Story Title: Baby Elephant Walk.
Harry Potter/BtVS crossover.
Rating: PG-13 (To be on the safe side for now, if I get inspired it'll change later.)
Disclaimer: Buffy is the work of Joss Whedon et al. Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling. Pippi Longstocking is from the wonderful world of Astrid Lindgren. (Who said working in the children's department of the library is without fringe benefits?)
Pairings: Tuning… At the moment, not very much planned. Joyce/Giles (Sort of.) I really want it to be Anya/Percy, but it all depends on how well I write Anya's blunt speech pattern. Other than that I have tons of possibilities. *smiles sweetly*
1. Author's Note: Buffy: Alternate Universe after Band Candy. I've only seen until Season 5, which means no psychotic Willow for the moment.
Harry Potter: All 4 books.
2. Author's Note: One week 'til American Studies final exam, and this is what I do. Starting up a new story, when I have at least four unfinished stories to work on. I should be reading the "fascinating" thing that is the American Declaration of Independence, Seize The Day, various poems, and American history. Thankfully I managed to wade through Huck Finn yesterday. I read it ages ago, in a cartoon version. Sadly I don't think that suffices for writing an academic essay… It's a bunny-eat-bunny world.
Did I forget to mention a RL nick of mine? They call me the Evil one. Just in case.
CHAPTER 1. All kinds of everything.
It was a quiet night in Sunnydale, California. Too quiet for it to be normal, Buffy Anne Summers mused. She had patrolled all the 12 cemeteries and nothing had happened. It wasn't like she wanted anything to happen, it was just too wiggy when nothing did happen. A regular night would have at least involved some form of fighting or staking. So far her count was nothing. She was seriously considering going home, sleep sounded good at the moment, when she heard a strange sound behind what had come to be called Spike's crypt. "Who's there?" She felt stupid asking, but it had to be someone. Maybe something to slay so that she felt her duty was done for the night?
It was a man. Not a male vampire or male demon, but a man. A tall thin man with glasses. "Who are you and what are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
"I could ask the same of you." He sounded British, like Giles and Spike.
"I asked first. Now answer, what are you doing here?"
He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Maybe it's none of your business? Ever think about that?"
Buffy crossed hers as well. "Maybe it is. Now tell."
"What are you going to do? Make me?" He was behaving like Dawn or Spike when they were feeling particularly childish. She grinned an evil little grin, and had him on his back in less than a second.
"Yes?" She was straddling him, his arms safely tucked under her legs.
"Cripes, you wouldn't happen to be the Slayer, now would you?"
"Maybe. Let me repeat my question, WHO are you?"
"Not looking for trouble. Looking for someone."
"Who could you possibly find in a cemetery?"
"Me." Her head turned in direction of the voice.
"Spike? You know this person?"
"It's nice to meet you, I'd shake your hand, but mine seems to be rather stuck at the moment." The guy tried to wiggle free from Buffy, but didn't quite manage. If anything the Slayer just held him tighter.
"Lay off him, pet. He's a guest." Buffy looked closer at the man.
"But he's not a guest, as in guest telling us we're going to have ourselves an apocalypse. Right?" She paused waiting for an affirmative answer.
"Lay off him. Sodding slayer. Can't a man have some relatives over for a nice cuppa without you harassing them?"
"He… he's a relative?"
"I am." The young man huffed. "My mother wanted me to check on uncle William, make sure he was still alive, er, undead. She's very fond of him, for some odd reason."
"I'm a very loveable person, and it's Spike." Spike said. "And if you'll excuse us, Slayer. I hear the tea is ready." Buffy reluctantly let go of the redhead, before muttering.
"Fine, I was going home to get some sleep anyway."
"Say hi to the Bit and the First for me."
"I can't believe you call her that, but I'll pass it along." Buffy rolled her eyes at them. "Enjoy your tea. I'll just be going home to have some family time and some well-deserved sleep."
"So, Buffy how was the slaying tonight?" Giles stood in the doorway waiting for her as she got home. She shrugged.
"Too quiet. It's wiggy, Giles." The Slayer sighed. "It's not that I don't enjoy the peace and quiet, because I do. It's just that every time after a long period of quiet, it's save the world time. Major save the world time, you know." They went into the kitchen and Buffy reached into the refrigerator where she found a pitcher of orange juice.
"If there isn't anything else you need to discuss with me…" Giles trailed off. "I'll be off. I've had a trying day." Buffy drank from the pitcher before remembering the odd incident outside Spike's crypt.
"Wait." She swallowed the juice before she put the pitcher back into the refrigerator. "When I was patrolling just outside Spike's, as a last stop before I headed home, I heard this odd noise behind it." Giles' tired look snapped almost off his face.
"Then this guy came out from behind."
"What sort of odd noise?" Buffy shrugged.
"Kind of like a pop." Buffy stuck her index finger into her mouth and snapped it out with a very audible pop. "Sort of like that." Giles looked impassive as he muttered to himself before he turned and made his way to the basement. Buffy followed him.
"Do you have any idea to what it might be? Giles? Giles?" He pulled out one of his less mustier books and proceeded to read.
"Eureka!" He pulled off his glasses and began to wipe them at the surprised look on Buffy's face. "What you heard was this person apparating, or to put it simply moving himself from one place to another in a short heartbeat. It's a common mode of transportation among witches and wizards over a certain age." Giles let his finger wander down the page. "Apparently they have to pass some sort of test before they are allowed to do it." He put his glasses back on again.
"So, this person was a wizard?" Buffy said. "They can suddenly appear out of nothingness? Like teleportation?" She looked closer at the cover of the book Giles was reading from. "Giles, isn't that like Dawnie's copy of one of the Harry Potter books? The ones she keeps ranting about all the time? About Hogmarts, Wartimort and a talking cat." Giles blushed slightly, and suddenly discovered a tiny speck of dust on his glasses. "We're so desperate after a solution that we're checking up children's books? Why don't I just dye my hair orange and braid it so that you can just call me Pippi Longstocking, the world's strongest girl?" She pondered further. "I'd need a horsie, and ooh… ohh… a monkey. Giles, I need a Mr. Nilsson."
"Buffy," Giles had managed to regain his composure. "There will be no horsie or … or a Mr. Nilsson for that matter. And I'll have you know that the Harry Potter books aren't simply enjoyed by children. An uncountable number of adults also happen to enjoy them." Giles looked at her indignantly.
"Whatever, I still say I could be Pippi. All I really need is a horse, a monkey and orange hair. Presto. Pippi the Vampire Slayer." Buffy pulled one of her pigtails in front of her eyes. "Do you think my hair would look good orange? Because I already have my Tommy and Annika. I'm not sure yet which one's which…"
"Buffy. The Harry Potter books are real."
"Xander could be Tommy since he's a boy, and that would make Willow Annika." She looked up at him from her pondering. "They are real?" Buffy got an alarmed look. "Wartimort's real?"
"Have you read the books, Buffy?"
"Nah-uh. But I got the cliff notes version from Dawn. Believe me, I got the cliff notes version from Dawn, plenty of times. Wartimort's the bad guy." She huffed. "And how do you know they're real anyhow?" He began to fidget with his glasses.
"I might have encountered it once or twice in my training as a Watcher…"
"So why would a relative of Spike's, from the Harry Potter books visit old Sunnydale? He said it was his mother who had urged him to visit 'uncle William.' It's just strange." Buffy looked bewildered at her Watcher.
"Strange that a woman, somewhere, shows Spike how much she cares about him, by sending her son? We'll worry about it tomorrow. Get some sleep." Giles left her, and Buffy was alone. She picked up the book Giles had been talking about. She shrugged before bringing it with her upstairs. It would be nice to be prepared for whatever Spike would toss at her tomorrow.