Title: Homomanisus
Author: Kinna
Rating: PG for now, hope to bump it up later
Category: Pre-slash, Humour (At least I hope so)
Summary: AU - Draco Malfoy don't exist. At least, not as we know him.
Due to repeated interruptions of Snape's lesson, Snape transfigures ferret Draco into human form. Sans the clothes. Opps.
Author's Notes: Contains numerous excerpts from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Got this plot bunny when I was reading a fic about Harry's disquieting encounter with Draco after he transfigured him into a ferret and thought "Hey, what if Draco was a ferret and gets transformed into human instead?" Hehee. This warped product is then borned.
Disclaimer: Obviously these characters do not belong to me. Anyone who doesn't know their owner get ready for me to send them a psychic wallop.

============================================================================================================= CHAPTER 1

Harry pressed on through the crowd until he found an empty rear compartment near the end of the train. He put Hedwig inside first then started to shove and heave his trunk toward the train door. He tried to lift it up the steps but could hardly raise one end and twice he dropped it painfully on his foot.

"Want a hand?" It was one of the red-haired twins he'd followed through the barrier.

"Yes, please," Harry panted.

"Oy, Fred! C'mere and help!"

With the twins' help, Harry's trunk was at last tucked away in a corner of the compartment.

"Thanks," said Harry, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

"What's that?" said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightning scar.

"Blimey," said the other twin. "Are you ---?"

"He is," said the first twin. "Aren't you?" he added to Harry.

"What?" said Harry.

"Harry Potter." Chorused the twins.

"Oh, him," said Harry, "I mean, yes, I am."

The two boys gawked at him, and Harry found himself turning red. Then, to his relief, a voice came floating in through the train's open door.

"Fred? George? Are you there?"

"Coming, Mom."

With one last look at Harry, the twins hopped off the train.

Harry sat down next to the window where, half-hidden, he could watch the red-haired family on the platform and hear what they were saying. However, a screeching sound nearby soon caught his attention instead. Leaning down to look underneath his seat, where the noise was originating from, Harry was surprised to discover a little albino-fringed ferret instead. It was blinking huge grey eyes, and cringing away from the sudden appearance of a human head.

"Wow. Aren't you a cute little thing! How did you get here? Can I hold you?"

Harry stretched out his hand towards it, only to draw it back sharply when the ferret tried to sink its fangs into the fingers invading its personal space. He blinked, not expecting the show of violence from such an adorable looking creature. Sensing the momentary lull, the ferret tried to make a break for it, streaking across the compartment. Giving up hope at a gentle approach, Harry dived to the floor, shot his arms out and clamped his hands around the smooth belly, fighting to bring the squirming rodent closer while trying to avoid the swipes of its sharp claws. Unsuccessfully, as expected.

Finally, the exhausted ferret gave up, swinging to and fro as it dangled from where Harry was holding it by its tail. An equally tired Harry sat down on the floor, peering over his glasses (which had slipped down the bridge of his nose in his valiant battle) at the criss-crossing scratches covering his hands, and at their perpetuator.

"Look, I am not going to hurt you. You are going to hurt yourself if you go running around on this train and get caught in some moving parts or something. Why don't you calm down and let me take care of you? For the duration of this train journey at least?"

Harry stretched out a finger, moving slowly so as not to startle the ferret which was still eyeing him warily, and ran it down his back. Seeing no negative reaction from it, Harry continued and stroked his finger in soothing motions. As the ferret relaxed visibly after a few minutes of this, the boy brought it closer and placed it on his lap. Seeing that no attempts at escape is imminent, he reached into his pocket, drew out the packet of biscuits inside and carefully opened it to offer some to the twitching, but relatively-docile ferret.

The train slowed right down and finally stopped. People pushed their way towards the door and out on to a tiny, dark platform. Harry shivered in the cold night air and looked down at the sleeping ferret nestled in his arms.

"Hey, wake up. We're off the train now. You can go now." The ferret stirred and opened one eye, only to close it again and snuggled closer into Harry's warmth.

"I don't think it wants to leave." Ron Weasley, the youngest red-headed boy, and now, Harry's new friend, remarked.

"But……..we are not allowed to keep pets except for owls, cats or toads right?"

"Bollocks. Just don't let them find out. My Scabbers is not an owl, a cat or a toad too. "

Harry peered uncertainly at Ron, then sighed. Not that he had much of a choice. He did not want to part with the adorable little ferret too. He just hoped that he would not be kicked out of Hogwarts in his first week and get sent back to the horrible Dursleys if they discover his rule-breaking. Suddenly, his thoughts were disrupted by a familiar voice: "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?"

Harry, startled, quickly stuffed the ferret under the billowing folds of his robe as Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads. The ferret emitted a squeak of protest at the sudden jostling, before settling down back to sleep. Making sure that no one was looking, Harry gently slipped the ferret into a pocket, and then proceeded with the rest of his year mates to follow Hagrid down the steep, narrow path towards Hogwarts.

"Caput Draconis," said Percy, and the portrait swung forward to reveal a round hole in the wall. They all scrambled through it - Neville needed a leg up - and found themselves in the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squashy armchairs.

Percy directed the girls through one door to their dormitory and the boys through another. At the top of a spiral staircase --they were obviously in one of the towers - they found their beds at last: five four-posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they were about to pulled on their pajamas and fall into bed when Harry felt the weight in his pocket. The ferret! In the excitement of the welcome feast, he had almost forgotten about the little creature. It had been so quiet the whole evening. Harry tried to put in down on the bed, but it clung to him stubbornly.

"Hey now, I need to change. Please wait for me here. I can't undress holding you. All right?" After some persuasion, the ferret finally let go. Harry quickly changed and joined it on the bed. "I guess you are going to be with me from now. Do you have a name? I can't keep calling you 'the ferret' in my head, can I?"

It tilted its head and looked at him expectantly.

"Too bad you cannot talk to me. Not like that snake at the zoo… but never mind. Can I name you? Hmm…let's see…you are so white and cute….how about I call you Snowy?" The ferret gave him a look that would pass for a glare had it been human and bared its canines. "Okay, okay, I don't think you like that. Anyway, if I go naming all my pets by their colours, you would have had the same name as Hedwig - she's even whiter than you." The ferret sat back on its haunches and just looked at him.

"Terence?" Twitch.

"No? Rory?" Shudder.

"Atkus?" Furious twitching.

"Shredder?" Said ferret gave up subtle protests and growled at Harry, or at least attempted to, and swiped its claws in his direction. "Whao! All right, definitely not that. Might give you ideas to shred me instead." Looking at the ferret's aggressive stance, Harry had an idea.

"How about 'Draco' instead? I think it means "Dragon". Fits your character. Besides, it is in the school motto. Sounds impressive right?" The ferret seemed satisfied with that after a moment, relaxing and curling its tail. "Okay, Draco it is. Come here. Let's sleep. I'm tired." With that, Harry laid down and soon fell asleep, cradling his new pet protectively in his arms.