Recently, I've gotten a lot of hate mail (even people sending me porn sites, don't ask me why) and really nasty reviews. I thought of giving up writing, but I write for me, not or you, so if you don't like it, you CAN KISS MY WHITE ASS!
Started: March 24, 2003. Finished: April 21, 2003.

Until the day my life changed, the day I met James Potter, I was really just a lost soul wandering around trying to find out who I was and what I was meant for. I was a complete pushover with some things, things I shouldn't have been, but I won't name any because we pretty much know what I'm talking about.

I was a pretty careless person, too. Okay, so you could call me 'Punk' or something or other, but I don't like to label myself. James was just an acquaintance of mine. I had meet him once last year during a school project, but we hardly spoke since. That day I didn't know he changed my life, it was hidden from myself, in the depths of my very existence.

James gave me my first and only nickname that people still use today: Pumpkin. "Lily," He said to me that night we were up late together working on the project.

"Hmm," I said looking over some notes ready to make the next step.

"You remind me of a pumpkin, I'll call you Pumpkin," I looked at him weirdly and shrugged off the odd comment. I can hardly brush off that comment even today.

"Is it the red hair?" I asked pulling at some of my chin length hair. It's grown much longer, almost half way to my shoulders.

"Kind of...it's just that you look rough on the outside, but on the inside you're soft...once you get past that rough exterior, you can really experience your kindness,"

He didn't know what he was saying. I wasn't like that with anyone else except him, it was really sub conscience behavior.

After that week we spent together working on the project wasn't much to me then, but now, I don't know, it means something more. More because we were so bloody in love we didn't even realize it!

Over break I died my hair brown, yet my name Pumpkin stayed with me, and I guess I accept it now as my new name.


"What's new, Pumpkin?"

"Nothing really," I said sipping my pumpkin juice. I set it down and swirled it around. "Got a letter from home," I said casually. Aya Stopped breathing almost at the sound of me mentioning home.

"What?" I asked her.

"Nothing," She mumbled placing scrambled eggs on her plate. "What did they want?" She asked me.

"They don't want me staying in England with my aunt over Christmas Hols, they want me to spend it their," I rolled my eyes tossing her the letter. Aya took it and examined the characters.

"What's this one," She pointed to two of them. "I haven't read hiragana in ages," she said with some egg still in her mouth.

"Sato," I said feeling how could they almost kick me out and then ask me home? I shock my head. Aya placed the letter down and shook her head.

"Some mom," She said continuing her breakfast. "And Nanka went all that way?" She was referring to my orange owl. I was feeling egotistical that day and gave it my nickname, in Japanese so people (except Aya) wouldn't think of me as some big Ego.

"No, it was some other owl," I was now finished with my breakfast. "I hope it's not to discuss Tachibana," I sighed in my seat. Before Hogwarts he was a big problem, I mean it wasn't him, it was my mom and step-dad forcing him on me. Not physically, but they wanted me to like, marry him. I was in no position to and decided to get all punky in hopes that he would loose interest in me.

"Uhhh," Aya had never met him, but knew who he was. "That sucks, you never asked for any of this," Ever since my mother married my step-father when I was four had caused this. My real dad was British and my mom met him on a shopping trip to France. Yeah, a shopping trip. My mom (not to brag) was a granddaughter of one of the Baron's that once were part of Japan's politics and got a large sum of money being the only grandchild. None of this is very important yet, so we'll go over it later on.

"Not exactly, but I guess it kind of comes with the territory." We grabbed our stuff, and went up the stairs to Charms. The one thing I did wrong that day was leave that letter laying on the table. I had totally forgotten I had left it there.


We were the first ones to Charms, like always. We took our seats in the middle of the classroom. Aya's eyes soon lit up with excitement and she started wiggling with excitement. "Pumpkin!" She squealed. "I have an idea!" She said to me.

"What?" I asked knowing that it would be stupid.

"Bring someone home with you, show them that you've got a boyfriend and that you don't need Tachibana," She looked excited about this prospect of hooking me up with someone up...permanently. "It needs to be someone that you've never been with before," She bit her lip as she looked at the students who were now entering the room.

"Sirius...he'll never settle down...Remus, he already has a girlfriend...." She bit her lip going through potential people. What she didn't know that I now know that the very last person any one would expect would be the one.

"Aya, I don't think that this will work," I said shortly before class started. Aya ignored all that I said and started writing things in hiragana. I paid no attention to them, it was a list of I don't know what. Occasionally she would bite the tip of her quill thinking of the proper character.

Flitwick today told us about our mock exams that will take place after break. I swear, they put too much influence on those damn tests, and you want to know a secrete? They weren't that hard at all. I think they wanted to scare us into a good grade.

"No good," She crossed a name off the list. By the end of class she had one name left and wouldn't let me see the paper. It now had a full outline of the plan. I rolled my eyes at her stupidity.

"How many days till vacation?" I asked her after class. Aya looked at her watch that had the date on it.

"Uhhh..." She counted in her head. "14." She said.

"Aya," I said with my serious tone. "I don't think that I could get anyone to fly nearly half way across the world with me and pretend to be my boyfriend," It was completely true, at least that's what I thought at that moment in time. No one would want to spend more than one night with me. It was something about 'commitment.'

"Who knows, maybe James would want to. You two looked so cute two years ago..." I raised my eyebrow at the mention of quiet studious James Potter. Well, he really did open up with me that week nearly two years ago, but I didn't think of that.

"No, he's too nice to even think of going on a date with me," We stopped and I waved goodbye to her. I went to Arrhythmic and she went to Ancient Runes.

But I couldn't help but think about what kind of couple we would make. It would be the strangest thing since they came out with yogurt that comes in a tube. Or maybe juice that comes in a can.

I tapped my pencil the whole time on the prospect of going home for the holiday. There might be snow, that would be acceptable. But Mom would bring up me dress, oh, that would be hellish indeed.

I ran my right hand through my hair and continued on writing formulas down that the witch was writing on the board. Even though I was writing, I found that my mind was drifting off to the opposite side of the classroom towards James (we had all the same classes). I snapped my self back into the idea that I would never go for anyone who was like him.


What made me think the most the next week was what to do about my appearance. I didn't always do what my mother told me to do, and most of the time I ignored her, but I wanted to make a somewhat decent impression. You could say that if you saw me in kimono that I'd still look as punk as ever. I needed to fix that.

So that weekend Aya and me went into Hogsmeade and went to a robe shop that carried all sorts of robes and clothing.

The place smelt of pocket lint with a hint of lemon (don't ask why, I think the witch who owned it liked lemon or something or other). It was dimly lit by candles that were placed sporadically about. The witch came up to us and asked what we were looking for. Aya told her and she sucked on the bottom of her lip and then disappeared and came back with a few selections.

Aya sent me to change into a black one with a white obi (belt). I came out to Aya's eyes. She looked me up and down and shook her head. "No, it clashes too much with your hair," I looked up at my hair (all the brown was cut off and left the dark red with specks of black here and there (yes, it is natural!). I shrugged and tried a few more on and none of them seemed to suit me or my hair.

I picked up the last one in the dressing room and looked at the pattern. The kimono was dark blue, like the sky at sunset. It faded into a light blue at the bottom and it had embroidery of stars. I thought it was so gorgeous. I looked closer at it and say that in the sky had a light touch of gray. I put it on a tied the black obi in the back with a little difficultly as I had had before.

I turned around in the mirror and looked at the reflection on the fifteen year old standing before the reflection. My hair was pulled up in a ponytail and then put into a bug on top of my head with a few black ribbon that I curled this morning.

"...everything will be fine, it's just one game we need you..." I heard the voice of Sirius Black in the front of the shop and disregarded it. James and Sirius were never together, so he wouldn't see me. But why did I care what he thought. Still looking in the mirror I saw the blush come to my cheeks and darker them. Did I have any feelings for him?

I stepped out and Aya smiled. "I like that one," She said. I looked past her and saw the glasses glare from James Potter. He looked at me and did a double take at my appearance. I saw his dark blue eyes and how beautiful they were. I never saw them before from this perspective. It was great.

We broke eye contact and he followed Sirius around the shop. I went back in and changed into my black baggy pants and red, yellow, and green stripped turtle neck (whoever said I don't get into the spirit of Christmas?!). I hung the kimono up and brought it out and paid for it with the money I had brought. The witch thanked us and we left, the bag clutched in my right hand.

"I feel like a snow cone," I said vaguely. I seemed a little stunned at this but then I really wanted ice cream.

"Pumpkin, it's like 40 degrees and look," We stopped in the snow and she looked around us. "We are in a snow cone!" She laughed. I laughed too.

"I guess that's true, but nonetheless, I want one." I sucked on my pinkie finger the whole way back thinking about snow cones. I wanted one with grape flavoring.


It was weird that I wanted a snow cone that day in the snow, but I found out why, but that doesn't mean that I understand it. I thought about the snow cone the whole day, but by dinner, I had forgotten about it and ate chicken with ketchup. Don't knock it till you've tried it, it's really good.

"Pumpkin," I looked across the table at James who had got the courage to talk to me. Not a lot of people did so I give him bonus points for that one.

"Yes," I said swallowing a mouthful of chicken breast.

"What was that you were wearing earlier today?" I was relieved at this. I'm glad he didn't ask me to go out with me or something of that kind.

"Oh, that. It was a kimono." I said looking at the pitcher of pumpkin juice in front of me. I thought it would be a good idea to pour some so I did.

"It was really pretty," He said "On you," I took a sip and nearly chocked, but then made sure he didn't notice this to offend him in any way.

"Thank you," I took a napkin and whipped the pumpkin juice from my face. Aya's left eye moved to her side and watched us and then went back to a conversation about something stupid.

"You're welcome," And that ended our little conversation that night.

I finished up and went pocking around the castle under my invisibility cloak for no reason but just to be mischievous. It wasn't that I would do anything bad, just the thought of sneaking around was appealing to me. I didn't do this with Aya because she never approved of my midnight behaviors, but just accepted them knowing that she wouldn't change them.

I looked at my watch and it read 1:17 a.m. I sighed that I hadn't found a single person out of bed roaming the halls after night.

I made my way up a corridor of stairs and then hit something totally invisible in front of me that knocked me down to the foot of the stair. I rubbed my head and looked to see not one person that I could have knocked into. I saw a head floating in mid air and then threw the hood off my cloak. We looked so ridiculous that night. I wish I had a camera to capture our head with no bodies.

I looked closer and saw that James Potter's head floating down the stairs to help me up. His hand came out and helped me to my feet. "Good morning," He said to me in a whisper. "I knew that someone else was out and about tonight," He smiled and I smiled back at him.

"It's not everyday that two invisible people run into each other," I joked with him. He smiled and we started walking together up the stairs back to Gryffindor Common Room.

"I guess so...What brings you out at this hour?" He asked me putting his hood on and just leaving his hand for me to follow. I did the same and they almost touched.

"Just board and out to see if anyone else was out of bed," I said to him honestly. I surprised myself hearing the words come from my own mouth.

"I guess you succeeded then," I shrugged.

"I guess so," He got to the landing and walked some more together. "And you?" I asked him. "You're just as guilty as me,"

"I was gong to the library, but now I won't because I don't want you walking around at night alone," Normally I would be offended if someone said that to me, but I was touched at his statement. If he could (and I later wanted him to) get under my cloak, I could have lighted up the whole of Tokyo.

Did I have a crush on James Potter only because Aya's solution? You bet I did.


The pressure from Aya to find someone to bring home was intense by the time Wednesday rolled around. "Pumpkin, if you get Tachibana shoved down your thought, don't blame me," I rolled my eyes at her stupid comment. I didn't even know if I would even see him.

"Aya, I know you'd like to see me with someone permanently, but not for a while...I don't feel like being with anyone at this point in my life," I would tell her. But secretly, I had another thing on my mind. Wednesday night before any of the girls went to bed, I went up to the dorm and took out a shirt that I had worn one night when James and I worked together. It was a read sleeveless collar shirt. I hadn't worn it since that night, I don't even know why I still owned it.

I took a sniff and smelt the essence of years gone by, when things were a tad easier. I closed my eyes. What was it that attracted me to James? I couldn't believe that after five years, just recently these emotions started springing up about. I folded the shirt back and stuffed it in my trunk on the end of my bed for safe keeping. Even years after I grew out of that shirt, it somehow remained close to me.

I touched my invisibility cloak, but did not put it on. I noticed that my purple nails would soon be stripped of color by this time next week and it made me grown in that discomfort. my hand picked up a book I had been reading on the recommendation by a pen pal of mine.

I had just come to the point of the young apprentice geisha's mizuage, when she would become a women, I guess. I laughed a little remembering when I had lost mine. That was over with now and didn't want to look back at that mistake I made.

Chailuck, one of my dorm mates came in, beat read with her hair in a messy ponytail. "That James Potter, I don't understand why he's not on the team," She said throwing herself on her bed and taking slow breaths. She played a Chaser on the team.

"What's up?" I asked placing my book down to listen.

"Practice for the game. You know how Mike is out? James is replacing him for the game and damn, he's fast on a broom," She paused. "Who'da thought?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I guess everyone's got a secret," I said. Mine was my secret developing crush on said person.


Aya came back late, after I had turned out my lights. I heard her vaguely and then went back to sleep.


Thursday was the day I had planned the night before to pick what I was going to do: Go by myself or take a pretend boyfriend to ward off possible advances by Tachibana.

I sat in class etching the pros and cons of it. When I counted them, they were even. I got frustrated and crumpled the paper up tore it up into little pieces when I got out of the class I was in.

Care of Magical Creatures marked my final decision. Today was some hideous monster of a creature that I didn't want to associate with so Aya and myself sat under a tree and watched some people petting the ferocious thing. "Have you made up your mind yet?" I shook my head no as I pushed some snow out of the way for me to sit.

Aya told me about not to go calling her when I'm board or something stupid like that. But I didn't feel like listening to her. I watched what looked like a blooming friendship between James Potter and Sirius Black. If Sirius could befriend James, why couldn't I? I mean, we were kind of the same person, only Sirius was male. I stood up and impulsively went to have a nice chat with them as Aya still talked, not even noticing that I was gone.

"Hey Sirius," I said in my most friendliest way. "Hello James," I said to the one with the glasses. James smiled at me.

"Hello Pumpkin Head!" Sirius joked around. I thought it amusing that the person standing next to him had given me that name. "What're you doing over break?" He asked me, not knowing about my plan.

"Well, I was planning on flying back home," I said with a little dread in my voice. Sirius looked at me confused. Sirius knew how much I hated going home. "Actually, that's kind of why I came over here...Sirius, would you mind excusing us?" I asked looking at James for a fleeting moment. Then I thought of an incredibly good reason why I liked him: I wanted him because he was something I couldn't have. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

"Sure..." He dragged the word out and raised and eye brow and started moving away from us. I scratched the back of my head, trying to find the words to speak.

"Nice weather?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah, " I couldn't agree with him more. "So, where are you heading for holidays?" I asked, fiddling with my wand in my pocket.

"Home..." I could tell that there was more to this conversation than the weather and where he was going.

"Well, since I was going home alone to a big house alone, since Aya has to go to Kyakhta then Ulaabaatar, I would so go with her, but my mother wants me home."

"Where?" He asked totally confused.

"Oh!" I smiled and giggled. Yes, I giggled. "Kyakhta is on the Russian/Mongolian boarder and Ulaabaatar is Mongolia's capital. It's really the middle of nowhere," No that I thought about it, I could just see Aya in Mongolia with her parents and younger sister. When she got the bad news a month ago, she nearly threw a fit. They were going because her grandmother was in Kyakhta, and her parents thought it nice to visit the Mongolian capital. That was really beyond me.

"Yeah, it is. That's really to bad."

"Anyway, since I'd be extremely board all by myself and no one else can come, would you come with me?" I asked him. I just couldn't go and say 'Hi, will you come with me half way around the world and pretend to be my boyfriend?' That would be stupid.

"Well, I'd have to check with my mum and dad, but I'd like to go with you," My life was really complete now. I swear. Three weeks with him, in Japan. Then maybe we could really become a real couple!

"Okay, cool. Just owl your parents tonight and ask them. I have plane tickets already. My mum sent me two so I could bring a friend." Class ended and I think I had a heart attack because I was so in heaven.

"Errr. I wish I could go with you. I think that I'll freeze to death in Russia and Mongolia. I can't believe my parents and how clueless they are. Just because they want an adventure doesn't mean they have to drag me and Namie along." Aya told me as we walked back to the castle in the path of footprints.

"Hey it could be worse. You could be in Tiksi." I tried to brighten her spirits.

"Don't remind me. I think I would have killed myself I was there any longer. Thank GOD we left early because of Mum getting the crimson flow and us not being able to find her a tampon." She laughed. "And it was just to damn cold!"

"See, it could always get worse,"

"So, now that you've got James to go with you, what're you going to do all alone...?" She asked, trying to suppress a perking smile.

"Well, I have never been to one of their clubs before, I was to young to go. So I want to go to one, preferably in Tokyo."

I bit my lip. I couldn't wait until I got to Japan. I'll tell you what: Mum will not think I'm a social reject. I'll be regal like she wants me to. This liking people really changes you...I think I should do it more often.


James got the okay with his parents, but I somehow doubt that he was telling the whole truth to his parents. I think I cracked his shell. I don't deserve all the credit. I knew he was bad somewhere deep in the inside.

James and I sat in the Great Hall, our trunks packed, sitting and chatting. "...and then I snuck out and no one even noticed!" James said. He was bad, just like I secretly knew. I just didn't understand how come he wasn't friends with Sirius before a few weeks ago.

"Wow James, you're so different at school," I said shuffling a deck of cards. "I mean, quiet James Potter. Does all of his homework and never does anything bad."

"That's you too. I mean, you are quiet, and you never get caught making trouble. We're tied fro first in our class," I guess he did have a little point.

"Count me in," Aya said sitting next to me and looking tiered.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked her feeling her forehead.

"Just tiered. My trunk weighs about a ton. All that winter crap I need. But Mum says that I'll need more coats. Can't believe it..." She said shaking her head and picking up the cards that were drawn to her.

"Go Fish everyone?" I asked. "What? It's a good game," I said placing what was left of the cards in the center. James shrugged.

"Fine," Aya said pulling a few cards out and piling them next to her in pairs.

We played for about twenty minutes and I won. I always win. I smiled as I shuffled the deck of cards and placed them in a box.

"Pumpkin, can I talk to you," She looked at James. He stared back and then went away getting the hint of Aya's deep eyes.

"What?" I asked her.

"I wanted to ask you if he knows he's going to be your pretend boyfriends yet?" I shook my head no.

"You'd better tell him,"

"I will," It seemed a lot easier in my head than it actually was. Things would be easy if I didn't like him so damn much, too. I had dug my self into a hole that I couldn't find a way out of.

"Okay." Aya said. The call to board the Hogwarts Express came and everyone leaving for break left the castle.


When we boarded the Hogwarts Express, Aya disappeared into the compartment with Sirius.

"Pumpkin, can I ask you two questions?" I looked up at him from my book.

"Sure," I closed it with my bookmark shoved in it.

"Why'd you keep that nickname?" That was a good question that I could have answered a week later, but I had trouble then.

"I don't know. It was cute." I smiled while saying this.

"And what's the real reason I'm going with you?" I guess sooner than later.

"Well, there's this guy, Tachibana my mother wants me to get together with." I just had to tell him the truth. In a relationship, it's best to be honest.

"Ph, so you want me to be like, someone who your with to ward him off?"

"I know it's kind of shallow of me, but you'd do the same thing if you were in my position." I leaned my elbows on my knees and looked up at him.

"I don't think it's shallow. And I know how you feel. I hate parents sometimes. They always think they know what's best for us."

"I couldn't agree more," I agreed with him.


I so wanted to tell him that I liked him then a there, but I was to stupid and blew the first opportunity. I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him. I'd been around a lot of guys, but none of them made me feel like this before. I'm sure if I kissed him, it would be completely different.

Aya came back into our compartment half an hour until we reach Kings Cross. She sat herself next to me. And to my surprise, Sirius took a seat next to James.

"Remember, you can't owl me or anything. There's no owl post or anything over there. No phones, not a fax machine, not one means to communicate." Aya told me. "And wear that Kimono we bought that looks like the night sky the first night." She whispered to me. I nodded half-heartily.

The train too soon pulled into Kings Cross and Aya and me hugged tightly. "I'll miss you," We both said as we stepped off the train. I watched her wave to her mom, father and her ten year old sister, Namie. "See you soon!" She said walking away.

I peered around looking for Nobu, my mother's assistant who I'd met a few times. "James, you understand that we're supposedly an item." Even then I didn't think why he was being so cooperative with me. He was practically flying across the planet with someone he just got friendly with recently. I was just extremely grateful that he was.

"There's Nobu. He's kind of old fashioned." Nobu walked towards us

"Good day, miss Lily," He said in broken English. "Who is this?" He asked me, his eyebrows raised seeing James' hand touch mine and then pull away. I was disappointed that he didn't take my hand.

"Nobu, this is James," I introduced. He nodded and took our trunks for us. We walked behind him. "James, thanks," I said once again.

"Anything for a pumpkin," This made me blush profusely as he kissed the side of my face. I couldn't tell if he was acting or not. If he was, he was very convincing.

Nobu opened the door to the Cadillac for us and we scooted in the back. "Why are we taking a mafia car?" I asked crossing my legs. I always thought that people in the mob like Goti drove Cadillac's.

It was a stupid question and Nobu just laughed. I laughed myself. Silence.

"Kare za ichi anata aino desu ka." I thought about it. James looked at me.

"What did he say?" James whispered.

"It's not important...Moshikashite." I answered Nobu. Nobu shook his head and we continued on for London's airport. I wondered how Aya was doing. She was most likely buying more winter coats.


James and I sat in first class. Nobu did too, but sat a few seats in back of James and me. I felt rather thankful for this. "What did he say to you in the car?" James asked me. I blushed and looked away.

"I told you, it isn't important. I'll tell you later if you want to know," I looked out the window, avoiding eye contact. If I did make eye contact, I'd certainly melt.

"Okay," He said taking out a book and started to read. I watched him, his eyes darting across the page made me squirm. I only wish he looked at me like he looked at his book-full of passion. But sure, like he'd ever look at me like that. I think I'd have a better chance at I don't know, sleeping with him then having him like me.

"What book are you reading?" I asked him. He showed me the cover of the book and I studied it.

"The Age Of Innocence," James said. "My sister asked me to read it so I could help her understand it," He answered. I shook my head in understanding.

"How old is she?" I asked him trying to make small talk.

"Twelve, she goes to Hogwarts too. Everyone says that we're like twins, but I don't really agree with it."

"Do you have a picture?" I asked James, wanting to see if I've ever seen her around school.

"Ah, I think I do," He reached into his pocket for his wallet. "I have a few pictures." He opened it to all the pictures. "Here, you can look through them,"

The first picture was of him and his parents. He looked just like his dad. I turned to the next picture, "There she is," He said pointing to a girl with thigh length dark hair and dark eyes. She was really pretty. I flipped to the next picture of a girl with brown hair mid shoulder, batting her eyes.

"Who's she?" I asked. James snatched his wallet away even though there was one left.

"Old crush," He blushed crisom. I wanted to see the last picture.

"Lemme see the last one,"

"As soon as you tell me what you and Nobu were talking about," He smiled and picked his book up and read. I really wanted to see the last picture, but I didn't exactly want to put my heart on the line just to see a picture. I'd find a way to see it-eventually.


I feel asleep after an hour or two of drawing. I was a little worried about talking in my sleep and revealing stuff that I wish no one to know. But thankfully, James went to sleep following my own flight to dreaming.

My dream was strange, I could tell you that. I was in an old-fashioned tea house pouring tea for people I didn't recognize. After a few minutes I slipped away and then I woke up.

My eyes opened up to find my head on James' shoulder. He looked at me. "Sorry," I said lifting my head off his shoulder.

"It's okay, I was asleep anyway,"

"Oh, okay," I looked out the window and all that I saw was a bunch of clouds. I looked at my watch. We had another hour until we landed. I then kicked myself. Mentally, not physical. That would look really strange seeing a girl with blood red hair (and freckles which was strange since I'm part Japanese) kicking herself on a plane. I could have snuck a peek at his last picture.

I dug around in my purse for my walkman and slid a tape of Super Monkeys (You won't tell will you, I mean, a girl pop group isn't what I'm known to listen to). "What're you listening to?" James asked me after I closed my eyes to try and fall back to sleep. My eyes opened to look at him. I slid the headphones from my head.

"Super Monkeys," I said putting the headset on him. My heart pounded when I placed it on his head. He laughed. I laughed, it was one of the most memorable moments seeing the smile pressed against him cute face. I forgot all the troubles because he was smiling at me. God, I need to tell him. He could like me back. Except that one little problem. That girl. If she was an old crush, why was the picture still in his wallet? But I couldn't believe that he told me he had a crush on her. He kind of trusted me with that information.


When we arrived in late afternoon (remember the time switch) James and I were fine because of all the sleep we had on the plane. When we stepped off the airplane, James was a little taken aback when he looked out the window and saw all the people outside of Tokyo International Airport. "Wow," He was all the words you really needed to sum it all up.

"Hold my hand so you don't get lost." Okay! You caught me, I wanted to hold his hand, and I couldn't miss this opportunity. He gripped my hand. That didn't surprise me so much, but when he laced his fingers between mine made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Nobu led us to a train station. I thought a second, dully not remembering what it was. "Oh," I spoke aloud. It was the Shinconsen.


I haven't been on that train in ages. "Don't look out the window," I warned James. "It'll make you sick. When I was little, I did and I threw up my lunch." James backed away from the window not wanting to loose what food he had in his stomach.

"Where're we going?" He asked me.

"Kyoto. It's so pretty there. Gets hot as hell in the summer," I added. I felt eyes on me as I spoke. "Nani, ookinaosewa!" I said in the most aggravated voice I could muster. The school girls looked away from me and went back to their stupid Nakayoshi magazines. They were too old for them, they must be extremely immature. I crossed my arms.

"What'd you just say?" James whispered into my ear.

"I basically told them to leave me alone," I mumbled crossing my legs together. "James,"

"Hmm?" I stumbled over my words, God, he was just so...James Potter! Why every girl wasn't falling for him was totally beyond me, because he was so adorable.

"Nothing," I quickly dug out a magazine and flipped through it hastily. How was Aya able to tell Sirius how she feels? It was just so hard.


The train stopped and the three of us (me, James, and Nobu) got off. "Kyoto was Japan's ancient capital. There are so many beautiful buildings here," I informed James. He pulled on one of his jackets and so did I.

It looked like snow. The sky was dark gray, like before it snowed. I pulled my hood over my head since my ears were cold. "You look like a little Eskimo," He joked with me. I frowned.

"It's Afabaskin, the politically correct term," I corrected him. My stomach turned at the site of my mother here to greet us. "That's my mother," I said pointing to the lady in a black leather jacket. James nodded. "If I cough, it means Tachibana is with them or any mention of him or anything similar." I said since he wouldn't understand our conversation because my mom didn't speak English unless she absolutely had to.

"Hello, Mother," I said bowing to show her respect. "This is James," I spoke in Japanese. "My boyfriend," I took his hand and squeezed it. I felt a little bad for James. He didn't have a clue as to what I was saying and he was in a country where he didn't speak the language.

"Oh, a boyfriend," She said looking at him up and down. James shifted uncomfortably as she looked him over. "Well, you do know that Tachibana-" COUGH, COUGH "Is still available. James looked at me and placed his arm around me as if to say she's mine. I only wish it was for real. That would be the greatest thing in the world.

We moved together into a car parked in the parking lot. "James," I whispered before we got in the car. I had a plan since I couldn't talk to him without anyone not knowing what we were saying.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Do you know the alphabet in sign language." I asked hastily. He nodded. "Good," He then let me slide in first and then he sat next to me (Mom and Nobu in front).

I started signing to him. thanks for that, Mom seemed a little mad about me having a boyfriend.

Well, what about Tachibana? He asked

he is still available no doubt I will somehow meet with him.

Okay anything you need ask

I smiled at his gesture of kindness. No guy had ever shown me this type of respect before. It was just so kind that he respected me. I should have noticed it then, that he had never thought of me as some whore. He thought that I was good, no evil in me like some people had sometimes thought.


"You two should get some rest, that plane ride was long," Nobu suggested in English, which I was grateful to because James seemed a little uncomfortable when we spoke Japanese around him. "I'll take your stuff to your room Lily, you two James. It's right across from Lily's," I thought it was weird on the account that room was reserved for special people. But James was special to me, and Nobu knew that I had some feelings for James.

"Wow, this places is so pretty," James said looking around at the wooden floors. He looked out into the gardens that my mom spent a lot of time in.

"Thanks, you should see it in spring. It's gorgeous. When the cherry blossoms fall, it's just breathtaking," I lead him to the kitchens for something to eat.

"Do you like ramen?" I asked him. I knew he would say no, but it was worth a try.

"I don't think so," James responded. I leaned against the railing that lead to the upstairs.

"Then you probably wouldn't like any of this stuff. Want to go to Mc Donald's. I think I remember one not to far from here," I smiled.

"Sure," He agreed.

"Come with me, I'll get some yen," I motioned his to climb the wooden staircase that led to the eight bedrooms (this was a little small as it was our Kyoto home. The one in Okinawa was the largest my step dad owned) the house contained.

I slid the door open and walked into the room that had a few traces of dust. I went to my dresser and counted out some yen that I left up there. "Your room is really cool," James said to me looking out the window into the garden.

"I like the spring much better, too much white in the winter," I commented sliding the yen into my purse that sat on top of the dresser.

"What's that?" James pointed to my futon.

"Oh, it's just a futon, why?" I said getting ready to go.

"Is it a bed?" He looked puzzled.

"Yeah, I know there's a lot to get used to, but in no time you'll think nothing of it," I took his hand instinctively (I didn't blush as much as I've done in the past if you wanted to know) and pulled him out of my room and eventually out of my house.

We set down the sidewalk, me trying to balance on the curb. I held both of my hands out placing my hands out for extra balance. "You look like a little girl," I looked at him with I'm sure a funny expression.

"Why'd you say that?" I jumped off and walked alongside James. "I'm the same age as you,"

"I meant that you reminded me of one." James shook his head.

"Okay, I hope that was a good thing," We were walking for ten minutes, me being so stupid forgetting where we were planning on going. "Shouldn't we be there by now?" We stopped together. I looked at him strange.

"What're you talking about?" Not knowing what he was talking about.

"Mc Donald's," He said bluntly. Then I snapped back.

"Oh, right!" I hit my forehead. "I was just tiered," And we kept going, only thins time the other way because I think we passed it when I was looking at James.


"No no no! If you were a fast food, you'd be a fish filet!" I told James. He had said if I was a fast food, I'd be a Big Mac. I stuffed some French fries into my mouth and chewed them. We sat inside at a table.

"Fish? I hate fish," He told me. I took one final bite of my cheeseburger and then sipped my ice tea. "I never thought that I'd live to see sushi at Mc Donald's," He shook his head and took some fries and put them in his mouth.

"I think it's just a special," I said looking at the menu at the counter. James shrugged.

"It's still sushi..." He told me. I don't know what made me think of it, but at that moment I thought of a time when I was little and refused to wear a kimono to a fancy banquet. My mother pleaded with me to no end. She said that I could wear a dress instead. The closet she got was my school uniform. She wasn't happy when I showed up in it. "What're you thinking about?" James asked me.

"Huh...! Oh, just about when I was little," I said taking a last sip of ice tea. "Ready?" I asked as I stared getting up.

"I guess,"


When we walked outside a snowflake caressed my cheek and I looked up. "Look," I pointed at the sky. "It's snowing," I smiled as I watched the white bits drop from the sky.

"Wow, it's really picking up," James noticed as the wind tugged at my hair. I nodded. We started our way back, but half way to my house, we were covered in white powder.

"We'd better hurry before it gets too dark!" I said trying to trudge through the knee deep snow. James put his hand around my waist and picked me up.

I was surprised at this action and didn't realize what was happening until it was almost over. I felt my blush come up, so I pulled my hood around my cheeks so James wouldn't see. I looked around at the surroundings. It was all beautiful. I ad never seen this road from this prospective before and it was breathtaking.

On the side of the road was the a river that had large chunks of ice in it and the other side had trees with a layer of white powder to keep them warm. It was the perfect setting. I wished that I could enjoy a moment with James in this place. Maybe I would some other day


Nobu brought us hot chocolate when we got home and I changed into my pink Chinese style pajamas. They had Ying Fa (cherry blossom in either Cantonese or Mandarin, I can't remember. Nobu had told me, but I forget) all over the top and bottoms. They were made of silk because I liked the was it felt against my skin.

I slipped my matching pink slippers on and with my hot chocolate, I walked across the hall into James' room. I knocked on the open door and pushed it open and saw James on his futon, his legs crossed and a mug in his hands. "Hello," I smiled.

"Hello," James yawned back at me. He looked out the window. "We're lucky we didn't get caught in that," He motioned to the outside. It looked like a snow globe after it had been shaken a good number of times.

"Then maybe Tachibana won't bother with me if it's snowing. Won't be able to get to me," I said with venom in my voice. He would be my only obstacle, and I didn't want that.

"I don't think snow would be able to keep a man away from a women that he loved,"


James' voice seemed to have some sort of double standard to it, but I didn't pick it up what the other meant, but I thought it wasn't that important. We talked until I left and I fell asleep in my warm futon, forgetting what tomorrow might bring my way.