Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of these characters. That belongs to JKR, Scholastic Books, Warner Brothers, etc. This is just something to pass the time while waiting for the next book.
If life were a fairy tale, that article would have made him confess his love for you.
Yet such a confession never did occur though originally you had high hopes. He blushed and you thought why would he be embarrassed if there wasn't some grain of truth. Of course, perhaps you should have told him your secret then but you're not to used to having friends and you're not too sure that your friends here really like you for yourself. There's still that voice of doubt that they don't really like Hermione – she's too plain and boring for that. So you don't say anything specific though you try to encourage him. You never say that you don't fancy him. You never refute that particular claim. Yes, you're only friends right now, but you're not going to say that you don't wish for more.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for him.
He tells anyone who'll listen that he doesn't fancy you. He tells everyone with ears that you two are just friends. All the while, you're thinking about all the time you spend with him and if it means nothing to him – and the refusals keep coming. They would break your heart except that you haven't all the pieces anymore. You lost something when you found out he loves you not.
Somewhere along the way, your eyes turn to your other best friend. It's easy for him to catch your attention because he's always doing something to infuriate you. Yet he's nice and safe and there are times that you think he might just want you. He doesn't show it in the best of ways, he's definitely a diamond in the rough but you wonder – perhaps you've been looking at the wrong best friend.
You're determined to take a chance.
If life were a fairy tale, your other best friend would have been it. It would have been a classic case of a girl ignoring the boy who had been by her side all along for someone brighter. He would have been your one true love. He would have been the love of your life.
You're rather disappointed that he's not. You argue too much and he's very controlling. He thinks that he can tell you what to do with your life. When you accuse him of such behavior, he immediately gets mad and claims that he's trying to protect you. It makes you want to scream that you don't want to be protected, you just want to be loved. You think that love shouldn't feel like this, that it's a prison.
You want to break it off with him. You're going to break it off with him but you don't know quite how. You know that he's not going to take it well no matter which way you tell him that it's over. You know his family isn't going to like the news and that scares you more. What scares you most of all is that you don't know how Harry will react. You're frightened to bits that he might take Ron's side.
But the note's been sent and there's nothing you can do to change your fate. It is as good as said – he'll know that it's over in not too long. All you can do is wait for the storm and hope one day that it will end.
If life were a fairy tale, it wouldn't have ended the way it did.
It turns out that Ron didn't really care that you wanted to break it off. You were relieved at first until you found out that he had been freely cheating on you with other girls at school. You feel like a fool especially as he claims that he was the one who dumped you. He says that you were cold and frigid and never thought about him and his needs. Of course everyone believes him because who could really care about someone like you.
It's very depressing so you sink yourself into your studies. If asked why you're always in the library, you insist it's because you have exams coming up. If asked why you're always reading, you insist that you need to help Harry and you're the brain so you can help him best by doing the research. You see him occasionally and Ron as well in the library. You're more suspicious than ever that they're just using you for your brains – you don't mind it so much with Harry but you absolutely hate it with Ron. You're forever sniping at him while Harry pretends to ignore the tension. He ignores your fighting and does his work and sometimes stares at pretty witches sitting in the room.
You're beginning to hate them both. Maybe hate's too strong a word for what you feel but there are days that you want to scream at both of them. You want to scream at Ron for being such an arrogant pig. You want to scream at Ron for cheating on you and never apologizing. You want to scream at Harry for sitting on the fence. You want to scream at Harry for never noticing you at his side.
One day you do.
If life were a fairy tale, he would have come crawling back. He would have begged for your forgiveness and admitted that you were right. He would have thanked you for always being at his side.
He never did any of that. What happens is that one day you're tired of being alone and you sit by him again. He doesn't say a thing about that time you lost your mind and screamed at him till your throat was raw. He just smiles at you and asks you to pass the toast. And that is that. He never mentions anything you said. He doesn't treat you much differently at all. The only thing different is that he tends to spend more time with you and you think that he might have missed you. You don't dare hope that though because you've been down that road before.
You're talking to Ron again as well. It's not like you have much choice as he's still Harry's best friend – you don't think you are because if you were, why didn't he see your side of the argument? – but things are very different with him now. He doesn't bait you like he used to do. He actually treats you with respect. You almost like the new Ron but you know that you could never trust him, not like you did before.
He asks you to the last dance to make it up to you. You refuse him and tell him to find a prettier girl. He's not happy to hear that but life's not a fairy tale so he doesn't beg for a second chance. You hear a rumor a couple days later that he did find a prettier girl. By the grin on his face, you're inclined to believe it. No one else asks you but you don't regret refusing him. You stay in your room and study instead.
If life were a fairy tale, you wouldn't be getting married like this.
You're still mad at yourself for being so stupid. You think maybe the reason why you were so thoughtless was because you had wanted him for so long and you weren't about to let such a small thing get in your way of having him, if only for a night. Despite that, you berate yourself for not having known better than to do what you did. Yet you can't change the past and neither of you are going to let someone else bear the consequences of your stupidity, especially when that someone else is your child. You both are getting married to make things as best as they can be.
That voice of doubt has been loud and clear lately. It reminds you constantly that Harry has not ever said that he loves you. It makes you wonder if you are doing the right thing. It makes you think that perhaps you shouldn't take this step. Unfortunately, you think it's too late to change your mind. You've already agreed to marry him and you're in the middle of eloping. You can't change your mind now.
Then it's over and you really can't change your mind at all. You don't get any sleep that night. You toss and turn. He's not disturbed in his rest for he's on the other side of the bed.
You can't sleep for your mind is consumed with worrying that you did the wrong thing.
If life were a fairy tale, he would have said that he loved you by now. It's been several months since your wedding and those words have not crossed his lips. Though you had many a meeting with your family and your friends, explaining to them that you're both really happy – he's not once said those words although you've said it about him.
And right now, you know beyond a doubt that he doesn't love you. That voice in the back of your head has convinced you of that. You think that you should offer him a way out, telling him that you don't mind and he would still get to see his child once your child is born. Yet you can't seem to gather the courage to tell him in person so you do the same thing you did before and send a note.
He finds you in the small library of the house you share, your note in his hand. He sits down by you and asks if you really want a divorce. You tell him that you don't want to tie him down.
If life were a fairy tale, he would say he loves you right now. He doesn't. He only gives you a small smile and says that he doesn't feel that way at all.
If life were a fairy tale, you would know by now. Preferably he would have said it, maybe over your son's birthday, but you would know without a doubt what he thinks of you. Unfortunately, life's not and you're left to wonder.
There are times that you almost hope that he does – when you three are just sitting together quietly in a room, there's a certain sparkle to his eyes that suggests he's very happy. You don't want to interrupt that happiness by actually asking that question. You wish that he'd volunteer that information like you did several times before. You drop him hints at times, especially during your arguments, that you think that he doesn't love you.
He never refutes them, not like he did all those earlier accusations made by other people of him fancying you. It makes you think that you have your answer, although it's not in words. It's his silence that tells you that he doesn't love you but you still long to know.
You hope one day you will.
If life were a fairy tale, you wouldn't have to ask. Yet you've realized that you've been stuck in a cycle of always wanting to know but being afraid to find out. You know that he cares for you but you wonder if it's merely as a friend or something more. You're a smart witch and you know life's not a fairy tale and that sometimes you have to do things that you wish to avoid. So one night after your son's asleep, you ask him.
He looks at you, confused. "Don't you know?"
You turn away to hide the tears in your eyes. "I think I do. Forget I asked."
"Of course I love you."
You've been holding on so tightly to the idea that he doesn't for such
a long time that you don't know what to do. Part of you want to yell
at him for keeping it a secret and making you so miserable but there's
another part of you that just wants to be happy for once. It says
you should forget what-should-have-beens and what-could-have-beens and
simply live for the moment. Life's not perfect, it hasn't been as
how you would have liked it. There are things that you would like
to go and change in the past but you can't do that. So you accept
the apologies he's been crying over and over and tell him that you love
Author's Note: Not my typical sort of fic, but I do hope you liked it just the same. I would really appreciate it if you'd let me know what you think by leaving a review.