Author: Eären ([email protected])
Rating: R
Summary: A series of short stories/skits/jokes revolving around elves and the fact that they glow in the dark. Author's Note: Inspired by conversations with my friend Abi. Gets kinda rawnchy... rated r because we have bad taste, and our brains are in the gutter lots. Note that this set of stories lacks any of my normal seriousness in writing and is for much amusement. Btw, LotR isn't mine. I keep forgetting that. ^.~ btw, again, it only gets sillier as the skits progress in takes.
They Glow In The Dark
Skit One, Take One: Before Moria
The Fellowship had collectively decided to rest for the night, although Legolas had warned them against it.
"This area is too open to attack," the Elf had argued, glancing around warily.
The old Istari only answered him with a shrug and a terse finality to the decision.
"Alright, lights out," Boromir ordered, watching as the Elf took up his watch. "Aragorn? Got the water pale?"
"I already put out the fire," the Ranger said, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.
Eight heads swivled around to lock on the warm glow eminating from the being perched in the tree. A collective "oh" before all eyes averted themselves and the Fellowship went back to minding their own business. Leaving the glowering, glowing being in the tree to mutter elvish curses and make faces at those below him.
Skit One, Take Two: Before Moria (again)
The Fellowship had collectively decided to rest for the night, although Legolas had warned them against it.
"This area is too open to attack," the Elf had argued, glancing around warily.
The old Istari only answered him with a shrug and a terse finality to the decision.
Once the fire had been doused and the Fellowship had snuggled beneath their coverlets only the crickets could be heard chirping. That is, until one of the hobbits spoke up in his sleepy state.
"The moon sure is bright tonight," Pippin commented, blinking owlishly from his upside down position.
"Stop staring at my ass!" came the annoyed reply from the elf in on watch.Skit One, Take Three: Before Moria (final cut)
The Fellowship had collectively decided to rest for the night, although Legolas had warned them against it.
"This area is too open to attack," the Elf had argued, glancing around warily.
The old Istari only answered him with a shrug and a terse finality to the decision.
With a defeated sigh the Elf wandered over to a tree and clambered up into it's boughs.
The Fellowship settled down to sleep, curling tightly into their coverlets to ward of the evening chill.
It wasn't long, though, till the sound of muttering could be heard between the members upon the ground.
"Hey, Aragorn?" Gimli muttered, his whisper harsh and almost loud.
"Hm?"
"Do elves come with dimmers?"
"Eh?"
The dwarf pointed up to the tree where the glow of the elf was rivaling the moon in the night sky. The Man shrugged, snuggling deeper into his blankets.
"I dunno, but I know how to make them glow brighter."
Sorry for the really bad stupid writing. My friend and I came up with the FYI: Elves Glow In The Dark thing while talking on AIM one night... I randomly started making jokes about how Legolas must glow really bright during sex, or that Aragorn need not be afraid of the dark since, or that it wasn't fair, I want an Elven nightlight! *grins* So forgive me. *bows*
Eärendil