Disclaimer: I don't own the settings. I don't own the characters. I own the handy kiosks and that's about it.
Setting: After being freed from the Barrow Downs and awakened by Tom Bombadil.
"You hobbits do seem to have a way of finding trouble. You are lucky Frodo here remembered my song. Now follow me again," Tom started off again singing. The hobbits followed him, still a little shaken from the experience with the barrow wight.
Eventually they came to another doctors booth. Another sales associate showed them through a tree door with a smile. Once again they headed down the stairs, though this time Merry and Pippin kept their eyes open.
"So why do you guys have slings, anyway?" Sam asked.
"I dunno. We were kicked out of the tree, not thrown by our arms. Did they do anything to you last time?" Pippin responded.
"They gave us some drink to cure exhaustion, but we weren't tired," Sam said.
"What did the psychiatrist do?" Frodo asked. "You still looked scared when you came back."
Merry shuddered. "She told us that though being in a tree was bad, shutting your eyes was worse because you don't know what will sneak up on you."
"And they charged us a piece of dragon's gold for that?!" Frodo cried.
"And the slings," Pippin said.
"Don't forget that drink thing!" Sam added.
Frodo sighed and they continued walking in silence. Soon after they came to a similar long hallway with two doors at the end. Another doctor came out and ushered them into a similar white room.
"Now. What's the problem here?" The doctor asked as soon as all of the hobbits had found seats.
"Er...Nothing really, sir," Frodo responded casually, hoping to avoid a bill. He elbowed Sam.
"That's right. We aren't really sure why we're here. We just kind of showed up and were ushered inside. Nothing's wrong though."
Merry also caught the drift. "That sales associate was very nice and told us to go right down here. We aren't sure why though."
The doctor looked skeptically at them and then read a note on his desk. It was from his colleague at the other end of the Old Forest and read, 'If you meet four hobbits find something that's wrong with them. They are really gullible. If they say nothing's wrong just ask random things. Something will give.' Then at the bottom it added, 'Dragon's gold!'
The doctor looked at Pippin. "You haven't said much. Is there anything wrong with you?" He asked.
"Well, we were caught by barrow wights and had dreams of them killing us...," Pippin said thinking. His three companions glared at him. "Er...but other than that, nothing at all!" He added hastily.
"Ah! I knew you were here for a reason!" The doctor shouted triumphantly. In his mind the words Money, Rich and Gold repeated over and over. "I'll send you all over to the psychiatrist's room."
He pressed a little button on his desk and sent the hobbits out in the hall. A lady opened the door and brought them in. She sat them all down on a medium sized couch, and Merry and Pippin both looked as though the room was familiar.
"Now, what's the problem?" The lady began less sugar-coatedly then the doctor. "Forest animals? Uncomfortable living conditions?" She looked at the harder. "Barrow wights maybe?"
The hobbits shifted uncomfortably.
"Ah. Barrow wights. We get more customers through them. Did you have dreams of being killed many times over? Were you very cold and felt that the night would never end? Were you forced into strange white robes? Was there a sword lying on you necks? Did Tom Bombadil wake you up?"
The hobbits shuddered and nodded. Only Frodo really knew what the lady was talking about. The other three had been asleep until they were woken up by Tom Bombadil on the grass. They had had terrible dreams about being killed many times over, though.
"Alright," She said harshly. "Snap out of being scared. Little babies. How do you expect to get to Rivendell? You can't even stand up to barrow wights, yet you expect to be able to outrun Nazgul? What do you think you are? Superhobbit? Yeah....right..."
The hobbits shrunk back into the couch and their eyes grew three times bigger than normal. Their lower lips trembled.
"Don't give me that," The 'psychiatrist' glared. She was more of an intimidatress than a psychiatrist. "Now are you going to toughen up?"
The hobbits nodded.
"Right. I'll escort you back to the doctor."
The hobbits were led back across the hall. The psychiatrist whispered something to the doctor, and he nodded. He got out a bottle, which was familiar to Frodo and Sam. They dreaded what was coming next, but being half the size of the doctor doubted they could stop it. The doctor gave each of the hobbits a cup and made them drink it.
They reluctantly swallowed. Frodo grimaced and asked, "What was that for?"
"Well...after the traumatic experience with the barrow wights...you must have...been quite...exhausted!" The doctor replied stumbling over his own words. "Well. Your bill comes to..."
"Bill?!" Frodo exclaimed. "For what!?"
"Ah...the psychiatric services and the drink I just gave you. And I'll take those," He added to Merry and Pippin taking their unneeded slings.
"We didn't want the psychiatrist or the drink though!" Frodo protested.
"They were given, so there will be a charge. The doctor said matter-of-factly. "Your bill is 87 American dollars, 61 British pounds, 138 Canadian dollars, 743 Danish krone, 656 former French francs, 195 former German marks," He paused. "Or two piece of dragon's gold."
"What?!" Frodo exclaimed.
"Which form of currency will you be using?"
Frodo glared and dug around in his bag. "Here. Two pieces of dragon gold."
"Thank you. Have a nice day," The doctor smiled.
The hobbits wandered back out into the hall and up the stairs the left the tree and found Tom waiting there with 6 ponies; their original five and Fatty Lumpkin. Frodo muttered something about a rip off, but all the hobbit smiled at Tom and they rode to the edge of the forest together.