Disclaimer: I do not own FF8 in any way and all the characters from the game are not mine.

AN: A HUGE thanks goes out to the four of you who reviewed (shout outs at the end) To all those who didn't review...well, if you read the story and you didn't review 'cause you didn't like it, please leave a review. I just wanna know why you didn't like it =) Constructive criticism is always welcome. (NOT FLAMES). Here it is, chapter 20. This is the last chapter for now. After this chapter, I would like to direct your attention to a new fic I will be writing. It is the prequel of this story and it'll tell you all you need to know ~_^ Trust me, the story cannot continue without the prequel.

Chapter 20: Darkened Past

I got lucky. They backed off at the last second. I didn't know if I had it in me to kill them and feel the horror of killing somebody again. These are my principles and I have stuck by them for the longest time. When I make plans, they are very concrete. Nothing changes.

I scared myself when I fought Fujin and Raijin. Why? Because I blatantly ignored my principles. I have never done something like that before. Never. So why did I do it? I know exactly why.

I had every intention of killing Cid. Really, I did. I wouldn't be the one to kill him, but I definitely had my mind set that by the end of the day, Cid would be a dead man. Right now my three most important principles are simple. Following all orders without hesitation is what I believe in. It is my life's principle. What I have built myself around.

The second principle is more recent. The oath I swore to myself about never taking another life. I've stuck to both these principles like glue. But when I was about to turn Cid over to Raijin, I couldn't do it.

I saw Rinoa.

I'm afraid. Because I almost disobeyed all of my principles. All of them. But so far, I have only disobeyed two. What's the third one you ask? The third principle is that I could never, NEVER, fall in love with anyone ever again. And I think I broke it...

When I looked at Rinoa today, I felt something inside me that felt like there was a lobster in my stomach trying to rip it open with it's claws (don't ask why it's a lobster). I couldn't control myself. Before I knew it, I had turned on my comrades and sided with Balamb.

I heard footsteps outside the house. My metasite hearing could hear an owl flap it's wings from 200 yards away. No way was I missing loud footsteps. Judging by the sound of the footsteps, the person was probably a lightly built male around 120 to 130 pounds. Whoever it was, they had just arrived and was knocking on the door. Irvine let him/her in.

I was already tensed up for a fight. I guess I've sort of become paranoid after the fight and became prepared for any assassins. I loosened up when I heard Zell's voice. "Hey Irvine" greeted Zell. I didn't know Zell too well, he was a metasite as well and apparently a very weak one. He was a good friend of Rinoa's and therefore hung out with her group of friends a lot.

"What's up Zell?"

"I'm looking for Squall. Is he in?"

What? Why the hell would Zell be looking for me out of the blue? Sure, he could be considered a friend of mine, but when did he ever come looking for me?

"He's in, but I haven't talked to him since...you know...you can try, but whatever happens to you, it's not my responsibility." Irvine said. He let out a grim laugh.

"Alright. You sure he's in? I can't here a thing up there..." he said.

"Yeah I'm sure, I know when he's in." Irvine let out another little laugh.

I really didn't want to be bothered at the moment so I slowed my heart down and silenced my breathing. But damn Irvine has a knack for these things. Maybe that's why he's the best SeeD in Balamb.

Zell was thumping up the stairs now and I guess I couldn't ignore him so I just opened the door and let him in.

"What do you want Zell?" I said. I made my tone of voice so that it was perfectly clear I didn't want him sticking around.

He just stared at me with this dumbass grin on his face for about five seconds.

"What do you want?" I repeated.

"Well...that was just really cool what you did to those two guys today!" he just blurted it out.

"If that's all you're going to say, then get the hell out."

"No, it's not all...I just wanted to know how you did that." he said.

Well, that certainly caught me off guard. I didn't even know what he meant.

"What are you talking about? Do what?"

"You know...take out the other metasites...I'm a metasite myself and I didn't even catch your movements...how did you do it?"

OHHH that's all he wanted to know...How am I supposed to tell someone how I do it???

"I don't know. I just...do it."

Okay, maybe it was a crappy description...a VERY crappy description. But I really had no idea! Honest!

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you wanna know?"

"Er....well...I kinda...it was just really cool to see you do that...and well, I'm kind of a shitty metasite...I was wondering if you could...like...teach me?" he said

What?! This is just absurd! I mean seriously! Do I look like the kinda guy who would teach someone??? I sure as hell hope not!

"W-w-what?!" was all I could choke out. I was seriously shocked.

"I know it's getting to the point real quick, but...will you do it?" he asked.

There it was, the golden question of a lifetime. Damn it! Of course I wouldn't do it!

"No way. NO FRICKIN WAY." I said. It was firm and clear. But the guy persisted.

"Awww come on man...Please? I'm really getting laughed at and stuff right now. And...geez you're everything I've ever wanted to be!" he said.

The guy had determination, that's for sure. But he didn't seem to get the point. I had to make sure he got it. And I had to do it with efficiency.

In a lightning quick movement, I ignited Lionheart and whipped the sword at Zell holding the blade to his neck so that one twitch would send his head flying.

"Now, either you listen to me, or I'm going to cut you up into little chunks. GET OUT." I said.

"B-b-but...come on man! I wasn't even ready for that!"

"There's no such thing as being ready. In a fight, your opponent's not going to wait for you to be ready." I said then instantly regretted it.

Zell started laughing.

"Thanks for teaching me that. You're a fine teacher!" he said.

"Shut up Zell." I kept my voice calm but I was really angry at the shit head. My blade was steady and still leveled at his neck ready to decapitate him.

"Okay okay, I'm outta here...Sheesh"

I lowered my blade and sheathed it. As Zell walked out of the room he turned around at the doorway and said:

"You know, I really look up to you. All of us do. And we all want to be like you, Rinoa included. If you change your mind, just tell me, kay?"

And then he left. I sat on my bed and gave a sigh.

"You really don't want to be like me..."

I woke up the next morning with the biggest hangover in the world. I felt so bad I threw up seven times in a span of five minutes. Metasites don't get hungover by alcohol. I can chuck wine all day and not get drunk.

I've just had a lot on my mind. It just got all messed up and, therefore, made me all sick and crap like that.

I brushed my teeth and then took a close look at myself in the mirror. My hair was still too long (have yet to cut it) My eyes were bloodshot, and my gaze was all out of focus. I looked (as well as felt) terrible.

Last night, I was still debating whether or not I should leave. Surely everyone would hate me now. Although both Zell and Rinoa have had positive attitudes towards me, Irvine hasn't talked to me and neither has anyone else for that matter.

I decided that I would go to the Garden one last time and tell Cid I was leaving. I caused too much pain and suffering as well as the lives of at least three aspiring metasites. I also jeopardized Cid's life and I felt that I owe it to the man to tell him I was leaving.

But I didn't go in Irvine's car. I went by myself. Using the rooftops and trees around Balamb, I could easily escape traffic and get there faster than most people.

I arrived early. Before everybody else got there. The only people there were instructors, staff, and the headmaster. I avoided everyone's eyes and headed straight to Cid's office.

The secretary eyed me with a mixture of confusion and sadness and instructed me to take a seat.

Within a few minutes she opened up the doors and I entered the headmaster's office. It was dark and had a haunting feeling to it. Although Cid had the blinds wide open, the grey clouds outside cast a gloomy shadow over the whole room.

Cid looked up from his desk at me and he had, curiously enough, a very kind smile.

"Take a seat, Squall." he said.

This was SO not what I was expecting. I was expecting to be in control of this conversation and then leave. Not having him tell me to take a seat. Nonetheless, I still pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Sir, I'm resigning from this Ga-" I said but was cut off.

"Squall, I am not angry at you and neither is anyone else in Balamb. Resigning from this Garden is not going to help you." he said with a solid tone and no hint of amusement in his voice.

He spoke in a way that only a fighter would speak.

"Sir...were you ever a soldier?" I asked.

He was smiling before I finished the question and nodding his head.

"You're a bright one. I was indeed a soldier. I retired thirty years ago in my prime. You didn't think they'd let me be commander of Balamb Garden just for being an only man did you?" he laughed "That's why I'm telling you this Squall. I see massive potential in you."

I let out a short, sarcastic sort of laugh. I couldn't help it.

"Sir, my potential's used up. I've already reached my full potential." I said.

"Not true Squall. There is still potential for you. Maybe not a lot more, but there is still a bit. I can see it in your eyes. You hesitated yesterday when Raijin and Fujin were about to attack the second time. Why?" he said.

That scared me. He knew.

"How did you know, sir?" I asked.

"Like I said Squall, I can see it in your eyes."

"But I was in my metasite armor."

"So? Your eyes are your eyes Squall. And they give you away. Learn to mask them and then you will be at your maximum. That is something nobody can teach you. You yourself must open up and not keep everything bottled up inside like that. Don't be afraid Squall. For now, just go to class. We'll talk again."

That was it. He ushered me away and left me with those words.

Those may seem like confusing words to some, but I knew exactly what Cid was talking about. I must remember to thank him later on and give him a gift or something. Maybe something nice like one of those big baskets full of fruits and chocolate...

But that can wait. I have to find Rinoa right now.

I scoured the halls trying to find her. It was impossible trying to detect her with my metasite since there were so many kids. The Garden is so quiet in the morning before anyone gets there but once the students arrive, it jumbles up my senses and I can only tell if someone's attacking me (which has never happened yet).

Finally after what seemed like a year, I found Rinoa. She was on the second floor and I was on the first but I didn't want to waste time going to the elevator and risk losing her again so I just used the legs of the metasite armor and ran about two stories vertically up the wall and jumped so I landed in front of her. I took her hand and led her to the elevator with people still staring at me 'cause of my little jumping trick.

"Squall, what are you d-" she started.

"We have to talk. Please just follow me."

"Well, you're not really giving me a choice." she said. I saw her roll her eyes.

I led her to a place in the forest which was a nice area surrounded by trees. There was a caterchipillar there but I smacked it away with Lionheart. Caterchipillar's aren't like normal animals, they only really care about there own species. Most other creatures would respect a metasite. But force is needed with caterchipillar's.

Anyway, Rinoa sat on a stump and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"What do you want to talk about Squall? You ran away yesterday." she said with total annoyance in her voice.

"Listen Rinoa. There's still a lot you don't know about me. I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. But listen to me and please, don't interfere until I'm finished with my story even though it may be really tempting. Don't worry about your classes. They are nothing. Now please, just listen, to my WHOLE story."

AN: OKAY! We are finished! This is part one of the metasite story! Thanks for all those who reviewed. Now I'd like to direct your attention to the prequel of this fic. It is about Squall's childhood and his life before this story. Please read it! The title will be "Metasite: Birth of a Hero". Shout outs!

remote mine: thanks for the review. I really appreciate it. And yes, most definitely, GO RINOA! Hahaha I didn't want Rinoa to be a weak female lead in this story lol

Yuleen75: you're a new reviewer! Thanks! I think your English is alright...I can understand most of it. Glad you like the story and read the prequel!

Ari-Morrigan: thanks for your reviews. They always cheer me up! Glad to hear the suspense was effective. If you want to know what's wrong with Squall, read the prequel! (I'm trying to get people to be as psyched about it as I am =P)

Angie: another new reviewer! Two in a week! Hopefully I updated fast enough for ya lol Please read the prequel!

Okay, that's all. Only four reviews for this chapter but they were all great. If you guys want an e-mail heads-up when I post Metasite: Birth of a Hero, then leave a review with you e-mail address or send me an e-mail @ and I will send everybody who reviewed an e-mail telling you when the story will be up! Thanks again everybody!