~The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions 
It's littered with broken dreams 
That never quite came true 
When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying 
And she does her best to hide the pain that she's been through~

It's nobody's fault but mine. I've always been the one to screw up whatever good things I have been given, out of habit because I want to hurt them before they hurt me. She was different, though. She was the first thing in my life that was good, pure, and MINE...

But, that wasn't enough, I guess. I knew what hell she'd been through, and, I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't put her through it again. That she was safe with me. But, I'm no better than him. I did the same thing he did, only worse, because, she expected it of him. With me, she felt safe...

~When she cries at night 
And she doesn't think that I can hear her 
She tries to hide all the fear she feels inside 
So I pray this time 
I can be the man that she deserves 
'Cause I die a little each time 
When she cries~

I've never loved anyone the way that I love her. I will always love her, and I'm not going to let this happen. She deserves better, and, damnit, I'm going to give her better. Better than me--- the me before. The me that didn't trust...

I made her cry. Me. That's not the way it's supposed to be, damnit. I'm the one who comforts her, who gets to hold her, stroke her soft, silky hair, make it all BETTER...

Shit, I'm NOT supposed to be the person who caused her hurt... 

~She's always been there for me 
Whenever I've fallen 
When nobody else believed 
She'd be there by my side 
I don't know how she takes it 
Just once I'd like to make it 
Then there'll be tears of joy 
That fill her loving eyes~

She told me she loved me. I couldn't say it back. I always did, though. I knew that I did, I was just afraid. Afraid that once I admitted it, I would loose her. Something would happen. She'd leave, or be hit by a bus, I dunno; it's stupid, I guess.

But, something DID happen. I said it, and it was too late. She doesn't love ME now. Or, she SAYS she doesn't. I think maybe part of her still does, maybe I can remind her... But, I don't want to hurt her anymore... 

~When she cries at night 
And she doesn't think that I can hear her 
She tries to hide all the fear she feels inside
So I pray this time 
I can be the man that she deserves 
'Cause I die a little each time 
When she cries~

There's this big part of me that was actually PROUD of her, y'know? Sick as that is, I was proud of  her for standing up for herself. I wanted her  to fling herself in my arms, but, I don't deserve that. I will, though. I will make her understand...

Or, maybe she doesn't have to. Maybe she can just forgive, maybe that's enough.

I just want to hold her, to tell her, "I love you, baby; you make me wanna be a better man."

But, she's not ready yet. I made her cry.

If it takes the rest of my life... I'll make it better... so help me... 

~So I pray this time 
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries...~