i own nothing.

In a Realm far beyond what he is known too sat a Mad God. "Boring. Boring. Boring. Boring!" He said to himself in almost a chant as he looked through other realms far beyond his own."Same stories different ways to tell them that's all these are!" He said as he looked through the stars into a sea of other realities. Windows that let him see the past future, and all that there was in between the dawn of time and end of eternity. He looked through them as if he were looking for something interesting on Cable television. "Of everything that could be done its always Good guys win, bad guys lose. Its mind numbingly repetitive I'll tell you what!" The god of Madness said, and almost as if the universe decided to prove him wrong he found a new reality that caught his eye.

Watching the events of it unfold though left a sour taste on his eyes. "Well that's not exactly what I had expected to see." the insane god said rubbing his eyes as if trying to clean them "Ugh, I don't think anyone should feel clean after seeing something like this. I know I don't. Or do I? I'm not quite sure but I know one thing. I'm not a fan of how easily the King of Rape won. No mountains of bodies, no rivers of blood, but an ocean of semen. Wars are meant to be long and bloody and satisfying! The one he waged was short, slimy and left me remarkably unsatisfied!" Ranted the patron god of cheese. He put a hand to his chin in thought for a moment before snapping his fingers with an idea "I've got an idea! I'll put a good little warrior in there! Someone who can really drag out the war into a good long and bloody one like it should be!" He said with a smile before a frown found his face "Oh wait. If I threw him there then odds are he would win the war before it even really started." He says sadly to himself.

He grabbed a Wheel of cheese and took a slice out of it "Idea's are hard. Maybe some cheese can help me get an idea." He said before tossing the slice away and studying the Wheel itself "Cheese tell me your secrets, share your dairy wisdom with me." He said rotating it around a bit. He stopped when it became aligned with another slice of Cheese. As if it were a message from the god of Destiny himself the mad god smiled wickedly. " THAT'S IT CHEESE! FROM HENCH FORTH YOU SHALL BE THE CHEESE OF NOT SO GREAT IDEAS!" The insane god crackled like a hyena. "I wonder if Hermy still has that body somewhere." The god of insanity wondered idly as he vanished from his realm.

Only to return with a Skeleton. "Hey Mirri, hope you don't mind but I need your body. Not in the Sexual way. I prefer people with a bit more meat." The God of Madness said dropping the skeleton on the ground, but removing the head "To be, or not to be? That is the question." The mad god quoted before tossing the head somewhere idly. He looked down at the skeleton, with a finger tapping his chin. "Oh! Right! You need a head! Be right back!" The mad god said vanishing for a moment and coming back with a very bloody skull "I hope you don't mind, but I'm pretty use you'll thank me after I send you to your new home." He said as he put the skull on the spine. "Now, where am I going to get a Dragon Soul? Oh wait a moment! Dragons aren't extinct anymore! Perfect!" He said before vanishing once again and reappearing with a flame in his hand. "Here we are then. Go to your new home you flying lizard." The god said pointing at the skeleton on the ground.

The soul entered the pile of bones, giving the skeleton flesh once more, as if burning in reverse. Organs were recreated, meat and flesh was covering the sticks of calcium. As skin finished forming on the body, the patron god of whatever looked the body up and down "Excellent! What else do I need to do?" He asked himself "Sheo! You're forgetting to give him clothes you unhinged Coot!" He replied to himself "Ah! You're absolutely right Gorath!" The crazed god said and with a snap of his fingers a set of ancient Robes materialized on his body in an instant. "Anything else?" He asked himself again, but shook his own head at his question "Nope, Go ahead and send him on his way." The mad god replied to himself. The god of madness smiled giddily as he sent the "Hero" he just created to go and try to "save" the the world he stumbled upon.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I shouted as my eyes burst open. The fuck just happened to me?! Last thing I remember was playing skyrim, something Purple and Orange, then Watching My BODY hit the ground!

I feel myself all over, my body or more specifically my collar. A bit of my panic began to subside when I felt all around my neck. Good I've still got my head. "Oh thank god." I said to myself in relief before I began to gain awareness of my surroundings. I looked around a bit, and saw that I was in some kind of marsh? I think that's the right term for it. Its either a marsh or a swamp… or a bog. Whatever its wet and a bit cold. Its a far cry from the desert I live in. oh yeah, that reminds me.

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!" I shouted to the air, half expecting an answer, but knowing I won't get one. I also take this opportunity to become aware that I'm not wearing my usual red shirt and jeans combo. I'm in a Red version of Mirrak's robes! "

And just like that the panic returns! Oh boy I missed you for a grand total of five seconds! A quick scan of my area tells me that there are no roads anywhere. Just a thick swamp as far as the eye can see. Though in truth the eye can't see far, but that's not the point. I was That tells me that I must have been dragged out here, but why? Why drag me to the middle of a swamp? Unless they expect Shrek to have finished the job for them.

"Who in Gurgs swamp?!" Asked a very… fat, low voice.

I freeze for a moment. I had never heard a voice I that could be described as disgusting until now. I turned to look at whatever spoke and saw a fat, dirt skinned thing standing about thirty feet away from me. It had boils in various spots on its body, that were accompanied by warts and fungus just on random spots of its repulsive hide "Ugh, god damn." I said to myself as I began pinching my nose in disgust of the oder it gave off. "Jesus what pile of shit birthed you?" I asked waving my hand in front of my nose in a vain attempt to get rid of the smell.

"What stupid man say to Gurg?!" The big bastard asked as it tried to furrow eyebrows that long since abandoned his face.

I was about to reply to the big blob of stink, but bit my tongue in restraint. Might be best not to piss off the gargantuan fat fuck. "I asked where I am." I lied "I was wondering if the Great Gurg could tell me."

The lumbering mountain stared at me before laughing like a… well, like the disgusting monster it is. "Lost wanderer means free food." It said as it began licking its disgusting lips, and giving me a view of its tongue. The sight of that thing nearly made me retch. It grabbed a club from its waist and began running at me. The intent to bludgeon me to death was apparent.

It began running through the muck to reach me, but the dumb brute failed to realize that the muck put him at a severe disadvantage. He had to make a considerable amount of effort to raise his foot in and out of the slime he put himself in.

While he tried to cross the muck I calmly navigated myself around the filth, "Where the stupid man going?!" It asked as I began walking to where it came from. I didn't give it a reply, instead focusing on putting some distance between me and that disgusting thing.

As I try finding a way out of this Swamp, I ought to start thinking about my current situation, now that the initial panic has worn off.

Okay, so first things first. I'm dressed up as a pallet swapped Mirrak, excluding the mask. But why? Why am I dressed like Mirrak of all people? Whoever took me from my home took my clothes too, which is a bit confusing. If you're going to strip me, why give me a cosplayers passion project? And why is it red? It just doesn't make sense. But I am glad that these robes are pretty comfy to wear, and warm too. Like clothes fresh from the Dryer.

Aside from the clothes, why put me in a swamp? Did they expect discount shrek to kill me? Or did they just leave me to die? Why not kill me themselves? I know I should be thankful to just be alive but I just can't make sense of the reasoning, if any.

Speaking of the Fungal Fuck, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT THING!? It was bigger than anyone I've ever seen! Was it some kind of mythical creature like the Sasquatch? Or just a real fucked up and deformed human? It also wanted to eat me. EAT me! Did whoever abduct me offer me to that thing as a sacrifice?! Or did I just happen to meet the inspiration for Fat Bastard?!

Thinking about, this entire situation is kinda fuckey. I was playing Skyrim in my room, guy appears, everything goes black, then i wake up in a swamp, dressed like Mirrak, met the ugliest looking thing I've ever seen and am now trying to navigate out of a swamp.

How did everything change so god damn fast?

I walk for an uncertain amount of time. I'd tell you how long I thought I walked, but I can't even see the sun through these clouds. There are no shadows, I can't even tell if its morning or evening right now! Anyways I walked until I found Shrek's hut. How do I know its his? Above the door it says in big red letters "Gurgs Hut. Keep out, unless Gurg". Yeah something tells me this guy ain't the brightest bulb in the box if you know what I mean.

Stalking up to the window, I peek inside. I don't see much, a bed… I think? A pot, a few candles, a dead mule, a chest, and a woman tied to the wall.

…

…Wait, what?!

I do a double take and yeah, there is a girl tied to the wall with ropes! Light skin, brown hair, her eyes were… lifeless. She looked like she was dead, her head hanging limply to the side, resting on her forearm, bruises and scratches were all over her body. She looked like she had been through hell. Unfortunately there was one more detail that made my heart freeze for a moment.

Her belly was swollen, not with fat. But with a child.

Saving her, or at least trying to is a bad idea. That Ogre could be back any minute now, and if he catches me inside then there isn't any room to maneuver. Even if I got her out where would I even take her? I'm not exactly good at navigating myself right now. But even then, does that give me the right to just abandon this girl?

No. No it doesn't. So with what courage I could muster up I entered the mud hut as quietly as I could and closing the door behind me. When I entered I found my nose and almost every sense assaulted by a foul smell! It smelt like 'd need a knife to cut her down with. The big bastard must have one in here right? I begin scrounging around for a knife of some kind. I look in the pot, only to find a white, slimey liquid. Was this that creatures attempt at soup or something? Whatever it was it was most definitely the source of the grotesque oder.

I inspect the dead mule and nope, no knives. As a matter of fact it looks like he was tearing it apart with his hands to eat. I'm just glad I've managed to avoid being put on the menu because that seems like an absolutely horrific way to die.

The next thing I began looking through was the Chest, and become quite pleasantly surprised. In the chest there is a bag of gold coins, (Who the hell uses gold coins?) A Sword, (Who the fuck uses a Sword?) A satchel, and a Map. Sweet.

I put the map and coin bag into the Satchel and arm myself with the sword. The sword felt lighter in my hand than expected, like a toy lightsaber I used to fight my brothers with back when we were kids. Anyways with my slightly bigger knife I approach the girl on the wall and begin patting her face in an attempt to get her attention.

She only glances at me before saying "Kill me." She said quietly.

"What?" I asked in an equally quiet voice "I'm not going to do that." I said as I raised the sword to cut her hands free

"Please sir, if you have any mercy, you'll kill me before I can give birth to its child" she said in an almost dead tone.

Give birth to its child? "I'm not going to-" I started to say before she interrupted me

"I'm already dying sir." She said as she looked down at her gut with teary eyes "A monsters seed grows in my womb. Soon, I'll loose my mind and I'll just be another brood mother for these beasts." She said before raising her head to look me in the eyes. "The kindest fate you can offer me… is making sure I die while I am still me." She tells me. The instant our eyes meet, I can see it clearly. Her fear. Fear of being just another tool for that thing.

I look at her with a certain degree of disbelief, "Isn't there anything else? Maybe an abortion?" I offer as I raise the sword to cut the rope holding her to the wall again. There has to be something that can be done right?

She gives me a strange look "There is nothing to do now Stranger. If you had found me before its Seed infected me, then maybe. But I'm afraid that isn't the case anymore. Please, I beg of you. Kill me, while I am still Me." She begged.

I… I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her, but right now I didn't know how. Her eyes were pleading with mine. Begging me to commit an act that I am unprepared to do.

"Knight lady! Gurg home!" Came the voice of the disgusting mound of flesh itself as it came inside.

Mine and its eyes connected for a Moment as it took in the situation, and a previously calm expression turned furious as the beast rushed forth and grabbed me by the shoulders, and with a mighty toss threw me completely out of the hut. Not through the door mind you, I left through the wall.

I rolled on the ground for a few feet, momentarily stunned by the fact that I had just been thrown hard enough to destroy a dirt wall and was surprisingly no worse for wear. I shook myself back to focus and looked back at the hut where the Ogre was inspecting the woman "He no touch you right?" It asked, when she didn't say anything it got even more angered and delivered a hard backhand.

After I watched it strike her I found myself shouting "HEY!" At the creature, grabbing its attention. It turned to me slowly, as if insulted that I dare address it. "If you want to hit someone, then hit me. Unlike her, I'll hit back." I said adjusting my grip on my new sword. Is this a bad idea? Yeah, but I can't just let him do that without even trying to do something. Besides, if I don't kill it now, odds are its going to keep hunting me until I'm out of this swamp.

The ogre marches over to me far faster than I thought it would however. I tried to hit it with a quick swing of the sword, but it grabbed the blade and simply began staring at me.

It was at this moment that I knew; I fucked up.

It ripped the sword from my hands and picked me up by my arm. It began chuckling in its disgusting voice before throwing me with far more force than before at a tree.

When my back smashed into the tree II thought it would've hurt more to be honest. Don't get me wrong it hurt, but not enough to put me out. I pulled myself up from the dirt, or at least I tried to before that monster grabbed my leg and hoisted me up to its face "Stupid Human think he can tell Gurg what to do?!" It asked before slamming me into the ground, like one would do to a sack of potatoes.

After getting tired of that he threw me again, this time I crashed back into the hut. And unlike when I hit the tree, I actually lost the will to move again.

It began coming closer and closer, grabbing its club from the ground and raising it above its own head to beat me to death with.

Was this the end?

Was I really about to die to an Ogre in a Swamp?

Speak the Words…

…

…What?…

…

You know them,

You've used them.

…

…Who…?

…

And now, you must Shout.

Show this creature the Might of your Thu'um

I summoned up all the strength I had left in my body and Shouted as loud as I could muster and in a voice akin to thunder I yelled out loud

"FUS RO DAH!"

The three words of power had a number of effects.

The creatures of the swamp all began running in terror at the Shout, seeking shelter as though the thunderous noise they herad was the precursor to a deadly storm.

The Ogre found himself blasted off of his feet and flying through the air as if he were hit by some great, unrelenting force. Its club flew from his hands as though it was trying to return to a home in the sky while Its head collided with a rock as it landed, its skull broken and shattered as it painted the stone red with its gnarly life fluids.

The woman's restraints found themselves useless as the hut shook viloently enough to force the nail holding her restraints free from the wall. She dropped unceremoniously to the ground as she found herself free for the first time in go only knows how many months.

As my strength left my body she crawled next to me and looked at me with an expression of both shock and awe "What was that?" She asked before I found myself too tired to even answer.

everything began going black as I felt my eyelids found themselves far too heavy to remain open any longer.

Elsewhere

Within the Dark Citidel sat a Beautiful Dark Elf, her eyes were focused on the magical artifact in front of her.

The Artifact showed her the encampment of Humans just outside their borders, .

"So, they've finally gotten the nerve to attack my home directly." She said to herself. One finger tapped the arm of her chair as she crossed her legs. Her mind was swimming with thoughts, how could she repel these invaders? Her forces were already being denied enough to start getting rowdy. She could hardly tell them where to go, what village to attack, or even tell them to curb their own lust.

The thought of being defeated had crossed her mind, that these Black Dogs might actually claim victory over her went from a mindless fantasy, to a very real possibility. "My Queen, The Orcs are ready and awaiting for these Invaders. Do you have any other orders for our remaining forces?" Her Right Hand asked as she came into the Throne Room and knelt in front of the Dark Elf Queen.

The Queen of the Dark Citidel shook her head "No Chloe, all of our pieces have been put into play. Gather up the Servants and leave with them for Sanctuary. I will not put our people, or you in harms way if I can avoid it." The Dark Queen said to the younger Dark Elf.

Chloe's face changed from one that was calm to rebellious, "Lady Olga, I will not leave you here to face these Humans alone! I will send the Servants home, but I will not abandon you here!" The Right hand of the Queen protested against the order

Olga's voice changed from calm and serene to serious and commanding "This is not up for Debate. You leave with the rest of our people tonight, before the attack. Am I understood?"

"But-!" Chloe started to say, only for her voice to Die as Olga slammed the bottom of her staff into the ground

"NO!" The Dark Queen shouted, before allowing her voice to change to one almost motherly, calm and caring "I don't want to risk losing you. You are the Closest thing I have to a daughter…" Olga said tenderly "If I lost you… I don't know what I'd do." She said rubbing the younger Dark Elf's head "…Please Chloe…" Olga asked softly.

Chloe's mouth opened to speak, but before she could a shout more akin to a Roar echoed from the Magical artifact

"FUS RO DAH!"

Both the Queen and her Right hand turned to the magical looking glass, and watched as the men of the camp scrambled for the source of the noise.

Olga started to use the magical device to follow the Humans to the source of the thunderous Shout. Expecting a beast of great power.

Only to be left confused. The men had stopped in an Ogre's Swamp, only to find a ogre with its head split open and slumped against a stone, a pregnant Human Woman, and a young man wearing a strange set of robes, unlike any she had seen in all her long 800 years. Was this the source of that powerful voice? Or had that being ran away before the humans arrived? Olga wasn't sure, but she did know one thing.

That was the ancient language of the great dragons.

The immortal rulers of the skies,

"What was that?" Chloe asked as she turned back to her queen, who sat there silent in her own thoughts.

The Queen of the Dark Elves remained quiet, her mind trying to come up with a reason that the long dead language of Dragons has found its way back to the present after being lost in the oceans of history from a time so long ago that it predates even herself. Unfortunately only one reason came to mind, and it was one that terrified her. "Chloe, Get everyone to Sanctuary. Now." Olga said as she began erecting a magical barrier around her fortress.

"My Queen, what is wrong? I don't understand." The younger dark elf said nervously, she had never seen her benefactor act like this before. Were those three words really so terrifying?

Olga cast the Barrier, but after it was cast she fell forward. Thankfully her right hand had reacted quick enough to catch her before she found herself on the ground "Thank you Chloe," she said before forcing herself back to her feet, leaning on her staff as a crutch "I believe that we are in far more danger than what I initially thought." The dark queen cast her ward a looklook "Those words we had heard… It is the language of the Dragons."

Chloe raised an eyebrow "But I thought that the Dragons were extinct?"

The Dark Queen nodded "Yes, that is correct. Or at least partially. At the dawn of creation, when the First Goddess was but a mere slave to the Black Beast, Dragons were the defenders of the world. It is said that upon seeing the injustices of a world without Love, Life, and Hope that they saw fit to tear the Black beast apart with fangs, claws, and their most powerful weapon: Their voice." The dark queen stated standing up straight, "Their combined voices tore it apart into the creatures you see under my banner: Imps, Orcs, Ogres, and all other manner of monster known to us. But their victory came at the cost of their kind. And the Goddess saw fit to honor their sacrifice by filling the world with all kinds of mortal creatures. The race of Men, Elves, Halflings, were born of her desire to honor her saviors." She continued "After their creation, she guided them, protected them, and near the end of her first life she had one vision. That the Black Beast would rereemerge someday, and when that day comes it will restore the status quo."

Chloe looked confused "What does ancient history have to do with The Dragons Language? And why it scares you?"

The dark queen returned to her throne "Why else would Dragons return, if our 'Father' hasn't returned as well?" She asked the younger dark elf whose eyes began to widen in realization.

When I opened my eyes, I was actually a bit surprised.

I hadn't expected to open them again to be honest, not with how horrid I felt when I fell asleep.

From what I could see, I was in a Tent. It was a shitty tent, but hey a right improvement over the last time I closed my eyes.

My body felt sore, but besides that it was okay. And considering the fact that an abomination against nature was using me to violently beat the ground into submission I'm not going to complain.

Oh yeah, before I forget

WHAT?! THE?! FUCK?!

I Shouted! I don't mean I yelled real loud, I mean my voice threw a guy thirty feet into the fucking air like he weighed almost nothing!

I'd have chalked it up to coincidence if I didn't remember doing it!

"Oh, you're awake." Came a voice from the entrance of the tent. I lifted my head up a bit to see them, propping myself up on my arms. They guy in the tent looked… vaguely familiar. I can't quite put my finger on it though. He had a pair of circular glasses, brown hair, wearing a big ass cloak and gives off vibes that he is a know it all. "How're you feeling friend?" He asked taking a seat next to the sleeping bag I'm currently inside.

I clear my throat and answer "I've been better, but I can move. Thats probably the most important thing." I say, before he opens a book and begins flipping through the pages as though he's trying to find something specific

"Any pain? Soreness? Or otherwise inconvenient issues?" He asks flipping through his book.

"I'm only sore, it'll pass. Who are you anyways? And where am I?" I asked before trying to sit up, only for this guy to push me back down onto my back with one hand

"Easy, just relax and I'll have you right as rain in no time, just let me find the right spell." Spell? "And as for your other two questions, my name is Kin, and you are safe in our company's camp." He said before continuing through his book

I wanted to ask about what he meant by 'spell' but a far more important question rose to mind much faster "Wait! What about that woman I found?! Did you find her too?!" I asked urgently, to which Kin didn't even bother looking at me before answering

"She's fine. Boss sent her and a small squad of guys to Ken. The Church of the Goddess can help her recover from that traumatic ordeal. She'll be just fine." He said as if conversing about the weather. I know I hadn't known her long, but its still nice to know that she'll be okay. Kin stopped turning through his book and began quietly muttering a few words before a mysterious golden glow came out of his hands and enveloping my body.

It felt like a warm blanket after a cold day. When the glow faded away my body felt as right as rain "What was that?" I asked in amazement, feeling myself all over. But in doing so brought another interesting development to my attention.

Everything about me was like improved to a ridiculous degree! Last I remember I was a god damn twig! A skeleton wearing a tight fitting skin suit! Now I've got developed muscles, and I mean developed! I mean I've got a body close to Captain Americas! Now I'm not exactly upset over that but how the living fuck did I get this?!

"Magic." Kin replied to my question simply, and the fact that he was so nonchalant about the fact that he did me no favors as I just sat there in bewilderment that the soreness in my body isis gone without a trace, as though it were never there to begin with! Kin closed the book and passed me the red robes I was wearing before. "Now come on, Boss wants to see you." The mage said before departing from the tent

"Boss?" I asked confused. Why would they want to see me?

Kin didn't reply to my question before he left. So here I was dressing in strange robes in a strange camp, rescued by fucking Harry Potters cousin, after just Shouting at an Ogre hard enough to send it flying.

I've got a hunch I'm not in Kansas anymore.

I can't afford to dwell on it, not right now. Apparently the wizard wants me to meet their boss, and I don't think I can keep them waiting. So I get dressed, and leave the tent.

And my eyes confirm that I am indeed, NOT in Kansas anymore.

The Sky is dark, and I don't mean like night time I mean dark clouds hover above the sky but no rain, not even a single break in the clouds to let the sun peak through. And the Land itself showed that face. It was dry, dead land. The only thing that could be seen were the rocks that decorated the ground. The only plant life were in the marsh near camp. You could see the line where it ended and this… this… wasteland began. I could see a massive jagged spire stick from the ground a distance away. It looked as though its very tip was trying to reach the clouds, for a chance to see the sun.

This land was void of any natural life.

It was… sad.

"First time seeing the badlands Pup?" Asked a deep voice to my side. The man was large. Larger than anyone I had ever seen in my life with a sword just as large strapped to his back. Christ, what did anyone need a sword that big for?! Decapitating giants?! His outfit was black and red, and hr had a singular black and red Shoulder pad, with a Sword and Dogs head emblem painted on. And unfortunately

I RECOGNIZE HIM!

This man, no this monster in humans skin was Vault, Leader of the Black Dog Mercenaries, Emperor of the Black Dog Sex Empire… and the 'Protagonist' of an nsfw piece of media.

"What's wrong pup? Cat got your tongue?" He asked, but I was still in a stunned silence as my head was trying to process this information.

I was in Kuroinu…

I was in Kuroinu…

I AM IN KUROINU!

I began breathing faster and faster. Inwardly I began panicking, no scratch that I fucking AM panicking!

my breath gets a bit faster and I begin unconsciously shivering in silent terror.

This son of a bitch is probably the single most scummy piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of discovering in my entire life. From what I know he is, or was, a hero of some renown. And he stabbed the people he fought for in the back and then fucked the hole! He takes everything from the women of this god forsaken rock and leaves them as more objects than people, he even gives those beasts that live here free reign over whatever the fuck they want.

He is a bastard, in every meaning of the word.

And it seems to be my unfortunate fate to be here.

…

WHY THE FUCKING HELL AM I EVEN HERE?!

I don't understand! Did I get teleported here from somewhere?!

Why do I have the Voice?!

Why am I wearing Mirraks robes?!

WHY AM I IN A CONVERSATION WITH A FICTIONAL HENTAI CHARACTER?!

"Hey. I'm talking to you." Vault said, clearly a bit agitated from my silence.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and said "Um, yeah… first time." I said looking away and back out to the wastelands… wait a minute, if we're in a camp outside that fortress, then he must not have taken it over yet right? Otherwise he just decided to camp like a good few miles away from his house… palace… fort… whatever.

"I can tell, you look like a Goblin in the middle of a Shield Fortress." He said before approaching me and looking at the massive spire "The name is Vault, you?"

Ah fuck. Do I use my name? Or come up with some fantasy sounding shit like 'Frodo' or 'Ragnaar'? You know what to hell with it, not like they could track down where I'm from with just my name "I'm… James Hind." I tell him, but refuse to look at him.

"Well met then James." He lied, it was a convincing lie, but a lie none the less. Hell if I didn't already know what kind of treacherous snake this guy was I might have actually believed he meant what he said. "Unfortunately we don't have time for small talk. So I am going to cut straight to the point; Because of you, I'm down a few men. I sent a few good guys to get that Lady to Ken, and seeing as how neither of you had the money to pay us to do that I've come up with a different way for you to repay me."

A new feeling of dread began to rise in my stomach "I don't think i like where this conversation is going." I said simply.

"The way I see it, James, you help me take that fort and help us achieve Victory for all Eostia and bring abot a better world." he said leaving out the part where he uses its Monster Army to rape the world into subjugation.

"Or…?" I asked expecting a threat of death or something if I refuse.

"Oh, I amsorry i didn't realize I posed it in the form of a choice. You are helping. I'm down four good bodies getting that lady you were with somewhere safe, so you are fighting." Why am I being roped into this?! "If you die, then you'll have paid your debt in blood. If you live then I'll consider your debt paid. but only if we win, if we both lose and still draw breath than I'll gut you myself." Son of a bitch.

"Son of a bitch" I say to myself, unfortunately not quiet enough judging from the low chuckle he gave me

"Don't worry, we got a plan. Just do your part and everybody should be able to go home satisfied. Hell, you do well enough then I might even offer you a place in the Pack. Sound fair?"

"Yeah… Fair." I said sullenly. I just got fucking conscripted into a mother fucking siege on a fortress because of something I wasn't even conscious for!

Vault pats my shoulder "Good. Get some rest and get yourself fed. We attack at dawn." Wait what?!

"But i-I don't even know how to use a sword!" I protest, They want to send somebody with the combat ability of a potato on a fucking Seige?!

The Merc leader shrugs at me "Just swing like your life depends on it, and hit them till they die." I could only gawk, are you fucking serious?! "Just kidding, just stick to the plan and you should be fine Pup." He said before walking away.

…

What

…

THE

…

FUCK

…

JUST

…

HAPPENED?!

…

Am I dreaming?!

Is this real?!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!

I WAS ONLY PLAYING SKYRIM!

GOD GIVE ME ANSWERS!

And end.

Well fuck me this is a mistake.

Hey guys, so this is a new fic and the first one I've done in a while.

Review, fav, follow, and all that stuff.

Go ahead and ask me question, point out inconsistencies and grammes issues please.

God forgive me, for this train wreck.

If you have information on the villains of this series could you please tell me? I know the basics but I figure other people could help me fill in the blanks, you know?

And yeah, this fic is kinda a hot mess. But its my first time writing in a while. If you think you can do better than by all means go ahead.

Give me feedback please. It helps keep me motivated.