Trapped, so very trapped. In my own mind, I'm alone all the time. I can't communicate, I can't get anyone to understand. They just don't, I can't tell anyone anything. I can't get anyone to understand what I mean, what I want! No one understands it's excruciating to be forever trapped in my own mind. It's especially hard since I'm a newsie. It's really loud all the time, and I can't join in the fun. Forever silent, trapped on the inside. I ran to the square, mind racing unable to tell anyone why. I'm fifteen and have had some schooling, enough to know some sign language but no other newsie knows any. I still try anyway. I dashed into the square trying to find Specs and Tommy Boy. I looked around, and couldn't find them anywhere. Crutchie came up next to me,
"Who are you looking for Mute?" I signed to him, Specs and Tommy. I rolled my eyes in frustration and kept scanning the crowd for the two of them. I finally found them and ran over to them.
"Mornin' Mute." I quickly signed, Good morning to Specs who gave me a confused look, I grumbled still trapped in my head as always. I followed Tommy Boy of the square after we had both gotten our papes. I followed him to our selling spot, where we sold our papes. I would stand there looking sickly because obviously, I can't shout headlines which is why Tommy Boy and I teamed up. Soon I was on my way back to the square, as soon as I got there I saw the newsies running around the square, talking, talking, talking. Something I couldn't do, so I walked back to the lodging house instead. I walked into an old part of the abandoned building that I had claimed as my room. I walked over to my hammock and pulled out a box from underneath the bed. I opened it and rifled through the papers I kept in there. They all were drawings of how people moved their mouth to talk, and few had drawings of sign language motions. I looked at the papers and tried to move my mouth in the same way the drawings did. No sound came out, no sound ever came out. I frustratedly closed the box and slid it back under my hammock. I sat down against a wall a sighed looking up at the ceiling. I could never tell anyone what I wanted, I was forever trapped. I could hear some commotion in the next room over which was Blu's I got up and knocked on the door.
"Hello? I need some help!" I poked my head through the door to see Blu pushing herself into a sitting position.
"Mute! Thank goodness you're here! I could use a little help." I walked over and picked her up and gently placed her gently back into her wheelchair. I gave her a confused look, trying to ask how she ended up on the floor.
"Can you hand me that?" She pointed to a shelf with a small sack on top of it. I grabbed it and handed it to her. I signed to her, Do you need to need anything else She gave me a confused look, and then I heard someone say,
"He's asking if you need anything else." I looked to see auburn hair disappearing around the corner,
"In that case, no I don't need anything else." I nodded still looking out the door, I ran out after the person who had translated for me. I wanted to yell for them, but I couldn't. I searched around the entire lodging house for the person with the auburn hair. After not being able to find them I walked outside, to see a girl with auburn hair. She had a long orange skirt and a striped shirt. Her hair was in tight auburn ringlets. I dashed in front of her and started signing to her all of my questions. How did you do that? Can you do it again? Can you actually understand me? She gave me a funny look,
"Are you trying to ask me something?" No, no, no! She can't understand me! I started to sign more frantically, Please! You understood me earlier! Please don't leave me trapped!
"Sorry, I don't know what you are trying to say." She gave me a sympathetic look as I walked away dejectedly. I ran down the street feeling tears start to form, I bit down on my tongue trying to keep the tears from coming. I realized there was no hope, I would never find who translated. I would be trapped forever. I stopped running, the only sound around me was the sound of me panting. I climbed up the side of a building and sat down running my hands through my hair.
I recognized that boy. I think they called him Mute, at least that's what Specs told me. I haven't been a newsie for that long, and I wasn't really paying attention when he told me all their names. There are way too many of them. I remember him because he doesn't talk. He's really sad and always signing at people, they of course never understood him. Now he is sitting on my roof. I don't like that, I should probably tell him to leave but he looks sad. If Specs were here he would tell me to go talk to him. I'm not good at that, last time I just talked to someone they left more upset than they did last time. I mean this is also different, he can't talk so how are we supposed to talk. I guess I do know sign language, but I don't want to become his permanent interpreter. I don't like people, except Specs. I like Specs, he's not that talkative so I allow it. I should probably go talk to him now.
I looked up to see a girl perched on top of a few crates in the corner of the roof of the building. She had really short auburn hair and bright blue eyes. She looked at me like she wanted something from me. She climbed down and started to walk over to me.
"Who are you."
Mute. I signed to her.
"That's what I thought your name was." I looked up at her,
You know what I'm saying.
"Yes."
Really! I have wanted someone to understand for so long! I have so many things to say!
"Calm down. I saw you up here, and I saw you were sad. You look sad a lot."
I am sad a lot. Up until now, no one has ever been able to understand what I'm saying.
"Why are you up here?"
I thought someone else was you. So I chased after them and when they weren't able to understand me I ran here.
"This is my rooftop."
Oh, sorry. I didn't know you could buy a rooftop.
"Don't get snippy with me. I can kick you out of here right now, but Specs would get mad at me."
Your Blaze right, Specs talks about you a lot. She blushed profusely,
"No, he does not."
Yes, he does. He's one of my best friends, he talks about you all the time.
"This is about you, not me."
Fine. What do you want to know?
"How come you can't talk?"
I dunno, why my folks kicked me to the curb.
"Oh." We just kinda sat there for a while after that.
"That must have been hard."
Yeah, what about you?
"I don't really know, I've been on the streets for as long as I can remember. I used to live in Harlem before I moved here.
You were the girl mad at Crutchie right?
"Yeah."
Specs would talk about you a lot when he was trying to fix you two. I wanted to help, but…
"What were your ideas?'
I dunno, just kinda what he did but I would have probably given you some space. You get grouchy a lot. If I cared about you as Specs did, I would probably have done something rash to keep you from leaving.
"What do you mean?"
I've seen the way he looks at you when you aren't."
"There's no looking."
Trust me there is when you are me you get pretty good at observing people and their habits. Take Jack for example, he freaks out whenever someone gets hurt or sick. He has the habit of overprotective big brother, for all of us. You have the habit of being a grouch, and you don't like people unless they are Specs people. She gave me a look,
"I still think you're wrong."
We'll see. She stood up and dusted herself, she walked to the other side of the building.
"See you tomorrow."
Goodbye Blaze. She disappeared off the side of the building. I had someone who could actually understand me. I wandered back to the lodging house and laid down in my hammock. I didn't sleep much that night. I wasn't so trapped anymore. I wasn't trapped in my own head, I wasn't forever alone anymore. I was free.