Skurge. Skurge, sweetie stop…. You said you would make this story interesting.

… I AM.

No… no you're not. You need to add a little zazz to it!


Watch and learn sweetie, watch and learn.

Now I would love to talk about the hunk that is Thor, but this story actually starts eons before Thor was even a twinkle is his Father's eye.

Asgardians were the most feared soldiers in all the realms, and they didn't hesitate to kill anyone or anything that stood in their way. Odin, King of Asgard, and his loyal daughter Hela, Goddess of Death led their soldiers to victory after victory.

Everyone and everything fell to their knees before the pair, even the mighty Jotunn…. But Odin soon grew weary of a life of war, happy to have conquered nine realms as he retreated into the life of a peaceful King.

Hela was not as happy… in fact, she wasn't happy at all.

She rebelled.

Well, I don't want to bore everyone with the gory details, but Odin won the drawn-out battle. All of the Valkyrie were dead, but he was successful and as punishment, he forced his daughter to the depths of Niflheim, ordering her to rule over that realm and only come out when she was needed.

And he planned for her to never be needed again.

And of course, with his oldest practically banished to the most depressing realm ever, Odin and Frigga needed to get busy and make another heir… which is where Thor comes in.


"Thor…" Frigga chuckled warmly, prying her hair out of her son's tiny hands, "… behave yourself!"

The blonde baby simply giggled up at his mother, tiny fists waving in the air as he placed in a golden cot that was situated next to the throne of his Father.

"Look at him…" Odin muttered fondly, pulling his wife close as he allowed his new-born son to grab his finger and tug on it, "… he looks just like you. Just like my beautiful wife."

"Flattery will get you everywhere my dear."

It was at this moment, that Balder nervously approached them. As a younger member of the court, he had very limited interactions with the royal family… this was probably the closest he'd been.

"Y-Your highness's?"

Frigga glanced over at the young man and smiled fondly as he held up a small bouquet of flowers.

"Oh Balder…" she shifted Thor into the crook of one arm and gratefully took the bouquet, "… how lovely!"

"Thank you, Your Highness…" he bowed lowly, "… I made the arrangement myself. It contains flowers from every each one of the nine realms and- "He stopped in his tracks and flushed in embarassment, "- and I'm babbling, which you don't wish to hear." He then turned to Odin and bowed again, "A truly memorable party My King. One that will be in the memories of all for many years to come."

As Odin nodded his thanks, he failed to notice how Thor squirmed in his mothers' arms, reaching out and trying to grab Gungnir, Odins' spear that had once been an instrument of war.

"Odin…" Frigga gave her husband a warning glare, "… Did you really need to bring that to the party?

Glancing over at his son and the baby's desperate attempts to grab the spear, Odin shrugged. "It won't do him any harm to touch it. It's harmless."

When Thor was able to finally grab the spear, he managed to yank it out of his Father's hands, throwing it against the ground and giggling.

"Hmmm…" Odin muttered, wincing slightly as Frigga rolled her eyes, "… he's a little stronger than I thought."

Before Frigga could say anything, Odin cleared his throat and summoned the spear back to his grip. "On behalf of my son, I would like to thank you all for your wonderful gifts!"

"And what about our gift dear?"

"Of course my love…" Odin slammed his stick against the ground and there was a rumbling sound from far down below. Eventually, a large hammer came crashing through the doors, forcing people to practically dive to the side before Odin caught it in his spare hand.

"Mjolnir?" Frigga hissed in shock, "You're giving him Mjolnir?!"

"It is the perfect weapon for a prince of Asgard. Mjolnir will help him control any powers he might develop. When he is worthy, he will wield it proudly."

"But only when he's old enough. No battles before he's sixteen."

"Yes dear."

Frigga gave her husband a fond smile, before coming to a decision in her mind, walking a little bit closer and holding Thor out, practically forcing Odin to take the child in his arms. "Mind his head dear."

"… He's so tiny."

Thor was clearly thrilled to be in his Father's arms, reaching up to try and grab Odin's beard, before turning his attention to the pendant attached to his nightshirt. For a couple of minutes, he was content, until he eventually yawned, eyes slowly blinking shut.

Odin couldn't help but smile at the baby, walking over to the golden cot and placed Thor back in it. "Sleep well, my little Thunder God."

"How sentimental…."

Everything seemed to go dark and cold as the party-goers turned to the entrance to the Great Hall, several flinching back as a familiar figure sauntered into the room.

Hel smirked at the fear in their eyes, her scraggly black hair almost covering her eyes as her heels clicked across the floor.

"I wondered when you'd get around to knocking Mummy up again…" Hela smirked, "… You took your time Father. It not working as it should?"

As she walked up to her parents, her smirk only widened as people continued to back away from her. Quickly, Odin made his way down the steps, fists clenched in anger. "How dare you…" he hissed, "… I don't recall summoning you here."

"Oh, I'm fine Dad…" Hel exclaimed sarcastically, "… and things are fine in Niflheim, thank you for asking." She shouldered past her father, heading straight towards the cot where Thor lay, "And look at you… the second-born."

"And heir to the throne Hel, do not forget that."

Hel ignored her Father, conjuring a spiked skull rattle out of nowhere and holding it out to the giggling baby.

Before Odin or Frigga could even think about grabbing the spiked object, Thor made that move for them. Instead of grabbing the toy however, he grabbed Hel's finger, causing her to wince with the strength.

"Strong… isn't he." Hel cooed, snatching her finger back.

Odin was the only one who had the audacity to laugh at his daughter, "Very… and with a good heart. Which is more than what I can say for you."

"Charming…" Hel hissed, "… well, lucky for you Father, I won't be hanging around. I do have a full-time job that you so lovingly bestowed on me."

"Good…. leave."

Hel mockingly bowed, a wicked smirk on her face, before shadows seemed to surround her and she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

However, despite her calm appearance, she was furious.

And if there's one person you don't want to get steamed up, it's Hel…. Because she had an evil plan. As soon as she arrived at the gates of his kingdom, Hel bellowed up the stairs.

"Fenrir! Jörmungandr!"

Out of the darkness, a giant wolf and a giant serpent came shuffling forwards, both practically brushing up against Hel.

"Hello my darlings…" she whispered, hands brushing against their fur and scales, "… are the Norns here yet?"

They both nodded, moving to one side as Hel smirked, moving over to the ornate doorway, gliding through it and into the council room.

"Hold that thread of life nice and tight now," crooned a soft female voice.

There was a loud SNAP, before a pained bellow echoed throughout the room, closely followed by a ghostly figure flying through the entrance, heading straight for the Underworld as the soul count went up by one.

The sound and sight were un-nerving, but Hel was unbothered, making her way over to the Norns.

"My apologies for being late." She skipped past the greeting, "… you understand why I'm sure."

The Norns all nodded silently.

"Yes, I know you've just been to see my new baby brother correct?" She took a deep breath, "So, you've seen his future. Is he going to get in the way?"

The Norns all glanced at one another, as though having a silent conversation.

"I know, I know you're not meant to reveal the future…" Hel waved her hand in dismissal, "… but let's think about this. Either you tell me… or you get eaten by Fenrir here. Try spending the rest of eternity inside a wolf's stomach."

This seemed to get their attention, as one by one, they all straightened up, their eyes glowing a brilliant white.

"In eighteen year precisely…" they all said at once, "… the planets will align ever so nicely."

Hel resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the rhyming, remaining silent so as not to interrupt the fates.

"The time to act will be at hand. Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band! Then the once-proud Odin will finally fall… And you, Hel, will rule all!"

Just as a triumphant smirk appeared on her face, one of the fates turned her face, looking her directly in the eyes.

"But a word of caution to this tale... should Thor fight, you will fail."

With a loud pop, the three Norns disappeared.

"What?!" Hel hissed, darkness encompassing the entire room, before she quickly calmed down, "Right… okay." She spun around on her heel and headed towards some doors that led further into her kingdom, closely followed by Fenrir and Jörmungandr.

"Hmmm, I have a little riddle for you two…" she hummed, "… how do you kill a God?"

Jörmungandr hissed, prompting her to turn to him and smirk, "Correct… you can't. They're immortal. Which means we need to turn my little brother…" She paused and grabbed a small vial of pink liquid, "… mortal."


Less than a month later, night was falling across Asgard.

Baby Thor was cuddled up to his teddy, hand loosely clutching his blankets as he slept peacefully… unaware of the shadows creeping across the walls of his room.

In the next room over, Odin and Frigga were startled awake by a loud crash and the cry of a baby.

"Thor!" Frigga cried out, leaping out of bed and racing towards her son's room, throwing open the door, only to fall back against Odin, who had followed her in.

"No…" he whispered, when he realised why his wife had practically collapsed, "… NO!"

"Thor!" Frigga called out, her eyes on the over-turned cradle and the abandoned toy lying beside it, "THOR!"


Fenrir and Jörmungandr paid no heed to the heart-broken cry, diving into the hidden passageways as they made their way to Midgard.

Shifting into human forms, they darted into a nearby alleyway, just as the baby started to cry.

"Let'sssssss get thisssss over with." Jörmungandr hissed, as Fenrir pulled the potion vial out of a weathered brown satchel and shoved it into Thor's mouth.

"Come on…" he growled, as Thor gulped it down greedily, "… get it down kid."

The glow of Thor's skin started to fade with every drop that he drank, prompting Jörmungandr to quiver in excitement, "Now?"

"No! He has to drink it all! Every last drop!"

"Who's there?!"

Both Fenrir and Jörmungandr panicked, dropping the potion vial and the baby, before disappearing into the shadows, shifting into smaller versions of their natural selves. However, in their haste to get away, the pair of them missed the fact that one drop was still left in the vial, hanging onto the glass for a few moments before it dropped to the ground, quickly absorbed by the dirt.

Watching from the shadows, they saw a human man emerge from around the corner, torch landing on Thor instantly.

"Oh dear God!" he cried, rushing over and lifting the baby into his arms, glancing around for anyone nearby.

Fenrir and Jörmungandr glanced at one another, both coming to a decision in their minds, before moving closer to the unsuspecting man.

"Abandoned huh?" The man was whispering to the baby, examining the name that was sewed onto the blanket, "Thor?"

It was then he spotted the creatures skulking towards him, crying out in alarm, stumbling back and falling on his arse, back against the wall. However, the baby in his arms simply squealed in delight, grabbing the snake and using it like a whip against the large wolf.

With the wolf subdued, the baby tied the snake around its neck like a noose and threw them away as hard as he could, watching as they disappeared into the distance.

With them gone, the baby glanced back at the shocked man and giggled.


When they landed in a tree, quickly shifting out of their animal forms.

"What are we going to do?" Jor hissed, "Hel is not going to be happy."

"… So, we don't let her find out."


It was tragic.

Odin and Frigga led the Gods on a frantic search for their new-born son, but by the time they found Thor, it was too late.

Thor was mortal now.

But since he did not drink the last drop, he still retained his God-like strength.

Frigga wept the night he was found, knowing that her son could never come home, knowing that she would have her precious baby grow up from afar.

Even though Hel's horrid plan took place before Thor's first tooth, the baby grew stronger every day.

Which wasn't always a good thing.