I do not own Invader Zim okay? I know it's been a little while on updating this, inspiration on this isn't as strong as some of my other fics. I assure you though I will finish this. But anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
Red clicked though the images on the laptop. He looked over it but couldn't quite understand the language that it was in. This damned human language and apparently they have tons among themselves. Red thought as he turned on the Universal language translator he had in his PAK and looked over the words. So this is one of the top scientists on this planet. He thought as he looked through the documents and plans that were in the system. "Ancient crap." Red said.
"Excuse me?" Purple said as he looked up from the romance novel he had swiped from Tenn's bunk. "Why are you being so loud? I just got to the good part!"
"Okay I don't want to know what you mean by 'the good part' with that book." Red said as he looked at the cover of the book with disgust. "But these humans seem to be so much behind us."
"Yeah and so? We conquered a planet full of slaughtering rat people. They didn't even have a written language." Purple shrugged. "Weren't we here for the minerals anyway?"
"Well that's what we told everyone. You do know shit was getting too intense back on Irk anyway." Red moaned. "It was only a matter of time before we got attacked ourselves."
Red kept searching the Membrane labs page, looking for something that would be his key. He was the more competent of the two Tallests anyway. He placed the laptop down on his desk and headed back to Tak and Tenn's cabin. He moved more of the blankets and pillows and various other items the Irkens used around until he found a backpack that Tak had used when she went to the Hi-Skool. Tak why do you need this PAK when you can put things in yours? Red said as he shook the bag and the English Literature textbook fell on his face. "OOOOF!" He said as he furiously threw the book aside and then looked at it. This might be useful, at least a better read than that FILTH Purple seems to be fascinated with. He took the book back to his cabin and read where Tak had marked 'Paradise Lost'.
"Ha! You like human literature too." Purple said. "I may have to go to the library. Apparently, there are tons of novels like this out there and Tenn said you could just borrow them and give them back. Or it may be better to just order said books."
"You mean, order, on a human website an item that they will have to deliver, TO OUR SECRET BASE?" Red said.
"Yeah…." Purple said as the realization of how bad an idea that was hit him. "But here I can order it from this store, and they can deliver it to the bookstore for me to pick up in the city. Or we can send someone to pick it up for me." He smiled at the idea. "We didn't flee Irk to hide in a dumb planet full of pig smelly humans." He looked for the laptop he had placed aside and found Purple looking it over.
"Mine." Red said.
"Wasn't it something Tak and Tenn had found?" Purple corrected.
"I guess but I am the commander of this mission and a Tallest." Red said annoyed. "You must have grown soft since we were last on actual missions ourselves. You do not spend your time when you should be making decisions that will affect the lives of millions upon billions upon trillions of beings in the galaxy."
"I don't think the Irken Empire has trillions under its control Red." Purple said.
"We haven't done a total Empire census for a while. I think Irk's population was around 777 billion, both living on and off Irk and that is just the Irkens."
"Okay you may have mixed entire Empire with Irk. There was only like 7.7 billion Irkens. And those are just Irkens, not the population of planets under Irken rule." Purple stated. Red began to say something to contradict him, but he paused and counted on his claws, mumbling to himself, as if he were remembering numbers and making calculations.
"We're both off slightly. According to the last census taken midway through Operation Impending Doom II, there were 7.7 billion Irkens yes 77 billion under Irken rule and up to and possibly exceeding 1 trillion if all the planets marked for conquest are taken. Which they will be. And another about 8 billion members of a sentient specie when we taken this." Red said with a smirk.
"Seriously?" Purple asked. "And just how do you know all those numbers?"
"It's part of my JOB AS TALLEST!" Red said as he turned the page and found where Tak had found an interesting passage. 'Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven'. Red read the words aloud to himself over again. Opening the laptop, he found that there was search engines much like they had on Irk and matching the letters on the keyboard to the spellings of 'heaven' and 'hell' he learned both were human concepts of the afterlife. Hell was punishment for all time, heaven great pleasure. Red smirked at this saying to himself more. He knew that if he went back to Irk, without a great victory and something of worth to the Empire, with the disgraced Irkens he had picked to be on this mission, he was going to be killed or even worse, disgraced. Then again, what if all of what is here is not good enough for those 7.7 billion idiots who don't know how great I am and how powerful I am making the empire? He thought to himself. This Lucifer guy may be onto something. Humans are FAR behind most other species who have physical specifications like theirs. I mean there is a whole galaxy near ours of human looking species who have mastered cloning, living beyond burning, playing with light swords and hyperdrive, so it's not like they can't work with those things. And apparently Kaminoans can't be talked into trying to use their technology to help us clone OUR own army. So, we had to stab Vort in the back. He turned to Purple and asked, "So what if instead of going back to Irk, we just take this planet, and bring them into the level of intelligence they need to be?"
"Just what do you mean?" Purple asked.
"We take Earth, make them have our technology."
"Give an idioitic species our technology? You know how dumb that is?" Purple yelled as he threw the romance novel down on the ground. Seeing how it fell, he sulked. "And I lost my page."
"You can finish that filth later." Red said as he shoved away the novel and turned back to Purple. "But if there is something, I am reading from what Tak has written and form what books and such I can from themselves, humans are prone to the groupthink we need to exploit them all. Heck you don't even need a PAK as they are good at pressuring themselves without needing actual control! And this place that Tak got us into their databases is perfect. It's a highly respected lab. So, we just send one of our crew there as some new employee, get in there, fill them with our technology and then use them to take the planet."
"What about the Organic sweep? That's always so fun." Purple said.
"Our situation on Irk is tenuous at best. We go back with just minerals and snack foods, we're toast. And not good, buttered toast. Bad burnt to a crisp toast. We're fucked." Red said. "Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven." Red said.
"Well, who would we get to play the new employee?" Purple asked.
"Maybe me…. But I am taller than an average human. They get to be about 6 feet, the males, and that is some of the taller ones. That and I am the commander, the Tallest, that is beneath me."
"How about me?" Purple said as Red laughed manically. "What's so funny?"
"You?" Red grabbed his sides. "In a job like this? Seriously?" He fell on the floor rolling around.
"I get it." Purple said.
"No, I just need you with me. So, you can do a very very good job of keeping me focused on the goal at hand. You are a capable Co-Tallest!" Red said, knowing just how to make Purple happy. "I'll even send someone to get the snacks and weird books you like."
"Okay, I'm not so mad about that." Purple said. "What about Tenn?"
"Tenn…." Red tapped his claw to his face. Tak was acting like a Hi-Skool student. Tenn was just seen at the library all the time and had no real connections other than that she had a library card to access the knowledge that was stored there. "Skoodge and Zim are just too stupid for a job like this. Speaking of those imbiciles, where are they?" Red asked as Purple shrugged.
Once they had finished the shopping Tenn had made Tak and Dib do while they were at the mall, Dib offered to drive them home. "Oh no, you don't need to do that! We can walk!" Tak quickly replied.
"I insist, it's only fair." Dib offered.
"But what about your sister?" Tenn asked.
"She got her own ride home. She hates waiting and will get a ride from me home but will have me drive her if I am going to the same place she is." Dib shrugged. "Whatever, I guess. But you guys walked all around the mall and I can't imagine that coming here on foot was too good on your feet either. Especially those that Tenn are wearing." Dib thought about it. "I can drive you to a bus stop closer to the edge of town. You did say that your dad was rather protective of you guys and your property."
"That he is!" Tak said remembering her story. "So, I guess we'll go to the bus stop and go from there. Thank you so much for your kindness." She kissed Dib on the cheek.
"If for some reason the bus doesn't show up let me know." Dib then handed a wad of bills from his pocket and placed it in Tak's hands who looked up at him. "Because I want to help if you need faire money for the bus. Even if you don't, I am not going to use it." Tenn looked concerned as Tak started to object. "Dad leaves me A LOT of money. Thinks it will make up for his shitty absence of parenting." He then kissed Tak on the forehead. "I promise I won't ever turn out like him. I care about you Tak and I protect those I care about."
"Well why did you let Gaz take a cab home?" Tenn asked as they got to Dib's car.
"I have learned never to fight Gaz on her intentions. She can protect herself well." Dib said. "But yeah, I'll drive you to the bus stop closest your house and if you need me, call me." Dib said as he shut the door and began to drive them to the other side of town.
Zim and Skoodge walked through the crowds of people in the city, pushing everyone aside, following the TRAK he had that had the locations of Tak and Tenn at the mall. It was a long walk, longer than Zim thought he should have to walk to the mall. As he looked at the dots, they went in reverse and then headed out of the area of the mall and to the main roads. They were traveling faster than if they were walking or even if they were running from an enemy and the dots stayed perfectly in their spots. "Something must be wrong with this thing." Zim said as he threw the tracker at Skoodge's feet.
"They stopped." Skoodge said as he looked at it. "Right in front of us too. Over on that road." He said as he pointed to the intersection across the street
Dib was having a lively conversation with Tak and Tenn as he waited for the light to change when he noticed Skoodge and Zim. Something doesn't seem right with those guys…. He thought as Tenn began to speak when Tak put her hand on her mouth. "Don't say a thing. Play it off like he does. Dib is an ally to us if we want to break free from Irk but he will kill us if we get into it with Zim and Skoodge. You know Zim will reveal the plan and Dib will defend this planet from aliens who mean him and the planet harm." Tenn nodded in comprehension.
"Everything okay?" Dib asked.
"Oh, Tenn can be quite silly and embarrassing around my friends and even more so with my boyfriend." Tak said.
"Oh. I see why you would do that." Dib said as the light changed.
"Hey Zim, where that car is where this thing says they are." Skoodge said.
"No, it can't be…." Zim said as he looked in the car and saw Dib, who looked at him with a cocked eye as if he knew there was something wrong with them that they weren't human but all that Zim saw with him were two young ladies, one with long red hair in ponytails and one with short purple hair. They looked perfectly human. "This thing must be broken. That isn't Tak and Tenn in there."
"I don't know, the TRAK readings are following that car." Skoodge pointed out.
"Can't hurt to follow it!" Zim said as he turned and began to run after the car. Not seeing he was keeping up; he activated the jet boosters on the PAK. "Keep up Skoodge!"
"We'll be seen!" Skoodge pled as he followed Zim on foot! "We'll blow the mission!"
"Does it look like I care! That human has captured Tak and Tenn." Zim said.
"Oh, now you believe me…." Skoodge mumbled.
Tak turned around and gulped. Zim is going to fuck up everything! "I think we're being followed!" She panicked as Tenn started hyperventilating in fear.
"Hang on girls." Dib said. "I made some mods to this thing to get away from anything." Dib said as he flipped open the cover on the transmission shifter and hit it. "We'll be safe."
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I can see Dib making modifications to his car when he gets one that would help him in his paranormal quests. He's not dumb after all. I don't know when I can update again. Work starting and I will be busy and all. Don't know how much I will be able to write when I should be working because there is no work because there will be a lot. But in the meantime, remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,