Title: The Morality of Eating Chocolate Bunnies and Other Things
Author E-mail: AmethystJackson@hotmail.com
Category: Humor, Romance
Keywords: Harry, Hermione, Easter, chocolate bunnies
Summary: Harry and Hermione debate the moral issues of eating chocolate bunnies.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Note: It all started one evening on AIM, talking to Aileen. I realized that my WW date fell on Easter, and from that, I jumped to this. And I didn't have time to edit it, so please point out any errors you find.
Volume 674, Issue No. 1
Week of April 20, 2003
This is Amethyst speaking, and I would like to say that I am very sick of the veiled insults that the editors keep leaving here. My rabid plot bunnies are nobody's business but mine. And speaking of rabid plot bunnies, this week we've got chocolate bunnies. Do enjoy, and please remember, just because it's chocolate doesn't make you any less guilty!
The Morality of Eating Chocolate Bunnies and Other Things
"I can't eat it," Harry announced, holding up a boxed chocolate bunny. Hermione glanced over at him, frowning.
"Why not? It's not real."
"But it hops, Hermione," Harry argued, carefully opening the box. "That gives it a certain amount of realism." Harry took the chocolate rabbit out and held it in his hand. It hopped up and down, as if jump-roping.
"Honestly, Harry, it's chocolate and hollow. It is not a real bunny," Hermione responded with exasperation.
"But it's staring at me!" Harry said, and indeed, it was.
"It's a spell, Harry. Chocolate frogs do it, too."
Harry shook his head as the bunny hopped off his hand and onto the table. "How do I know it wasn't a real bunny, transfigured to be chocolate? What if I'm eating a real bunny?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "They don't sell transfigured bunnies. It's illegal under the Animal Rights Code of 1892."
"What if these manufacturers are breaking the law? How do you know they're following that code?" Harry asked, almost hysterical.
"Well, problem solved," Hermione said, gesturing to the table. "It's gone and hopped off and now you don't have a bunny to eat. It's probably going to get too close to the fire and melt."
Harry looked sad. "Poor bunny. I'd rather be eaten."
Hermione sighed slightly and produced a box from beside her chair. Upon careful inspection, Harry realized it was another chocolate rabbit, perhaps a distant cousin to his own. She pulled it out of the box and it hopped good-naturedly on her hand. Carefully, she broke off an ear and handed it to Harry.
"It's Easter. The whole point is to eat chocolate," she said, forcing the ear into his hand. Harry glanced over at the one-eared rabbit. It didn't seem to be in any pain. Offering Hermione a small smile, he obediently ate the chocolate.
Hermione shrieked, and Harry abruptly stopped chewing. "Harry!" she cried, "the poor bunny's in pain! How could you do such a thing?"
Harry froze, but one look at the rabbit made it quite apparent that it was still as happy as ever. Hermione giggled, and Harry narrowed his eyes at her, though he couldn't understand why he had never noticed how cute she was when she laughed before. Grabbing the nearest pillow, he quickly launched his attack, a few feathers flying after the impact. Hermione dropped the bunny - it hopped off somewhere, probably to the other missing rabbit, now with no ears - and, to Harry's great surprise, tackled him. A second later he found himself flat on his back, Hermione pinning him to the ground.
It wasn't until he looked up at Hermione, her entire face glowing with mirth, that he realized just how much they were in need of laughter. There hadn't been much over the past year.
Ron had died at the beginning of their seventh year, the latest victim of Voldemort's second reign. His absence and the guilt loomed over Harry, constantly on his shoulder. Smiles were rare; laughter was all but extinct. Harry didn't let anyone in, and after a long week of how-are-you's and I'm-sorry-for-your-loss's, they stopped approaching him. He had even tried shutting Hermione out. Anything, anything at all to keep her safe from Ron's fate… But she wouldn't let him, and they lived their lives solemnly, staying away from everyone but each other.
The pain lessened as the months went by, but it never went away. Something had changed, however. Harry looked up at Hermione, firelight bouncing off her hair in strands of gold, her eyes dancing with the first bit of happiness they had known since October, and it was as if everything was as it used to be.
"Harry?" he heard her say, breaking through the thoughts swimming in his head. He offered her a smile, marveling at how beautiful she had suddenly become. "You're thinking about Ron, aren't you?" she murmured, the smile fading from her eyes and then her mouth.
Harry nodded slightly, disappointed with himself for letting their moment end. He wanted to hear her laugh again.
"We can't live letting his memory haunt us," she whispered, crawling off of him. She sat beside him, hugging her knees to her chest. "I don't think he would want it this way. He would want us to laugh, to be happy. He would want us to forget."
Would he want me to fall in love with you?
Hermione suddenly paled. "Did you just say you were falling in love with me?"
"Oh, fuck," Harry murmured. How could he have said that out loud? Of all the thoughts that Hermione didn't need to hear…
"Harry, answer me. Is that what you said?"
"I suppose you wouldn't agree to forget I ever said that?" Harry asked, unable to meet her wide brown eyes. She shook her head, and Harry sighed, resigned to the inevitable. Hermione would lie and say they could still be friends, even though she would kindly tell him that she didn't feel the same way, she would gradually stop speaking to him, and then Harry would be all alone, unless Ron's ghost came back to haunt him for it…because he was falling for her. There was no denying it.
"Yes," he told her, "I am. And don't pretend that everything can stay the same, because we both know it can't. I didn't want to tell you; I can't lose you, Hermione…"
"Well, you're right, Harry," she said, looking down at her hands. She had lovely hands. "It can't stay the same. We can't be friends anymore."
"What?" he breathed, mouth going dry. Even with all his worries, he had never actually expected her to say something like that. A small part of him believed that he could still save himself.
"How can we possibly stay friends when all I want right now is for you to kiss me?"
"You…what?" Harry managed, flabbergasted. "You mean you…"
"I mean, Harry, that I'm falling in love with you, too. And therefore, it would be entirely foolish for us to remain friends, when we could be so much more," she said, reaching out for his hand. He gave it to her, marveling at how much smaller her hand looked when it was in his own.
"You're evil, you know."
"You're cute when you're confused."
He smiled at her. "Do you still want me to kiss you?"
"Of course," she replied. It didn't take him long at all to comply with her wishes. He pulled her down to him, kissing her softly until that wasn't enough, and then his tongue darted out against her lip. She allowed him to explore her mouth, returning the favor in kind.
"We should have stopped being friends a long time ago," Harry muttered when they finally broke apart. She nodded her agreement, face flushed. She crawled into his arms, and he was happy to hold her.
Harry smiled, knowing that Hermione had brought him back to life. She had saved him.
A/N: I wrote something Easter-y. Even has a resurrection/salvation theme, though I suppose it's a bit sacrilegious when Hermione's playing the role of Jesus… In any case, it's Easter-y, so Happy Easter, and no chocolate bunnies were harmed in the making of this fic.