It never fails to amaze me the negativity in Lenny shipper's hearts and mind.
Supposedly, if you ship Sheldon/Penny that means you're a troll. OR, if you don't like Leonard that means you're 'butt-hurt that Penny is with him instead of Sheldon'. I don't get it, do Lenny shippers not understand the point of FanFICTION?
***Fiction: literature in the form of prose, especially short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people.***
Keyword being *IMAGINARY*, the amount of Lenny shippers in my PM's arguing with me over IMAGINARY people, is sad. Didn't realize your lives revolved around fictional characters so much that ONE story out of thousands ruines your day, lol. Besides the fact it's FICTION, the story is clearly labeled NOT LEONARD FRIENDLY and SHENNY. Why click on it if you know you won't like it? Masochistic much?
But they always try to counter with 'if we wrote a story about Sheldon like this you would complain!' uh, NO. I wouldn't. 1. Cause I don't care about what you write 2. I don't read Lenny fanfics, so I would have no reason to read Sheldon in a bad light. 3. I'm not an idiot who clicks on stories that don't interest me. 4. There's already multiple stories out there that make Sheldon look bad. and 5. I'm not miserable enough to leave hate on someone else's work like the many Lenny's out there.
Anyways, enjoy the oneshot. And for the Lenny shippers that are inevitably going to leave flaming reviews -thanks for the traffic to my stories.
The Dating Postulation
Leonard had to walk back into the hall, rub his eyes, and then enter again.
What he was seeing couldn't possibly be what was real. Was he still dreaming? Even then, that wouldn't make any sense.
Raj and Howard pushed the door to 4A wide open, and both had different reactions to what they saw. Penny currently on Sheldon's lap, as they both watched reruns of Star Trek. Neither paid any attention to the men standing slack-jawed at the front door.
It was the short curly-haired male who broke the silence, he cleared his throat obnoxiously and scratched his neck once the duo looked at him, "Uh, wanna catch me up, Sheldon?" Sheldon rolled his eyes as if speaking to Leonard would be the most difficult thing to do.
"Well currently, Spock—" Leonard cut him off, "No." He waved around aimlessly as his anger began to rise, "I mean about this," he pointed to Penny who up till now didn't even look at him. "Why is Penny in your lap? Why are you even letting her touch you?"
Sheldon looked at Penny and then at Leonard.
Once upon a time, he felt like he owed it to Leonard to be a true friend and to put his needs well-before his own…within reason. Though, Penny brought it to his attention, Leonard had not been a good friend to him at all. He was rather very selfish. Especially after the Arctic Expedition, he hadn't even been sorry for what he done. He was only sorry he was caught.
"Yes, well, Penny and I have decided to shift our relationship paradigm. We've mutually decided to become boyfriend girlfriend, no slash." He smiled a genuine smile at the blonde woman who was smiling back at him. Their happy moment was short-lived when Leonard decided to open his mouth again.
He raised his hands in frustration, "You're dating Penny? How could you do this to me? You knew I love her, we are meant to be together! You're a robot, you don't even have feelings it could never work between you two! I called dibs, me! You can't have her!"
Penny narrowed her eyes at Leonard's distress, "Leonard, please do understand we aren't doing this to cause you discomfort. We love each other, genuinely. Not like how you claim to love me but cheat on me whenever possible."
"Also, I do believe it's quite hypocritical of you to ask me how I could fathom doing something like this to you, meanwhile you do terrible things to me all the time. Might I remind you of the Artic Expedition? I'm still salvaging my career from that deliberate sabotage, you should be quite grateful Penny begged me to spare your career –undeserving as you may be," Sheldon then placed Penny on the couch -much to her chagrin, and then stood to his full height towering over the shorter man.
"You do not love Penny, you love the idea of her. Penny was never a real human to you, she was an incubator for your imaginary 'smart and beautiful' babies and an ego boost for your fragile confidence. You never deserved her, and you will never have her again, I'll see to it." His words were strong.
Leonard flustered, his face flaring at the words Sheldon had said. He had never seen Sheldon like this before, he had half expected him to buckle under the confrontation and give Penny up, but he supposed he underestimated the Texan. "Penny is mine, she always has been. She likes sex, Sheldon, you don't you can't even stomach the thought of germs and swapping fluids. How do you think that'll work out in the future? You won't even last a month!" He seethed, spittle flying from his mouth.
Sheldon stared down at him, and his darkened eyes flickered to the stunned Indian man and the confused bowl-cut behind Leonard, "Leave." They hadn't need to be told twice, they high-tailed it out of the apartment, the door locking behind them.
"Penny is not yours. She is not an object to be claimed, she's a human –her own human, she's independent and capable of so much more than you gave her credit for. All you did was bring her down and try to dim her shine so you could always seem that much more impressive, but you're not Leonard. You're sad, and it shows," his Texan drawl coming out as he beat down his roommate with his words, "And a gentleman never kisses and tells, but I'm well aware of the fact Penny enjoys sex. As do I," he added as an after-thought.
Penny then decided to speak up, "I'm more than capable of picking who I love and want to be with, and that's Sheldon. Leonard we never wanted to hurt you, because despite your faults we truly do enjoy your company, but I won't have you insulting us just to make yourself feel better," she grabbed Sheldon's hand, "We'd be glad if you stayed in our lives," she told him honestly.
Leonard looked between the two people he thought he knew and scoffed, "You want me to stay here and watch this circus crash and burn? I'd be honored, because you'll be knocking on my door in about a week -no, not even, more like two days, begging for me to please you sexually because Mr. Robot, PhD couldn't get it up, as usual," he smirked.
Sheldon flared, "Get out."
"Excuse me?" Leonard was shocked.
"Get out. You do not speak about or to Penny that way, get out."
Leonard complained about being kicked out against the Roommate Agreement they signed, but Sheldon informed him that due to his negligence and Sheldon's cunningness, he was capable of adding a clause in that stated Sheldon could kick him out whenever he felt like, though with a two-week notice.
"Consider this your two-week notice," Sheldon stated with a finality to his tone.
"And just for your information, Leonard, Sheldon and I have been dating for well over six months," Penny added just for good measure. She was tired of Leonard's cockiness.
She was glad she went with Sheldon, she was even gladder she didn't go out that one Saturday night six months ago and decided to do her laundry with Sheldon as planned. If she had gone out, maybe he wouldn't have kissed her the way he did that night.