The following is a fan-based


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The wonderful aspect of a reluctant hero is that he or she doesn't have to adhere to any stereotype, such as being incredibly strong or a trained kung-fu master. These can be average guys off the street; indeed, it's often their simple, homespun down-to-earth thinking that saves the day. This ordinariness is an important factor in allowing the audience to understand and bond with the hero.

- Quote from The Art of Game Characters, by Leo Artas.

Prologue: Memento Auctoris

I need to ask out of morbid curiosity and intrigue:

Do you know about those stories where people get sent to other worlds; these places that you think are fiction and well-contained within ink, bytes or even spoken words but eventually turns out that those are actually true, just for the sake of some cosmic mission 'only you' can deal with?

That is something that always hits people with a sense of reluctant interest but genuine crave: escapism in its sweetest form, the kind of drug that no matter how addictive it is, you have to make use of it for the sake of having some peace in life..

But sometimes escapism isn't as good as we hope, the bleach we ingest the moment we realize that reality will still find a way to make us all miserable is there to keep us from floating too far from the land and right into the scorching sun.

Sometimes the very journey is what makes us feel the worst as we could be detained from our world, kidnapped merely on the whim of some lazy deity with no compassion.

Just give empty words of encouragement, sprinkle in some super-power, and the meat-puppets start to dance like demented madmen.

Am I making sense with these words?

Obviously no one cares about the protagonist, they care about the actions they take, the words that are provided to make them realistic to the naked eye and... I am incredibly tired.

Sometimes no one wants the isekai, either because the genre turns stale once in a while or because people build up on some emotionless shield for this kind of stuff, dulled by the over-saturation of the stories of freedom and undeniable friendship. A need to preserve what is past, what was good and worth of cherish.

Am I making sense with these words?

...Maybe I am. But in the moment of agony that follows the sense of crude realization, the dread that ever-consumes the sanity of someone that merely doesn't care... words stop making sense.

Chapter 1: Road to NOT end the world!

That is why when I woke up in some shady alley in Mistral, Remnant (The world of RWBY for Pete's sake!), I was quite demoralized by what was going on.

I was quick to remember the things I left undone back home and the lack of a need to escape from the real world eventually caught up with the childish awe and wonder of being somewhere far from my daily troubles.

Imagine my discomfort when I learned I was now going to eventually die.

The kind of death that is not bestowed upon those who had their bodies destroyed, obliterated, or butchered by battles or anything even so closely mundane, but the one of the mind, of the ever-so-frail soul.

When I quickly noticed the whispering in my head, I recognized Ozpin questioning my current whereabouts.

I felt nauseated at the mere idea of what I was supposed to face if things were as dreadful as I thought them to be.

The Wizard lived, he survived cycles of life while the previous host's soul wouldn't because of some Godly curse.

When would it happen, when would the bitter and cruel toll come to pass?

I didn't know, I wasn't sure of it, but at least I found minor relief it wasn't an innocent fifteen years old Oscar Pine that was going to face the tribulations of this sickening predicament at hand.

The numbness create by the absurd situation vanished the very moment I felt the first drops of the rain starting to fall calmly around me, droplets reaching my skin and 'waking' me up from my quiet turmoil.

My body was getting cold as I was wearing light clothing and it was easy to get the chills already from just staying in that very place.

I also blamed my introverted lifestyle as I was used to some kind of warmth normal of living in a modest house but...

I was fine.

The three words that made the world go 'round.

We are all fine.


And I can't stop here.

I bet whoever left me in this predicament expects me to merrily go on the jolly path to Canon, to face the great threats placed by Salem along the way, maybe even clash with the two idiotic deities waiting by the end.

Or even let those Gods kill everyone by rekindling humanity's cycle once more.

When the discovery over what was by the end reached my ears, that the protagonists were hellbent to reunite the relics despite the underline threat composed by the divine beings so greedily waiting to return, I couldn't help but be disgusted by how hopeless a journey of that kind would be.

Yet, among the disappointment and the dread, I was so sure of a very little detail, something that many could see as a panicked thought or a terrible realization of the world.

But I will not commit a genocide.

I will not partake in any mass-murdering for the sake of someone being unable to face their ex-wife with normal procedures, because he failed to intervene when needed.

A spineless coward that used humanity by manipulating them all to rush and die in front of an enemy that could easily be contained.

We don't need to kill her. Just… keep her from hurting anyone.

That is why a new resolve started to build up as I walked out from the darkness of the alley where I woke up into, my mind set to walk away from Haven and out of Mistral.

I could feel something lashing furiously within my core, trying to push me out and steal the control over my body and... failing in this miser process.

I was surprised and… flattered that I could see something as horrifying as possession failing with me of all people.

I didn't need a centuries-old mastermind taking over the very things I had left to use in this world, my body and soul.

I was defenseless, no weapons nor anything that could be used to fend off against any of the threats lurking in this kingdom.

Grimm and bandits, of monsters and men.

Still I couldn't help but consider why Ozpin was failing against my resilience, maybe it was because Oscar and other previous hosts had been unaware of the Wizard's slow grip into their defenses, in an attempt to fully takeover their bodies one step at the time, but I was fully aware, conscious and quite opposed to it.

So when I felt him still trying to get a grip over my soul... I just shook him off.

It was abstract, it was like something pull at myself but slowly being yanked away from conceiving more unnerving emotions with his effort.

While this might sound overly-simple and particularly little-described, I was surprised a bit myself over the easy process too as I certainly didn't expect to brush him off this easily.

His voice turned into a whisper, possibly because this first attempt may have been a drain on his already-limited reserves.

I smiled at the small victory and my mind sounding clearer than before as I finally walked out of the city, my eyes glancing at the small signpost few meters away from the path I was walking through.

I blinked, surprise lifting once more from my core.

Oniyuri - 10km

Oh joy, I was going to have quite the march in front of me considering that there was so much to do in that distinct section of the world.

From this point onward, I decided to tune out my usual negativity for the sake of survival, just to give myself an advantage of not getting stalked by any Grimm wandering the lands.

How did I manage this immense issue, considering how slightly nervous I felt over the sudden shift to Remnant?

When I start to sing calmly something that is as good as it is positive, my mind switches to a more cheerful mood and I wasn't certainly settling for something casual.

So, picking up the pace and smiling tentatively, I started to hum the marching song and then...

I was singing loudly while increasing my pace to a jogging one, completely whisking away my sense of self-preservation and my worries, just to have something to break the nerve-wracking development.

What a strange day to be alive.

After half an hour of exhausting my knowledge of marching songs into this little experience, I finally reached my destination.

Soon I found myself staring at a distant settlement in the horizon and I started to analyze the predicament before me.

If I had to be honest, Oniyuri wasn't certainly a place I was particularly acknowledged about, my limited info being that it was used as the battleground for the little skirmish of RNJR + Qrow versus Tyrian.

Maybe I should have picked the known trail of villages 'explored' by the series and risked an encounter with RNJR... then maybe get shafted because Ozpin would be able to do something with that situation.

The fear of getting caught, of being forced to follow through with their silly attempt against Salem, was unacceptable for my fervent sense of making things right by my own opinion.

No Gods. No Ozpin and no Salem.

I wanted things to be whole once more without any grand players ruining the immense potential that Remnant could achieve if left alone from external threats/helpers.

I wanted to make humanity survive the incoming storm and...

And I seriously wanted to destroy the silly mentality that those Dumbledore-lookalikes are the only ones capable of subverting the chess board to their advantage.

No more chess for y'all.

Play some fun checkers without using your tactics on real people.

I had avoided all contact with the inhabitants of the small city I woke up in and I was thankful that I spared the smallest of glances to memorize their features.

Just a reminder, I repeated within my mind as I continued to ignore the ranting of the manipulator within my skull, to remember that I was in the right, that I had a lone duty for those people.

No one above my head or station telling me what to do.

Just poor, little me and my idea of salvation.

Was I being egocentric? Just a little, but who isn't in this story?

Who is really the protagonist here? Ruby? Jaune? ZWEI?!

Actually, speaking of protagonist-related issues, it was genuinely unnerving how the path I had taken had been lacking any sort of... monstrous obstacles.

Maybe it was because I was walking in an open field, a place where ambushes were pretty much useless for simple-minded creatures like the Grimm or maybe...

Maybe Salem was playing her strategies like chess too, giving a bare freedom to her 'children'.

It would explain how and why only a few zones were considered dangerous and why those were places with a high number of hunters. Like Huntsmen Academies.

That would explain the Emerald Forest but... meh.

There was too little to truly say what was the cause of the quite uneventful trip and frankly-speaking, I loved being this lucky once in a while at the beginning of this journey without jinxing myself out of boredom.

Speaking of deserted places and desolate ruins, Oniyuri looked every bit like a real ghost town from Earth… if said ghost town was mostly modern to look at.

No Grimm, no humans and I hardly doubt there were any bandits hanging around for some looting of the supplies left around by the citizens here.

As I entered the place, I could feel the absurdity of my current predicament slam onto my brain once more as I was faced with such silence and lack of life.

I could try to raid this settlement and get something from the place, being that I was quite alone and far too weak compared to a large majority of battle-hardened criminals roaming Mistral and I wouldn't be incorrect to think of myself as 'irrelevant' in the current table of things.

I was quite sure that the only reason Salem knew about Ozzie's whereabouts was all because of her connection (and abuse) with Lionheart('s coward sense of self-preservation).

Without that element, my current situation was effectively unknown to the Witch and her clique, thus denying her the means to give me any issues for the time being.

The only bad thing was that I was effectively deprived of any means of communicating with people without having to deal with the chance getting noticed by her.

So I was pretty much stuck in forced isolation for the sake of survival for the time being.

What a good way to die...

Yet my overly-positive thoughts were instantly crushed the moment I reached a large, warehouse-like building and opened its tall doors.

The metal groaned, some of the debris were trying to stop its opening but it was already… done.

Oh… Oh my...


I walked inside and then close to one of the seemingly infinite crates filling the storage space of this place, blinking numbly at the words written on the visible tag: "7.62mm."

The following two minutes were spent looking left and right at the various tags visible by the wooden boxes.

There were Dust crystals, ammunition, some standard guns, several assault rifles and two snipers, and several crates with food, clothes and medical equipment.

Did I just stumbled into heaven?

I mean, I couldn't see any junkfood around but... I could live with the steaks preserved in simple plastic bags and some water bottles inside some of the open boxes.

Part of me questioned the possibility of ditching my mission to 'save the world' and just settle there until I had the resources to survive.

I could live off of what was here, even start some small plantation of tomatoes and apples with the more than enough seeds in the warehouse.

But then I would be too entrenched to escape a surprise assault from Salem, which would be a terrible idea whatsoever.

While the woman was currently unaware of my whereabouts, she was still capable of launching a full scouting operation with Nevermores and land-type Grimm to search the entirety of the world.

Considering that it was her ditching husband we were talking about, I could see her take some dangerous steps for the sake of finding where I was.

It was best for me to leave the place as fast as possible... but I would have to also ditch most of the delightful things there.

It was in that moment that I felt an annoying sparkle blinding me.

It was coming from the window reach my eyes and, just as I turned to see the cause of this unholy and unneeded light I found quite the novelty waiting outside the warehouse.

It was a truck, nothing particularly recognizable from one from back home but it had the big frame only a truck could have considering its cargo section.

Some bits looked to have rusted over the time spent there but it seemed to be still in working order.

Wasting no time in ogling this old beauty, I walked outside to check if it still had some fuel and-

Yep, it was ready to go.

The fuel tank was surprisingly full and it seemed that nothing from the long-time spent idle there had ruined the highly-flammable liquid.

Before trying to do anything else over the matter, I decided to give a quick look around the proximity of the building as the sudden suspicion that someone could still be around and could be waiting to ambush me.

An ugly theory born from my genuine Stalin-like paranoia.

I sighed in relief when my brief patrol found no one around, thus confirming that the area lacked any dangerous 'owners' living nearby.

The cool engine was further evidence that the vehicle had been unused for God(s) knows how much time.

My mood improved even more as I found the trailer empty and ready to be filled with what I needed to load it with for my little trip to escape Mistral.

Rolling up my sleeves, I went back inside the warehouse and started to push the first crate outside, huffing a little as the workout was something that I wasn't accustomed to.

My new plan was to get the heck away from that place with most of the crates in tow.

It took me around four hours of tiring moving to get every single wooden box inside the cargo, taking a few breaks along the way as my body was not prepared for the little labor it had to go through.

Lazy and introverted, what can I say other than this?

Taking a seat by the driver's seat, I started the vehicle by using the key already plugged in and I was delighted by sound of the engine showing life at the powering up.

A smile finally crept out of my depression-induced scowly mask as the engine didn't fuss too much over the renewed activity.

Actually, it started to purr eagerly at being awakened once more.

It would seem that today was my lucky day!

As I moved out the truck from the small alley beside the warehouse, I steered it towards the main road that led right to the southern entrance of the settlement, ready to properly start my bizarre trip across Mistral and into Vale.

I was seriously hoping that things would continue this smoothly, that I wouldn't find anyone in my path out of the 'danger zone' and right into a proper danger zone, thus instead of keeping silence, I tuned in the radio and was blasted with some… Atlesian dubstep music?!

Still, I was certainly delighted by the lack of unnerving quiet and...

But seriously, how should I have known that I had two intruders aboard at the time!?


This is important as it will underline the tones of this story. While Ozpin is lurking within my mind and I woke up in Mistral...the 'when' is NOT the one everyone thinks it is. Expect some early angst, an incredible show of camping skills and life-long path for a different story.

Still! The bets for who is hiding in the truck are on! Who will make the right guess?

Diary of a Straight Dude is going to be continued but... this story will serve to show something else. The reason that story was created was because of my inner need to explain the crappiness of a story with quick pairings, lacking explanations about their existence.

This one? This is going to be the real deal: crude and pretty!

Lastly, this protagonist is ME! Finally the author is thrown in the fray to deal with the madness of true SI. Reasons behind my attitude will be given along the way and.. I will not answer any question about it. It's already planned to be given in the form of chapter so... meh.

P.S. I admit there is somekind of inspiration from Coeur Al'aran 'Relic of the Future', but I am not copying from it. Quite the opposite if I have to be honest and... next chapter will shed some light around my mysterious tones. (I know, cliffhangers are bad and I hate leaving cliffhangers, but it will be a fun ride!)