Cereal Experiments: Akane
by Zorknot

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ and Serial Experiments: Lain are
not mine.

NOTE: This was done for an hour challenge. It turned
out better than I thought it would but still...

Anyway I hope you enjoy.
~~~~~[Start 6:02 pm]~~~~~

Akane wasn't feeling too good. Her head was swimming
through a strange fog, and she seemed to see odd
things in the shadows as she walked. She had tried to
make breakfast for Ranma again. It was supposed to be
a Belgian waffle with fruit topping, only she thought
it was a little bland so she added wasabi and salt
and denatured alcohol and a drop or two of paint
thinner... and some bits of hemp from that rope Uncle
Genma was making...

It quivered ominously on the plate as she gave it to
her fiancee, who had after all promised to eat her
food without complaining so much.

He took a small bite, closing his eyes. His face
turned green, blue, red, and white. Then it
was a curious plaid color. Finally he passed out on
the floor. Akane really hated how Ranma over-
exaggerated how bad her cooking was. Surely it
couldn't be that bad...

She put a small portion, only a crumb really on her
fork and put it in her mouth. She spent the rest of
the time before school trying to wash the taste out
in vain.

Now she was walking alone to Furinken. The power
lines above her seemed to hum very loudly which
aggravated her headache and those shadows...some kind
of weird space scene seemed to swirl in them.

Akane really WAS a bad cook. She had to face it. She
would ask her Home Ec teacher today for some lessons


Akane sat in Math class. The teacher's droning
meaning little to her as she tried to listen through
the thrumming in her brain. Then the numbers and
letters on the chalkboard seemed to swirl around into
new words:

"Fiber is good for you" They seemed to say.

Akane looked away from the board down at her desk.
She lifted her hand up to look at the lines in her
palm...and a strange gray smoke emitted out of her
fingers and dissipated in the air above her.

She should have listened to Ranma. Akane was starting
to wonder if she'd ever recover from this.


Later that day Sayuri and Yuka accosted Akane during
lunch. Akane was still trying to clear her head, when
they asked. "Akane...have you ever gone to a

Akane looked at her friend in confusion, Sayuri
seemed to have pyramids tattooed all over her face.

"Oh come on, 'yuri, She couldn't of been there. That
girl was completely different!" Yuka, who had the
same pyramids, only they were upside down said.

"Yeah I suppose you're right," Sayuri nodded,
"Still...hey do want to go with us to this cooking

"Um...sure, but are you sure you want me...I...I
can't cook." Akane said sadly.

"Well you can just watch then. We just thought you
might want to see it. It's called Fiberia and it
opens late at night, from nine to two in the


"Great we'll pick you up at eight how does that

Akane nodded. And the two girls left. Fiberia...why
did that name seem so familiar?


"Onimusha-sensei, can you help me?" Akane pleaded to
her Home Ec teacher. "I try to get better at cooking
but no matter what I do it all turns out terrible!"

"Well, surely there must be something you can
make..." Onimusha said a little nervous.

"I once made some curry rice that was good, but that
was only with magical water that had supernatural
curative properties!"

Onimusha nodded. "You should start small. Have you
tried making cereal?"

"Cereal?" Akane asked.

"Yes. All you have to do is pour milk in the cereal
and you're done. Surely you can do that."

"I suppose I could try..."


After school Akane went to the supermarket. She was
impressed by how many different types of cereal there
were. Shredded Wheat, Captain Crunch, and Rice
Krispies all sounded a little too dangerous...
Finally she settled on Lucky Charms.

After all, she could cook with magical water, and
the box did say the cereal was "magically delicious."
Maybe it would work.

She was still feeling a little woozy though from her
waffles that morning...

As she walked past the meat section she stopped...
the meat seemed to be trying to break out of the
plastic...trying to get free. Blood starting welling
up in each of the packages, pushing against the
boundary with greater and greater force...Then the
blood exploded over everything.

"AAAAAAAAHH!" Akane screamed and stumbled to the

"Miss?" A matronly woman with a cart asked Akane,
"Are you alright?"

Akane looked around. There wasn't any blood, it had
all been a bizarre hallucination. "I'm...fine
thanks," she lied. Picking up the box of cereal she
hurried to the checkout line.


Genma's stomach growled as he played Go with his
buddy Soun. He eyed Kasumi staring dazedly into the
blank TV screen. "Kasumi-chan, is supper going to be
ready soon?"

"I'm afraid not, Uncle Saotome, Akane is
experiment...I mean cooking in the kitchen. She
hasn't come out for five hours now."

Genma and Soun looked at each other. "You know,
Tendo," Genma said with a nervous smile, "I feel like
eating out tonight how about you?"

"Yes, a good beef bowl would be good to soothe the
nerves," Soun laughed. A second later they were both


Akane stirred the contents of the bowl with her spoon,
wearing nothing but her underwear to cut down on the
static electricity. She put the hose from the natural
gas into the bowl and it seemed to be bubbling nicely
through the cereal. Finally she felt it was time to
add the milk. She poured it in and it hissed loudly.

"Hello, Lucky." She greeted her creation.

"Hello, Akane," It greeted back.

Ranma sat in cursed form in the doorway, her hair
disheveled, her eyes sunken. She held her hand to her
ear..."Beep beep! Caaaaaaaaaall" She said. "Beep
beep! Caaaaaaaall."

~~~~~[End 6:55]~~~~~

Some small changes made after challenge. Thanks to
Gary, Kara, BurgerBill, and PrettyJoshie for their
comments in .irc.

Feedback greatly appreciated. R is for reviews...that's
good enough for me...:-)