I hope you all had a great Christmas everyone.

-December 10th, 2018-

(Naruko's Apartment)

It was fifteen days before Squidmas, Eights first one too! To say she was excited would be putting it lightly. She remembered only a small few things from her past, but one memory was spending Octivus with her squad… now if only she could remember their names and faces.

There was one thing amiss however.

Eight's eyes narrowed as she watched the TV. A rather generic Squidmas movie was on but that was not the problem… no the problem was a character that she had only heard about.

A being so feared that he was talked about openly in the month of December and yet barely a whisper of his existence in the other eleven months, a rather disarmingly jolly fat man in red and white..

Santa Claus!

How did he know who was naughty and who was nice? Did he have a hyper hi-tech worldwide surveillance network?

How/why did he break into people's homes without any trouble and leave presents for good squidkids and octokids? Probably for some nefarious plan no doubt.

The moment she found out about him, Eight swore that she would end the fat man's reign of terror. She had fifteen days to plan, she would not waste them!

At the kitchen counter Marie and Ekolu stared at the Octoling girl.

"So… Is there a reason why she is staring at Santa as if he murdered her entire family and then took a dump on their grave?" Marie asked as she sipped her hot chocolate.

Ekolu scratched at the discolored scar across her right eye "I have no clue." She said as she continued to scratch at the scar.

Marie glared lightly as she slapped Ekolu's hand "Stop that Ekolu. You know that you shouldn't irritate it." the older Inkling scolded.

Ekolu frowned slightly but listened to the older girl.

She was about to respond but was cut off by the sound of someone struggling with the door.

"Callie c'moooon, these things are heavy."

"I'm trying! The damn key won't fit in the-"

*Jingle* *Clink*

"Oh for fucks sake! Now you've gone and made me drop them Pearl."

"Hey I didn't do shit."

"Exactly… Hey guys open up please! These bags are heavy."

Letting out a sigh Marie left her chair and made her way to the door.

Upon opening it she was greeted by both Callie and Pearl. The latter of the two was holding various boxes while Callie had several shopping bags.

" Thank god! I thought my arms were gonna fall off." Callie exclaimed as she sat the bags on the table while Pearl gently placed the boxes on the ground.

"Callie I've seen so bench press 170kg like it was nothing so I think you're over exaggerating a bit." Ekolu said

Callie stuck her tongue out at the younger girl causing her to roll her eyes before going over to Eight who was muttering while glaring at the image of Santa that was currently on the screen.

"Hey wasn't Naruko with you?" Marie asked

"She had to go pick something up. I'm guessing presents." Callie explained as she shifted through the bags.

"Fair enough. You two need a hand with wrapping that stuff?"

Callie shook her head negatively "Nope not happening. I know that you know we got your present so no peeking!" Callie said as she picked the bags up and made her way to Naruko's room to wrap the contents.

Marie shook her head with a small grin as she watched Callie's retreating form. Turning to Pearl she saw the smaller Inkling was struggling to lift the boxes again "Need a hand?"

Pearl shook her head "N-nope I… I got this." She said as she lifted the stack of boxes and proceeded to shakily make her way to Naruko's room "You can explain to your girlfriend when you throw your back out!"

'Man they really bought a lot.'

And speaking of presents, Marie had yet to finish buying some. Luckily for her the things she planned to buy could be found at the Mall of hers, Callie and Pearl's hometown.


-December 25th. 12:07am-

(Cuttlefish Residence)

A figure gently made their way across the living room, moving silently and swiftly towards the Squidmas tree.


The figure froze "Stupid old creaky floor boards." they whispered, though to be honest it may have been due to the fact their foot was feeling a touch numb 'Meh, probably from how I was resting on it.'



A pair of amber eyes shot open "He's here."

Eight slowly crept out of the bed and made her way to the door, being extra careful not to wake Four who was sleeping in the opposite bed.

As the young Octoling reached the door she grabbed a metal bat from her duffle bag an odd thing about the bat being the fact that the handle appeared to be covered in rubber.

Gently opening the door she crept down the hall and into the kitchen 'The cookies and milk are gone, hehehe silly old Santa, to bad I laced them with a mild numbing agent.'

Entering the living room her eyes widened slightly as she saw a figure in the dark living room placing some presents around the tree.

'He really is real! Focus Eight, you need to catch the fat man off guard.' She thought as she crept closer.

And closer, and closer.

Until she was in striking range, lifting the bat with both arms Eight swung it down with the might of Hephaestus striking a piece of molten bronze,


Only to miss by a wide margin and hit the couch instead. Well shit… what it was dark okay. Time for plan b?

Santa turned in shock and stared at the Octoling "Eight? What the hell are you doing?"

He knew her name? HE KNEW HER NAME! PLAN B! PLAN B!

Plan b was her swing the bat wildly…. something that admittedly caught 'Santa' off guard, huh now that she thought about it, Santa did look kinda feminine.

"Die fat man!" Eight shouted as she swung the bat wildly, amazingly enough without hitting any furniture.

"Hey" *dodge* "Eight what the hell!" 'Santa' shouted as they blocked the bat with their arm.

'Aha, now!' Eight thought victoriously as she pressed a button on the handle of her bat.


"Ow fuck!" 'Santa' yelped when the bat started spark with electricity "N-now now Eight, put the bat down." they pleaded as they slowly backed away only to trip due to their now numb feet. Eight grinned victoriously "Aaand that would be the stuff I laced the cookies and milk with~ Your time has come Santa!" Eight said as she brought the still sparking bat above her head.

'Wait what did she say!?' 'Santa's' eyes widened and they attempted to crawl away,

And then suddenly the light turned on

"Eight! What the ever loving fuck are you doing!"

The Octoling in question stared at the person at the top of the stairs like a deer in headlights.

Man what a scene Pearl just walked in on. She had gotten up to get a drink only to hear the sounds of frantic yelling when she reached the top of the stairs.

Part of her wished she didn't flip the light switch… but then again, if she didn't then 'Santa' would've got their head cracked open by a rather adorable Octoling wielding an electrified bat and that was under the impression that Santa was a diabolical mad man.

A few moments later and a rather stern talking to from Marina(who had followed Pearl) Eight was sitting on her knees her head bowed as she fervently apologised to 'Santa' who had actually turned out to be Marie who was placing some last minute gifts from her under the tree. And after a short talk they informed Eight that Santa wasn't actually real and that she shouldn't lace food with minor numbing agents(nothing was said about the bat curiously though).

All was good after that incident,

"Uhh guy's, I still can't feel my legs!" Marie said from the floor as Eight, Pearl and Marina made their way back to their rooms with Pearl flipping the light switch back off.


All was good.

I hope you all have a lovely New Year everyone! And here's to hoping that 2020 isn't as much of a shit show like 2019 was.