Sometimes you can't help the way you feel. When you start to get a crush on someone, you don't know what to do next. Do you tell him? Or do you keep it to yourself until you feel like your heart is going to burst? Confessing your 'love' for someone can be a dangerous thing. You don't know if he will feel the same way. If he doesn't then there's only one way to go. You get shot down.
Of course, it could go an entirely different way. He would look me in the eyes and say, "I love you too!" Then he would take me in his arms and kiss me passionately. I would kiss him back and that would be the beginning of everything. I know we could be perfect together, if only we were given the chance.
I first met him briefly during a thanksgiving holiday we had while I was still at high school. He was a college guy, kind of immature but cute all the same. I said I met him 'briefly' because we hardly said two words to each other. We were both busy doing our own thing to have a proper conversation.
I just never knew I could start to have a crush on him years later when we met again by chance in a bar. It was early last year, I was with my friends celebrating that in an exactly a year's time I would be a married woman. To tell the truth, that scared me a lot. I was 24 years old and I was going to spend the rest of my life with a man whose idea of a great time was putting golf balls in a hole with his friends. I told my friends how I would just love one last fling with the next guy I see to 'get it out of my system'.
Then he came out of nowhere to my table, saying he had just 'dropped his ball.' I regret now the way I treated him. I was different back then. I spent my days doing nothing but shop for clothes and living off my fiancés money. So I just said, "So?" How stupid of me. I had missed my chance. A few minutes later I saw him again when I was briefly reunited with my old school friend, Monica Geller. He held up his ball from the pool table with an embarrassed smile. I just turned my nose up at him, but subconsciously I guess I secretly felt flattered he'd noticed me.
As I drove my friends home, I daydreamed about him. I imagined he was in the bar alone and I walked in…then one quick movement I turned on the jukebox and the room filled with seductive music. He slowly walked up to me and I ran my hands through his hair as we kissed. Then one of my stupid friends woke me up telling me we had missed the next exit. Damn. I would have loved to know what happened next.
I didn't see him again until my wedding day, when I finally realised I didn't love my fiancé. He looked so amazing…clean shaven and a gorgeous smile to match. Now, I live in Monica's apartment and I see him everyday. I still dream about him. I once confessed to him that I did it with him on the table at Central Perk, which was ironically where the bar used to be.
Chandler Bing, I am totally in love with you. You will never know, because I will never tell you. I love the way you smile, the way you talk…the way you do that little dance whenever something pleases you. I love the way your blue eyes light up when you're laughing and how you tease Joey for being 'Joey'. I'm sorry I called you 'smirky' on Thanksgiving a few months ago when we were all locked out of the apartment. Having an argument with you is sometimes the only way I can react to you.
I wish you could see how much I care for you, but I know you have eyes for someone else so you never will see. If you ever have the guts to tell Monica how you feel about her, I hope she will love you as much as I do.
Maybe this really is just a crush that will go away and one day I will find someone that loves me, but for now I will continue to dream about you and what it could have been like to be called Mrs Rachel Bing.
:I don't think I'll be continuing this, it's only a little scene filler and it's just before Rachel found out about Ross so the 'crush' would go away, but please review anyway!: