearing that…"  He jerked his thumb towards Bakura.

            What happened next, no one could really recall later.  The Pharaoh, hop-skipping on one foot in a circle…  the tomb raider, dancing and singing in a very off-key voice…  a bright flash of light, white and red and black and yellow with touches of violet and brown…

            And suddenly both yamis were back in their soulrooms in their own Millennium Items, Yami almost wondering whether all of it was a dream (key word: ALMOST).

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

            After that little adventure, things went back to normal for a few weeks, or about as normal as it ever gets for Yugi and co.  True to his word, Yami left off chasing Malik.  But as we all know well by now, Bakura NEVER keeps his promises…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

            "Malik, meet Mr. Cliff.  Mr. Cliff, meet Malik.  I'm sure you'll be best friends."

            Malik's wrists were tied behind his back, and his legs were tied together too.  He was hanging upside-down from a handy branch over the afore-mentioned landmark.  He glared at Bakura.  "You're insane."

            The spirit grinned sadistically.  "You should learn more about Mr. Cliff.  You see, he is very emotional, and very DEEP.  He has a QUICK-MOVING CURRENT of emotions…"

            Malik groaned.  "Oh, Ra…"

            "Sometimes, he is very STONY and ROUGH…"

THE END! (for now…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For now… *snicker snicker* 

The chicken dance thing was slightly random.  It was done when I was REALLY bored and hyper.  And I had the "Mr. Cliff" thing planned before I even started this chapter.  It was actually my favorite part of the whole fic!

As always, please review, and no flames!