A/N-All right, sorry it's been so long since I updated. A lot has been going on. School ended, I'm now officially a senior. Though I'm on summer vacation, I have a lot of AP work to do. Unfortunately my senior year won't be filled with fluff classes. My birthday was July 12th so I'm 17 now, which means I've been working on this story for about 3 years and you can tell my writing has improved a lot. I've been wanting to update this story, but I just haven't had any motivation or inspiration, and not writing was making me miserable. Surprisingly, whoever asked if I was an asshole in their review inspired me to write because yeah...I'm not an asshole, I don't enjoy making people wait. I'm guessing you've just hopped on my bandwagon because reviewers who have been with me since the beginning know my updating habits; I don't update too often. Even though I seem to lack a life, I'm busy with schoolwork and seeing my boyfriend. Yes, yes I'm back to being bisexual, but my boyfriend is the only guy I'll probably ever be with. I'm still not a big fan of males hehe. So don't think that's ruined my inspiration for this story. I will forever be a girl/girl lover since I've been involved with my share of girls and find shoujo-ai relationships beautiful.
Mrrow...enough rambling, on to the story! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, but I do own some new piercings...and a car now! YAY!
Bra nearly broke her front door down as she stormed into her house. She had taken another way home to avoid seeing her–Pan.
Just thinking about her made Bra so angry now. It seemed like all Pan had been doing lately was ruining Bra's life. She almost cost her friends and a nasty reputation, she cost her a possible boyfriend and a ride home, plus future rides back and forth to school.
"Hi honey!" Bulma said cheerfully as Bra continued to stomp her way through the house. "Hold on a minute!"
Bra froze in mid-stomp. She didn't want to be bothered right now, especially by her mother, who was known for being nosey. "What?" Bra snapped at her mother.
"What's wrong?" Bulma frowned at her daughter's bad mood. She seemed so cheerful this morning. Did something happen with that boy?
"Nothing is wrong, everything is perfect, absolutely perfect," Bra said through clenched teeth, not bothering to act as if everything was perfect like she said.
Bulma sighed at Bra's obvious sarcasm. "Sit down and talk to me, please?" Bulma walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.
Bra sighed and complied with her mother's wishes. Maybe it would help to be able to get her feelings out to someone who wouldn't judge her like her friends.
"Now what's bothering you?"
Bra sighed. Where would she begin? "Mom, have you ever had feelings for a friend?"
"Of course, darling." Bulma was unsure of where her daughter was going with this.
"But I mean...have you ever had feelings for someone you shouldn't have feelings for?" Bra noticed that confusion was written all over her mother's face. "Ok let's say Trunks liked Goten...as more than a friend..."
"Trunks isn't gay, Bra."
"I know, but I'm using him as an example."
Bra fidgeted in her seat as she looked at her mother's face, which now showed a look of disgust. Her mom was one of them? She was going to act just like Aki and Suzume? Bra didn't want to continue this discussion. Bra had always thought her mother was completely understanding, but now Bulma was being ignorant. Then again, she had been acting like that too.
"I don't want to talk anymore," Bra said with her eyes focused on the floor.
"Bra, you are not leaving until you tell me what's going on."
Bra stayed glued to her seat. Her mom was using her stern tone, which meant Bra wasn't going anywhere anytime soon unless she opened her mouth and spilled her guts. "I've been having dreams about..." Bra started pealing nail polish off her nails. She couldn't say this, but she had to. "I've been having dreams about Pan..." she mumbled, barely audible.
"I don't want to talk about this. We had a discussion once before and I told you it's a phase. Girls don't like girls. It's not normal, it's not natural. What happened with that nice boy who gave you a ride to school?"
"I don't like him! I don't like anyone, except Pan!" Bra screamed. Wait, she was just so angry at Pan, now she was yelling that she liked her?
"Go to your room, Bra! Don't you dare raise your voice at me again!"
Bra got out of her chair and walked out the room, not looking back once except to scream, "You don't understand me!" Bra's angry mood came back, but this time she was angry at her mother...and at her friends–she was angry at herself for not understanding.
Pan walked through her front door. She didn't see Bra walking home.
Her boy-toy probably gave her a ride home.
Pan growled as jealousy consumed her. That stupid boy who was with Bra. That stupid boy who was kissing Bra. That stupid boy who didn't deserve to even breathe the same air as Bra.
Wait, no! Bra was a bitch. If anything, Bra didn't deserve that guy. She was probably just using him for her own reasons, just like those stupid friends of Bra's do.
Pan felt hopelessness wash over her again as she realized she was still incredibly confused by this situation. She wanted to hate Bra and to let go, but she couldn't because–because she still had feelings for Bra. Stupid, stupid feelings. Oh how she hated those stupid, unrequited feelings because they've done nothing but ruin everything.
"How was school today, Pan?" Videl's voice called out from the kitchen.
Pan could only reply with her new favorite adjective, "Stupid."
"Anything you want to talk about?" Videl asked her daughter, peeking her head out the doorway.
"Not really. I think this is more of a solo mission for me. Thanks anyway, mom."
Videl smiled. Her little Pan was growing up and right before her very eyes too. "All right, honey. Before you go anywhere, your father and I are going out tonight so I'm fixing your dinner now. You can reheat it when you're hungry."
Pan nodded at her mother and walked to her room, her used-to-be sanctuary. Now all it did was remind her of Bra. Bra's body laying across her bed, sleeping on the floor.
Shut up! She looked to her dresser, now a graveyard of picture frames, and sighed. She collected the fallen memories in her arms and tossed them in her closet. Even if she couldn't see the actual pictures, she knew what they held. It was just another stupid memory that she'd be better off without. She needed to get rid of that last feeling she held for Bra, but it was such a strong feeling. This was like the battles her grandpa Goku fought. There were always enemies he could defeat with no problem, but there was always one very strong one that took a lot of strength and time to beat. But she was Son Pan, she had her grandpa's blood and she would conquer this feeling like her grandpa conquered enemies, right? She hoped so.
Bra glared angrily at her ceiling. Why couldn't anyone understand? Why can't she understand?
"Shut up,' Bra told her now ringing phone. She expected it to stop after four rings, but it kept ringing and ringing. "Guess it's important." She grabbed the phone, "Hello?"
"It's about time! Geez, too good to answer your phone, Bra?"
Bra rolled her eyes. It was Aki, the airhead. "What's up, Aki?"
"Well Suzume just called me and told me about this party tonight. Do you know Amber?"
Bra chewed her lip in thought, "I think so. Was she in our gym class last year?"
"Yep that's her. So you in or what? You never come to any parties, Bra!" Aki's voice whined through the phone.
"I don't know..." Bra flicked her hair away from her face. She was guessing she was punished for raising her voice to her mother, but it was never really made clear. But then again, who cared? This could be a chance to find someone to replace these thoughts of her. "Yeah I'm in. How are we getting there?"
"Suzume's got a ride for us. She's going to get us at 10."
"All right, but have her pick me up at the corner of my block. I may or may not be punished."
"Aww is the good little girl becoming rebellious? First you're making out with random guys in the halls and now you're sneaking out to go to parties? Bra, I'm proud of you."
Bra rolled her eyes. She didn't need to see Aki to know she held a huge grin on her face. "Shut up, Aki. I'll see you later."
Bra hung up the phone. She was acting very unlike herself and people were noticing. Aki and Suzume were pleased, but Bra wasn't sure if she was pleased with herself. What would Pan think about all of this?
Bra looked at the pillows on her bed, tempted to smother herself with one. Why would she care what Pan thought? Why did that matter to her? Pan wasn't even her friend anymore.
Bra checked herself out in the mirror. She felt very exposed, but she needed to catch someone's attention tonight–anyone's attention. She loved fashion, but she would have never been caught dead wearing anything like this; way too short skirt with a top that looked like it belonged in the swim wear aisle at a store. She always dressed nice, but modest. Even when she had boyfriends and they encouraged her to wear revealing clothes, she never listened to them. She remembered her latest ex Tenshi, who acted nothing like what his name translates to (angel), used to buy her clothes so she'd feel bad and wear them since he spent his money on her. That's where she had gotten these clothes, from Tenshi.
Bra frowned as she tried to push her breasts back into her top. They seemed to be spilling out of her top. She was small chested, but she guessed this top was designed to "enhance" her small, but humble features. She applied the rest of her makeup, giving up on trying to keep her breasts from escaping, and checked the clock. It was 9:50, just enough time to make it to the corner.
Pan flopped on the couch, absolutely bored out of her mind. Her parents were out, and probably wouldn't be back until early in the morning, Kenshi was babysitting his little siblings and Amy wasn't answering her phone. She didn't feel like calling anyone else, it just seemed hopeless to her.
"AH! I'm so bored!" Pan yelled out, getting an echo as a reply.
She rolled off the couch and made her way to the TV. Maybe she could find a movie to watch. Pan ran her finger along the rows of tapes. Some had labels, some didn't. Out of curiosity, she picked up a tape without a label, wondering what it was. Something good she hoped.
Pan popped the tape into the VCR and sat back on the couch. The screen showed nothing but black, but she could hear her father talking. A home movie? The camera finally started showing something, but it was blurry. Pan slapped her forehead as she heard her father ask what was going on with the camera on the TV. Her dad might be a genius, but he had no common sense sometimes. Finally the picture on the screen came into focus and Pan realized it was her grandpa Goku's house. The camera panned around, showing a group of people chattering away and laughing. Maybe it was one of those reunions for her family and their friends used to have every year. Her father started talking again, zooming in on people there and talking about them. The camera zoomed in on Krillin, a long time friend of her family's. Pan studied his features, trying to figure out if she was born yet. She didn't see Krillin's daughter Marron anywhere. Pan grabbed the remote, ready to shut off the TV when she saw herself and Bra playing together.
Gohan was saying something about the two demi-saiyans, but Pan blocked out all sound as she stared intently at her past self holding hands with Bra and spinning in circles around the yard. She looked at the bracelets on their tiny wrists; they were wearing "best friend forever" charms.
Pan shut off the TV and carelessly tossed to remote aside. She should have turned that stupid video off when she was planning to.
Bra's small figure was slumped against a wall, beer bottle in hand. She always hated the taste of beer, but this was her escape. The party was really boring, not many people were there. She scanned the room for someone. Beer was a good escape, but she was starting to feel sick.
"Heeeeey Braaaa," Suzume stumbled over to where Bra was. Suzume didn't seem to handle her alcohol very well, especially after playing numerous games of beer pong and losing every single time.
Bra didn't answer her, she was trying to stop the room from spinning first. She watched as Aki slowly walked toward them, or maybe she was walking normally and it just seemed slow. Bra wanted to shake her head because she was giving herself a headache thinking like that, but somehow that didn't seem like a good idea.
"I-isn't thaat um...yooou know," Suzume burst into giggles, the thought of herself forgetting what she was trying to say seemed funny, "ooh maaan, um...yo-you...that guuy you kissssed that I-I want to fuuuuck...?" Suzume started giggling again.
Bra lifted her head up to spot Ken across the room. He looked like he was moving, but Bra wasn't sure if that was because of the beer or not.
"Go say like hi to him or something!" Aki, who seemed to handle alcohol better than her two friends, grabbed Bra's hand, ready to lead her to Ken.
"No!" Bra sluggishly pulled her arm away.
"Well whhhy the fuck nooot!" Suzume, who finally stopped giggling, complained.
Had Bra been sober, she would have never opened her mouth, but her thought process came to a halt and she just started talking, "He thinks that I'm a lesbian or something because Pan pulled me away for some crazy reason and he thought we just broke up or something and I don't know!" Despite Bra's drunken state, she had no problem blurting all that out with just a quick stutter here and there.
Suzume and Aki just stared for a while, either from shock or from the alcohol. Then, at the same time they burst into laughter.
"Oooh my gooood!" Suzume lost what little balance she had left and fell to the ground. "Tha-that is jus...just toooo funny!"
Bra watched her "friends" laughing at her–again. She lost count at how many times they've done this. She clenched the beer bottled then, because of the alcohol flowing through her veins, lost control of her emotions. "FUCK BOTH OF YOU!" Bra chucked the bottle and watched as it shattered into a million pieces, the little amount of liquid left fell like rain drops to the floor. "I-I AM SO SICK OF BO-BOTH OF YOU!"
Suzume and Aki only laughed harder at this outburst. Bra left as fast as she could without falling. She didn't know where she was going, but as long as it was far away from those two, it didn't matter.
Pan lay on her bed, holding a tiny bracelet in her hands.
She still had it.
It was a charm bracelet and her parents must had gotten custom made charms for her and Bra's names. She looked at the dangling silver pieces.
Pan. Bra. Best friends forever. A flower. A heart. A star.
She sighed. Why did she still have this? Did Bra still have hers?
Pan snorted at the idea of Bra keeping this around. She probably threw it out long ago so her friends would never find it.
Pan turned her head and looked at her window. She swore she just heard something hit it. She shrugged her shoulders and put the bracelet back in her jewelry box.
Pan looked at her window again. Something was definitely being thrown at her window. She moved closer to the window.
Pan opened the window and looked down. It was dark, she could only see a silhouette. "Who's there?"
"Paaan it's mee!"
Pan backed away from the window. That was Bra's voice. What did she want?
"Panny-Channy let me in, pleeeease!"
Pan rolled her eyes. Bra was obviously drunk. "Go away, Bra!" Pan yelled out the window, annoyed.
"Pan, you don't un...understand! I need to talk...to you." Bra tried to put together her sentence, but the alcohol hadn't worn off yet.
"The back door should be open!" Pan didn't know why she was letting Bra into her house. You didn't just go and let people you hate in your house, especially if the people you hate are drunk.
But you don't hate her.
Pan growled at her mind, it always had to chime in at the wrong times. It always had to make things complicated, if she could only just stop thinking.
Pan heard Bra nosily make her way up to her room and looked up to find Bra in a very revealing outfit.
Why is she doing this to me?
Pan stared at Bra's slender, creamy white legs, which were very noticeable considering the short skirt she was wearing. Her flat stomach was bare and, though small, her chest could barely be contained in the tiny top Bra was wearing.
Oh my Kami...
Pan felt her face turning red and quickly looked away at the ground, only to find Bra kneeling there seconds later, her breasts inches away from Pan's face.
"Oh Pan it was terri-...terrible! I went to a party and it was terrible and...and they laughed and I ran away and I don't know where I was going...I came here I don't know why I didn't mean to, but I don't want to go home, please don't make me go home, I can't... I can't go home!"
Pan attempted to stare at Bra's face while she ranted on and on. Did she know Pan had no idea what or who she was talking about?
"I hate them! I fu-fucking hate them! I hope they die..."
"Bra, calm down." Pan wanted to tell off Bra, but she seemed so upset about whoever laughed at her.
What about the times she upset you?
There is goes again, adding unnecessary comments, trying to complicate things that are already complicated. Pan ignored her mind. That didn't matter right now, it still hurt to see Bra upset.
Pan got off her bed and kneeled next to Bra, wrapping her arms around Bra's body, which was slightly colder than her own due to Bra's lack of clothing and the alcohol constricting the blood flow.
Bra sighed, a few tears falling from her eyes. "Yo-you're so nice to me still...after everything, after I was stupid and everything and you still care. I'm so dumb...I-I tried to stop feeling like this...but it's...it's not working...not now..."
Pan listened to Bra, wondering what on Kami's green earth she was talking about. Does Bra even know what she's talking about? How much did she drink?
"I-I need to say this, ok...I li-like you...I love you, I have dreams about us..."
Pan pushed Bra away from her. What kind of sick joke was this? Who overheard what she had said to Kenji?
"He-heey! Why did you...you do that for?" Bra looked at Pan, confused beyond belief.
"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying!"
"I know, I know...b-but I know what I'm saying!"
Pan wanted to slap her ex-friend across the face. "Then someone put you up to this!"
"NO!" Bra moved closer to Pan. "No, no, no, no, no!" Bra looked Pan in the eyes before leaning forward and crushing Pan's lips with her own.
"STOP IT!" Pan screamed as she pushed Bra as hard as she could.
Bra tumbled backwards, hitting the ground hard. She looked up at Pan, tears in her eyes. "What?"
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME! GET OUT!"
Bra started crying, she didn't know what she did wrong. Maybe Pan didn't feel the same way? "But..."
"Just go." Pan turned away from Bra, who looked quite vulnerable at the moment.
Bra stood up, swaying slightly and left the Son's home in tears.
Eeee...good, bad? Meow? Hehe...reviews are always welcome! Thanks guys! I'll try to update soon