Thanks for all the reviews, they really really matters a lot, especially to newbie writers like me. Ares041, thanks for being one of my many inspirations for writing a Re:Zero fanfic. "ekaterina016" thanks a lot, for being the best editor out there and helping me polish my fiction to its finest. Please keep on reading and reviewing, and PM me if you don't understand something and/or want to tell me your ideas on how should the story forward. Sorry for boring you with this blabbering and all, please enjoy the story.
Something lurks within my soul
A discomforting itch, my eternal torture
Memories stolen by time
Will it ever be redefined?
Tumbling and twisting in her bed, Ram woke up with beads sweats flowing down her head. Blinking away her bleariness, she observed her surroundings under a pounding headache, not helped at all by the dim moonlight shining through her window. The chandelier, the mahogany desk, this cozy mattress… they all felt so very familiar, but whatever her subconsciousness was trying to tell her was soon fogged by her own thoughts .
'Where am I? What's this place?'
The pink-haired girl could vaguely remember the events which transpired before her eyes when she was in the forest. The boy with three horns… 'Who was he?' She pondered. Her naked feet touched the cold ground, sending shivers to the rest of her body. A cupboard, with a mirror mounted in front, showed her reflection, and she couldn't help but notice her appearance had changed so significantly.
Her cold eyes, strong enough to cut rocks, or the stiff and stoic posture, the poster image of a proper maid, were all gone. What's displayed in the mirror was just a frightened lamb, afraid of the world, as it lost its mother in the middle of a bestial forest, an embodiment of purity and innocence. Ram stood, shuffling closer to the mirror and touched the alien reflection…
She turned towards the door to see a blue haired girl, a spitting image to herself, but with much bigger breasts, rushed towards her, arms open and ready for an embrace. However, Ram's hands sharply blocked Rem and ran to the bed, covering herself with the blankets.
"Who are you?!" From the shadows of the blankets, a pair of distrustful pink eyes glares at their blue counterpart, shaking in fear and wariness.
"Nē-sama…" With tearful eyes, Rem killed the ray of hope in her heart, which was still wishing Ram's memory would've returned by now. "Do you not remember me, Rem, your sister?"
"Sister?" They did look identical, but… "I don't remember having a sister!"
"But… Nē-sama …" Rem asked, "So what do you remember about yourself?" She was clever enough to sense that any more pressing on that topic would only make matters worse.
"I-I… Ugh! That's the point! I can't remember a damn thing about myself! It's like I never existed!" Ram was frustrated. "My head hurts so much, like it's going to blow up. I have these fragments playing in my mind whenever I see something or someone, but I can't make a head or tail of it all!"
Rem could see Ram was the verge of tears. However, she took solace in the fact her sister didn't reject her outright, and was speaking and looking at her directly. 'I shouldn't pester her any further. She's about to break down anytime now.' So, reluctantly, she bade Ram farewell. "Goodnight, then, Onē-chan…"
Once Rem made her way out of the room, Ram curled further into the blanket and sheet, craving the warmth protecting her from the strange coldness. It certainly wasn't the weather or the malfunctioning heater; the self –numbing loneliness was biting her down to her very bone.
Subaru shot awake, though his usual rouse from the bed with only his upper torso was halted due to the muscle pain wrecking both his body and mind. Still bleary, he tried clenching and unclenching his fingers, still recalling the sensation of having so much power coursing through his veins from…
'Wait… What time is it?'
The only reply he received was a sobering silence, plus the cold-inducing chilly winds of Irlam Village. Sensing his still-unrecovered exhaustion, he tried to sleep again and closed his eyes. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the chain reactions of several fiery red clusters colliding with his gate, as his Od was transforming itself, causing his restlessness.
Roswall was brooding over something in his study room, sitting with a tense look framing his face. 'I have gone through every book and document I had about the creatures of this land. But even after the combined efforts of Beatrice and mine, we weren't able to figure out Subaru's other personality true form, or even its source; there is absolutely no reference of any kind to any three horned creatures. On the other hand, the research to bring back Ram's memories also proved to be futile. She have to regain her memory or else…'
Uncharacteristically, Roswall's face was dominated with fear, but not because he cared for Ram – well, that was one of the reasons, and a vague one at that – but there was a far more sinister need for it.
The kind which could bring about the end of the world.
After last night's debacle, Ram woke up rather early, despite her physical and mental exhaustion. The morning sun bathed her creamy white skin, as she winced to the infinitely stronger light, compared to last night's full moon. Groggily, she walked towards the door, her lethargy made her forget she's still clad in her translucent nightgown, though the muscle memory ingrained in her retained her grace while walking.
Just in time, then, for her to collide with Subaru right outside her door, forehead to forehead.
The boy was clearly still engrossed in thought, his sleep failing to banish his worry.
""OWWW!"" Simultaneously, the two jumped away from each other, rubbing their reddened foreheads.
Subaru was the first to react, having realized who the other party was. "S-Sorry!" He bowed politely, as if a small child who had accidentally bumped into a lion.
"N-No!" Ram hurriedly replied, bowing in return. "The fault equally lies with me! I was in the way… You're simply thinking about something deep enough and failed to see me."
'R-Ram… was apologizing to me?!'
Subaru was staring hard at her, gauging her from top to bottom. Suddenly, he formed a fist on his right hand and slapped it into the palm of his left one. "You can't be Ram!"
"If you were real Ram, you would have tried to chop off my head right then, yelling things like, "What's the use of such a head which couldn't fathom a graceful lady coming from other direction?!""
"Was… Was the Ram you know really such a cruel and full-of-herself kind of person?"
His question was interrupted when a pair of inhumanly strong arms yanked him towards the kitchen, revealing themselves to belong to Rem. "Sorry, Nē-sama, I need Subaru-kun in the kitchen. Pardon us." Giving off a quick but polite bow, Rem furiously dragged the poor boy behind her.
"O-Oi! W-Wait, Rem!" Struggling, Subaru yelled loudly, to no avail. Despite his recent progress, he was still no match for her physical prowess, and Rem paid him no heed.
"Should I help? Yesterday, I saw a maid's dress in my closet. That means I was a maid too, right?"
Rem cut her off. "No, Nē-Sama. You're still confused and weak, so let Subaru and me handle the chores for today."
Subaru protested quite callously, "But she is always slacking off, anyway! And why is she talking in such a weird manner?! Has she hit her head, or…"
Before he could finish, Rem roughly covered Subaru's mouth, giving off a apologetic and sheepish grin to Ram, and dragged him into the kitchen. Fortunately, Ram was distracted by the view of the beautiful lawn to the side through the windows, and didn't seem to mind his comments.
"Puha!" Subaru gulped down large breaths of air soon after they arrived in the kitchen. Rem's monstrous strength had almost chocked him to death.
"Sorry, Subaru-kun, but that was necessary."
"What the heck, Rem?!" Subaru was angry, frustration clearly showed on his face "What was that all about?!"
It took Rem quite some time to explain everything clearly to Subaru, as his mind wasn't able to digest all the things at once. She omitted the fact was about his three-horned personality, though; one, because she lacked Roswaal's knowledge and authority on the matter, and two, because she didn't want to know how he would take it if he knew there's a second evil personality inside him.
"So, Subaru-kun, could you stay by Nē-sama's side and take care of her for some time? Rem has to make breakfast, and although I like the things you make, but your food's is still not good enough to be served to everyone here, or they will suffer from stomachache, okay?"
"T-The last line was unnecessary, Rem-chan…" Subaru grumbled quietly to avoid hurting her feelings, and left the kitchen while frowning. Come to think of it, she's such a sweet girl, the total opposite of her sister, as shown by the sheer devotion needed to eat and finish his failure of a ramen without complaining.
But, somehow, his mind began to look for Ram on its own, and saw her standing by the fountain and glaring at it.
'She's glaring at it like a child… That's so cute…!'
Ram was busy admiring the beautiful dance patterns the fountain's water was making.
Carefully, Subaru approached her. "Hello there, Ram. Beautiful view, isn't it?"
Ram was fidgeting. "H-Hello…" However hard she tried, she couldn't remember his name. 'T-That's impolite of me…!'
"Subaru," he said extending his hand. "Subaru Natsuki."
Having heard of Ram's current condition, or the barebones of it, at least, Subaru tactfully introduced himself in reserve. There's little incentive for him to act like how he usually was around her, i.e. a jackass and his retainer, or even as a familiar acquaintance.
"It's a beautiful view, Subaru-sama," she politely talked, eerily like a scare-dy cat.
"Pfft!" Despite reminding himself of her amnesia, he couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud. "Ahahaha!" Holding his stomach, he thought, 'S-Sama! She called me frickin' 'Sama'!'
"It's rude to laugh at someone's comment like that!" Ram pouted, clearly not appreciating his humor.
"S-Sorry… It's rare to see someone so usually and casually cruel with her words talking to me with respect… Ram."
"Ugh…" Ram shuddered. "It seems I was a horrible person before. I apologize for any misdeeds against you, Subaru-sama."
Without warning, her eyes saddened. Lightly panicking, Subaru hurriedly interrupts. "Sorry, Ram! It's just that… I still can't believe I am having these normal talks with you. Because… the previous Ram hated and treated me like I am some pest. In jest, jest, you know! That's our thing!"
"Why would someone hate you? You seem to be a good person."
"Bu… B-Bufu… Bfhaaa… AHAHAHAHAAA!"
This time, Subaru managed to laugh himself into a curling position on the ground, pounding the paved lawn around him to suppress his voice, to no avail. Seeing Ram so innocent – and very cute – was incredibly hilarious.
Then, not missing a beat, a sharp stomp speared into his foot, courtesy of the pouting Ram.
"You explained it well. I guess this was one of the reasons that she hated you."
Despite the pain, Subaru eyes were transfixed on her. He had never saw her like this… so open and more delightful than the cold-hearted snob she was before. Cruelly, somewhere in his heart, he prayed she would always stay like this. As to what happened to her memories… if the loss did make her a better person, then…
Darkly, he comments in-between fits of laughter, "Although I would try to my best to cure your amnesia, but I'm starting to like this Ram more and more. She is way too cute!"
Ram's face turned red, full of embarrassment, and she started to storm away, flustered. "Stop teasing me! Another reason to hate you!"
Subaru began to chase after her, not realizing with every step he made, his heart began to beat to a different tune.
One of a person in love.