Hello everybody! Here is my newest story. It's already fully completed and I'll be uploading it once a week so you won't have to worry about that. With that said, enjoy Pranking The Tournament!
Harry James Potter was not a happy wizard.
Two days ago, the Goblet of Fire had spit out his name as the fourth champion. In hindsight, he should've seen it coming. Something bad always happened to him on Halloween. And although he was innocent, the rest of the school didn't believe him. They thought he was a cheater and a glory hound, trying to steal Cedric's thunder. Idiots and fools, the lot of them! He hated being famous, the last thing he wanted was more attention. All anyone saw when they looked at him was the lightning bolt scar on his forehead- he hated that bloody scar! For everyone else, it was a reminder that Voldemort had been defeated; for him, it was a reminder that his parents were dead.
Even his so-called 'best mate,' Ron Weasley, thought Harry was scum-of-the-Earth. Of course, that was due more to the fact that the bloody pillock was jealous of The-Boy-Who-Lived, but Ron- of all people!- should know how much Harry despised the spotlight. The only person he could count on, the only one who stood by him and believed in him, was Hermoine. Good ol' Hermione! She was always there for him. Even during the Firebolt Fiasco (yes, it deserved to be capitalized) last year, she'd still been looking out for him. Come to think of it, he'd never apologized for that. He would do so soon. Hermione deserved better.
As Harry shuffled into the Great Hall for breakfast, he spied Headmaster Dumbledore sitting calmly at the staff table as Professor McGonagall ranted to him about something. Suddenly, a thought occurred and he smiled at its potential. He walked over to the headmaster and waited to be acknowledged.
Dumbledore held up a hand to silence his deputy. His eyes twinkled as he turned to his favorite student. "Good morning, Harry, my boy!" he said jovially. "What can I do for you?"
Harry smiled pleasantly. "Good morning, Professor Dumbledore. Have you discovered who put my name into the goblet?"
The ever-present sparkle in the headmaster's eyes dimmed. "I'm afraid not, my boy," he said solemnly. "Alastor is still checking, but I fear it will be a fruitless endeavor."
Harry frowned, but shook it off. Honestly, he hadn't been expecting anything positive. "That's alright, Headmaster, although I do have one more question."
"What is it, my boy?" the headmaster asked, the twinkle once more returning at the thought of being able to help the young wizard.
"Well, I was just wondering… Professor Moody said my name was entered under a fourth school. What school was it?"
Dumbledore coughed and looked around discreetly. The students weren't listening, but several professors were paying avid attention while pretending to eat. Professor Sinistra's eggs slipped off her fork and onto her lap- not that she noticed. "It's- er- unimportant, Harry, my boy. Why don't you run along and have some breakfast? The pancakes are simply exquisite today."
Harry frowned. Was the headmaster blushing? "I already ate, sir, and I'd like to know," he insisted, crossing his arms.
Dumbledore stroked his beard. "I assure you, my boy, I-"
"Honestly Albus, just tell the boy!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed, her mouth twitching slightly. Harry nodded at her appreciatively.
The headmaster's cheeks pinked slightly. "Very well." He sighed then looked Harry directly in the eye. "Salem Witches' Academy."
Harry blinked. Twice. "What?"
"Salem Witches' Academy," Dumbledore repeated, a little more strongly. "That's the school you were entered under."
Harry blinked again before snorting loudly. He grinned, the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind. "One last question. What are the tournament rules about school uniforms?" Professor McGonagall's lips did that twitching thing again.
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the defeater of the Dark Lord Grindelwald and the only man Voldemort ever feared, actually stammered. "W-Well, technically you're supposed to wear your school's robes at all times, but I think we can make an exception in this case, Mister Potter."
Harry smiled at the venerable old man, who was squirming infinitesimally in his seat. "Thank you, Headmaster." He turned to face the Deputy Headmistress. "Professor McGonagall," he said, inclining his head slightly. The Scotswoman gave him a nod in return and another one of her lip twitches, eyes shining with mirth. Harry turned around and walked to the Gryffindor table. He spotted Hermione reading a book next to a huge pile of pancakes and sat down next to her.
"Good morning, Harry," she said, not lifting her eyes from her book. She tried to take a bite of her pancakes, but missed her mouth. Syrup dribbled down her chin.
"Good morning, Hermione," he said cheerfully. Hermione looked up, but then went back to her book. If Harry wasn't brooding like he'd been the past few days she wasn't going to question it.
The Weasley Twins then plopped down across from them, impish grins on their faces. "Hello Harrikins, Miss Granger," they said as one.
"Gred, Forge," Harry greeted the two pranksters with an overly dramatic bow. "What can I do for you, gentlemen?"
The twins adopted offended looks. "How could you insult us so, Ickle Harrikins?"
"After all this time-?"
"You should well know we are no gentlemen-"
"We are dashing rogues!"
Harry held up his hands placatingly. Their twinspeak was as entertaining as always. "My apologies. What can I do for you two miscreants?"
The twins grinned. "Well, we couldn't help but notice-"
"While you were speaking with our esteemed headmaster-"
"He of the magnanimous, long beard-"
"That Ol' McGonagall cracked a smile."
"And we couldn't help but wonder-"
"What wondrous topic of conversation-"
"Brought about such a miracle?"
Harry checked to make sure nobody was listening then smiled innocently. "Apparently, I'm a witch," he explained.
Hermione choked on her pancakes. Harry clapped her on the back several times to help clear her throat. "I'm sorry, I think I misheard you, what did you just say?" she asked incredulously.
"Apparently, I'm a witch," Harry repeated. "Professor Dumbledore just told me I was entered into the Tri-wiz as a student of Salem Witches' Academy. Since SWA is a witches only school, I must be a witch, right? After all, according to the castle, I entered myself. Why else would I have entered as a student in an all witches school if I wasn't a witch?"
The twins cracked evil grins. "Too true, young Harrikins-"
"That is quite the damning piece of evidence."
Harry grinned conspiratorially. "Indeed! And gentlemen- sorry- and miscreants, you have arrived at a most opportune moment! I require your assistance."
The twins steepled their hands and put on a solemn look in a comedic imitation of their headmaster. "And what can we do for you-"
Harry leaned in closer. "Well, according to 'our esteemed headmaster, he of the magnanimous, long beard' all champions must wear the uniform of their respective schools at all times..."
Hermione's eyes widened. "Surely you're not saying what I think you are?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear Hermione. And don't call me Shirley!" Harry said, grinning. Hermione snorted and the twins exchanged looks. Harry waved his hand dismissively. "Inside joke," he explained. "Anyways, I was hoping you two might be able to assist me."
The twins shared a look. "What exactly are you asking of us-"
Harry grimaced. "Yeah, don't call me that. Feels wrong somehow." He held up two fingers. "It's quite simple, really. First, I need you to disseminate this information in a way that makes the rest of the school feel like bloody idiots for thinking I entered myself. Second, I've heard there was a potion that can change your gender temporarily; I was hoping you could procure it for me."
The twins exchanged concerned looks. "Harry, mate-"
"We can easily do the first."
"We'd be honored, in fact."
"We have some reservations about the second."
"What in Merlin's name-"
"Would you want to switch genders for?"
Hermione coughed then arched an eyebrow. "Is there a problem with being a girl?" she asked icily.
The twins paled and immediately backpedaled, waving their arms in front of them. "No, ma'am!"
"Nothing wrong with being of the female gender-"
"Right bit smarter than us blokes, you are-"
"A good sight better looking too-"
"Too true. However, young Harrikins here-"
"Was born male."
"We were merely wondering-"
"Why he wishes-"
"To bat for the other side-"
"As it were."
Harry cleared his throat. "Well Misters Weasley," he said pompously. "The rules clearly state that I must wear my school uniform at all times, and I would hate to bring shame to my prestigious academy. As SWA is an all witches school, I feel that I might better be able to fit into said uniform if I was of the female persuasion." He smiled mischievously then dropped the pontificating. "Plus it's a fun way to mess with the tournament. Imagine the next headline in the Daily Prophet: 'Ministry Of Magic Forces Boy-Who-Lived Into Sex Change'!"
Fred and George let out hearty guffaws before nodding understandingly. "We'd be honored to help-"
"With such a noble goal,"
"We'll get back to you later-
"See what we can find."
Harry winked. "I'll spot any costs," he promised. "This is my prank after all." The twins grinned one last time then swept out of the hall. Harry immediately turned to his bushy haired friend.
"Yes Harry, I'll help you learn how to be a girl," Hermione preempted, going back to her book, no longer interested in the conversation. Harry blinked then opened his mouth. "And I'll go clothes shopping with you after your change," Hermione added.
Harry blinked again. His lips parted in a wide smile. "Brilliant, thanks Hermione!" He gave her a quick hug then rushed up to Gryffindor Tower, leaving the brunette feeling quite bemused. Harry was not usually so physically expressive.
The last Potter didn't notice the look on his friend's face however. He was too busy plotting.
Early morning a few days later, Harry took advantage of the empty common room to get a head start on his Potions essay. He knew he still had five days left to finish it, but Snape took any excuse not to accept his work so he wanted to make sure he was finished early, just to be safe. A voice interrupted his work.
The-Boy-Who-Lived looked up and saw the twins waving him over excitedly. Harry put down his quill then walked over to them. The twins smirked as Fred- at least, he thought it was Fred- pulled out a small vial filled with a pink, fluffy-looking liquid. Harry's eyes widened. "Is that-" He looked up questioningly.
The twins grinned and probably-Fred wiggled the vial. "This little beaut-"
"Is called the Gender Swap Potion."
Harry rubbed his hands together. "Excellent work, miscreants. Anything important I should know?"
The twins nodded. "Yes, actually."
"The potion will last for a full year-"
"So you may want to get some knickers if you don't have any yet."
"You won't just look-"
"Like a female version-"
"Of your current self."
"Somehow, the potion knows-"
"What you would have looked like-"
"Had you actually been born-"
Harry grimaced. "I told you not to call me that," he mumbled. The twins grinned and shook their heads. Harry sighed exasperatedly.
"On the plus side-" they continued.
"And you can't get pregnant."
They waggled their eyebrows and Harry glared at the terrible twosome. "No," he said flatly. The twins giggled like little girls and Harry rolled his eyes. "Anything else?" he asked impatiently.
The gingers shared a look. "Well, we're not sure-"
"If there actually are-"
"Any other side effects-"
"You'll probably start acting more feminine-"
"You should go back to normal-"
"Once you change back."
"But there's no antidote."
"So if you take it-"
"You'll be stuck as a girl-"
"For the full year."
Harry flinched slightly. "Ah well, in for a knut, in for a galleon," he muttered under his breath. "I had a feeling that would be the case." He handed a few galleons over to George. "Keep the change," he told them. George pocketed the money with a wink while Fred bowed and placed the potion in Harry's palm. The vial was hot, but not painfully so. Harry glanced furtively around the room. "I probably shouldn't do this in public," he realized. "Don't want anyone watching me. Then I could claim it was a prank or something. Maybe even get Malfoy in trouble for it, if I'm lucky. Also need Hermione to be there so she'll know it's me."
"Smart lad," probably-Fred said.
"Or should we say lass?" most-likely-George asked, winking.
Harry shrugged. "Either's fine. I gotta go find Hermione."
"She's up in her room."
"You're better off waiting until she comes down, Harrikins."
"Wouldn't want to get caught in that jinx on the stairs."
"Unless you're in the mood for a good slide."
Harry waved his hand dismissively. "I figured out how to get past that a few days ago. Professor Moody gave me the idea. Watch." He pulled out his wand and aimed it at the entrance to the girls' dormitory. "Confundo!" he cried, and a powerful jet of periwinkle light struck the stairs. Harry went up two of them then stopped. When nothing happened, he turned to the gaping twins and smirked, then continued up.
Stopping a terrified first year, he found directions to Hermione's dorm. He opened the door slowly, in case one of the girls were changing (he didn't want to get hexed, after all) then walked in after seeing the coast was clear. He went over to Hermione's bed and found her fast asleep, mouth slightly ajar, with a bit of drool hanging from her lips and pooling onto her pillow. Her hair looked no different from its usual style though. An idea struck him and he grinned mischievously. Getting as close to Hermione's ear as he possibly could, he took in a deep breath then screamed, "HERMIONE, WAKE UP! WE HAVE A CHARMS EXAM IN FIVE MINUTES, AND YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING!"
Hermione jolted upright, eyes wide with panic. "Oh Merlin, I'm not ready yet!" She tripped over her sheets and fell to the floor. Harry laughed as Hermione untangled herself. When she escaped, she gave him her most disapproving glare, but that only made him laugh harder. "That wasn't very nice, Harry," she admonished.
"No, but it was funny," he countered. Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. "Sorry, 'Mione." Holding out a hand, he helped her to her feet. Reality then caught up to the young witch. She flushed scarlet and took a step back.
"Harry! What are you doing here? This is the girls' dorm! How did you even get up here?" she shrieked, covering herself with her sheets.
The green-eyed boy laughed again. "Overpowered confundus charm. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Plus I wanted to get started on my prank, and you need to be there for that." He held up the potion and wiggled it.
Hermione quickly connected the dots then pursed her lips. "It's pink," she stated tersely, narrowing her eyes.
Looking at the potion, Harry scratched his head. "Yeah, it is. Why?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "That's just so sexist. Not all girls even like pink, you know!"
Harry shrugged. "I don't really care what color it is as long as it works. And while I usually wouldn't put anything in my mouth that was once in Gred and Forge's hands, I paid them for this, so I think it's safe."
"Alright, but why don't you take it later? Tonight, perhaps?" Hermione asked with a meaningful look.
Harry frowned. "But I wanted to take it now! Come on, 'Mione, I thought you'd be more excited about this!"
Hermione crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "You just woke me up by screaming into my ears," she pointed out. "I'm not exactly feeling it right now. At the very least, let me change. Besides, you should wait until classes are over anyways. Who knows how long the potion will take to work?"
Harry sighed, acknowledging the point. "Fine, but not a minute past dinner!"
"Fine." Hermione put her hands on her hips. "Now get out!" she ordered.
"What? Why?" Harry complained, as she started physically pushing him towards the door.
"Because I don't want you watching me change, that's why! Now leave!"
Harry frowned, but his eyes twinkled Dumbledore-esque. "But that's so mean!" he whined. "You've seen me change before, you should return the favor. Isn't feminism supposed to be about equality?"
Hermione's face turned crimson. "OUT!" she screeched, slamming the door shut behind him. Harry snickered before heading down the stairs. Unfortunately for him, his earlier spell had worn off; as soon as his foot touched the first marble step, the stairs disappeared and were replaced with a polished slide. However, Harry wasn't the youngest seeker in a century for nothing. By the time the stairs finished changing, he'd already jumped back. Deciding to just have fun with it instead of reapplying the Confundus Charm, he sat down, whooped, and enjoyed the ride.
About forty five minutes later, Hermione came down into the common room. Harry shot out of his chair and was by her side in an instant. "You're going to teach me that first, right?" he asked expectantly.
Hermione's brow furrowed. "Teach you what?"
Harry waved his arms around. "Y'know! How to take forever to get ready in the morning; I swear you girls do it just for kicks." He gasped. "Is that the secret? You girls don't actually take so long, but pretend just to mess with us guys' heads? Or are you trying to teach us patience? Training us like dogs? I'm onto you, Hermione!" He pointed an accusatory finger at her, but was grinning like mad.
Hermione gaped. Two days ago, Harry was brooding like an emo, but now he was positively chipper! "What is with you, Harry?" she asked incredulously. "Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to see you happy again, but what changed?"
Harry's smile faltered slightly. He sighed, dragging a hand through his perpetually messy hair. "Listen 'Mione, I just got shafted into what essentially equates to a gladiatorial blood sport. If I don't laugh, I'm going to cry." His grin returned. "So, I'm just going to focus on my prank and have fun this year. Now, answer my question!"
Hermione searched her friend's face as her 183 IQ (her parents had her tested when she was seven) quickly assimilated this new data. A warm smile spread onto her face. She scoffed then threw back her hair. "Obviously. I can't believe it took you this long to realize. Now sit, boy!"
Harry barked and lolled his tongue and the two dissolved into laughter. They made their way down to breakfast, chatting and acting like the teens they were.
The place looked exactly as Harry remembered. Dozens of stalls made from chipped, wooden planks lined both sides of the room. A circle of sinks lay in the center, and above them was a large window that allowed a surprising amount of light to shine through. Through the sinks, he knew, lay the entrance to the fabled Chamber of Secrets.
"Myrtle's bathroom, huh? Very fitting," Harry commented. He smiled as memories of Second Year resurfaced.
Hermione's lips twitched upwards. "Thought you'd appreciate it," she said smugly. "Now take your potion!"
Harry grinned. "Someone's eager. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were actually looking forward to my prank."
"I have a sense of humor," she grumbled, swatting his arm. "Besides this is exactly what those imbeciles running the tournament deserve. Let them have the headache!"
Harry laughed and pulled her into a hug. "You're the best, Hermione! I'm so glad you're my friend. I don't know how I'd have survived this long without you."
The brunette blushed. "I'm sure you'd have been fine, Harry. You're much smarter than you think."
"Even still..." He pulled out the Gender Swap Potion and eyed it contemplatively.
"Harry, what's wrong?"
Snapping his head up, he smiled sadly at her. "I owe you an apology, Hermione."
She arched her eyebrows. "Whatever for?"
"The Firebolt Fiasco," Harry replied. "I was an arse about the whole thing. I never should've listened to Ron- in fact, that's some sound general advice moving forward: don't listen to Ron- but regardless, I'm sorry for the way I treated you. You didn't deserve it, and I hope you can forgive me."
Hermione enveloped Harry in a tight hug as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Oh Harry, you don't need to apologize, I've already forgiven you. The whole thing was Ron's fault anyways."
"Maybe so," Harry agreed, hugging her back. "But I still needed to say it. You're my best friend, Hermione."
A few minutes passed by before a whiny voice interrupted them. "Do you two mind? I'd like to flood that toilet, thank you very much."
The two teens sprung apart and turned to see the pale, grey, teenaged glare of the ghost, Moaning Myrtle, greeting them. She looked mightily annoyed her access to her favorite toilet was being blocked.
However, upon seeing their faces- well, one of them anyway- her entire demeanor shifted. "Oh, hello Harry," she said shyly, twirling a strand of her ethereal hair around a finger. "I didn't realize it was you; what brings you here?"
"Hello, Myrtle! I'm about to take a potion that'll turn me into a girl for the rest of the year then blame Draco Malfoy for it," he answered cheerfully.
"Oh, do you need any help? I can claim I saw him spike your food, if you'd like?"
"Thanks Myrtle, that'd be really helpful." He smiled at her.
Myrtle giggled. "Anything for you, Harry."
Hermione checked her watch then swatted his arm. "Flirt later, Harry! Take your potion now! Dinner just ended and we still need to buy you clothes and talk to Professor McGonagall before curfew. Unless you want to spend your first night as a girl in the boys' dorm?"
Harry shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. "Definitely not! I've heard Seamus and Dean say some things about girls that made me feel unclean. I don't want to be anywhere near them once this hits. And don't even get me started on Ron!" He put his hand on his chin. "Neville's cool though," he added as an afterthought.
Hermione grinned then gestured at the vial in his hand. "Well then, get to it!" she ordered.
Harry gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am!" He uncorked the vial and held it up in the air. "Here's to hoping it tastes better than Polyjuice," he toasted. He tilted his head back and drank. In a mere three gulps, he was finished. He only had time to smile at Hermione before his entire body rippled and he collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
And that's chapter 1! Like I said earlier, this story is already complete and I'll be uploading a new chapter once a week. Please leave a review, I'd love to hear what you all think. See ya next week!