Mystical Cheese: Grand Theft Auto style

The day had begun as any other day, it was cloudy outside and things were rather boring. The police were gathering up the last few bank robbers who laid in the street, body pieces here, and body pieces there. One police man looked over and noticed a small piece of finely cut cheese staring at him, questioning. Trying to ignore the intense piece of cheese, the police man continued his work.

A few minutes passed as the bodies were being collected, and the cheese just slunked around. Having found a weapon of sorts, he looked up once again at the police man and then made his way over to the man. Grinning a cheesely grin, he hit the officer right in the knees with the nicely formed club. Shrieking the man looked right at the pretty piece of cheese and smiled. "Well, even though that hurt tremendously my perfect piece of cheese. Everything is going to be fine. You see, you are such a pretty piece of cheese, I am going to take you home in my police car. It does not matter that I am in pain, no no, quite the contary, I shall name you Barney. Now, let us go!" And so, Barney the cheese and Mister Police man went over to get into the shiny police car.

After stopping for some ever hot and soothing coffee, and some perfect glazed and holed doughnuts, Barney the cheese and the officer began to cruise around the city. Never did the police person know that Barney was pondering in his mind. Never did he know that Barney was fixing to wreck havoc. And then it happened, oh yes, did it ever happen. Barney leaped onto the police officer, knocking him useless. Barney grinned again and stopped the car, pushing the silly man out. And as a nice gesture, the cheese took the hat off of the man and put it on himself, for it looked nice on a piece of cheese, very nice and sexy.

Driving along one of the main roads, Barney noticed a group of squirrels running merrily along in a park, eating some dropped popcorn. He brought the police vehicle to a sudden halt and lept out of the car in a rage. Rabidly, Barney chased each squirrel until he brought it under his control. Then the sweet cheese began to gnaw on each, taking in their flesh, and enjoying every bite of their delicate fur.

Barney the cheese was happy, happy and innocent. For he was a piece of cheese, a piece of wonderful pretty cheese. The day was going to be wondeful, simply wondeful.