the power behind a name
Summary: It is a sad, sad day when one realizes they destroyed all of their fellow BL fanfic writers' dreams just by existing. In other words, hi, I'm Princess Lelouch, and between not dying and saving the entire world, I still have to decide whether I want to go for the yuri harem route, or skedaddle with Suzaku and say goodbye to slash...BL lovers, pls have mercy. SI!fem!Lelouch
Disclaimer: Do you really think I'll be writing fanfiction if I owned Code Geass?
Chapter I: Fem!Lelouch? Who, me?
Now, I wasn't usually one to swear, but there was really no other word that could sum up my current situation in such a neat manner.
Oh my f*ck, I thought again, with feeling, as I stared blankly at the bloody carnage that covered the once pristine staircase. My mother Marianne lay collapsed on the ground, covered in red whilst holding my probably traumatized younger sister.
However, this horrific scene wasn't the reason why I was currently having a mental breakdown.
Because—Marianne, oh my f*ck. My mother's name was Marianne!
"Don't look, Princess!" One of the guards yelled before a large hand reached over to cover my eyes. Frozen in place, I didn't stop him as my mind raced and pieced together all the small coincidences I had been previously happy to ignore.
My name was Lelouch.
I was the Third Princess of the Holy Britannian Empire, and I had a younger sister named Nunnally.
In addition, I had silky black hair, expressive purple eyes, pale skin, and—
...And damn, I literally got a good look at myself in the mirror every morning, so how did I not recognize who I was?! I was pretty much the spitting image of fem!Lelouch!
The real Lelouch must be rolling in his spiritual grave after witnessing my stupidity for a whole decade!
"Is Princess Nunnally alright—?"
"Jeremiah, take Princess Lelouch away from here—!"
"Sh*t, where are the medics?!"
The guard covering my eyes began steering me away from the clusterf*ck as he murmured soothing platitudes into my ears. Distantly, I noticed that his voice was trembling something fierce, even as he forced some cheer into his words.
Mm, I appreciated the guard's attempt at calming me, but it was really quite useless. After all, it wasn't every day one realizes they transmigrated into the Code Geass world, and as the genderbent main character to boot!
I was allowed to freak out a bit, alright?!
Out of all the possible places I could end up in, why was it the backstabbing, death aplenty Code Geass world?! Where the author (presumably) actually killed off the normally cockroach-like main character?!
Yoo-hoo, could I get a refund please?!
"Princess," the guard—Jeremiah, was it?—began in a worried tone. "Are you alright?"
At his inquiry, I was momentarily at a loss for words. It wasn't like I could say something like:
'Oh I'm just peachy, I just realized that my father and my recently deceased (but not) mother are evil masterminds bent on destroying the world as we know it.'
'Hehehehe I'm fine but some of my darling siblings (namely Big Brother Clovis and little Euphie) won't be by the end of this story. And it'll be all my fault, whoops.'
'Hi you're looking at the next evil mastermind, would you like to leave a message for the future me?'
"Princess?" Jeremiah asked, his distress almost materializing with how anxious he sounded. Snapping out of my self-deprecating daze, I grit my teeth before replying in the calmest voice I could muster, "Yes, I'm completely unharmed."
Physically unharmed, at least. My mental state, on the other hand...
...Actually, I didn't think I was too badly off right now. After all, although I don't remember a lot from my previous life, I did live to my late teens. With the decade I lived in the Code Geass world added on to my previous age, I was probably nearing thirty mentally. My mind definitely wasn't as fragile as a real ten-year old child.
In any case, I definitely wasn't about to storm Father's palace any time soon to make demands. I wasn't about to get me and Nunnally disowned, especially when Nunnally needed all the medical care she could get. I doubt she would be treated well in Japan, where we would essentially be abandoned hostages.
In all honesty, other than the faint worry I had for Nunnally buzzing under my skin, I felt relatively composed. And although I was indeed worried for Nunnally's condition, it was hard to feel anything stronger than the shock I felt when I realized exactly who I was. In addition, I knew Nunnally would be alright for the time being.
After all, thanks to her brother's efforts, she ended up becoming the Empress of Britiannia.
Lelouch...I, on the other hand...
Uh, I either got stabbed to death by my future ex-best friend, or I attained immortality. Come to think of it, which Code Geass world was I in? Was it the anime one, or the movie AU one?
...Not that it would matter either way. It wasn't like I had watched all the movies or the anime. In fact, the only Code Geass thing I had watched was the latest movie, the Re;surrection one.
My roommate had gotten free tickets for the movie when it premiered in theaters and dragged me along after making me watch a ten minute youtube video recap. Unsurprisingly, I understood absolutely nothing when I watched it, and only got the gist of the plot after I went home and read some character wikias and fanfiction.
Yeah, I knew some main plot points of this franchise, but I didn't know anything else. Which. Didn't really bode well for my future.
For the first time since I started dying over my studies in university, I felt the urge to strangle my past self for not chilling out more. What use was all that studying if I ended up transmigrating into a fictional world?! It would be so much better if I spent that time actually watching the anime and the movies!
Right now, with the minimum foreknowledge I knew, I was probably only slightly better off than the original Lelouch.
...No, actually, I was far more doomed than he ever was.
Because that had been Lelouch! Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, the Eleventh Prince of the Holy Britannian Empire! He had been the cunning, calculative teenager who managed to bring the world to their knees.
And despite sharing his name and his appearance, I was just...me.
I wasn't that Lelouch. Nunnally wasn't my reason for living. I did love her, yes, but I was also quite close to my other siblings. In fact, in my previous life, I never wanted a little sister. I never wanted to become a big sister who needed to protect her younger siblings. Instead, I just selfishly wanted an older brother or an older sister who could protect me.
It was why, despite not sharing a mother, I was still very close to all my older siblings in this world. I tagged along with Clovis whenever he visited art museums, and sometimes spent hours just watching him paint. Schneizel was the one who took care of me during the months mother...Marianne had been busy with Nunnally, and he indulged almost all my whims despite his hectic schedule. Guinevere taught me high fashion and etiquette, while Cornelia taught me combat. Even Odysseus, who was almost never home, still pampered me and took me to places like the zoo whenever he was free.
Despite our rather dysfunctional family, to me, they were all very good older siblings. It was hard to relate every one of them to the text I had once read on their wikia pages.
Clovis, who only cared about himself. Schneizel, who could gun down Cornelia in cold-blood. Cornelia, who cared most about Euphemia.
Marianne, mother, who didn't mind sacrificing her children for her goals. Whose kindness, whose mothering were all just a facade.
My eyes burned.
"Princess!" Jeremiah's panicked voice cut through my dreary thoughts. "You..."
Repressing a flinch at the sudden interruption, I tugged the corner of my lips into a smile before lifting my head to face him. "Yes?"
When he saw my face, the man appeared as if he was slapped. Hesitating for only a split second, Jeremiah reached over and then...
Pulled me into a warm hug?
"Sir?" I asked, tone coloured with disbelief. It wasn't that I was against being hugged, but touching royalty like this without permission was a crime, one that could get you arrested!
"It's alright, Princess," Jeremiah murmured softly. "I'm sure Princess Nunnally will be fine. Please do not cry."
It was only then did I realize my face was streaked with tears.
AN: Watched Re;surrection, got stuck in the fandom, and then decided to write a terribly self-indulgent SI fic in hopes of being kicked out? LMAO. Hope someone enjoys this!