"She's easy to like," Xander admitted, "I'm not sure why though."

Cordite snickered.

"You can really tell she cares," Harmony said cheerfully as they entered the building.

"Strangely enough, I can," Xander decided as he looked over at Cordite, thinking about how she and Cordelia behaved and noticing some similarities. He turned to Beth. "Was Joyce everything I said she was?"

Beth beamed. "Mom was great," she agreed. "I was worried… but, she accepted me right away and even though Buffy was freaked out about the whole harem situation, she said it was my decision and that she approved of it."

"Yeah, Buffy doesn't really have any room to throw stones as she's dating a ghost possessing a corpse animated by a demon," Xander said. "I get where she would see the whole star crossed lovers thing in it, but I don't think 'doomed relationship' makes it any better. Some people just like drama, usually girls, but not always. Though to be fair, I will completely classify Angel as a girl mentally from now on."

"Angel is a demon possessed, haunted, corpse?" Harmony asked in disbelief, recalling seeing Buffy and Cordelia argue over who would be a better girlfriend for him.

"It's a long story, but basically… he was turned and the vampire pissed off the gypsies, so they cursed the vampire by ripping his soul out of the afterlife and putting it in charge of the body," Xander explained as they entered the building.

"Sucks to be him," Harmony said, shaking her head.

"It really does," Xander agreed. "Can't say I like him, but I at least respect him… a bit."

"Why?" Beth asked.

"Why do I respect him or why does she date him?" Xander asked, sensing she was confused about the whole situation.

"Both," Beth replied as they climbed the stairs.

"I respect him because he works with us to kill vampires, demons, and anything else we come across. He puts his ass on the line and has saved all our lives at least once. Why is she dating him? He didn't let anyone know he was a vampire when he first showed up, just giving us whatever information he ran across to help us out. Buffy thought she was doomed because slayers normally have a six month life span after being called… so she figured a hot older guy was a good choice. Later after we found out he was a vampire she got to toss in a doomed love affair for her little 'I'm doomed' outlook to… I'd like to use hat trick here or maybe a trifecta, but I can't think of a third thing off the top of my head, basically she has a doomed love affair and a doomed life for maximum drama."

"And you don't think she's doomed?" Harmony asked.

"Slayers normally only have a six month life span because they work alone," Xander told them, "and since we've been working with her since Sophomore year and we're about to graduate…"

"Been a long six months," Cordite said dryly as they entered the office to find Red and Oz had been joined by Giles and Janna and were talking to Willow.

"Six months?" Red asked curiously.

"How long a slayer is supposed to last, since they are all doomed," Marcie said, rolling her eyes.

"Buffy has been extremely lucky to have a strong support network that has changed that," Giles said, his arm wrapped around Janna. "It has caused somewhat of an uproar in council politics, as it goes directly against the conventional wisdom of how a slayer is supposed to operate."

"So… I don't have to worry about that?" Beth asked hopefully, a little nervousness in her voice.

Xander put his hands on her shoulders. "You are not going to die until you are old and gray," he told her firmly. "Slayer or not, anything trying to get to you has to get through me, which means first they have to get through Cordite."

Beth turned to look at Cordite who flashed her incisors in an absolutely evil grin and she couldn't help but smile in relief.

"Buffy?" Giles asked, wondering why Buffy was dressed like Faith and looked so different. He was pretty sure his vision hadn't been that bad.

"Beth," Red told him. "Beth turned out to be Buffy's alternate who just thought she was a pokegirl."

"My word," Giles said, shocked. He reached for his glasses and frowned when he found them missing, his eyesight having been repaired earlier.

Beth hugged Xander tightly for a moment before releasing him. "Thanks, that means a lot." She turned to Willow. "Alpha… please put me on rotation for taming with Marcie for my first time."

"I'll add you in," Willow promised with a wide smile, pleased Beth was finally making herself a true member of the harem.

Red's eyes practically bugged out. "What?! But she's a slayer not a Pokegirl!"

Beth nodded, half expecting this reaction from Red's earlier comments and behavior. "Yeah, and as a member of Xander's harem I have the right to have sex with him and I want to, so I am going to," she said firmly.

"Her and Buffy both seem to really have problems with you having sex with girls," Cordite noted, "or maybe their real concern is you having sex with other girls." She smirked as Red paled and Oz squeezed Red's hand to let her know he wasn't upset.

"Have some alcohol," Willow said, passing Cordite a jar as she settled onto the couch.

Xander sat in between the two and Harmony plopped herself on his lap. "Giles, you good?"

The watcher nodded. "I believe I am better than I have been in quite some time," he said, as Janna leaned into his side.

"Good, then I'd like to kick you guys out for the night and we'll meet up tomorrow afternoon," Xander said.

"We need to have an orgy in Aphrodite's name and consecrate stakes in Artemis'," Willow reminded Xander.

"An orgy would take some of the pressure off my first time," Beth said with a smile.

"I do believe it's best we get home," Giles quickly said, standing up.

Janna snapped her fingers and her feline countenance melted into a normal human one like the Sunnydale teens had been accustomed to. "We'll discuss the study of magic tomorrow, over lunch," she told the girls.

"See you then," Willow said with a wave.

"You're having an orgy?" Red asked in shock.

"Yes, as an apology to Aphrodite and because it's fun," Willow told her. "I doubt you want to join us and I'm not sure if Xander and Oz are that close."

Oz looked at Xander and raised an eyebrow.

"Most you'd get from me would be a high five or fist bump as we passed each other mid girl," Xander told him, causing Red to Blue Screen.

Oz nodded. "That's not what they were wondering about."

"Oh," Xander said, "misread that completely. He turned to the girls. "Oz is my bro, I'm not exactly going to get jealous over him or I would have been already."

"Designated alternate in case of emergency?" Willow asked.

"He'd make the list, but I trust you girls to make your own choices if there is an emergency," Xander said.

"Harmony it is," Cordite said.

"Alternate?" Harmony asked.

"The girls have to have sex with a human at least once a week or they start to lose IQ points and control. It's part of being a Pokegirl," Xander explained. "An alternate is someone they can rely on if I'm in the hospital or a coma or something."

"I didn't realize you two were that close," Red said, recovering from her shock.

Oz shrugged. "Hard not to be when we've risked our lives for one another."

"Doesn't seem to work that way for the girls," Xander told him.

Harmony frowned thoughtfully. "Your IQ goes down when you don't have sex? That has got to suck worse than anything I know of. Does it have to be good sex? Maybe that's why my grades have been so poor this quarter." She turned to Willow. "Quick, ask me a math question!"

"What's three to the second power times nine?" Willow asked.

"Eighty one," Harmony responded instantly.

"That was an easy one," Red complained, glad to have a distraction from the topic of sex. "What is the square root of one hundred and sixty nine times three?"

"Thirty nine," Harmony replied with a smile.

"Eighteen times six divided by nine, add seven," Red rattled off.

"Nineteen," the blonde said confidently.

"This can not be happening," Red said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm a Pokegirl," Harmony said cheerfully.

"And on that note," Oz said, nodding to Xander and pulling Red to her feet.

Xander waved as Oz guided Red out the door, the poor girl having taken one too many shocks in a short amount of time. "We are going to need a very big bed," he said.

Willow grinned. "We've got it covered."


Xander woke up between Harmony and Beth, Cordite and Willow having let them sleep next to him with them on the other side of the two human girls. Glancing down he saw that the Amys were laying half across his legs and Marcie… was nowhere to be seen, though that didn't exactly mean she wasn't there. It took him a moment to realize he was actually awake and not having a dream.

An alarm clock across the room sounded off and Cordite sat up and nailed it with a shoe she'd snatched off the floor, shattering it.

"Good shot," Xander said with a grin.

Cordite looked over Harmony at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm used to you getting upset at me destroying alarm clocks."

"I hate getting up in the morning," Xander said, "I'm the original slacker. Of course that's generally because I don't get near enough sleep, prowling around the graveyards to kill vampires during the night, but I still appreciate the fact that you hate them as much as I do."

Cordite grinned at him. "Your other self was a lot more uptight about that sort of thing."

"I had a lot more responsibilities on that end, making sure you guys were safe from the humans. Here the humans are not a threat and I am completely confident you can handle anything else you run across," he told her.

The bunny girl frowned and stroked an ear. "I'm used to you being in charge, we all are."

Xander frowned in thought. "You want me to be more… uptight?"

"Commanding," she said thoughtfully.

He looked at her and concentrated on the link between them for a second before smirking. "Someone wants a spanking," he teased, causing her eyes to narrow.

"Danger! Cordite is primed!" Poke-Amy yelled, instantly waking up and leaping out of bed, dragging Amy with her, Willow, and Beth escaping the bed like it was on fire, the group fleeing the room, leaving Xander smirking at a glaring Cordite. Neither one noticed as a confused Harmony floated out as well.

Willow did a quick head count, as Marcie became visible and kicked the door closed, before setting Harmony on her feet.

"What just happened?" Harmony asked, half awake and really confused.

"My Cordite alarm went off," Poke-Amy explained.

"Cordite alarm?" Harmony asked.

Poke-Amy nodded. "Cordite is dangerously… enthusiastic, so it's best to get out of the way. I have a spell I created that lets me know when she hits that point."

"When the alarm goes off we get out of the splash zone," Beth said firmly.

"And Xander?" Amy asked.

Willow frowned as she felt him through their link. "He is… amused?!"

Amy nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense." Everyone turned to look at her, but she just shrugged. "I've heard Buffy and Willow talk about his dating history."

Crashing sounds came from the room as if the two were destroying the place, drawing everyone's attention.

"Cordite's testing him," Poke-Amy realized.

"Last time he needed two hyper potions," Beth said with a wince.

"I thought she'd accepted him," Marcie said with a frown, tail whipping back and forth nervously.

"She's accepted that he's Xander," Willow said, pausing to chew on the tip of one of her tails as she considered it, "but she still needs him to prove he's strong enough to be her master. Normally she does this once or twice a year."

The crashing sounds continued, the door shaking as something slammed into it.

"How do you think he's doing?" Harmony asked, after a particularly loud crash.

"Well… he hasn't been knocked out yet," Poke-Amy offered.

Willow's eyes widened. "He's enjoying it almost as much as she is!"

"Yeah, not surprised," Amy said.

"Let's give them a little privacy and get some breakfast," Harmony suggested.

"We have to wait until she's either submitted or knocked Xander out," Willow said, "it can take up to an hour or more."

The crashing sounds became a more rhythmic thumping from inside the room.

"Or maybe not," Willow said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Give me the hyper potions, I'll wait for them to finish while you have breakfast," Marcie said, relieved Xander was still measuring up to Cordite's standards.

"We have any pizza left over from last night?" Amy asked.

"I think we're down to alcohol and food bars," Marcie said, beginning to relax as she saw Willow wasn't looking worried.

"Breakfast of champions," Amy said. "Remind me to brush my teeth before Dad gets here."

Beta by: Abyssal Angel & Mist-Of-Shadows