I'm not normal, I'm dead. Such an odd thing to say, but it's true. I was supposed to die. I remember taking my last breath, and I remember the feeling of slipping away. I don't have the end to my life yet and I probably never will, for right now it's just beginning.


I sat in the passenger seat of Bella's orange truck, watching as the evergreen trees passed the windowpane, "Bella." I mumbled, "I wish they could just let me stay with you, I mean it feels stupid to have to go to a foster home when your my family."
Bella was my cousin, and after my parents had died in a car accident I had been tossed and turned in every foster home that would take me. I've been to five states and to ten homes in a span of four years, now I'm fifteen.

"I know." She told me, still keeping her eyes on the road, "But you heard what the court said, they think Charlie's job is too dangerous to have another kid in the house."

"But it's Fork's." I failed my arms out, "Nobody gets hurt here, and even if they did-"

"Exactly," Bella cut me off, "If Charlie passes Victoria and her crew then he's not going to leave them alive." She reminded me, "Which means we'll both be shoved into the system. Besides with all the killing's happening, that's probably why they won't let you stay with us."

"If vampires didn't exist my life would be so much easier." I mumbled, "Or cars."

Bella stopped the car at her house, "I'm sorry Ember." She wrapped her arms around my neck, "If I could make cars not hurt people I would in a snap."
"But you wouldn't change vampires from existing?"
"Obviously not." She laughed, "Then I wouldn't have Edward."
I shot her a glare, "If only true love was possible for all of us." I threw my hand to my heart.

"You'll get there eventually." She patted my arm, and opened the door to inside the house.

"At least I have one day here until I have to leave." I sighed, I felt my uncle Charlie wrap his arms around my neck.

"We'll make it a fun night Ember." He promised me, "Although there is a football game tonight."

"Football and pizza?" I asked, knowing that Charlie would make that offer, "I'm in."
He smiled and went to dial the pizza delivery, I went my own way upstairs. I sighed as I looked at Bella's room, it was weird Bella seemed to take it all for granted in my opinion. I knew in the end that Bella would turn to live with Edward, and she would cut her Mom and Dad off for the rest of her life. She would leave her small room and house behind and her parents, something that I never had. I had a small room for eleven years, an older brother for eleven years, and a family for eleven years. And then that one Tuesday evening everything changed. My parents were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice along with my brother Noah when the car hit a lightning pole and engulfed in flames. I sat at the edge of the volleyball court till eight pm wondering if they forgot about me. And then the police car pulled up and I was told the news. I had one more week left in my hometown in California and then I was taken to Florida for my first foster home.

I brushed away a tear from my cheek and went to my bag in the corner, I checked it once making sure every shirt and necklace was stored neatly. I always made sure I brought every clothing item I had. Because in the end that was all I personally owned.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, knocking at the door frame. I pulled myself together before turning around.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said shoving my hands in my pockets and masking a grin over my face. "Just making sure that everything I have is in the bag."

"Are you scared?" She asked me, "I mean about this new house."

I shrugged, "Kinda… but I've done it so much that I'm used to it at this point. I'm only worried if their nice. But I talked to Carlisle about the guy Derik, and he said his reputation is good."

"Does he have any kids?" Bella asked.

"A boy." I mumbled, "But I don't pay much attention to the kids. Just school, homework and sanity."

Bella laughed, "You can sit with me at lunch, and you know that."

"I'll pass." I giggled, "I would rather not third wheel with an entire group of vampires."

"Good point." She smiled.

Football and Dinner was a normal thing, nothing was special about it and I honestly didn't want it to be. I didn't like special moments when I left any foster home, but I guess I shouldn't have minded since it was family. That was the thing, the thing that frightened me the most about going to a foster home. Getting too attached, and then having to leave. So far it's only happened twice. Two times I've gotten attached, and cried on the way to the other home. I learned my lesson the last time, and I made a promise it would never happen again. I stared at the ceiling of Bella's bedroom, it had to be one am at least, she was asleep next to me. I couldn't sleep, my stomach was buzzing with butterflies.

I heard a thump from the window, "Gosh." I said in a hushed yell, "Edward could you try to act human."

He laughed softly, "Sorry Em." He eyed me again, "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer, only stared at the popcorn ceiling once again, "Yeah I'm just nervous."

"Carlisle tried to find as much information as he could on Derek." He reminded me crossing his arms and leaning against the windowpane.

"I know." I mumbled, "I just have a feeling I won't be getting much sleep tonight."

He nodded, "I understand the feeling." He told me, "Of moving around so much."

Did he though? Did he understand the feeling of losing everyone you love? At least he had Bella. I thought as I stared at the wall.

"Your right." Edward told me, "At least I have Bella."

"Shit Edward." I scoffed, "Stop doing that mind thingie."

He laughed, "I can't help it."

I stared at Bella next to me, breathing in and out softly as she slept, "Is this why you don't want her to change?" I asked, "So that she'll be able to sleep."

Edward laughed softly, sitting on the side of the bed, "No." He admitted staring at Bella's closed eyes, "I don't want her to be like me."

"Be like you?" I asked, "What's so wrong with you?"

He smiled softly, "Humans are not supposed to be like this Ember. Their supposed to grow old, and have children, and eventually their life is supposed to come to an end."

"I guess you're right." I mumbled, "I mean I could never be a vampire… no offense. I just see myself one day, getting old and having grandchildren run around." I sighed, "That is if I ever get married." I reminded myself.

"Someday you will Em." He promised me, "Just don't get a vampire boyfriend and maybe your plan will work out."

"Maybe." I said, I turned around on the pillow and pulled the blankets farther up to my neck.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked, "It might be nerving for people to sleep with someone who will never sleep in the same room."

"No." I said, "With Victoria running around I don't like sleeping without one of you around, besides it makes Bella and I feel safe."

"Is that why your so scared to leave?" He asked.

"I'm not so scared." I defended myself.

"Ember." he whispered as Bella stirred, "I can read your thoughts."

"Okay… fine… kinda."

"I'll have Emmett near the house every night." He smiled at me.

"Thank you." I told him.

I fell back to my side and tried to imagine something peaceful, Edward being in the room helped he did make me feel safe. The Cullens were like family to me, I've known them for six months (that's when I had moved here for awhile) and I would visit them almost every day. Esme was truly like a Mother and her presence was warmth and comforting. Carlisle was more serious than Esme and he made sure everyone was safe at all times. All of the 'siblings' were good company to keep, and they all made me feel welcome. But Edward was like a brother at least he reminded me of Noah in a way.


"Are you sure?" Charlie asked me handing me my bag, "I can drive you."

"I'm sure uncle Charlie, besides Edward has a perfectly fine car he can drive me, and therefore you won't be late for work." I reminded him, I could tell that Charlie didn't like the idea of me going on a car ride with Edward.

"Make sure that Derek will let you visit?" Charlie asked.

"He already said he would to CPS. Charlie seriously don't worry so much." He opened the door for me and I stepped out.

He engulfed me in a hug, "I'll see you soon okay Ember?"

"Of course, I love you guys." I smiled to Bella and Charlie.

"Ok! Enough tears go on Em!" Charlie waved me to Edwards car and Bella followed.

I hopped in the back of his jeep, staring at the road as the scenery passed us. I was sick to my stomach, clutching onto the window until my knuckles were snow white. "Are you nervous?" Edward said from ahead of me.

"Kinda." My mouth was dry, I didn't like to talk on the way to a new home. The conversations were always awkward, and my head was consumed with anxiety anyways so words didn't transfer to my mouth.

"It's all going to be fine." Bella reminded me, I nodded not believing her at all.

The rest of the ride was silent, I felt like I was going to throw up at every bump I closed my eyes when I felt the car slow down and buried my head in my knee. I didn't open them until I felt Edward unlocked the door and I felt a gush of air rush into the car.

I leveled my eyes to the house, it looked alright. Similar to Bella's at least, with two stories and a nice exterior with a bright red door. I grabbed my backpack with a shaky hand, and stepped out onto the concrete which now felt of rubber. I felt my bodyweight shift and Edward placed a cold hand on my shoulder to level me, "You're sure your alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I lied.

Bella smiled from next to me, "Do you want us to walk up to the door with you?"

"No-" I started.

"Were going anyways." Edward quickly cut off my words.

I shot at him a glare, "No." I argumented.

"Why?" He said as if I were implying to a kill a dog.

"Because." I murmured, "I don't want it to feel like a goodbye."

"It won't be." Bella promised rubbing my shoulder.

I stared at her with a smile, "But if feels like it… every time."
I watched as Bella and Edward exchanged concerned glances, "Alright… alright. We won't go." Bella caught me in a side hug, "I'll see you soon." She promised.

Edward caught me in his own clutch, making sure his stone body wasn't crushing my frail one. I heard a rusty door open while my head was buried his his chest, I looked up to see teenage boy standing in the doorway of the house. Maybe my age, a year older perhaps?

"Ember…. Ember May right?" He asked, stepping down from the porch.

I nodded, "Uh yeah."

He held his hand out to me, "I'm Jay… Derek's kid." He pointed to the house, "I can show you inside."
I nodded, "I'll see you guys soon." I nodded to both Bella and Edward.

"Take care of her… please." Bella said with a heart throbbing look.

Edward looked at my eyes, as if sharing a telepathic message that he would be near the house. It was weird, as if I could tell what he was trying to say. I won't say mind reading, but something like it. I nodded.

"Here I'll take that." He grabbed my backpack from my shoulder, he seemed decent enough. But I could never tell. He opened the large red door into his bright home, which was odd Forks was never a usually bright place. There was a large living room with a fireplace that was crackling lightly with a bowl of fruit on the coffee table, the kitchen was next to it with white cabinets and marble countertop, with bright lights illuminating the room.

"Your house is pretty." I smiled to Jay in a monotone voice.

"Thanks." he said with a smile, he seemed way to energetic, "Um… I have to warn you." and here was the catch that every house had, "My Dad he's a little… off."

I stared at him, trying to hide my fear, "What? What do you mean?" I stammered.

"I mean uh… he… I don't think he's in for… um."

"For taking care of a kid?" I questioned him.

"Yeah…" He mumbled back wiping the sweat off his palms, "Were a little tight on money so-"

"So he's in it for the money." I ended the conversation fast and bitter.

He nodded, "I can help if things get bad when he's not here, but when he's not I'm going to need to keep my distance."

"Sure." I said calmly, even though my insides were burning with rage.

He gave me a soft grin, "I'll show your room." He began to walk up the stairs and led to me the last room in the hallway. I stopped in my tracks the white door had a large wooden slap across the front, one that was used for intense locking in.

"It used to be my sisters." He showed me inside, the bed was a soft pink with a dresser and a desk. There was one photo of the beach, and a notebook on the end table with a pencil and that was it. The windows were boarded in with wooden slabs and even the air vent had a large metal lock in it.

"So your sister was locked in this room?" I scanned the room very quickly.

He gave a short and awkward laugh, "She went off to college, and my Dad and her aren't really close." He shrugged, "There's a bathroom too, just in that corner." he pointed to a small door, I opened it apprehensively.

I scanned the simple restroom for a window, or any way of emergency escape but nevertheless everything was boarded up with large locks. The shower at least looked welcoming.

"Can I take a shower?" I asked. He nodded and left the room in a hurry.

He stopped at the door, "My Dad will be home in an hour or so, and he'll go over everything there."
He closed the door and I could hear the bolts being attached and locked, I was locked in. I knew how to pick a normal door lock, but there was five large metal blocks attached to a wooden slab that went across the handle.

I didn't try to shove the door, I just went immediately to the bathroom and cranked the water the hottest it could go. I stared at my reflection in the mirror-through the fog. A tear dropped down my chin as I stared at the reflection of the same sad teenage girl I had seen for four years. I looked like my Mom, brown hair, green eyes and pale skin with freckles splashed all over me.

I stepped into the sweltering hot shower, I tried not to cry but all I could think of was what the hell was going to happen.