Morty to the Infinite Power
Disclaimer: I do not own Rick and Morty, nor any series I may cross it over with.
"Yeah, what Morty?" the old scientist replied as he made some minute adjustments to his portal ray.
"What's Project Phoenix?"
"How the *BURP* hell do you know about Project Phoenix?!" Rick demanded waving a flathead screwdriver in a threatening manner.
"Easy!" Morty held his hand up defensively. "You mentioned it while destroying your clones after the Tiny Rick clone situation."
"The one where you left me to die in a tube, I remember," Rick said with a glare.
"I trusted you when you said it was safe and you had it all figured out," Morty replied. "Are you saying I should think I know better than you?"
Rick looked thoughtful, burped, and scratched his ass with his screwdriver. "Ok, you have a point there."
"Thank you," Morty said. "Now, what was Project Phoenix?"
"Why the sudden interest?" he asked before taking a hit off his flask.
"I dunno, it just seemed like something to ask," Morty replied.
"Hmm," Rick said suspiciously for a moment before shrugging. "I suppose the odds of us being in a simulation are remote and Project Phoenix is a bust… Wait! Did you hurt your right wrist?"
"It's kinda sore," Morty admitted.
"That *BURP* explains why you're bored," Rick said amused.
Morty groaned. "Can you please explain Project Phoenix to me?"
"Eh, sure, what the hell," Rick said, hitting a button on the counter and sending the garage sinking into the ground like an elevator.
The front of the garage slowly ambled upwards revealing Rick's cloning lab. The shattered tubes filled with destroyed Rick clones were thankfully gone.
"I had originally planned on making backups in case we died, but the Tiny Rick situation showed me that transferring memories does not transfer consciousness. The clones wouldn't be me, even if they had all of my memories, they'd be more like identical twins *BURP* who had no lives of their own."
"We' died?" Morty asked. "Did you make clones of me?"
"Did I make clones of you Morty… Hahaha!" Rick laughed nervously and flipped a switch lighting up row after row of tubes filled with Morty clones and almost all of them… different.
"I… I," Morty fell silent for a moment. "Ok, why is there so many different versions of me? Is that one a rabbit? Hey, that's a catgirl!"
"Well… I got this idea while you were involved in that Poke the Mom game," Rick explained.
"It's called Pokémon, it has nothing to do with Poking any Moms," Morty said.
"Are you sure?" Rick asked. "I mean *BURP* it is Japanese."
"Yes, Rick I'm sure," Morty said. "Wait?! Were you making Pokémon versions of me to battle to the death in some sort of blood sport?"
"No! Come on, this is your Grandpa Rick. I wouldn't do that to you," he said earnestly… an almost sure sign he was lying, "unless we really needed to."
Morty considered that and eventually gave a small nod.
"Anyway, as I said, I got the idea while you were playing that game, not that I copied it. At the time I thought it was possible to move consciousness from one body to another, so I thought 'What if I had clones evolved to blend in, in different environments' and I got a bit carried away."
Morty looked over the hundreds of altered clones of himself and slowly shook his head. "Wh-what are we going to do with them all?"
"We could just kill them," Rick suggested.
"Rick! We can't just kill them, they're family!" Morty exclaimed.
"Alright, alright," Rick said holding out his palms, "just calm down. It was only an idea."
"Well come up with a better one," Morty said, "you're a genius, it shouldn't be that hard."
"Well.." Rick said thoughtfully, figuring out how to make Morty happy and offload all the work onto him, "I could scan your brain, implant your memories into them, and you could find worlds where they would be happy."
Morty perked up. "That's a great idea, Rick!"
"Yep, *BURP* it's a genius idea," Rick said, smugly. "Now you go play while I get everything set up."
Morty looked at the six-foot-tall monitor connected to a complex console with a comfy chair. "Wow!"
"Use the console to find the appropriate dimension, hit the big red button to turn it into a portal, hit it again to close and voila!" Rick said, before taking a pull off his flask.
"And they already have my memories?" Morty asked.
Rick picked a helmet up off the chair next to the console. "Put it on, wait thirty second until it dings, download the memories to the clones."
"I can do that," Morty said brightly. "Thanks, Grandpa Rick!"
"Don't *BURP* mention it," Rick said, happy that he wouldn't have to do any grunt work. "Later."
Morty sat at the console and put on the helmet. There was a strange floating feeling for a few seconds and then he heard a loud ding. He took off the helmet and set it to the side before turning to the monitor. "Now… what should I look for?"
"How about a world just like this one except I just died in an accident?" he said aloud, remembering how he and Rick had taken over their counterparts' spots when they arrived here.
Examining the tubes closest to him he found two child version of himself, one male, one female, and six teen version of himself, three of each sex.
"I guess I'll start with the kid me," he decided, hitting the button to wake up the clone.
The fluid draining from the tube before the tube sank into the platform, leaving a naked child version of himself lying bonelessly on the floor. Morty put the helmet on and there was a slight hissing sound before the kid sat up.
"Why does everything look so big? Wait! Why am I a child? Rick must have made some kid clones. Why would he make kid clones? Why does Rick do anything?" He took off the helmet and handed it to his older self. "Now what?"
"Now we find a world who's Morty just bit it and swap you out," Morty told him.
"Getting to redo my life from age… five?" he guessed. "I can handle that."
"Let's see what we can find," Morty said cheerfully, typing in a search command and causing the monitor to light up, showing hundreds of smaller screens.
"Eliminate ones where our family is having money problems," Kid Morty said.
"Ok," Morty replied, typing in a few more command and cutting the number of available worlds to a third.
"How about one where they gave us a second season of Firefly?" Kid Morty asked.
The number cut down to four.
Kid Morty watched them carefully. "Let's go with number three, it's raining, and no one saw him getting struck by lightning."
Morty triggered the portal and retrieved his dead younger self so the clone could put on his clothes and take his place. "It is really fucked up that this doesn't disturb me," he said, stripping the corpse of clothes.
"You know the answer to that," his younger self said, getting dressed.
"In a fucked up world, not being fucked up, would be fucked up," Morty said.
"Yep, now wish me luck," Kid Morty said, before hopping through the screen and heading for 'home' the rain pouring down around him.
Morty shut down the portal and pulled his young corpse off to the side. He'd rather deal with them in piles, it was less personal that way.
He looked at the five year old female clone of himself and then at the helmet in his hands. He wasn't sure giving her his memories would be a good idea. He knew he'd be unhappy to sudden find himself genderswapped.
The air next to him shimmered and a female version of him stepped out of it holding the same helmet.
"I look pretty good as a girl," he said, trying to break the silence before it got awkward.
"I'm not so bad as a guy either," she replied, blushing slightly. "Morticia."
"Morty," he replied. "Switch helmets?"
"Yeah, we can just reprogram them with our own patterns after we've dealt with all the opposite gender clones," she offered.
"Or get Grandpa Rick to add a selector switch so we can simply switch back and forth," he said thoughtfully, thinking it would be easier to go by mutations rather than gender.
"I think I'll just go by gender," she said, as they switched helmets.
"Suit yourself," Morty said unconcerned and gave her a wave as she stepped back into the shimmer and vanished.
"Hey, Grandpa Rick!" Morty called out as he went in search of his grandfather.
Half an hour later
He placed the helmet on Young Morticia's head and waited.
Young Morticia sat up and looked around. "Why is everything so big? Why am I naked? Oh yeah, clones, I'm the young clone of myself. Wait! Why are you male?!"
"I got a copy of female me's brain," Morty told her. "Ready?"
"Yeah," she agreed taking off the helmet. "I think I've got it. I really should have updated the pattern after I had the idea for it, so I wouldn't be so confused though."
"Probably," Morty agreed, turning to the console and searching for compatible worlds where she had just died.
"See if there's one where Summer is my older brother," she suggested. "As an older sister she was a complete bitch to me."
"Alright," Morty agreed, cutting down the option to under a dozen.
"That one," Young Morticia said, pointing to a limp body in the shower. "Slipped and drowned in the bath means you don't have to strip a body."
"Got it," Morty said, opening the portal and retrieving the body which he set on top of the other corpse.
"Bye!" she said with a wave as she stepped into the shower.
Morty closed the portal, careful not to get any water on the console. "I need a towel," he noted, before going to dry off.
Ten minutes later
"Why am I naked? Because I'm a clone," the second Morty realized.
"Yeah, and I've got several options ready for you," Morty said. "We have rich and a world where they have hoverboards. You broke your neck on one just a minute ago."
"I'll just have to be more careful than that one of us was," the clone said, stepping through the portal and retrieving the body so he could put on its clothes.
"Why am I naked? Because I'm a clone," Morticia realized. "Why are you male?"
"Got a copy of one of my female selves," Morty said, trying not to stare at his naked female clone.
"I should have updated the pattern after we had the idea to prevent confusion," Morticia said. She turned to the console. "Why are all my other selves naked on the monitor?"
"So, we don't have to strip them," Morty replied. "I've concentrated on same family, and we have money."
"Got one where I'm the older sister?" she asked.
"Let's see," Morty said typing away and reducing everything to three screens.
"Number two," Morticia said. "Auto erotic asphyxiation is pretty easy to avoid, so I don't have to worry about copying her."
"Got it," Morty said, locking it down and retrieving the body, his nose wrinkling in distaste at the smell of sex and death as he dragged the corpse over to the others.
"Thanks, bye!" Morticia said with a wave as she stepped through the portal.
"I want to be the older brother," Clone Morty told him. "I bet Summer is easier to deal with as a younger sister."
"Sure," Morty agreed. "Rich?"
"Of course, or at least well off. I don't want to have to work my way through college," the clone replied.
"Gotcha," Morty said. "Preferences on dad?"
"Not really," the clone admitted.
"Ok, broken home, rich, older brother… auto erotic asphyxiation…" Morty said with a sigh.
"Well, at least I won't have to strip him," the clone noted, retrieving the body to drop with the others.
One hour later
"Hey, Morty," Rick said.
"I'm your grandfather and I'll love you no matter what, but why is there a pile of clones of you that look like they were strangled to death while having sex?"
"They were the easiest to replace with live clones," Morty said. "Apparently auto erotic asphyxiation is really dangerous."
"Ah," Rick said sounding relieved.
Morty turned around and saw the blaster in his grandfather's hands. "What happened to 'I'll love you no matter what'?"
"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to put up with all their sick shit, Morty," Rick explained.
"Huh," Morty said as he considered that. "That makes sense and I wouldn't want serial killer version of me running around either."
"I'm glad *BURP* you agree, Morty," Rick said. "What are you planning on doing with all these corpses of yourself?"
"Either some awful practical jokes or dump them in a world with a shortage of vital organs," Morty replied as he typed away. "I was going to look for a world with the dead rising, but I don't want that stuff to get over here."
"Good thinking, Morty," Rick said proudly, "but I installed a bio-filter on all my portal devices after that thing with the parasites, so it's perfectly safe."
"Zombieland it is then," Morty said. "Do we have a wheelbarrow anywhere?"
Typing by: fyrewolf5
AN: Pocket Mortys was a fun game and what would you do with a portal device and multiple clones of yourself?
TN: I agree Pocket Mortys was fun, but it didn't hold my attention too long. If I had access to the same setup, I'd probably do the same thing for the clones that Morty is doing, but would probably just sacrifice the outfit the clone was wearing and chose other deaths. And with access to a portal gun, I'd probably go find worlds where I had recently/just died and loot things. Use dead counterparts credit card to buy up a ton of booze, electronics and such. Clear out bank accounts, then come back and figure out a way to never have to work again, without the government arresting me for tax evasion or something along those lines. I would feel so bad for any of my clones that had to go back to school, god, memories of dealing with high school and college bs, then going back to school? No thanks, find a nice post apocalyptic world for them to survive in.