Nine Months Later
"Oh!" Caesar shouted, clapping his hands.
"Get 'im! Get 'im!" Gunner called through cupped hands as he hooted and hollered.
"Atta girl!" Barney was yelling. Tool and Lee were shouting encouragements as well. Toll was running alongside the field.
"Go, Nikita!" he was shouting. "Go, go, go!"
Nikita had the soccer ball and was bee lining straight for the net. She'd taken out a player who had charged her, which was why Caesar and Gunner were egging her on.
"YEA!" all six men bellowed when Nikita scored. She jumped up and down excitedly, waving at her family on the sidelines.
"Damn, she's fast," Tool said after, laughing. Gunner and Caesar high fived each other. Toll was talking to the other teammates as Barney and Lee bumped fists and grinned at each other.
It was nine months after Hector. It was June, and Nikita was doing well in school and had joined the soccer team. Toll was the coach, which Barney had encouraged him to do. Toll didn't go on missions anymore, not with Nikita in his care. The team had understood that. Nikita had settled into routine with Toll quite easily. Barney had Tool sketch her memory of her parents, so she had a drawn photo of them in a frame added to the shelf beside Toll and Lori's wedding photo. Lee had stitched up her teddy bear as promised, and she started leaving it at home more and more as she felt safer. She had agreed to meet with Toll's therapist, and she was working through her past trauma and working towards healing from it.
"What did I miss?" Emma asked, arriving then.
"Ah, the librarian," Barney noted, smiling. "How's it going?"
"Good. Sorry I'm late. There was a book crisis," she replied, covering her eyes with her hand to find Toll.
"There's such a thing as a book crisis?" Lee asked, surprised.
"Oh yes. If you don't have what the people want, it can get ugly," she smiled. Lee wasn't sure if she was teasing him or not, but he let it go.
"Hey," Toll said, approaching her. "You made it."
"I did. What did I miss?"
"Nikita kicking ass," Toll answered, laughing. He watched Nikita chatting with her team and smiling. He was glad she was finally making some friends. The slumber parties took a lot out of him, though. Thankfully Emma helped out a lot.
"That's my girl," Emma grinned. She looked at Barney and the others before looking back at Toll meaningfully.
"We know you two are doing it," Barney commented. "It's no big secret." Emma's face went scarlet, as did Toll's. They turned to face the other way to avoid the smirks from the guys.
"Sorry for him," Toll said.
"It's okay. He's just jealous," Emma winked. Toll kissed the side of her head then. He had been brave enough to ask her out four months ago thanks to Nikita's continued prompting and urging him to try dating again. He did like Emma, and it had been a long time since Lori had died. His therapist even agreed that trying to date meant he was healing. Toll did not hide anything from Emma, though, and he was surprised when she revealed her father had been a mercenary and knew all about that kind of life. She knew Toll had retired, though, but she enjoyed spending time with Barney and the gang when they were around. Emma even knew the truth about Nikita, and she had commended Toll on taking her in.
"Emma!" Nikita called, jogging over to them. She was almost nine. Her birthday was in a few days. She had told Toll at Christmas when he'd asked what day it was. The guys had done their best to make it a good Christmas for her, and she had been blown away by their efforts. Tool's drawing of her parents being one of the gifts she had received. Barney had told her it was for something else when he had her describe her parents to Tool, so she had been very blown away when she saw the drawing. Toll looked at it every day, and it gave him an idea. He was saving the surprise for her birthday.
"Hey! Great job today," Emma said, hugging Nikita. "You're gonna go pro I think."
"You think so?" Nikita asked hopefully.
"Oh yes," Emma nodded. The whistle blew, and it was time for the game to continue.
"Go get 'em," Toll said to her, ruffling her hair before she took off. He smiled to himself as he watched her get right back into the game. Things were finally good, and he hoped they would remain that way for a long time.
Days Later
"You really should consider a different career," Tool commented as he appraised Caesar's cake he was working on for Nikita's birthday.
"I just enjoy the process," Caesar replied. "It's relaxing."
Tool nodded and turned to look at Gunner and Lee, who were putting up the streamers and balloons. Gunner was getting more tangled up in the streamers than anything, so Lee was constantly untangling him from them. The occasional bang of a balloon popping echoed in the room as Gunner accidentally stepped on one every so often.
"How?" Lee asked after the fourth time. "How are you not seeing them there?"
"I dunno," Gunner answered.
"You guys are terrible at this," Barney said, going to the rescue. He swiftly and efficiently tacked up the decorations with no issues at all.
"They're gonna be here soon," Tool said. "We got everything?"
"Barbecue is up and running. Lots of burgers and sausages. Cake. Drinks. I think we got it all," Caesar said, ticking his fingers as he went over the list.
"Gifts?" Tool asked.
"That table over there," Caesar pointed.
"Okay," Tool nodded, heading over there to place his gift. He'd done another drawing of Nikita's parents based from the first one he'd done. She always talked about them dancing, so he drew that scene for her. When she was old enough, he promised to do a tattoo for her.
"How are we doing?" Toll asked, entering then. Emma was bringing Nikita from school.
"Good. I think," Barney answered. He tilted his head as he surveyed his last tape job of balloons.
BANG!
"Sorry," Gunner said. Another balloon had met its untimely death.
"Do you just not watch where your feet go?" Lee asked, incredulous. Barney snickered.
"Nice party," Church's voice said as he entered. "Who's getting older?"
"Nikita," Toll answered, going over to him. "You bring it?"
"No, I just came to hang out," Church answered sarcastically. "Of course I brought it." He handed Toll the package, and Toll peeked inside at the contents.
"Awesome. Thanks so much," Toll said.
"No problem. It would have just gotten tossed anyway," Church replied.
"You wanna stick around?" Toll asked.
"Nah. I don't do parties or happiness," Church said, making a face. "But thanks."
"See ya later, Church," Barney called. Church gave a nod of his head before exiting. Barney hoped they wouldn't be hearing from him any time soon.
"Who took my ninth candle?" Caesar called. "Huh? Who?!"
"I didn't touch your damn candles," Lee said.
"Innocent," Tool said, holding up his hands.
Gunner was smirking, which gave him away.
"Come on, man," Caesar said. "Why?"
"Cos it got you in a dither," Gunner answered. "Which is always fun to watch."
"Give it. Now," Caesar ordered. "Don't make me unleash Sister on you." His fingers dangled near where the knife was holstered.
"All right, all right," Gunner said, pulling the candle out from his shirt pocket. Caesar snatched it and glared at him before going to put it with the rest on the cake.
"I wonder how his wife feels about him being the woman of the house?" Lee asked.
"I heard that!" Caesar called. "And I'll have you know that she appreciates my cooking way better than you assholes do."
"I was referring to your fits," Lee corrected.
"I do not have fits..." Caesar started.
"Oh, please," Barney cut in. "You have fits, man."
"He even stamps his foot," Gunner snorted in laughter over him.
"I do not!" Caesar exclaimed, stamping his foot on cue before catching himself and cursing. Barney, Lee, and Gunner started to howl in laughter now. Tool watched, amused.
"Shut up, shut up, she's here," Toll interrupted as a car approached.
"More fool you," Caesar said, getting the last word in. "There is nothing wrong with being compared to a woman. I'm taking it as a compliment."
"Okay, Marie," Gunner smirked. Caesar jabbed him in response. Lee stepped in before it got out of control. Toll went to the door and gave everyone a warning glance to stop them goofing around. They cleared their throats and stood to attention.
"Hey," Toll said, opening the door to Emma and Nikita. "Good day?"
"They had cupcakes for me at school," Nikita answered, smiling. "And I got a card with a gift card in it."
"Awesome," Toll smiled. "Come on in." He moved aside for her to come in.
"Surprise!" Caesar shouted. A chorus of "Happy Birthdays" followed from the others. Nikita was blushing a little at the surprise as she went to hug them all.
"Did you get it?" Emma asked after giving Toll a kiss.
"Yea," he answered.
"She's gonna be so thrilled."
"I know. I can't wait," Toll smiled. Caesar put the birthday hat on Nikita and took dinner requests as Lee went to the barbecue out back. Barney went out to join him.
"Makes you think, huh?" he commented. Lee looked at him.
"About what?"
"Settling down. Having kids."
"That didn't work out for me, remember?" Lee pointed out. He and Lacy were still in touch but just as friends. He hadn't met anyone else yet, nor was he looking.
"Well, it's never too late," Barney said.
"You gonna become the family man, are you?" Lee asked. "At this age?"
"I might," Barney answered, sticking his cigar into his mouth and grinning before going for a small stroll while he smoked.
"Okay," Caesar said, coming out with the meat. "You got this, right?"
"I know how to cook, Caesar," Lee said, annoyed.
"Yes because that roast you did last week was so well done," Caesar said sarcastically.
"I did not know that the slow cooker had blown the breaker and turned off," Lee insisted.
"Amateur," Caesar sniffed.
"Say that again when I'm not trapped by a barbecue," Lee threatened. Caesar disappeared inside before finding out if Lee was willing to sacrifice dinner to slap him around with the pair of tongs in his hand. Barney came back and supervised until it was all ready. Everyone clamored around getting their food and condiments. Nikita giggled at their antics. She loved her new family. She still missed her parents like crazy, but she could cope better with it when she had the guys and Emma there to help.
When it was time for gifts, Gunner had his out first. Nikita almost dropped it when he handed it to her.
"What did you give her? Lead?" Barney asked.
"A box of bullets?" Caesar joked.
"Better not be a grenade set," Toll warned.
"Oh my," Emma chuckled nervously. She didn't really know what to think of these guys sometimes, but she loved them.
"Wow," Nikita said, opening it to find a wooden plaque with her name and designs carved into it.
Barney whistled.
"I'm impressed," Lee said, leaning in to look at it better over Nikita's shoulder.
"I thought you just whittled because you were bored not because you actually made stuff," Caesar said.
"I started that soon after you joined our family," Gunner said to Nikita, ignoring the others. "I just finished two days ago."
"I love it. Thank you," Nikita said, going to hug him and kiss his cheek. Gunner felt very warm inside at the affection. Having her around reminded him of the girl he hadn't been able to save, yes, but he made it his mission to never let anything happen to Nikita. They all had really.
"Me next," Caesar said. He handed his package to her.
"I thought Toll would be the one to give her a book," Tool commented. "He's always got his nose buried in one."
"My girls love this," Caesar said over Tool.
"Cool!" Nikita crowed. It was a book on different styles of braids for her hair. Caesar earned himself a hug and a kiss too.
Tool went next. Nikita's eyes were wet at the sight of her parents in a drawing dancing. Tool got an extra long hug for that. Barney's gift was smaller. She gasped at the sight of the silver chain with the letter "N" at the end. The "N" had a vine of roses around it, and the roses were colored red.
"Very beautiful," Emma said. Toll wondered if Barney had put a tracking device in it in case something happened in the future. The wink he got from Barney over Nikita's shoulder as she hugged him confirmed his theory.
"Okay," Lee said, handing her his gift. "Now, you can't use it til you're older..."
"Oh no, you didn't," Toll started as Nikita opened it.
"My very own knife? For me?" she asked, astonished. Her name was engraved on the handle.
"I think everyone should have their own blade," Lee shrugged when Toll gave him a look. "Keep it safe until you're old enough to use it."
"I love it," she said, beaming. Lee laughed when she hugged him hard.
"Best for last," Toll said. Emma had given Nikita her gift in the car on the way over. It was a charm bracelet. She couldn't wait to give it to her, which Toll found very cute.
"Another book?" Nikita asked, teasing as she took the package from him.
"You'll see," Toll said. Emma squeezed his hand then.
"Oh...oh wow," Nikita said, putting a hand over her mouth when she pulled the frame out of the package. She started to cry as she pulled out two smaller frames and a letter.
"Holy shit, Toll," Caesar said, seeing what it was. Gunner nudged him.
"Language," he scolded.
"How did you get this?" Nikita asked Toll.
"Church. He called in a favor, and they sent it to him."
"I thought I'd never see a picture of them again," Nikita said, looking down at her lap. The first photo was of her father and mother on their wedding day. The second was of her mother holding Nikita as a baby. The third was the last photo they had taken together a couple of months before her father died.
"They from his desk at work?" Barney asked Toll, who nodded.
Nikita picked up the letter then, knowing it was from her father. She recognized his handwriting.
"Why don't you read that when you're alone," Toll suggested. "I think it's meant for your eyes only."
"Okay," she nodded, sliding it back into the package with the pictures. "Thank you. All of you. I love you."
"We love you too, darlin'," Barney answered for all of them.
It was a pretty good birthday indeed.
Later-Nikita
She was alone in her bedroom after the party. She was tired, but she wanted to know what was in that letter. She could hear Toll and Emma talking in the other room. Emma was on the verge of moving in, Nikita knew. She was glad that Toll had risked for love again.
Her heart was beating fast as she pulled out the letter. She could almost smell him on the pages, and her eyes teared up. She blinked so she could see the paper.
My Darling, Nikita,
I write this letter because I never know what is going to happen to me on the job. I think of you and your mother often, and I know I can't keep this way of life much longer. I don't want to miss out on every milestone you're going to approach. As I write this, you have just turned seven. You're so bright for your age, and your laugh always makes my day. When I was a young man, I had no idea I'd get so lucky as to have someone like your mother in my life let alone an amazing daughter like you. I hope you never read this letter, but if you are, then it means I'm no longer there. I wish for that to never happen, but like I said, this job is unpredictable. Be good for your mother, and be good for me. You're strong and brave, and I know that wherever you are, you'll be doing just fine and moving forward because you have both your mother and I flowing in your veins. I love you, Nikita. Wherever I am, I will always love you. Remember that.
Your Daddy
She found another small note tucked in the envelope, and she smiled as she read her mother's words to her father, telling him to have a good day and that she loved him forever.
"Hey," Toll said, opening her bedroom door just as she finished reading. She was openly crying now. "You read it."
"Uh huh."
"Was it sad?"
"No. It was really nice. He wrote it in case he died," Nikita answered. She didn't tell him about the one her mother had written. It was her secret.
"I kind of thought that," Toll sighed, sitting down beside her on the bed. "You okay?"
"Yea."
"The ones we love and lost are never gone, you know that right? They're always with us," Toll said after a moment.
"I know."
"I know I'll never be your Dad, but I'll be the best uncle I can be," Toll promised.
"You're already doing a good job," Nikita smiled, wiping at her tears.
"Good. I'm glad."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
They hugged, and then Nikita tucked her letter away before getting underneath the covers. Toll shut her lamp off and stopped at her door before leaving, looking at her. His life was forever changed, and he knew then that if he had to do it over, he wouldn't change a damn thing.
He closed the door softly and went back to Emma. They were moving forward, and he was happy. He'd survived.
Come what may. He'd be ready.
He'd survive again.
The End
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