Stab stab stab
My vision was getting blurry. I held onto Satou's shoulders to keep my balance. This was the 6th or 7th round, or was it 8th? I couldn't keep the count.
Stab stab stab
The knife was pulled out. I didn't feel it. My whole body was numb and the death was near. These training sessions had been Satou's idea but I hadn't protested against it. I wanted to improve my resetting time to the same level as Satou's. It used to take me about ten seconds or more to come back to life, but now, it only took about seven or six seconds. Satou's record was three seconds which was quite impressive. My feet were shaking to keep up standing now.
"Ah, alright! Let's call it a day," Satou spoke up as if he hadn't just stabbed me six times in the row. The man was always so casual about everything. I focused on my breathing and kept my hands pressed on his shoulders. Then my foot slipped underneath and I lost my balance, knocking myself against Satou. The older man made a small surprised noise and laughed it off while holding me up.
"Maybe I should stab you a few times more... Your body is not giving up even though you have lost so much blood already," Satou meant it as a compliment and patted gently on my back. I realised at that moment our arms were tied around each other. It would have been romantic if I wasn't bleeding to death and he wouldn't be smiling. My focus drifted from my breathing to how Satou's arms felt and how close his face was to mine. It always amused me that the man was much shorter than me. Whenever he gave orders, he had to move his head up. I never teased him about it though.
A part me really wanted to fall all over Satou but I knew having my weight on top of him could hurt him. Besides, he wouldn't like to have my blood messing his clothes. I let myself enjoy the short moment before passing out and I closed my eyes. Satou didn't move his body away as my limbs lost their strength and I took my last breath, resting my cheek against his neck. When I woke up, my wounds healed and energy back up, I was still held by Satou.
"Five seconds. That's a new record, Tanaka-kun," the man announced, ignoring the fact he was embracing me.
"That's...great," I managed to answer. My cheeks were flushed from embarrassment or from something else entirely. Our companionship had turned into a friendship but we didn't call each other friends yet. I thought Satou wanted to keep some distance between us by not addressing me as someone close. But I saw him as my friend. Sometimes I wished Satou was more than a friend. He had done so much for me. Of course, having a crush on him was ridiculous. Satou never showed any interest in other people in a romantic or sexual way. Until we started training together.
I lifted my head slowly off him to look at his face. The moment was awfully sensual since neither of us pulled away. My mind played different scenarios about possible outcomes and I felt even more embarrassed with myself. I couldn't help it but feel a little bad to sexualise much older man in his 60s. Like I was taking advantage of his pure kindness and twisting it into something dirty.
"Tanaka-kun... Why do you stare at me like that?" Satou asked but never dropping the smile. I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. I sucked at lying and Satou knew it well.
"W-why are you staring me back then?"
"I dunno," the man shrugged, "I wanted to see what would happen." Satou was pulling his arms away but I stopped him by gripping him harder. I didn't want this to end. I didn't want us to move along and act like there was nothing between us. I needed a proper sign.
"Like what?" I asked instead. Satou's eyes opened slightly, enough to see an odd gleam in them. He huffed under his breath and his arms were back around me. This time, his other hand holding my waist.
"I bet you know better. You've been behaving strangely around me lately. Are these training sessions too much?"
"No, no, not at all... Well, they are kinda brutal but I have experienced worse. As long as they please you, I'm fine with it."
"Please me?" Satou cocked his eyebrow. I stuttered to correct my answer but it was already too late. I didn't mean to offend him.
"Do you actually think killing you pleases me? Who do you see me as? A murderer?" the older man laughed to his joke. I wasn't planning to speak about murdering people because that wasn't what I needed to hear from him. Satou always had some crazy ideas whenever the subject hinted towards violence. I tried my luck for a second time.
"I meant... I don't want to bring you down. If you want to play video games, get guns, train or make me kill, I'll do it," my hand carefully touched his hair and neck from behind," I just want to make you feel happy, Satou-san."
The other man seemed to get it now. The features on Satou's face softened and he tilted his head in a curious way. I took that as a good sign. I smiled just enough to make it visible and tucked my fingers in his short grey hair. I noted to myself he looked better without his hat on. It made him look a bit adorable in a funny way. Less intimidating, I guess. I liked to see his face in clear light.
Satou's hands hadn't moved at all. His actions were quite passive: not withdrawing nor making a move. I wasn't sure if it was his way to process this or was he only taking his time to make me confess. Either way, I was getting frustrated.
"What else do you want me to say...?" I hesitantly asked.
"Sorry, but I still don't understand what's on your mind," Satou teased and gave a short chuckle. Geez, he really wanted me to say it, huh. My eyes couldn't meet his gaze anymore.
"I'm trying to say that...that I like you, Satou-san." Gosh, it came out sounding so pathetic. Like I was a high school girl confessing to her crush behind the school building. I kept staring at the floor which was covered with my blood. I didn't even want to see what kind of face Satou was making. I imagined him laughing at me in his head. I began doubting myself and my chances to be with him. Maybe I had just read the situation wrong and Satou was only pulling a prank on me. A palm was put against my cheek.
"Do you honestly mean it?"
The question came out sounding so off-character. It lacked its normal jovial tone. Satou sounded like he was touched and serious at the same time? Was he really? I turned my eyes back to him. Trying to find out if he was messing around or not was an impossible task for me. His expression was convincing. I nodded as an answer.
"For how long?" he asked with the same tone. It reminded me off those rare dreams I had about us, those where Satou was genuinely wanting me, saying he needed me. It was a bizarre moment to experience.
"A-a couple months, I think... I realised how much I enjoyed spending time with you and listening to you talk about everything." Satou gave a weak smile and shook his head.
"What do you see in an old man like me? I cannot offer you the same satisfaction as a young woman could."
Again, so off-character. I pushed those thoughts aside because this was real. Satou was actually saying all this and it was all I needed. It was my turn to chuckle at his comment. The age gap was huge, I had to admit it. Satou could have easily been my dad and many people had mistaken me as his son in the public. It was awkward but I was no longer an immature child. I was a 30-year-old grown man now and I knew what I wanted. I wanted Satou, not some woman to live with.
I carefully pushed him backwards until his back hit the wall. Satou's mouth hung open for a little, shocked by my bold move. At least I made him react.
"I don't care. You bring me more joy than you could ever imagine. I'm forever grateful to you for saving my life and giving me a fresh start," my hand found its way to Satou's belt, "I honestly want you..."
I couldn't believe this was happening right now. Me, holding Satou against the wall, finally getting to touch him. I would have laughed if I wasn't occupied to get my hand down his crotch. Meanwhile, the older ajin stayed still. His breathing was slightly heavier than usual but his expression said nothing. It was disappointing since I expected him to at least make some noises and movement. Maybe I was doing a bad job? Suddenly the pressure hit me and I paused my hand. Satou made a small protest sound.
"What's wrong, Tanaka?" he asked with a steady voice. I bit my lip.
"Am I...doing this wrong? You don't seem like you're enjoying." Satou dropped his smile for a second. He didn't answer right away.
"I'm sorry if I'm not reacting the way you'd like...," he apologised and smiled, "Then this is a good challenge for you. Make me."
I wanted to roll my eyes at him. Everything had to be a challenge to him. I signed as a sign of defeat and began moving my hand again. I landed a few kisses on his face and soon captured his lips on mine. The kiss was intense and I felt Satou biting down my lower lip, making it bleed a bit. I didn't mind and answered with more teeth and tongue. If he preferred it rough, I would make it rough. I got a hold on his hair and pulled, getting a groan out of him. It wasn't enough.
I removed my hand from his hair and curled my fingers around his neck. Satou's breathing hitched and he pulled his mouth away from the kiss.
"Tanaka-kun...are you planning to choke me?" he smirked, showing his teeth. I didn't expect him to become this excited. Did he want me to?
I chose to keep quiet and forced my lips on his instead. My hand working down there and the other strangling the air out of Satou made my brain go all fuzzy. Apparently, it was enough to make him lose it and thrust his hips forward for more stimulation. I tasted blood on my tongue, not sure which one's. I was getting worried that I might accidentally kill Satou even though he was immortal. That would definitely ruin the mood. Fortunately, the man soon groaned loudly against my mouth and I felt warm fluid filling my palm. I let go of his neck immediately. I pulled my head a few inches away to let him breathe. I swallowed when I saw the bruises I had left on his skin. The view only worsened the hardness between my legs. I took my hand out from his trousers and looked at the stickiness over my fingers. I couldn't control myself and gave it a quick lick.
"Oi, Tanaka...," Satou scowled, his voice coming off gruff.
"You don't taste bad," I shrugged. Satou touched his neck and rested his head against the wall. I waited for him to catch his breath, admiring the mess I managed to create. I slowly wiped Satou's semen over my shirt which was already ruined by my blood. The next step was to ask what would happen for now on. I hesitated to open my mouth because the topic was complex. I rubbed my neck as I spoke:
"So, how are you feeling?"
Satou fixed his hair quick and closed his belt and then looking right at me.
"Fine. This was quite fun," he looked at the blood stains on the floor, "We should clean those before they dry and start to stink. We don't want this place smell of blood every day, hm?"
My heart skipped a beat. The way Satou spoke made me feel upset and angry. The whole thing had meant nothing to him. I should have known this from the start. I brought my hand up and pinched my lower lip. It was automatic whenever I felt too many emotions at the same time. Satou turned back to me and realised my state right away. He bought his hand over my arm to soothe me.
"Are you having a flashback again? I can clean this room by myself if the blood makes you uncomfortable." I shook my head at him.
"I cannot believe you treat this as a game, Satou-san...," I started, "I confessed my feelings and made you feel good and still you speak as if you're uninterested. If you don't like me back then fucking say it to my face...!" I lost control over my voice and ended up shouting. I immediately covered my mouth. Satou stared at me and let my words sink in. He took a few steps away from me and grabbed the stained knife from the side, his back turned. He took something out of his pocket, a handkerchief, and began cleaning the knife with it. Soon, I heard him speak.
"I never said I didn't like you, Tanaka-kun. You didn't give me a chance to answer. This is not easy for me either since I don't have any experience with love...," Satou's voice was heavy. I raised my eyebrows.
"Do you mean you haven't ever loved somebody? Or if no one has ever loved you?" I asked without thinking twice. I saw Satou freeze on the spot. I panicked and was about to say sorry until I heard a sniff coming from him. Wait, was he crying? Impossible.
"Both... My past is full of sex partners but they weren't my lovers. I didn't love them and they didn't love me and I was fine with it for a while. As years passed and I was no longer young, a part of me wished to have a companion to share my life with. But I got busy with other stuff and never went out to search that person... Then I noticed how old I have become."
I listened without moving a muscle. There was a long pause.
"Somehow, the life gave me the right person eventually. That person is you, Tanaka," Satou finished and faced me. Watching him being so open and vulnerable for me was unbelievable. This care-free old man was telling me that deep down he was lonely and the person to fulfil that emptiness was me. I believed him. I was so happy that my eyes watered. All the hard work to get close to Satou was finally paying off.
"I'm asking you... if you want to be mine," he proposed and held his hand. I nodded timidly and wiped my eye like a child. I walked closer to hold his hand, to embrace him, and as my legs moved toward him, Satou grabbed my wrist, not my hand. I saw a smirk flashing on his face before horrible pain went through my body. Satou had stabbed the knife through my stomach. I coughed blood and dropped on my knees.
"Good, it's settled then... For now on, we're together. I hope it doesn't bother you that we'll have much longer training sessions than before. They're something I simply enjoy and I know you love to please me, don't you, Tanaka-kun?"
I lifted my head up to look at him. I couldn't speak so I gave a weak nod. There was no turning back anymore.
"You're such a sweetheart," Satou smiled and leaned over me enough to plant a kiss on my forehead. Everything became dark after that and my head dropped against the floor. I wondered if I had chosen right or not. But he told me I was the one he had waited for. I knew my Satou. He couldn't be lying about that to just use me. He had even teared up. Because I believed him, I didn't mind, even if our relationship was to become even more brutal.
At least I made him happy and that was enough for me.