AN: Wow, I've finally updated... heh gomen it took so long! -_-; I was going to put it up yesterday after my history teacher stood my class up, but I had other things I had to take care of, so I'm updating now! And hopefully there won't be any more delays as long as this one ^-^
Translations: Sou dayo! - Of course!
Ohayo - Good morning
Yosh' - Great, Alright
Posted: June 05, 2003

Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions
Part Seven

Shuichi awoke feeling strangely excited and jumped out of bed with a grin, heading to take a shower before grabbing a quick breakfast. He hummed to himself as he went to check in on Yuki, tilting his head in curiosity as he found the study empty. A quick search of the rest of the apartment found the author nowhere to be found. With a small frown, he picked up his bag and headed to pick up Hiro. It wasn't unlike Yuki to disappear early in the morning; sometimes he had to meet with his publisher or something else to do with his work, so Shuichi shrugged it off.

He sang loudly as he hurried down the street, mindless of the people who stared at him as he passed. The weather was relatively nice, it being February, but there was a slight chill in the air that said it might snow soon. He grinned to himself; he loved snow, so he was hoping his instincts were right.

When he got to his destination, he knocked on the door loudly. "HI~RO~!" he called when the door wasn't opened immediately. After a few more moments of waiting impatiently, he began tapping on it incessantly, creating his own beat as he hummed along. He jumped in surprise when the door was jerked open and he came face to face with an exasperated and sleepy looking Hiro.

"Na Hiro, you don't look too well..."

"I know for a fact you don't look any better when you wake up," was the mumbled reply, as the redhead stepped out of the way and motioned him in with a yawn.

Shuichi stuck out his tongue in reply as he entered and glanced at the clock. "It's already ten, what are you doing still in bed?" He grinned mischievously a moment later.

"I was tired," the red head said, cutting the boy off with a roll of his eyes since he knew perfectly well what Shuichi was planning on saying. He would rather not have to deal with suggestions about his sex life at the moment. He gave a small shrug when the smaller boy frowned slightly in concern. "The doctor said it would be expected for about a week. I'll go get dressed and then we can leave, ne?"

"Ha~i!" Shuichi called after his friend's retreating form. He flopped down on the bed, a huge grin forming on his face as he remembered the night before.

Hiro smirked when he came back in to find his friend daydreaming. "You look happy."

Shuichi sat up and grinned at him. "Sou dayo! Today's going to be good, I can feel it!"

The red haired boy shook his head with a smile as he turned to grab a breakfast bar and his guitar case. "Ready?" he asked.


He raised an eyebrow with a quiet snicker at that statement. Shuichi stopped and looked up at him curiously, before he blushed bright red and hurried out the door. Hiro laughed and grabbed his keys as he followed.

"So, have you heard from Ayaka-chan?" questioned Shuichi once they were on their way.

"Aa... she called the other morning..."

"...You remember her?"

He sighed. "No... But we're going to meet when she gets back from visiting a relative."

Shuichi grinned. "Well, that's good!"


He gave a sly grin and elbowed the taller boy. "Ne~, Hiro, have anything special planned out?"

"No, I don't." was the reply, as Hiro swapped his arm away with a mild glare that was ruined by the light blush on his face. Shuichi laughed lightly and put his hands behind his head. Hiro shook his head and pulled out his bar to eat, drifting into silence for the rest of the walk.

They arrived at the studio and Shuichi led the way to the same practise room he had taken Hiro to the last time. Since it was Sunday, the place seemed to be almost deserted. "Ohayo!" called the pink haired boy as he opened the door, sighing quietly in relief and walking in when no gun presented itself in greeting. He glanced around the room and found Suguru was already there, playing bits and pieces of a song on his synthesiser. "Ne, Fujisaki, where is everyone?" he asked, setting his bag down.

Suguru glanced up and gave a brief nod of greeting. "Nakano-san went to get a drink, and I haven't seen Mr. K."

"Ah." Shuichi stretched and ran over to grab the mic. "Ne, ne, let's do Predilection!" he cried.

"Shuichi, that's a Nittle Grasper song..." said Hiro.


"I thought we were supposed to be playing our songs?"

"But since you have amnesia, I thought we could practise songs you knew!"

"We can practise Rage Beat," interjected Suguru.


"When we went to the park, I subconsciously started playing it," answered Hiro with a shrug.

Shuichi blinked at him before he grinned. "So you do remember things! Even if you don't remember that you do!"

Hiro paused, trying to make sense of his friend's words. He nodded slowly. "Sure," he finally said, shaking his head slightly with a small grin as he set his case down and took out his guitar. He sat in a chair, quickly tightening the strings into tune with practised ease before glancing up. "All set."

Suguru nodded, hitting a few buttons on his keyboard to change the settings before playing the opening to Rage Beat.

Hiro closed his eyes and concentrated on the music, waiting for his cue. Even though he wasn't sure what it was, he was confident he would know when he heard it. Sure enough, a few moments later his fingers started moving as if by their own accord, joining in perfectly with the synthesiser. He faintly heard Shuichi join in with the vocals and listened with half an ear to the somewhat familiar words.

He became so absorbed in the music he didn't even notice when the door opened and two figures stepped in quietly. He let the rhythm pull him deeper into the music, letting it absorb and control him instead of the other way around. He loved the feeling of losing himself in the melody of a song, being able to forget about everything except the composition and underlying feelings of it.

All too soon the music ended and he was forced back into the real world; only to open his eyes and find the eye of a gun staring him in the face. He started and leaned back in his chair to look up at K. "Umm, something wrong?" he asked with a sweat-drop.

K gave a laugh before he pulled the gun back and put it in its holster. "Not at all! Good to see you haven't lost your touch for the guitar."

"It's good to have you back, Nakano-kun!" cried Sakano, somehow managing to wring his hands together and not spill his drink.

Hiro nodded at him in acknowledgment. "It's good to be back," he replied.

"It's also good that you have such a talent for guitar and are able to pick up on the songs so quickly," said K, crossing his arms with a somewhat smug look on his face.

"Eh, why is that?" questioned Shuichi. He knew that face; it usually meant something very good or very, very bad.

"Bad Luck has a concert coming up," was the simple reply.

"Hontou? When?" he asked, getting excited.


"Saturday?!" cried Sakano. "But-but that means we've got less than a week!"

"Not this Saturday, next week, which gives you about a week and a half to get Hiro up to date on the songs," corrected K. The producer gave an audible sigh of relief and sank to the floor with a quiet thud. K ignored him and glanced over to Hiro. "Think you can handle that?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really."

Hiro shrugged, wincing slightly when his shoulder protested the move. "Then I guess I can."

"Good answer!" replied K, glancing at his watch. "See if you can remember Blind Game Again."

"Hai!" cried Shuichi, spinning around the mic like it was a pole. "Come on, let's sing!"

"Hai, hai," replied Suguru, changing his settings again with an almost-smile on his face. He glanced over to Hiro. "Since we start at almost the same time, I'll play the opening in a loop until you join in," he said. When Hiro nodded he turned back to the keys and began playing, going through the intro twice before he heard the guitar join in. He went through it again before moving onto the main part of the song, relieved when Hiro seemed to be picking it up, or at least able to improvise the few times he missed a note.

Hiro relaxed into the music and gave a slight smile when the solo came up, it being his favorite part of any song since it was the one part that was fully his - and Suguru's, as the case may be. He felt like he was improvising most of the song though, especially the solo, but when it ended K had a satisfied look on his face.

"Good job, good job! Go through it a few more times and then you all can leave."

"Ha~i!" called Shuichi. He was almost dancing in place and had a huge grin on his face, happy that Hiro was remembering so much, even if it was just subconsciously.

Suguru pointed out the parts that Hiro had missed the first time through and showed him the right notes to play. The next time through went almost perfectly, Hiro only stumbling in a couple of places. By the time they were done Hiro was sure he would be playing it in his sleep. He sat back in the chair with a sigh, rubbing lightly at his shoulder before putting away his guitar.

"See you tomorrow," called Suguru over his shoulder as he headed out the door.

"Bye, Fujisaki!" Shuichi replied, waving at the boy's retreating form before bouncing over to Hiro with a grin.

"What?" questioned Hiro when Shuichi didn't say anything.

The pink haired boy continued to grin at him before he shrugged. "I'm glad that you remembered that's all."

"It's only subconsciously," he replied, standing up and heading for the door with the shorter boy behind him.

"Yeah, but that's still a good sign, right? Ne, are you hungry?" he asked.

"Aren't you eager to get home to Yuki-san?"

"Yeah, but I doubt he's back yet. He was gone when I woke up this morning..."

Hiro glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you worried?"

"No... I just wish he'd tell me things..."

"Maybe he's scared to," he replied, leading the way to a small outdoor sushi place since the weather was warm enough.


He shrugged in response to that eloquent question. "You said he wasn't a very social person. Maybe there's a reason for it."

The shorter boy bit his lip lightly as they continued on their way. There was a reason he could think of, but surely Yuki knew he wasn't even close to being like the real Yuki Eiri; he would never take advantage of Yuki like that sick monster had. All he wanted was for Yuki to be able to open up to him more. Maybe he was being selfish, but he couldn't help it; and if he had already made as much progress as he had, surely he was close to his goal.

Shuichi clenched his fist. "Yosh'!" All I have to do is keep doing what I have been! he thought.

Hiro raised an eyebrow in amusement as he sat down and ordered. "What are you mumbling about?"

Shuichi laughed and ordered as well, sitting next to him. "Just making a decision," he replied.

"I see."

Their food came and they drifted into silence to eat.

"Ne, Hiro..."


"Do you think... you have to know everything about a person before you can truly love them?" Shuichi asked quietly, poking at the remainder of his food with a somewhat distant look in his eyes.

Hiro briefly glanced at the shorter boy. "Not necessarily..." he answered slowly. "I think that if you're in love with someone, you try to find out all about them because you love them... Just because you don't know everything about someone doesn't mean you don't truly know their heart..."

"Yeah, but..."

He reached over to rest a hand on his friend's pink head. "Shu-i-chi. If you're worried about your relationship, just look at how long you've been together. From what I know of Yuki-san, he doesn't seem like the type to stay around someone he doesn't like..."

"H-hai... But sometimes... I feel like he truly hates me..." replied Shuichi, laying his head on his crossed arms.

"Maybe he was just annoyed at you for pushing too hard..."

"Maybe..." He sighed quietly and went silent for a few moments. "He's too complicated..."

Hiro smirked. "If that were true you wouldn't have stayed with him for so long."

Shuichi laughed sheepishly. "I guess that's true."

"I know it's true."

Shuichi smiled and stood up to stretch. "Thanks," he said, pulling out his wallet to set down money for his share. "I'll pick you up tomorrow for practise, ne?" he asked, waving as he walked backwards down the street.

"Hai, see you tomorrow then," Hiro called, waving back.

Shuichi turned around and headed towards the apartment at a leisurely walk, his hands behind his head and his bag thrown over a shoulder as he hummed quietly to himself. He passed a store with a birthday display in the window, complete with a few wrapped boxes, a cake, and balloons. He paused and tilted his head slightly and grinned; he knew Yuki's birthday was coming up soon and now he had an idea of what to do for him.

He headed into the store for a look around, emerging half an hour later with a sack full of cake ingredients, a couple of tubes of coloured icing, and some streamers. Even though he most likely couldn't cook to save his life, he wasn't half-bad at making sweets.

When he finally made it to the apartment, the sky was already getting dark with the approaching evening. He opened the door and kicked off his shoes, setting his bag down before quietly making his way to the kitchen to hide the sack of supplies in an empty drawer. Having accomplished that, he made a quick search around the place and found that Yuki wasn't back yet. With a quiet sigh he went to change, grabbing a blanket and a notebook on his way to curl up on the couch. He flipped on the TV, tossing the book on the table in case he got lyric ideas, and settled in to watch some movies. It wasn't long before he was asleep.

I lean against the back of the elevator and close my eyes with a sigh. For some reason, spending time with Touma and Mika always leaves me feeling drained... I should know by now that they can only cause me headaches; which is why I went to the park to calm down for a while. If I had been smart, I would have refused, but after last night, I wasn't exactly thinking when Mika called me this morning. That little idiot is talented at doing that to me...

Even so, I can't rightly blame him that I was stuck with them for most of the day, trying to convince me I "wasn't living a healthy life." Screw them. I don't understand why they can't just accept that I'm happy.

I pause. Am I happy? Looking back, I would have to say I'm happier, anyway... I think I've finally gotten over the past... or I'm at least in the process of moving on... and it's all thanks to that pink haired brat.

The doors open and I step out of the elevator, walking down the short hallway as I pull out my key. The first thing I notice when I open the door is a strange glow from the living room. I frown slightly as I glance at my watch. It's well past one in the morning. Walking into the living room, I can't help but snicker quietly even as a smile briefly crosses my lips. Shuichi's curled up on the couch with a blanket around him and the lights off. Apparently he fell asleep while watching TV.

I turn off the television before kneeling down in front of the sleeping baka. Reaching out, I rest my hand on the side of his head and he sighs quietly, leaning into the touch. I resist the urge to pull away and instead move my thumb to brush his bangs back, marveling at his captivating, almost childlike features. He really is still a child in heart, and sometimes in his mind as well. I snicker at that thought, but I know I wouldn't give him up for the world.

He murmurs my name, his voice heavy with sleep, and I feel a tug on my heart. "What have you done to me?" I ask quietly, half hoping for an answer; I really wish I knew. I'm not naïve or dumb enough to believe he truly loves me; love is something only found in books and dreams. A part of me wants to believe in that dream though, but I know as soon as I let myself, he'll disappear, one way or another... But whatever this is, it's something I could get used to.

I feel like I'm drowning, or that my heart is about to shatter, but the feeling is addictive. Even though I try to push him away, I know he'll always return... and I'm more than happy to welcome him back. It's confusing... He's confusing, and he causes more than a few headaches... but I don't think I want to go back to how it was before, when I was just existing; I actually feel alive now... I wish I could thank him, but I can barely admit it all to myself. Three words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can't get them past my throat, so I settle for a gentle kiss instead.

His eyes blink open as he murmurs my name again, and something else that sounds an awful lot like "I love you."

"Baka," I mutter, glancing away. I see him give a small smile out of the corner of my eye before closing his eyes again. With a quiet sigh I turn back and pick him up to carry him into my room, gently laying him down on the bed. He wraps himself around me, like he always does, when I lie down next to him, and I can't help but smile a little at the sigh of contentment that comes from him.

Leaning down, I brush my lips over his in a feather light kiss. No matter how many times I push him away, I'll always keep drawing him back. "I love you, too, Shuichi," I murmur quietly, and I swear a smile touches his lips. Letting myself actually admit it, it seems right... No matter how hard I push, I know I'll always keep coming back, too.

Just like a moth to a flame.