Dancing goldfish incident: A Love Hina Fanfic Challenge [The Director's Cut]

By: Daimyo Shi

Where Can I sign up for Keitaro's luck with the ladies!

This fiction is not a second chapter but what is being called a Director's Cut of Dancing Goldfish Incident by: Daimyo Shi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ change


English being said

Keitaro was walking down the hall with the cleaning supplies for the hot spring area. He manages to get into the hot spring area just in time to see Naru get out of the hot spring.

"Narusegawa, I didn't . . ." says Keitaro as he is cut off by Naru.

"Keitaro! You pervert!" Naru winds up for here sky high punch and her towel drops to the ground exposing her glory to Keitaro. He gets an instant nosebleed and promptly passes out with a mix of fear and joy on his face. Naru blushes and picks up her towel. She kicks Keitaro across the hot spring grounds even as he is passed out. "Pervert!" mutters Naru. "How does he manage to always find me when I am in here. He must be stalking me." Naru storms of to her room.

Several Minute later Keitaro, who is very sore, comes in for the hot spring area licking his wounds. He passes Shinobu who is singing lightly.

"Every time I try to make you smile. You're always feeling sorry for yourself. Every time I try to make you laugh. You can't. You're too tough. You think you're loveless. Is that too much that I'm asking for? (1)" sings Shinobu while she watches Keitaro go to his room.

Keitaro sits and sulks in his room. [How am I going to make up for this. Lately Naru been even more colder than normal. I guess it doesn't help that I keep embarrassing her and seeing her nude and the like. She so beautiful, I can't help but get a nosebleed from even a peak of her perfection. She really mad this time. What can I do though? I never been good at dealing with women. I just want to run man hands through that soft hair and hold her tight to me. What should I do? I could get her flowers yeah maybe that will work. Wait, I am broke again. I always fixing stuff around her and it take my money. I know I ask Daimyo Shi, I am sure he spot me the money.] Keitaro walks down the hall to the other end of the first floor in the farthest room. He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Keitaro opens the door showing a Japanese room with a computer desk and chair against the far wall. There is a table, sit on which is two different Daisho. Another Wall is lined bookcases filled floor to ceiling with books. There is a Kamidana on a shelf next to a chest of drawers with a Stereo completes the room. Keitaro sees Daimyo Shi typing away on his computer. Daimyo Shi turns around and faces Keitaro "how are you?" asks Daimyo Shi

"I am terrible, Naru won't talk to me. . . again." says Keitaro

"I see well, you could always talk to Mutsumi she always glad to see you."

"Why are you and Talon-kun always trying to get me together with Mutsumi?" asks a puzzled Keitaro.

"Well she doesn't hit you into low earth orbit. That is a start, I think she is honestly better looking Naru. You have to admit she kind, compassionate, smart, and forgiving."

"Well I suppose but I love Naru. You and Talon like her so much why don't you take her out." says Keitaro.

Daimyo Shi shakes his head at Keitaro "Talon has a girlfriend, if I recall correctly Tori is her name." Daimyo Shi looks at his Daisho "As for me, I seek a woman with slightly different qualities. Also she not interested in me or Talon she interested in you. I can see it every time she is over here."

"Well, I think you are imagining things Mutsumi and I are just good friends and I am sure you are just misunderstanding things." says Keitaro. A moment later he half realizes that he just insulted the man that he needs to lend him some money tries to think of a way to change the subject. "So what are you writing?" asks Keitaro.

"Oh and Love Hina/ X-men Crossover, you all become mutants and join the X-men." replies Daimyo Shi.

"Really that sounds interesting." says Keitaro "what is my power?."

"Kinetic invulnablity. But you not here to find out what fanfiction I am working on, Keitaro, what are you here for. I can tell you want something. Just spit it out."

"Huh? Oh well I was hoping that I could borrow some money." states Keitaro.

"Broke again? Why? Never mind, I rather not know." replies Daimyo Shi

"Hey, it is nothing dirty it just the expenses of this place are fairly large. I just want to borrow enough for flowers."

"You are so defensive, they are for Naru-chan I take it." sighs Daimyo Shi. "You are lucky that I am hopelessly romantic fool. I rather see you with someone not bent on killing you but I lend you 12000 yen anyway on the condition that you don't ask me for anything for the next week, on your word of honour."

"All right, On my word of honour I shall not bother you for one week."

"Good." says Daimyo Shi "I hope things work out for you this time." Daimyo Shi hands Keitaro 12000 yen.

Keitaro closes the door behind him. [YES! I can get Roses with this kind of cash!]

Keitaro dashes off back to his room to get his wallet and keys. After than he walks to the main hall and sees Motoko bouncing down the stairs. While Motoko is dressed in her normal Gi and Hakama her, Keitaro notices that her normal breast binding are missing and her gi is looser than normal. Further the fact Motoko has a slightly easy going smile cause Keitaro some concern

"Urashima-chan, are you going out? I could really use another case of mountain dew: Code red if you could please get it for me, can please do that for me." says Motoko at something just short of light speed.

"Uh, sure Motoko, do you have some money for it, I am a little short right now." says Keitaro with a worried look on his face.

Motoko's hand flash in several different place all at once it seems as Motoko says "Where did I put that money?" Keitaro does his best to look away wile she checks inside her gi. She pulls out 4000 yen and gives it to Keitaro. "Here you are, Urashima-chan."

"Ok, no problem."Keitaro gets the two wheeled shopping cart and walks out of the inn [That was nothing short of very strange.] thinks Keitaro.

Motoko bonds upstairs towards her room passing the room that Kanako is using. Finding the door open Motoko bounces in. She sees Kanako reading. "What are you reading Kanako?"

"I am reading Romeo and Juliet." says Kanako. The title rolls of her tongue like pure poison, as a very pissed off Kanako looks up at Motoko.

"Really? That really sounds interesting how do you like it. I am kind of neutral about it. I like Hamlet better myself. It so much more dramatic." says Motoko.

"I hate it. It sucks, I don't understand why it was even assigned!" shouts Kanako with a sour look on her dark yet beautiful face.

"Well I don't know I really don't know Oh well it could be worse." and with that Motoko bounces out of the room to her room. Where she chugs another bottle of Mountain Dew: Code Red.


Naru is walking into her room after finishing her breakfast and promptly trips on the threshold and lands face first into the tatami mat.

"Ow, that hurt!" says Naru. Naru picks herself of the floor and walks over to the bookcase. [Damn, I would put that stupid math study guide on the top shelf.] thinks Naru. She reaches up to pull the book down and manages to lose her footing. She grabs the shelf of her book case to steady herself but only manages to pull the book case towards her. She manages to roll out of the way as the entire bookcase falls to the ground with a large crash. She curse "Fucken, stupid fucken book case!"

Naru's door flies open and there stands Kitsune, Shinobu, and Motoko.

"What happened? Are you alright?" asks all of them in one voice.

"I managed to pull down the book case that is all. I am alright. Where is Keitaro?" asks Naru.

"He went shopping I believe." says Motoko.

[I could have died and he wouldn't be here to help. FUCKEN BASTARD! It all his fault anyway if he didn't spill Sprite all over my math study book, this never would have happened.] thinks Naru.

"So you need a hand fixing it Naru-senpai?" Asks Shinobu.

"No it is fine. . . I can do it by myself." says a bitter sounding Naru.

"Well back to Angelic Layer For me then!" smiles Kitsune.

As the rest leave Naru rights her book case and begins to put all the books back. She gets the math study Guide and sits down at the table. She opens the book to chapter eight and pulls out a Pencil to start problem one.


Keitaro walks into the flower's shop dragging a small two wheeled cart with a case of Mountain Dew Code Red. He looks around for a bit and then walks up to the counter. [There seems to be no one up front.] thinks Keitaro. A bell catches Keitaro's eye and he rings it.

"Coming!" echos a female voice from the back.

Out of the back comes a beautiful looking Japanese woman in her late twenties in a rather plain blue dress and an apron. She has long shiny black hair and Emerald Green eyes that sparkle like gems. A name tag on her dress says 'Tokio'.

"Yes, how may I help you?" asks Tokio with a big broad smile.

Keitaro is kind of taken back for a moment but when her remembers himself replies "Uh . . . I would like to get two dozen roses. Red ones please."

"I see would you like baby's breath and greens with that?" asks Tokio

"Uh sure, how much would that be?" asks Keitaro.

"13000 yen." says Tokio.

"Damn, I only got 12000." says Keitaro.

"Well in that case, I could give I have an arrangement that was meant for a wedding it is three dozen roses in red and yellow in a large glass vase that I could give you for that. They just cancelled it and now I am stuck with it. I think it might do, these followers are for you girlfriend?"

[Well not really, but she never know I said it here.] thinks Keitaro just before he says "Yes, they are."

"Well I think it will do nicely. I just have to get rid of the lace around the vase. Tokio walks back into the back.

"What a drop dead gorgeous and kind lady." says Keitaro "I mean I wasn't involved with Naru I be after her."

Some one taps him on the shoulder, Keitaro turns around as look up at a tall Japanese man in a Tokyo Police uniform. The man scowls at Keitaro with narrow yellow eyes and with venom in his voice says "That is my wife."

Tokio comes from the back of the shop again with a large vase filled with three dozen roses half, red, half yellow, with baby's breath and greens.

"Hajime-chan! Don't be scaring my customers." says Tokio.

Hajime moves and leans against the wall and starts to fish something out of his uniform's pocket.

"And don't even think about trying to smoke in here!" says Tokio crossly.

"Hai, Tokio-chan." says Hajime in a quiet tone.

Tokio wraps up the Vase and flowers, "Don't mind my husband. He is just the jealous type." smiles Tokio

"I see." says Keitaro as he hand Tokio the 12000 yen. Keitaro takes the flowers "Thank you Very Much!" Keitaro bows low to Tokio and then leaves all the while aware of Hajime's evil gaze.


Shinobu is singing as she goes down the hallway "Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe?

Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.(2)" Shinobu opens Su's door to find her dancing around her computer wearing a red hat and holding a penguin and singing "all hall our savour red hat, we are saved by Linux, Death to Bill Gates causer of our fates. Fight the demon prince with the sword! Let us not be Microsoft bored.(3)"

Shinobu some what puzzled by Su's song decides to just ask her question and leave. "Su do you know what happened to the dozen bananas that Keitaro bought yesterday?

"Su ate them!" Su smiles broadly.

"But those were for my banana surprise dessert."Shinobu is near crying.

Su looks at Shinobu and bows her head. "Su is very sorry."

Shinobu leaves crying [Now my dessert for Keitaro is ruined. What am I going to do! I know I call Mutsumi she coming for Dinner anyway maybe she can pick some up!]


Keitaro comes in the door to meet Motoko, who is flying down the stairs. The top of gi flying largely open."Great! More Code Red!" says Motoko at a mile a minute. She scoops up the case of Pop and she flies back up the stairs. Keitaro swears her feet never touch the stairs. Keitaro passes the main TV room to see Kitsune and Sarah watching an Anime.

"What are you watching?" asks Keitaro.

"Angelic Layer." says Kitsune.

"What that about?" asks Keitaro

"Well, in the future according to the series, the most popular game in the world is Angelic Layer. The Contestants must raise and train their own 'Angels' (or fighting dolls) to compete in tournaments. The main character is Misaki Suzuhara, who is a sixth grade Angelic Layer prodigy. With her speed-type angel, Hikaru, many people think Misaki stands a chance at winning the championship. She had angel design help from Icchan.(4)" says Kitsune.

Sara interrupts "Icchan looks like papa!"

"Yes a bit I guess. Hmmm, maybe that why I like him so much." remarks Kitsune.

Keitaro looks around and notes that there are several volumes of Angelic Layer manga on the coffee tables an art book on the floor, Several other articles of Angelic layer merchandise lays around Kitsune and Sarah. Keitaro shakes his head and continues down the hall. He passes Shinobu who is coming down the hall towards the kitchen.

"Uh . . . Hello, Urashima-senpai." says Shinobu.

"Hello, Shinobu-chan just starting dinner?"

" Hai, Senpai." replies Shinobu.

"That is good. I always like you cook Shinobu." says Keitaro

Shinobu smiles at the complement. "Uh, Urashima-senpai what is that?" as Shinobu points to the large wrapped package.

"It is flowers for Naru." says a smiling Keitaro.

"Oh." sighs Shinobu [Always Naru, Bitch.].

"Excuse me Shinobu I have to go change so I can present these to Naru." Keitaro goes to his room to change.

Shinobu moves in to the kitchen singing "Why you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated. Life's like this you

And you fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty

and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it no no no

You come over unannounced dressed up like you're somethin' else

where you are and where it's at you see you're making me

laugh out when you strike your pose take off all your preppy clothes

you know you're not fooling anyone when you've become

Somebody else round everyone else Watching your back, like you can't relax

Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me. (5)"


Keitaro finishes dressing himself up and then takes the flowers up to Naru's door. He knocks on it firmly.

"Who is it is?" the less than pleased response from the other side of the door.

"Uh. . . It is Keitaro, Narusegawa." says a now unsure Keitaro.

"Come in I guess." sighs Naru.

Keitaro opens the door and puts the flowers on the table. Unfortunately for Keitaro, he didn't notice the cup of hot tea that was there which spills all over Naru. Naru screams and hits the Book case which promptly falls over spilling books al over the table. Despite the Chaos in the room the flowers mange to not get toppled over. One book flies past Keitaro creating a tear in the door's paper. A Warm sliver of light shines from the hole on to Naru's table illuminating the flowers that Keitaro brought.

"Keitaro, BAKA! I will never want to see you or date you unless I see Goldfish tap dance!" says Naru as she Punches Keitaro into low earth orbit! Daimyo Shi, Talon, Silver, Shinobu and Motoko come to see what the hell has happened.

"Naru what happened?" asks Motoko, A Code Red bottle still in her hand.

"Keitaro spilt tea all over me!" screams Naru.

"Uh . . . he brought you flowers, Naru. He didn't mean any harm." says Daimyo Shi.

"I hate him! I never want to see him again!" says Naru.

"Senpai?" whispers Shinobu.

"Naru, you are being unfair." says Talon.

"Don't care, talk to the hand." says Naru placing her hand towards the group "Now I have a room to clean."

"I can't believe she being such a cruel bitch." says Silver

"Come on we have to talk says Daimyo Shi to Silver and Talon.

Daimyo Shi, Talon and Silver walk to Daimyo Shi room.

"What's up Daimyo Shi." says Silver

"Well we going to have to help Keitaro when he lands." says Daimyo Shi. "I mean if Naru is going to carry through on her threat. Keitaro is a basket case. We are going to really have to keep it together for him."

"Why is she such a bitch?" asks Talon.

"That likely a mystery that will never be solved. I been madly in love with someone before and it not an easy thing to break, further Keitaro is twice as fucked in the head about it than I ever was. We might have to help him with Naru." says Daimyo Shi

"Nani!" shouts Silver and Talon. "How can you possibly mean that! We are all members of the 'F.F.A.F.M.L.K (6)! We should be exploiting this event to get them together."

"Hey, cool it, First All we need to do is get thing back to what passes for normal around her. We don't have the really get Naru and Keitaro together. Second, we can't have Mutsumi and Keitaro together if he leaves or is dead, correct?

"That is true." mutters Silver.

"Alright, we need to split up and find Keitaro so he doesn't do anything rash, agreed" asks Talon

"Agreed." says Daimyo Shi and Silver. All of them leave and spilt up looking for Keitaro's crash landing place.


Talon is outside the fence to the bath as he hears decent of a medium size object from the sky.

[Is that Keitaro?] thinks Talon. Talon strains to hear crying from the descending object as it hits off to the right of Hinata Sou. Talon Dashes of to the impacts sight where in a small crater he finds Keitaro crying his eyes out.

"Are you hurt, Urashima-san?" asks Talon.

Looking up with tear filled blood shot eyes and tear stained shirt Keitaro replies in a frantic voice. "Naru won't talk to me anymore, never again will I hear her sweet voice! I am Doomed to be alone forever! My life is over." Keitaro slumps back down.

"Come on Urashima-san it is not the end I mean it is a big ocean out there I am sure there are other girl out there, like Mutsumi!" says Talon

"NO, there is no one for me other than my Naru, My Promised Girl."

[Dork, Mutsumi is your promised girl!] thinks Talon. "Come on Keitaro, Daimyo Shi, Silver and I will help you." says Talon offering his hand to help Keitaro up.

"Really you will?" says a vaguely hopeful Keitaro.

"Yeah, no problem." says Talon with a fake smile that would make a User car salesman envious.

Talon half pulls Keitaro up and the two of them begin to look for Silver and Daimyo Shi.


Daimyo Shi is outside Naru's room. [Maybe I can calm her down a bit and she will forgive Keitaro.] Daimyo Shi knocks on the door.

"What the fuck do you want!" shouts and evil sounding Naru.

[This is not off to a good start.] thinks Daimyo Shi. "Naru, it is Daimyo Shi, can I come in?"

"I suppose" snaps Naru.

Daimyo Shi enters Naru's room to see Naru sitting at her table with a water damaged math Study Guide, A large rose base flower arrangement and Naru wearing a very pissed off expression. Naru has her Glasses on as well. "What do you want!" The hole in the in the door's paper still halos the flowers in pure white light.

"Well, I was wondering if these were the flowers Keitaro got you?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"Yeah they are. That clumsy fool couldn't even deliver them without messing up. He spilt tea all over my new white blouse and nearly destroyed my math Study guide. I never want to see him again. Every time I do disaster strikes. My book case is nearly falling apart because of him."

"Naru, accidents happen. You can't hold that against Keitaro after all he is brought you flowers. It pretty clear to me that he care deeply for you." [As stupid as it would seem for him to love a uncute (7) violent psycho bitch like you]

"Bah! Nearly all my bad luck is linked to him. I never would have been a ronin if it hadn't been for him and I would be in second year at Todai rather than first year!"snarls Naru.

"Naru, I think that is unfair. You can't not link everything to Keitaro, that is ridiculous!"

"Bah, you don't know him like I do every problem I have ever had is related to him! Further I have no idea why I let you and that pervert Talon to stay here, either. You are both Hentai of the first order. Now get out of my room!" shouts Naru pointing a finger at Daimyo Shi. When she retracts towards herself the sleeve of her sweater catches on her steaming tea cup splattering her with the boiling hot tea.

"Eeeeeyyahhh!" Screams Naru "Get out, your just like Keitaro!"

"It is Karma, Naru! You are being punished for you misdeeds. Do not laugh at the righteous Wrath of Heaven! If you fail to learn this lesson Karma shall continue to strike at you until you do!" says Daimyo Shi with a sour look. Daimyo Shi leave Naru's room. [Mega-Bitch!] thinks Daimyo Shi as he travels down the hall hoping that either Talon or Silver have found Keitaro. [This will be harder than I thought.] Daimyo Shi goes off to Find Silver and Talon. After several minutes he runs into Talon pulling a depressed Keitaro. Seconds later, they run into Silver.

"Well I found him." says Talon.

"So I see, come on we should talk in my room." says Daimyo Shi.

All of them go to Daimyo Shi's Room.

"So what do we do now? Asks Silver.

"I am doomed." mutters Keitaro.

"Well simple, we have to figure a way to get Naru to stop hating Keitaro." replies Talon.

"Easier said than done. She is mad! I mean madder than I have ever seen her before. I don't know if she will ever forgive him." says Daimyo Shi with a shake of his head.

"I! AM! DOOMED!" says Keitaro as he begins to cry again.

"Wait, Keitaro before we got there did she say anything." asks Silver in a what is looking like vain attempt to keep Keitaro is a state just short of suicidal.

"Well." sniffs Keitaro "She said she never talk or date me until she see Goldfish tap dance!"

"Oh great! Says Talon sourly "Why didn't she ask for the moon to have pink polka dots."

"Perfect! Then all we have to do is make Goldfish tap dance!" smiles Daimyo Shi

Everyone looks at Daimyo Shi like he just said that he was the Tenno of Japan.

"Nani?" questions Daimyo Shi.

"Pardon the strong language but ARE YOU FUCKEN CRAZY?! How are we going to do that? It is impossible!" shouts Talon

"Pardon me, but nothing is impossible after all Keitaro gets punched into Low Earth Orbit, Su makes self replicating and growing Mecha Tama. Tama-chan can fly, Kitsune can drink her the equivalent of her entire blood supply of Sake without killing herself. Seta crashes his Van and lives every time. Keitaro is actually in love with Naru. Haruka can maintain a straight face around here despite the madness that surrounds. Mutusmi-chan is perfectly content to let Keitaro make his own mind up without feeling hurt. I think dancing Goldfish are quite possible." says Daimyo Shi indigently [Of course there are other things that are equally impossible that happen here like Keitaro's inability to be turned on by Mutsumi, Kanako's inability to understand wanting your brother in a romantic manner is weird. Everybody's inability to remember those two guys name, uh . . . who are they again?]

"He does have a point." says Silver [Of course there is also Keitaro's inability to see that Shinobu has a crush on him.]

"Yeah , I suppose." says Talon. "But how are we going to do this?"

"Well I haven't though of that yet. Do I have to think everything?" says Daimyo Shi.

"YES!" shouts Silver, Talon, and Keitaro.

"Well, ok, no one told me!" says Daimyo Shi.

"Uh wasn't it the script?" ask Silver.

"I don't think so." says Daimyo Shi.

"Hello can we get back the problem at hand?" says Keitaro "Namely then end of my happiness."

"Well I suppose. What about Su? Maybe she got something that can mutate them. Anyway, I go get some gold fish since no matter what we need them." says Daimyo Shi. Everyone gets up and out of Daimyo Shi's room. "I will be back in a couple hours as I have a couple things I have to do first before getting the gold fish. It would be very helpful if you could think of some way of getting the fish to tap dance." says Daimyo Shi as he leaves.

"Easier said than done." says Talon.

"Everything is, Talon." says Daimyo Shi from down the hall.

"Well maybe Daimyo Shi is Right and Su has something." says Silver "Hey, maybe we could make mutagens like they had in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"Yeah, but Su is off seeing 'Spirited Away' with her friends." says Talon.

"Well, we could go in and look after all Keitaro you know she would help if she was here.?" says Silver.

"Well, I guess so but I not sure . . . " says Keitaro with a troubled look.

"Hey, Su always helped you in the past." says Talon.

"That is true." says Keitaro. "Ok, Silver you going to have to look out for us so that know we are snooping since that will only get us in more trouble. The three dash upstairs to Su's room. Silver watches outside as Talon and Keitaro look around.

"I never knew Su had a photo copier?" says Talon.

"Yeah I think she found it one day. It wasn't working so it got thrown out. Su fixed it. It even does colour." says Keitaro. "Hey let's find what we are looking for, quickly."

"Right." says Talon as the both look on shelves equipment, parts, chemicals and books.

"Hey, here is the Journal of Japanese Biochemistry." Says Talon flipping through it.

Keitaro looks on the shelves for ideas to help his little problem.

"Hey, Keitaro there a experiment in here for increasing Fish intelligence to levels equal to a dog and some growth hormones maybe we can use that." says Talon.

"Photocopy it so we don't have to take the book." says Keitaro.

Talon Photocopies the book and hand pages to Keitaro, "Here get these chemicals." says Talon.

Keitaro grabs what is on the list.


Naru comes out of her room with a foul looking on her face. Her hair is all messed up and full of gel. [I can't believe that I mixed up my gel and conditioner. Now I got to take a bath to wash this shit out!] thinks Naru. She sees Silver in the hall looking at her.

[Damn it.] thinks Silver. She knocks on Su's door twice, one short and one long.

Inside Talon hears it "Hide whispers Talon, Naru is coming." both Keitaro and Talon hide.

Silver noting that there was no more sound from the Room ready her excuse for Naru.

"What are you doing there." snaps Naru.

"I was looking for Su, but she doesn't seem to be here."

"Of course not she went to see Spirited Way with her friends! She only told all of us at breakfast!"

"Oh, I had forgotten never mind." Says Silver as she turns and dashes down the stairs. Silver sits in the main TV room so that she can see when Naru comes down. Kitsune and Sarah don't even notice her as they are to engrossed in Angelic Layer.

Naru is at the foot of the stairs as she can smell smoke. She dashes to the source of the smell and rips open Urashima Kanako's door. Inside she can see Kanako standing in front of a silver brazier which has a burning book on it, praying.

"What the Fuck is going on, Bitch!" screams Naru.

"I am burning my copy of Romeo and Juliet, and just who are you calling bitch, you bitch!" shoats Kanako back at Naru.

"I calling you bitch, you black hearted, Goth, vampire succubus wannabe." says an acid tongued Naru.

"At least I don't abuse Keitaro like you do, I have seen you destroy his self-confidence even as he tries to live up to what ever high standard you have set. He works to give you everything and you trat him like trash. You are the most Icy Stone cold fucken' bitch that the world has ever seen! At least I am willing to love him, protect him." says Kanako with venom dripping from her voice.

"Then you are the stupidest dumb fuck of bitch in the world, no wait the universe, because No one should be stupid enough to be in love with that dumb fuck!!"

"Why you Bitch! I kill you for that!" Kanako grabs a pair of nunchaku from a drawer in a end table and charges Naru "No one calls Onii-san that! Stand still so you can meet you fate!"

"Oh Shit!" says Naru as she flees from Kanako down the stairs. Kanako follows her out the main door and starts chasing her in to the woods "I will kill you, Naru! No one dares talks about Onii-san like that! Die your red haired Oni-Bitch!" says Kanako as she throws Shuriken at Naru, who barely dodges them. The Shuriken thunk in the trunk of an old tree. Several Oni pop out beside the tree and say "Hey, even we are not as mean as Naru!" before going back to hell.


After Naru flashes by with Kanako Silver goes up to Su room and in Morse code taps all clear.

Talon pops out of his hiding place. "Silver says it all clear." Talon picks up the photocopied pages and some of the chemicals and Keitaro picks up the rest. They both Exit Su's room and see Silver.

"Where are we going to put this." asks Keitaro.

"How about your room?" asks Talon

"Talon no Baka. His room is too close to Naru's!" says Silver.

"I guess so." says Talon.

"You room is the farthest away from Naru." says Silver to Talon."

"No Daimyo Shi's it the furthest way from Naru's." says Talon defensively

"Yeah but his is too close to the Girls bath and change room." says Keitaro.

"It isn't fair." pouts Talon.

"Life is seldom fair." remarks Silver "You know Talon you can really be a complainer sometimes."

Talon grumbles as Keitaro and him walk towards his room. They enter it and put down all the stuff.

"I not sure how much I can help chemistry has always been my worse subject." says Keitaro.

"Well I do pretty good at it so I work on it here. You go see how dinner is coming." says Talon.

Keitaro gets up and bows to Talon. "I thank you very much for your help, Talon. I don't know what I would do without the help of You, Silver and Daimyo Shi."

"Ok well, we are you friends what kind of friends would we be if we didn't help." says Talon.

Keitaro leaves the room to go towards the stairs with Silver.


"Yummy! Yummy!" says Motoko Finishing of her twelve bottle of Code Red: Mountain Dew "Must have more!" Motoko runs to the Case she has so fast that an outside observer would swear she teleported to the case. She opens the top flap only to see Tama-chan looking up at her. Motoko Jumps back as Tama-chan says "Myu Myu"

"T . . . t...t ...Tur . .. Turtle!" stutters Motoko.

"Myu." says Tama-chan flying at Motoko with a little row of hearts streaming behind her.

Motoko dashes out of her room and starts running faster than a person can be seen breaking both Soujiro and Kenshin's anime Land Speed records. Motoko's Gi being slightly more inclined to obey the laws of physics, tears completely open giving anything with higher than a 200 cycle a second perception a eyeful of Motoko's beauty. Motoko is managing to run on the side of the walls of Hinata Sou as Tama-chan follows as fast as she can. A strong Wind generated by the unseen Motoko nearly knocks Silver and Keitaro of their feet. Motoko jumps through the window at the end of the hall and runs on air to the next building in Hinata Sou. When Tama-chan gets to the Window. Motoko is long gone. Tama-Chan sighs "Myuuuu" sadly at the Window.


Keitaro has come down to the kitchen to check on dinner. He sees Shinobu cooking up a storm while singing "Every time I try to make you smile. You're always feeling sorry for yourself

Every time I try to make you laugh. You can't .You're too tough. You think you're loveless

It was too much that I'm asking for. (1)"

[I wonder who she is singing about?] thinks Keitaro. "Shinobu-chan, how is . . ."

Shinobu nearly loses the salad on to the floor as she jumps five feet in the air.

"Shinobu-chan, I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." says Keitaro.

"Uh . . . It is alright Senpai. I just didn't hear you come in. What can I do for you?" asks Shinobu.

"Well I was just wondering how supper was coming."

"Well it will be another Half hour, Remember today Shinei and Hatanari are coming today along with Mutsumi-senpai." says Shinobu.

"That is Shirai and Haitani, Shinobu-chan."

"I am sorry, Senpai."

"It is alright nobody can seem to get it right." says Keitaro. Keitaro leaves the kitchen.


Kitsune was watching Angelic layer {still} when the Door bell sounded. Kitsune tried to ignore it but it is grating at her. Kitsune Pause the DVD.

"Hey, what you do that for?" shouts Sarah.

"Can't you hear the door bell?" asks Kitsune with annoyance.

Kitsune walks over to the Door and opens it to find Haitani and Shirai there.

"Hello, Kitsune-san, Flowers for you." says Haitani as he hands her a bunch of daisies and mums. [O please by all the kami let Kitsune like my flowers.]

[Cheap . . . but thoughtful.] thinks Kitsune "Well come in Haitani and Shirai, dinner will be in a while." says Kitsune.

"That is Haitani and Shi . ." says Shirai

Haitani slaps him upside the head. "Baka she said our names right!" [Don't screw this up for me!]

"Oh, sorry." says Shirai.

"What you watching?" asks Haitani noting the pause screen desperately trying to start a conversation.

"Oh, Angelic layer."

"Wow that is just such a Cool show!" exclaims Shirai.

[It figures that he would like it.] thinks Haitani [He can be really strange sometimes. Wow it might not be dialogue but think almost as good. Thank you Daimyo Shi.]

"Well I want to get back to it." says Kitsune as she sits down on the coach and presses play on the remote. Shirai becomes transfixed on Angelic layer while Haitani becomes transfixed on Kitsune. Kitsune remains completely unaware of Haitani's attention.

Keitaro comes from the Dinning room and into the hall where he sees Haitani.

"Hey, Haitani when you and Shirai get here." asks Keitaro.

"Just a couple minutes ago." remarks Haitani.

Keitaro can here the front door opening and sees Daimyo Shi come in with large box.

"Is that them?" says Keitaro.

"Yep, where is the rest of the supplies?" says Daimyo Shi.

"Talon's room." says Keitaro quickly.

"Ok, let's get this done." says Daimyo Shi.

Haitani blinks twice. "Weird."says Haitani before turning back to Kitsune's lovely face and body.

Daimyo Shi and Keitaro go up to Talon's room. [Ah, heaven!]

"Hey that was fast Keitaro. Hey Daimyo Shi I got the mutagens ready." says Talon.

"And you said I was fast?" says Keitaro.

"Well I think it will work. You have the fish?" asks Talon.

"Yep." says Daimyo Shi putting down the box in the box is a large fish tank with no water and five bags each containing a single large Goldfish.

"Hey those are pond size gold fish." says Talon.

"Well I thought it would work better." says Daimyo Shi.

"I'll get the water." says Keitaro as he leaves for his bath room.

"Talon you think this will work?" says Daimyo Shi.

"Sure, It has been done before." says Talon handing the photo Copies to Daimyo Shi.

Keitaro comes back as Daimyo Shi is reading the experiment's notes.

"Here is the water." says Keitaro.

"Pour it in the tank." says Talon.

Keitaro pours the water into the tank. Daimyo Shi releases the fish into the tank.

"Hey Daimyo Shi did you get fish food?"

"Yeah, Talon right here."

"Great let me mix the mutagens into it." says talon. Talon mixes the mutagens into the Fish food and sprinkles them on the top of the water.

"I wonder how long it will take?" says Keitaro.

"Don't know." says Talon

All three men heard a scream from outside it was Naru. "Help me she trying to kill me!" All three of them look out the window to see Naru being chased by Kanako.

"I am coming Naru! I save you!" says Keitaro dashing down to save her.

"Should we help?" asks Talon.

"Well, I doubt it be good for Keitaro's health if Naru dies." says Daimyo Shi begrudgingly.

"I suppose you have a point." sighs Talon.

Both Daimyo Shi and Talon dash downstairs and outside since they are now far behind Keitaro. Daimyo Shi drops the papers which float to the floor. At the bottom of the last one the last sentence on the page says "April Fool's this is a work of fiction."

"Kanako-Chan stop this!" shouts Keitaro at his sister who is chasing Naru with Nunchaku whirling in her right hand and her left have four blade Shuriken in them. Several dozen Shuriken are sunk into wood frames, trees and the gate of Hinata Sou.

"Onii-san . . ." says Kanako as she stops her run, she is unaware that she has flicked the Shuriken in her left hand towards Daimyo Shi and Talon. Both Talon and Daimyo Shi catch the blades in their fingers. Kanako slowly move toward Keitaro and says "She called you a Dumb Fuck."

"Naru is full of the foul language today." whispers Daimyo Shi to Talon.

"Kanako-chan that is no reason to kill her." says Keitaro.

[Well not by itself I suppose.] thinks Daimyo Shi.

A teary eyed Kanako looks at Keitaro. "But she always making fun of you and hurting you. She also knocks you down every time you mange to pick you self up."

Behind Keitaro, Daimyo Shi, Talon and the newly arrived Silver do the Sage nod to each of Kanako's statements.

"Kanako you can't just going around killing people because of that you need to resolve things peacefully." says Keitaro.

"Oh, Onii-san she such a bitch, though it hurts me to see her hurt you so much." says a crying Kanako.

Daimyo Shi motions to Naru "maybe you should go to you room, until we have this settled."

Naru Nods and dashes inside.

"Why don't you got rest in your room a bit until dinner?" says Keitaro.

"Ok Onii-san." says Kanako slipping her arm around her brother. Both of them walk into Hinata Sou and up the stairs followed closely by Silver, Talon and Daimyo Shi. Kanako entered her room reluctantly letting go of Keitaro. Keitaro closed the door behind him as he left.

"I really can feel for her when she like that." says Talon.

"Did she just try to kill Naru?" asks Silver.

"Yeah . . guess that is a bad thing." says Talon.

"Hey did you get the fish?" asks Silver changing the subject.

"Yeah." says Daimyo Shi. "There are in Talon's room."

"Cool, can I see them." asks Silver.

"Sure." says Talon.

All Four of them go to talon's room. Inside they see an empty Fish tank. Talon dashes over to the tank there is water on the floor and on the window sill.

"What the Fuck?" says Daimyo Shi. "They were here."

"I guess it worked too well, they escaped." says Talon.

"Bummer." says Silver

"I am doomed." says Keitaro his tears renewed.

"Hey, we will just have to try again besides they won't live very long with out water will they." says Daimyo Shi. [What does it take to keep this man at least some what happy?]

"Yep, we have to buy chemicals though because we used what we could get away with borrowing from Su." says Talon.

"Well Keitaro, you have to deal with Naru not liking you until tomorrow when we can try again." says Silver.

"Ok." says a down cast Keitaro fighting the tears.

"Anyone want to See what that Angelic Layer is like?" says Silver.

"Why not we got a 20 more minutes until dinner." says Keitaro.

Everyone goes down to the TV room to Watch Angelic Layer with Kitsune.


Mutsumi was coming up the stair with a Big bunch of Bananas in a plastic bag. [Shinobu was really frantic when she called me to get these bananas. I had trouble getting as many as she wanted.] thinks Mutsumi.

As Mutsumi reaches the top of the stair to Hinata Sou, she sees of to her right five large fish-like beings about 5 metres tall dressed in red coats. Mutsumi screams and runs towards Hinata Sou Screaming all the way "The British are Coming, The British are Coming, The British are Coming, The British are Coming!" She dashes into the inn and Daimyo Shi, Talon, Silver, Kitsune, Sarah, Shirai, Haitani and Keitaro look at the cute Watermelon Girl (8).

"There are giant Fish people out there dressed like British soldiers." shouts Mutsumi of course that is the last of her strength and she promptly faints. Talon manages to race up and catch her.

Everyone files out to the front leaving Mutsumi resting on the couch.

"What the Fuck!" says Daimyo Shi as he looks at the five fish men.

"Uh, I guess we know they when, eh?" Says Talon.

"What are you Canadian now? Eh?" says Daimyo Shi

"Hey you wrote it!" says Talon crossly.

"I think we broke the Weird Shit-o-Meter.(9)" says Silver.

"Uh, where is Motoko?" asks Kitsune.

"I don't know." says Daimyo Shi. "Motoko!"

"Here I am, Shi-kun!" says Motoko bouncing from the far right of the group. "What is up, Shi-kun." giggles Motoko.

"What with her?" asks Kitsune.

"Sugar and caffeine high she been drinking Code red: mountain dew all day." says Silver.

"Uh, those fish people want to destroy the Hinata Sou and us. Motoko-chan."

"How dare they!" giggles Motoko As she rips of he Gi and Hakama under neath fortunately for those men present is a set of black pants and long sleeved shirt. At Motoko's belt hands a Light saber. "I will slay them, Talon, Daimyo Shi let's go."

Talon and Daimyo Shi both shrug their shoulders and tear their own clothes of to reveal similar Jedi Outfits under their clothes, Daimyo Shi's bell has two Light saber attached to it. Motoko activates her Light saber which projects a purple blade and readies herself for the battle ahead. Talon readies his light saber as it projects a green blade. Daimyo Shi readies his two blade, one in each hand, one projects a blue blade the other is a Red blade.

"Woah, what are you? A Sith in training?" says Talon.

"Talk later, fight now!" says Daimyo Shi.

One of the fish people lunges at Motoko who dodges out of the way at a speed that is fast for a Jedi. She appears on the other side of the fish and does a jumping upwards slash that cuts the fish person in half lengthwise. Meanwhile Talon slashes at the fish person closest to him causing a slight wound on the clawed hand/fin. Talon dodges the Fishes attack with a one hand cartwheel. Daimyo Shi wounds one cutting off its left claw/fin only to be struck from behind by one of the other fish men. Daimyo Shi is throw forward and skids on the ground. He gets up, his face is scraped up and the sleeve on his right arm is gone. His arm is scratched up, He flicks some blood of his face with his thumb. "Looks like I have to get serious." he telekineticly shoves the fish person away sending it to the ground. He then telekineticly retrieves both his light sabers reactivating them. The fish person gets up to face a leaping Daimyo Shi with two light sabers in slash in towards it. There is a flash of light, and Daimyo Shi lands on the other side of the fish man, who half turns to look at him before it falls into three pieces. Talon takes a running slash at the fish man he fighting and cuts of its head cleanly. The fish man's face seems to have a look of surprise on it. Motoko has moved on to another fish man, she has play fully dodge around it in such a manner that everyone watching she seems to teleport. She throws her Light saber, some how keeping it on and it cuts through the fish man and she is there to catch it on the other side.

"Grigle aglwa gawsp greerrl uGreall." [Translation 'Can't we all get along?']

Talon, Motoko and Daimyo Shi jointly slash at the last one causing it to fall in several dozen pieces.

"Wow that was so Cool!" says Keitaro.

"Yeah! It was like a really good Power Rangers fight without the corny dialogue!" says Haitani [The joy of actual lines!]

Shinobu calls from the front door "Dinner is ready."

Everyone files into Hinata Sou and enters the Dinning room.

There they eat a wonderful Japanese meal in quiet setting.

[Strange no one is talking.] thinks Kitsune.

Shinobu finishes her meal and gets up from the table.

"Eh? Shinobu-chan, what are you doing." asks Silver.

"I have to finish desert before it can be served." says Shinobu.

While everyone finishes their dinner they can here Shinobu working in the kitchen. After a while Shinobu came out with desert for each person. Each was in a classic glass tall sundae dish, at the top two large scoops between which a whole banana pokes straight up with a small amount of whip cream and a cherry on top. Everyone except for Kanako look very shocked as Shinobu pass out the deserts. Kanako leans over and take the banana half way in her mouth and bites it off. The rest those present look at Kanako oddly, Shinobu excepted.

"What?" asks Kanako.

Motoko unsure what to do looks towards Shinobu, who seems to have an impish little grin on her face.

"It just a desert." says Kanako.

"Right, of course." says Daimyo Shi as be begins to dig into the ice cream.

With a little work everyone begins to enjoy there desert pausing only to watch Shinobu copy Kanako's example except she manages to take the banana all the way down to the ice cream. Oh and to watch Mutsumi lick the Whip cream of the top of her banana. Shinobu gather the dishes which her and Naru go into the kitchen to wash them.

Later Keitaro walks to his room downtrodden, he can hear someone come up behind him. He turns around and sees Mutsumi in her wonderful cheerful glory.

"What bothering you Kei-kun?" asks the lovely watermelon girl.

"Naru says she never talking to me again." says Keitaro not really paying attention to whom he is speaking.

"Kei-kun . . . there is something I have been meaning to ask you." says Mutsumi in a uncharacteristic serious voice.

"What is Mutsumi-chan?" says Keitaro with concern.

"Do remember promising a girl when you were about five to go to Todai?" says Mutsumi.

"Huh? . . . how do you know that?" asks Keitaro.

"Kei-kun . . . I was that girl, and no matter what has passed I still love you. I . . . I don't want to hurt you but I have to tell you I love you." says Mutsumi.

Keitaro looks at her in shock and amazement. "But al this time I thought . . . I . . .Naru isn't my promise girl?" an overlay of the girl of his youth and Mutsumi come together and wall of memory wall of glass shatters. Keitaro take a step toward Mutsumi. "I didn't understand . . . I sorry Mutsumi, I just couldn't remember your name. . ." says Keitaro.

"It is alright." says Mutsumi as she embraces Keitaro. "All is forgiven Kei-kun, just let me love you."

"I'm yours Mutsumi." says Keitaro as they both enter Keitaro's room.

"Oh, Kei-kun how do you hid that?" asks Mutsumi in Keitaro's darken room.

Around the corner three eavesdroppers listen to the Two talk.

"Well it may not be back to normal around Naru, but I think I like it this way more anyway." whispers Silver.

"Yep." says Talon.

"Let's get out of here before they find us." says Daimyo Shi.

Talon and Silver leave for there rooms, where as Daimyo Shi turns to leave but turns around to stare at the reader.

"Hey, you have a happy ending! Move on to the notes." says Daimyo Shi crossly. "What you want to see what Mutsumi and Keitaro are doing? It is not happening, I am not writing lemon. Besides I get suspended from Fanfiction.net if I tried to post lemon. Now go on! (10)"


Silver is going by Su's room and she can hear singing from it so she opens the door and sees Su dancing around her computer wearing a red hat and holding a penguin and singing "All hall our savour red hat, we are saved by Linux, Death to Bill Gates causer of our fates. Fight the demon prince with the sword! Let us not be Microsoft bored. To the death we fight, we must kill the Microsoft blight. To make things right. Death to Gates (11)" Su continues to dance as Silver Closes the door and says "I didn't no see that!"



(1) from AVRIL LAVIGNE's "Too Much To Ask"

(2) from AVRIL LAVIGNE's "Anything But Ordinary"

(3) the author bares no responsibility for any brain damage related to attempts to understand this song as his musical abilities are related to karioke.

(4) what I know about Angel layer can be written in a CD case. Everything here is from the Tokyopop Website who are publishing Angel Layer in English.

(5) from AVRIL LAVIGNE's "Complicated"

(6) Fan Fiction Authors for Mutsumi Loves Keitaro.

(7) Uncute is Trademarked and copyrighted to Ranma Saotome

(8) get you mind out of the gutter, she just likes watermelon.

(9) The Weird Shit-o-Metre is a Ghostbusters joke for you fans out there. Also as Homage to the 'Just Another Day' fiction by Silver Raye Adams. Which is why Silver says it.

(10) by this point I have probably convinced you that I am a total Hentai, really it not true.

(11) Yes it even dumber this time around!

This Story is a result of Silver Raye Adams Challenge which required the following: See the first cut for the list.

Japanese Terms

Senpai: Upper classmen or senior

-chan, honorific means small or little often used between parents and children, sometime between friends can be use between lovers too.

-kun, Sort of a male version of Chan but more masculine often used between friends Shi and older people to boys that they know. Kei-kun is a favourite of Mutsumi for Keitaro.

San is Mister or Miss, a polite way to address an inferior or an equal. Note that both this and sama are used with a family name which in Japan come first

Daisho: literally Long and short, it is term that refers to the Katana and Wakazashi as paired, so that they match.

Katana: A Japanese long Sword that has a slightly curved blade, between 80cm and 90cm in Blade length. The sword and soul of a samurai.

Wakazashi: A Japanese short Sword that also has a Slightly Curved blade, between 60 and 70 cm. A secondary sword for Samurai.

Kamidana: A Home Shrine to the Kami.

Tatami: Floor mats often seen in Hinata Sou. They are a traditional mat made of rice Straw.

Hai: Yes

Baka: idiot

Todai: Tokyo University.

Tenno, Japanese emperor, this Word is only used with the Japanese emperor. I am unsure of an exact translation because I never seen the kanji for this term however, it likely includes ten the character for heaven.

Onii-san Big brother

Oni many things but Demon is what I meant.

Owari the end