Bella Swan/is an idiot

"Let me get this straight ... you tried to jump a fence because you thought that a cat was a raccoon?"

The nurse has probably seen it all but this perplexes her for some reason.

I nod my head and point to the deep gash in my calf.

This baby is going to hurt something fierce in the morning.

"I think we should focus on fixing the hole in my leg before I bleed to death and not on how I got it."

Her lips form a thin line as she not so gently wraps the blood pressure cuff around my arm.

Looks like my evening visit to the emergency room is going to be interesting in the most painful of ways.

It wouldn't be the first time my mouth has gotten me in trouble.

I can damn sure promise you that it's not going to be the last.