Disclaimers: The show and its characters are NOT mine.
Spoilers: The Finger
I awake to find Grissom sitting up with his face buried in
his hands. This isn't the first time I've found him
this way in the middle of the night. He's been plagued
with this nightmare for some time now. He won't tell
me exactly how long it's been or what it is exactly. I do know it has something
to do with the Roy Logan case from a year back. I wish I could do something. I
wish I could promise him that the nightmare will ever come back but I can't. It will. It does. It haunts him everytime
he closes his eyes. He doesn't say it but I can tell
by the way his body tenses. He's afraid to sleep but
sometimes exhaustion gets the best of him and he is forced to face a horror that
only he knows of. I reach out to touch him. I make sure to be gentle, not
wanting to aggravate him anymore than he already was. "Grissom?"
I say softly.
He brings his face out from his hands and turns slightly to look at me. He smiles, trying silently to assure me that he's alright. But I know him better than that.
"Is it the nightmare again?" I ask even though I know the answer already.
He nods, still in silence.
My heart breaks for him. Yours would too if you saw the terror in his eyes. Here was a man who was never afraid of anything. No criminal was evil enough to intimidate him from a case. And yet now, it is a *dream* that threatens to tear him apart. "I'm sorry..." I apologize. I feel compelled to. It is *my* fault that this nightmare exists. If only I hadn't fallen for Roy Logan's scheme...
He smiles again, a little more reassuringly this time. I am comforted slightly by the return of his strength. Not knowing what else to say, I lean my head on his shoulder and run my hand up and down his back. He won't say it but I know he is afraid to sleep again. A comfortable silence engulfs us when he suddenly tilts his head so that he could look at me. I peer up at him to see a shy smile on his face. Though he doesn't voice his feelings, I know he's saying 'thank you'. "You know I'll always be by your side, Gil." I reassure him.
We stay this way until dawn. Awake and unwilling to let go of each other. I can't protect him from his nightmare every night but at least tonight, I can be his shield.