Another short guys, sorry. Technically this happens before Marriage with Legacy but I wanted to release the real chapter before the short. Sorry for that. To make up for this, there will be two features. First one is from a very wonderful writer by the name of yoshi3000. Thank you 3000. I enjoyed his oneshots called "The RWBYverse is infinite" and asked for him to give me what he thought could work. This is meant to be a critique of the show because I feel like it was meant for Jaune to honestly be beaten up to a pulp for only falsifying his documents. I feel like there are more characters in anime that don't get punished for what they did. Yoshi and me agree with what happened to the show and what is going to happen and I hope to god they don't fuck the ending like GOT. I hope Yoshi also likes what I added, more of my personal take on the characters in the show.

The second one is from College Fool and his oneshot of "A Talk Worth Having." I truly enjoyed this and found this amusing. I think the ending would have been better with them actually committing the act so that the two can tell Blake that it was a talk worth having. Sort of like a comedic Chekhov's Gun instead of it being a prank bro in the end.

Don't forget to review, favorite, and follow. Need criticisms and suggestions to improve also no one has still suggested for Meet the Parents. Don't blame me if it isn't to your guys liking.

Also Also Also EU EU EU EU! Let's beat NA clean. Fnatic beats G2 and the fanboys are saying that they weren't serious but were trying to win 18-0…. HMMMMMMMM? Y'all salty Fnatic humiliated G2, who cares about the narrative. G2 was serious since Fnatic was the only team in the LEC that truly challenged them. ALSO ALSO ALSO LPL might pull an upset and beat LCK, they're just really scary.

Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY since it is the intellectual property of Rooster Teeth. I also don't own the fanfics that I use for reaction. Check those guys out.

Anyways enjoy!

The Creator remarked. "Goddamned machine not working well with my powers currently. It seems that I have to show you another short."

Emerald and Pyrrha were happy that she didn't have to see her crush get defiled by the one being shown in the preview.

The Creator then stated. "So enjoy this one."

Jaune was currently in the cafeteria waiting in line for the best part of Beacon. It's coffee, the headmaster knew what was up when h made that the number one priority in the academy. Coffee was what made him calm down from everything.

Being the leader of JPNR was no easy task being that Nora would drive any rational person nuts.

Nora whined. "That isn't true. Tell them Renny. I'm a nice girl, right." She grabbed his shoulder as the more stoic best best friend winced under the strength.

Did he risk saying the truth thus forfeiting his life or did he risk saying something that would make his childhood friend happy but extremely hyper… He sometimes hated his life. "Um… of course not. Wouldn't trade it for the world-"

He was cut off from Nora's Bearhug Variant 4 that completely cracked his ribcage making him spit blood from his mouth. "Oooh! I knew you would say that my best best friend!"

Team RWBY had laughed because they were glad they weren't on the receiving end of the Valkyrie's hugs. Pyrrha preened on the two childhood friend's bonding. 'Jaune and I should do something like that.'

Jaune was under a lot of pressure. Glynda was on his case for his losses against Cardin taking pleasure in harshly putting the knight down.

Ozpin looked suspiciously at his friend and partner in helping with Beacon's activities. He noticed her nervous squirming under her cold persona. "I thought you were to examine him. Glynda, he made it through initiation. I think you should apologize to Mr. Arc for not being that professional."

Glynda was about to object but then realized the fiery glares from Team NPR and sighed in defeat. "I will but he still needs to prove he deserves to be in here Ozpin. I will not send a young man to his death."

Ozpin drank from his coffee mug. "Alright. Just don't forget some great hunters are late bloomers especially if their aura becomes awakened."

Jaune had to put up with Cardin bullying him on a daily basis making his life in Beacon a living hell. With Cardin having connections to get away with his bullying, Jaune was in a vicegrip. Didn't help that Ozpin was obviously grooming Pyrrha for something adding to his worry.

Ozpin gulped in fear from the undefeated champion's killing intent. "To be fair, this is a combat school. He could solve his problems with a fight and endure the succeeding detentions."

Glynda had swatted his shoulder with her riding crop. "Even you have harmed Mr. Arc with your incompetence."

With Lie Ren being the quiet supporting one, he would be Jaune's moment of peace before Nora did something chaotic. Lastly, there was Weiss, the girl of his dreams…who spat in his face and despised him. Sadly, he was blinded by pathetic puppy love for her despite their literally having more desirable and attractive options (*cough* Yang, Blake, Nora, Ruby, and plenty of other girls *cough*).

Weiss had groaned in pain. "Seriously even after all that I've done he still likes me."

Ruby stated. "I mean didn't he go out of his way to get Neptune to dance with you and didn't ask anything in return."

Weiss was about to say something but it died since what her partner had just said was true. Pyrrha was still biting her fingernails after hearing her love's choice of romantic interests and her name didn't make the list but Nora's did.

Nora 'eeped' after seeing Pyrrha's intense and fanatical gaze look at her as she shuddered. "Um… I'm sorry?"

All this lead to Jaune being close to snapping, as the students piled in for breakfast at the cafeteria. What could be the catalyst to Jaune's explosion? Weiss? Cardin? Not exactly.

Jaune managed to somehow look rational thanks to having a strong cup of coffee in the morning and dragged himself up to the counter to get some only to find…none left.

"No…no…I can't function without my coffee! Who took the last one?!" Jaune said barely above a whisper. "What am I going to do without my coffee?!"

Ozpin raised his mug, he had found a brother in arms of coffee love. "Someone knows what is important. You see Glynda, I was right about the coffee budget. Seeing this justifies it to go higher." He drank from his mug and ignored his coworker's intense glare but he was used to this sadly.


Jaune screamed in a mixture of fear, anger, and frustration loud enough to get everyone's attention as he tore out the table from the wall with the coffee maker and hurled it. The hot coffee pot smashed right into Weiss's face with the table sailing past Team RWBY's heads. Jaune's eyes had shrank and he had a feral look to him through this unpleasant mental breakdown. The rest of JNPR were all blissfully in their beds unaware of the hell the rest of the students were about to endure.

"WHO TOOK THE LAST OF THE FREAKING COFFEE?!" Jaune screamed in a dark and angry tone. "Well, who was it?!"

Cardin boldly said it was him expecting Jaune to deflate. What he did not expect was Jaune come up to him, grab him by his collar, smashed his face into the wall repeatedly. He then let go and gave an uppercut to the bully's stomach that sent him flying. The manic Jaune had caught his ankle before he impacted the ceiling as he threw him into RWBY's table. Team RWBY had jumped in surprise as a wild Cardin had appeared on their table.

"What in Oum's name did that come from?!" Yang exclaimed in surprise as Jaune had never showcased that amount of strength. Usually he was pretty meek with a backbone when dealing with the bully.

Blake murmured. "I think he became broken."

Cardin was covered in so much food, it looked like he took a one versus many food fight. He staggered to get back up but Jaune stomped on his chest and drove him to the ground. Jaune was hyperventilating and then started to place his hands on the bully's neck.

"Listen you one-dimensional douchebag! Do you know what it's like to put up with Nora every day?! Huh?!" Jaune shouted strangling Cardin. He then stomped on his groin that caused everyone to shudder in fear after hearing Winchester's screams of anguish. "You have to put up with their one-note stereotypes! I have poorly developed people passing off as fully developed characters. I can't even get a feel for my own character. It's like I'm someone's onahole to shove ideas in! The writers set me up with an actual relationship but the moment I get the chance, she dies in a stupid way that could have been avoided. The other one decided to go gay for her partner because audiences love yuri too much! The goddamn show hates me just look at my voice actor! Do you think I actually enjoy that?! I'm supposed to be a character that was meant to actually progress not regress into an edge lord. I already have one his name rhymes with ZEN! The plot holes of my capabilities are so big, the Last Jedi can't touch me!"

"Ouch." Ren commented while Nora shyly tried to hide herself while using said person as a shield. She was murmuring not my fearless leader over and over again.

The two ignored Pyrrha's response which was licking her lips in sadistic joy. 'I also love this version of Jaune.'

Ozpin looked at Glynda. "We might need to have that student councilor look at Mr. Arc as well."

"Jaune, are you all right?" Ruby meekly asked.

"Obviously, something's wrong! Here's a better question! Shouldn't you be asking Ozpin what's so damn special about your silver eyes? Or your mother? It's so obvious they have godlike power and you're doing nothing about it and that your mother is important yet we never bring her up. Not to mention your ridiculous plot armor, seriously one beam and someone who's been training all her life with arguably one of the strongest in this world loses easily. And you say you're having a hard life. Get with it, cupcake. You're a protagonist with anime parents. You ain't special." Jaune said with a bit of twisted laugh.

Ruby also in the audience started to cry from the hurtful words of the blonde knight. In response her elder sister comforted her with a motherly hug while her dad had shouted death threats. If Zwei were here, he would have tried to kill Jaune for saying all of that.

Yang growled and nearly turned SSY (Super Saiyan Yang) but stopped when the Creator appeared and shook his head. "Remember it's in another reality."

He then looked at Blake after Ruby's crying had gave him utter ecstasy. "The writers clearly suck at their jobs. Can't even show faunus discrimination right?"

"What are you rambling on about? Faunus are being treated poorly." Blake touted.

Blake snarled at the lies being spouted. She stood up and yelled out. "I don't like this Jaune. Faunus are being oppressed!"

Weiss groaned as she tried to put the black cat down. "Ok, ok, you made your point Blake. Calm down with your activism."

"Says the island princess. For fuck's sake, Velvet has more reason to complain then miss spoiled princess. You literally could be sipping drinks off the beaches of Menagerie which is lovely this time of year. The only reason you left because you let the White Fang stroked your damn ego and your fucking daddy issues. We don't even know if even you murdered anyone in your White Fang!" Jaune said crazily. "Or were you fucking Adam while he slaughtered? I can't even take you seriously, because you always run away. I would like to say more but little kitty cat might scurry away again from real life, you spoiled brat!"

Blake wanted to deny what Jaune said but then became depressed as soon as she thought about it. 'Did I leave mom and dad for that? I'm so sorry daddy!' Her ears had dropped down as tears also fell from her eyes.

He air humped when Blake started to also tear up and then looked at Weiss. "Oh look the Oumdamn hypocrite!"

Weiss chimed in. "Your mad words will not even affect me in the slightest."

Winter smirked. "There is nothing this Jaune fellow can criticize about my amazing younger sister."

Qrow chuckled. "You sure about that Ice Queen. I can tell from afar that Ice Queen Junior has some problems."

Jaune continued as he started chuckling uncontrollably. "Ha! What a farce? You and I are the same ran away from our parents because they didn't want what we liked. I wanted to be someone you could talk to. You were just so hurt like a sad snow angel but nooooOO! You decided to let out your frustrations on me. Did hurting me make you feel better? Did it get back the love your parents won't give you? Would you like me to be your carpet so you can step on me just like your parents abandoned and abused you?! Should I do that now?!"

Weiss started to also cry while Yang who had reached Super Saiyan Yang One, fists shaking with fury towards the intended target who was jumping up and down while celebrating like a a madman.

Weiss in the audience had her head down as Winter hurried to her side and comforted her. The words that version of Jaune had struck her down oh so hard to the pavement that it was hard for her to react.

Yang growled. "What's hot air going to say about me?!"

Jaune gave a frenzied smile to Yang. "Oh yeah I forgot about you, fan service. Your tits are always in the front frame that it distracts people from you being an actual character. What you're gonna beat me up? I bet you'll feel all good inside. Since you can't even handle your own problems, mommy ran away and daddy decided to stay away. Can't beat them up so decided to be fucking mother of the year and a brute who likes to wreck everything. Raven was right to run away if this was the result."

Yang didn't want to show her tears to Ruby and her father however Raven noticed and smirked. "At least someone understands. This is definitely the best version of the kid."

Cardin was scared at the raving madman and Ozpin walked into the cafeteria with his fresh cup of his special coffee. Poor Ozpin didn't the freight train that ran him over and stole his coffee.

"Sweet coffee at last!" Jaune said drinking the entire glass down.

And just like that, Jaune was his nice self once again as the rest of team JNPR waltzed in.

"What the hell happened here?" Ren asked seeing the mess all over the cafeteria.

Jaune shrugged as Ozpin got up asking what hit him. That day, everyone would learn a simple lesson. Jaune NEEDS his coffee to stay sane. They made sure to get him a cup every morning, and Jaune found himself much better for it.

"Well that was… something." Pyrrha commented while Team RWBY were much traumatized from his comments all the while Cinder sadistically moaned. 'I like this version better than most versions. Maybe if I can get him into a breaking point, he'll be the perfect source of the grimm invasion.'

The Creator coughed loudly to get everyone's attention. "Well besides that very traumatizing moment. I'd like to show you the next one."

Blake learned the hard way, there is a limit to innocence and naivety for people.

"Blake? Can you help me with something?" It was a sunny day, the perfect sort of reading outside in the shade of Beacon, but Blake looked up from her book none the less. Before her was a familiar team leader- two, actually, as Jaune Arc of the blonde hair stood gave a small wave from behind the more familiar face of Ruby Rose. Ruby's silver eyes were wide, a slightly nervous smile on her face, as an earnest look of apologetic need dominated.

Weiss shivered in her seat. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Pyrrha chuckled. "What can honestly go wrong? I mean it's Jaune and Ruby." She chuckled again but this time her tendencies were starting to surface. 'She could never be competition. Also Jaune views her like a little sister. Whatever is going to happen in that next scenario is probably just him and Yang.'

Even though she'd been enjoying her story, Blake didn't mind. Once she might have- preferring the company of books to that of her team- but they weren't just her team. They were friends, and ever since the incident with the docks she had resolved to try and be a better one in turn. To be as honest with them as they were her.

Blake put down the book, taking care to hide the title and nature of her literature from those earnest, innocent silver eyes, and gave Ruby a smile. Honesty was the best policy, after all.

"Certainly, Ruby" Blake agreed, willing to do her part. "What's wrong?" She wasn't particularly worried- Jaune was there, and if it were serious he'd probably look more concerned than blissfully ignorant and unassuming.

Ruby fidgeted, looking down and gripping her skirt in her hands. "Well, um, I've kind of got this question, and Jaune didn't know either, and we thought… well, you seem to know about a lot of stuff, Blake!" she said, looking up with hope and naked admiration.

Blake looked at Ruby. "Do you really think I know a lot of… stuff, Ruby?"

Ruby nodded. "Of course, I mean you have higher grades than me so you definitely know more than me." Blake smiled as her ego went up from that childish answer.

Blake felt something stir, a rare burst of pride that Ruby would seek her out rather than Yang or even Weiss. "Well, I wouldn't go that far," Blake demurred modestly.

"But it's true!" Ruby insisted, leaning forward earnestly. "You're really smart and clever, Blake!" she praised.

If Blake's ego were its own cat-faunus, it'd be purring. "And you're always reading those books of yours," Jaune added helpfully, ignorantly indicating the book beside her.

Yang chuckled. "Knew that you were reading porn."

Blake growled at her partner. "It's not porn! It is adult literature with engaging characters and amazing storylines."

Nora said aloud. "Isn't that the one where the guy is tied up to the wall while the girl-"

Her mouth was clamped by Ren who simply sighed. "Remember something called our inside voice, Nora. Also yes… I regret reading it to you back then."

She was hoping that they didn't notice or ask what 'Ninjas of Love' was. It would destroy their perspectives on life. "We thought you'd be purrfect for this."

Blake gave him a short stare, unsure if he'd made a pun or not, and certain he wouldn't think the same if he knew the book she'd been reading. But Jaune was as stupid as he was harmless, and Ruby was waiting with baited breath, and so Blake shook herself to her senses.

"Uh, right," she said, getting back on track. "So what was your question, Ruby?" she asked.

Ruby looked delighted, clapping her hands together in excitement. "Well, it's just-" she began, a bit too loud and grabbing local attention until a hand fell on her shoulder.

"Shh, not so loud Ruby," Jaune said, looking around at the people who'd noticed. "Maybe we should go somewhere less… open?" he suggested as people turned back to minding their own business.

Weiss decided to point out again her suspicions. "Why does he need two girls in a secret location? Why isn't anyone thinking this is a bad idea?"

Ozpin drank from his coffee again. "Ms. Schnee I think we would see such lascivious acts and act on it."

Qrow laughed while his boss glared. "So how come Mr. Sexual Chocolate over there-" He pointed at Tai. "Could do it even in the library?!"

His daughters were horrified from learning from their uncle about their dad's exploits. They looked at Tai but he simply smiled. "It was good times." They wanted to hide away while Raven simply scoffed.

Blake wasn't inclined to move. It was a beautiful day, the shad under the tree was nice, and the sooner she helped answer Ruby's question the sooner she could go back to her book. Ruby didn't have a malevolent bone in her body, and the worse that could happen would be that she'd embarrass herself. Even if Jaune might have his ignorance exposed, the worst Blake stood to suffer was embarrassment by proximity.

It might be good for a laugh afterwards, at any rate. "No, it's fine," Blake said, dismissing Jaune easily, as most people were inclined to do. "What's your question, Ruby?" she asked instead, wondering what it could be.

Ruby looked relieved and leaned forward, speaking a good deal softer but no less sincerely than she had before. "Blake, how are babies made?"

Ruby asked. "Yeah how are they made? Every time I ask the usual answer is I have to wait until I'm thirty five!"

The Creator laughed. "I'm afraid this scenario will show you how babies are made. Ms. Belladonna will be a great teacher for the 'The Talk.' If anyone tries to tell her then you will experience tremendous pain."

Roman scoffed. "Yeah, like I'd believe that. Hey Red it happens when- AAAAGGHHHAAAA!" He started holding his crotch and yelled out in pain. "Wah- What is going on?!"

The Creator chuckled. "It will happen to the girls in a very sensitive place, so I expect just normal reactions." Everyone immediately nodded towards his display of power.

A few minutes later, a decidedly uncomfortable Blake had decided to take up Jaune's suggestion and relocated elsewhere. They were in a music room- a decidedly under-utilized activity in a combat school- where they could have some semblance of privacy. It also had noise protection, built-in for those students with sound-based semblances.

The two team leaders sat across from Blake, innocent faces uncomprehending the reason for her reaction. Jaune sat there like a dumb blond, a guileless smile on his face as he watched her pace. Ruby sat there, equally cheerful, though she was fidgeting a bit more considering how she'd asked the question in the first place.

Weiss was still suspicious. "These idiots can't be this innocent."

Ruby responded. "Hey! I drink milk! I'm a grown up!"

The others sighed at that answer since Ruby did not clearly understand what her partner said. Pyrrha meanwhile was in deep thought. 'Is that why he does not respond to my advances… maybe I should teach him instead. After that he won't even look at others, he'll only look at me.'

Blake finished pacing, working out her nerves, as she turned towards the two. They stared back, politely attentive, waiting for her to speak. "How," She finally managed, "did this all start?"

"Well, in the beginning there was nothing," Jaune said. "Then Oum conceived an idea, and said 'let's have some kickass fights,' and Remnant was written..." he began, bastardizing the Book of Oum.

"Not that far back," Blake glowered. "This issue specifically."

"Well, it was for that paper on Grimm anatomy class," Ruby explained without a hint of shame or embarrassment. "Remember the one about the mysteries of Grimm?" she asked.

Blake did. There was many things not known about the Grimm, and even if the teachers couldn't answer the questions they could help the students know what they didn't know. The paper had been simple- take any of the many unknowns about Grimm, do some research, identify the theories, and so on. Basic writing, really. Blake had done her paper on the mystery of Grimm sustenance. If they didn't live off of people, they had to survive off of something…

"Well, Jaune and I both ended up taking the topic of 'where do Grimm come from.' I thought it'd be easy."

Blake vaguely remembered that topic, and could almost see where this was going. The paper had really intended to be about the origin of Grimm, like where they came from originally, but if this was about the subject of –shudder- Grimm breeding…

"I thought it was eggs at first, and so did Jaune- you know, Nevermore beings birds and nest and everything- but then Jaune thought the same applied to all the other Grimm. And I'm like, who's ever heard of an ursa egg? But then he's like, well who's heard of Grimm getting married?"

… Was the general response of the more non-innocent people in the audience. Roman who had been able to recover from his punishment drawled out. "You've got to be kidding me! This can't be true at all!"

Yang groaned since she knew she should have given her Sister 'The Talk' but she couldn't find

any time to do so. Tai simply sighed in relief since the talk meant that Ruby would grow up and

he didn't want that.

And now she was lost. "Marriage…?" Blake echoed.

"I know, stupid, right?" Ruby said, nodding to herself as she ignored the look of shock on the dumb blonde's face.

"Hey, it was a reasonable point!" Jaune protested, looking at Ruby. "And like your idea is any better!"

"Hey!" Ruby protested hotly, though not with true anger. "Just because people come from eggs doesn't mean all Grimm do!"

"Eggs?" Blake repeated, even more lost.

"Yeah!" Ruby said. "I heard it in class once. I think. I might have been dozing, but it fits! Everyone knows that babies come from the stork!"

"Aw, that's adorable." Weiss commented since she was very prone to anything perceived as cute namely some actions of her partner. "Who told you that?"

Ruby puffed her chest and proudly said. "It was from my cool Uncle Qrow. He said that mom and dad got me from a stork. That's why I've been trying to find one!"

Everyone looked at Qrow as he chuckled sarcastically. "Hey, was the only thing that popped in my mind."

"That's-" Blake began as she started, sensing a half-truth in there, but choked. "The stork? Really, Ruby?" she asked, incredulous.

"The stork is a bird, birds lay eggs. I is smart," Ruby declared proudly, nodding to herself confidently.

Blake didn't bother to correct her grammar. Instead she turned her head towards Jaune. "And where-," she began slowly, dreading the answer, "Do you think babies come from?"

"From parents," Jaune said blithely. Blake stared, and Jaune continued. "When a man and a woman fall in love, they get together."

Pyrrha cooed. "Don't worry Jaune, when we get together, we'll make many of them!"

The others decided to scoot away from the fantasies of the redhead while Raven sneered. "Doesn't always happen like that."

Blake stared more, willing him to go on. Please, please… "And then?" she prompted.

"Then they date for a while, to make sure their love is pure and true," Jaune said.

That's how it was supposed to work. For people and faunus, at least… most of the time. "And then?" Blake prompted again, hoping to lead him to the right answer.

"And then they get married." Blake said nothing, and Ruby squirmed, and Jaune felt compelled to add, "And sometimes they hold hands. The kids just kind of pop out of the garden after that."

"This is too funny!" Mercury and Emerald along with Neo were on the floor laughing and crying their eyes out while Nora was doing the same but she was hitting the floor with fervor.

Weiss had face palmed again with her right hand. "This is too idiotic to even comment on. No wonder his parents advice is shoddy at best."

Blake still said nothing, looking at him with utter incredulousness, and the squirming Ruby exploded. "That's not right!" Ruby rejected vehemently. "You don't need to be married! My Mom wasn't married!"

"Oh yeah? And what's your answer, then?" Jaune challenged hotly.

"It's the stork, doofus!" Ruby repeated. "Uncle Qrow told me! A man and a woman spend all night writing letters to the stork, asking for him to bring them a baby. Except it's really tough, and sometimes they scream about what they should write or how they should go faster. And they have to write it on special thick paper, cause sometimes at inns you can hear them shouting about doing it harder. Like, they have to use a really big pen and press down on the paper as hard as they can, but you'll hear a lot of shouting if there's a tear. And sometimes even after a really good night of letter writing, the stork is so lazy or greedy that after a few months a woman has to cook break in an oven and hide more and more of it under her shirt until they can get the storks flying overhead to notice and trade the bun for a baby."

Winter had the urge to smack Qrow on the face. "So you went with that and made such a crappy exposition that only the most innocent can believe."

Ruby complained. "Hey meaner older Weiss, don't talk like that to Uncle Qrow!"

Qrow wanted to cry at that moment, one of his nieces was defending him. "Aw you're the best Ruby!" She gave him a warm smile that vaguely reminded him of Summer when she was happy with him.

"That makes no sense!" Jaune protested in turn. "Storks are nowhere near that common! And what about places where storks don't even live? How would they move babies there?"

"They could mail them back after they receive the letter." Ruby reasoned, "Or wear cold weather clothes when flying."

"That's daft," Jaune began. "And if they had to fly for every Grimm cub, they'd-"

"STOP!" The two bickering friends paused and turned towards Blake, who was looking at them with a mix of shame and horror. "Just… stop!" Blake begged, trying to regain control of the situation. "That's not how it works."

Yang snickered. "Looks like you're at your tail's end." Blake growled at the horrible pun but couldn't say anything in response.

"Ha! See?" Jaune crowed. "I told you were wrong!" he said at Ruby.

"I can't be wrong! Uncle Qrow said so! He's the coolest, bestest uncle! He'd never lie to me." Ruby returned, desperate.

Qrow wanted to cry, this was the most he ever heard from a niece about how amazing he was. Winter scoffed. "Desperate for compliments much."

Qrow smirked and remarked. "Says daddy and mommy issues here." She was about to grab her rapier but Ironwood stopped her by giving her a stern glare which meant for her to stand down.

"You're both wrong!" Blake ruled, trying to shout them down. "Both of you!"

That startled them into submission- until a sniffle broke the silence, and worse, tears started to gather in Ruby's wide silver eyes. "But- but- but that means," Ruby began, crystal tears gathering in her eyes. "That'd mean Uncle Qrow lied to me!" she bawled.

The over protective family of one Ruby Rose silently and in unison glared at the black cat faunus who returned one back. 'What?! This is my fault!'

Cinder sighed in frustration. "This is such a farce."

Despite the hot words, Jaune was at her side, giving her a comforting hug and shooting a nasty glare at Blake. Or as nasty as he could, anyway- a veritable 'even if she was wrong, how could you be so mean about it?'

Blake hadn't meant to be mean, but Ruby's tears told otherwise, and a great burden of guilt fell on her. Forget lying about the White Fang- if Yang stumbled about this she might deck Blake for making her baby sister cry.

"Damn right!" Yang yelled out.

"Ruby," Blake began, reaching out, "Your Uncle didn't lie. He just… didn't tell you the truth." Jaune, stupid as he was honest, opened his mouth to point out the obvious, and Blake shut him with a quick glare and quicker words. "Or at least not all of it."

Ruby quieted, and sniffled, and looked up at Blake with reddened eyes after wiping her face with a sleeve. "You mean there is a stork?" she asked hopefully.

Blake felt a pang of conscience. She wanted to give a comforting lie… but Ruby deserved, needed, the truth. Honesty and the best policy and all that. "No storks," Blake admitted, actually feeling sorry for a moment even if selective honesty was the best policy, "But there are eggs."

Jaune looked at her in horror, and Ruby looked mystified, and Blake sighed to herself as she tried to remember biology lessons of a different sort.

"And that part of a woman is called the ovary," Blake finished a few uncomfortable minutes later. "Girls can have over a million eggs in them when they're young."

Ruby looked down at her stomach, transfixed, fingers brushing softly. "That's a lot of omelets," Ruby whispered, amazed.

Real Ruby also looked at her stomach. "Does that mean I can't place any hot stuff on my stomach because it will cook the eggs?"

Yang wanted to 'aww' but time for her mama/elder sister mode to power on. "Nah, Rubes. That isn't going to happen unless you get hit with-"

She was interrupted with a smack to the back of her head, she glared since she realized it was from Tai who only frowned at her. "No."

Blake pretended she didn't hear that. "And any one of them could become a baby," she concluded.

Jaune was less mystified, and looked at both girls with horror. "Are you sure you're not part bird?" he asked. "How do they even fit in there? Or keep from falling out?"

Weiss screamed. "Pyrrha, teach your partner basic biology or I will shove Myrteneister up his-"

The Creator silenced her. "Sorry Ms. Schnee however I'd like to still remain on this site."

Blake tried to fight a flush, uncomfortable enough at the topic without being reminded of Jaune's presence. Oum, why had he had to be homeschooled out in the sticks…? "Being a faunus has nothing to do with it, they're very small, and they don't. Kind of…"

"Kind of?" Ruby asked, tears dry and cocking her head curiously.

Blake squirmed. "Girls start will all their eggs, but we lose them over time as we grow older."

"Girls lay eggs?" Jaune asked, blinking dumbly. "I've seen hens do that before. That must hurt. Is that why you get cranky so often?"

Pyrrha cooed again. "Oh that's so silly Jaune, if you want I can lay your egg."

Nora whispered to Ren. "I think we need better strategies after this. It looks like Pyrrha is gonna go cuckoo."

Ren smiled. "It's ok Nora, she can be all obsessive here but with Jaune she returns to normal."

"No! And they aren't bird eggs!" Blake shot back, bristling, before pausing. "But, actually… yes," she conceded, going with the simplest answer she could. Of course it wouldn't end sooner rather than later, though.

"I don't understand," Ruby asked, cocking her head in the other direction. "When does this happen?"

"Well, you know…" Blake hedged. Every woman did.

"But I don't!" Ruby denied, puffing her cheeks out in frustration. "If there's something big girls get to do, I want to do it too! I'm not a child anymore! I drink milk!" she petulantly protested.

"You go other me!" Ruby encouraged her other version to get to the truth. She was really excited.

Even if her education was lacking, surely her biology wasn't. "I'm pretty sure you do," Blake disagreed. "Just think. It happens monthly…?" she trailed off, prompting.

Ruby considered, thinking hard, before an answer occurred to her. "Ooh! Does it have something to do with the mail?" she asked. "Letters from Patch takes about a month, so-"

"There is no stork, Ruby!" Blake cut her off once again.

"How about X-Ray and Vav?" Jaune suggested. "I hear a lot of girls groaning whenever a new issue comes out."

"That bad, huh?" Ruby asked, having never read it.

"Or that good," Jaune returned. "A lot of fangirls like to draw-"

"No! Stop!" Blake demanded, cutting off the tangent. "It has nothing to do with the mail or magazines!"

"Then what does it?" Jaune returned, almost placid in his reasonableness.

"It-" Blake began, but damn if this wasn't awkward. "Ruby, have you ever… bled?" Blake said, more direct than she was comfortable being.

Blake stared long and hard at Yang who was wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at her. "Cat got your tongue."

The black cat was about to respond but Yang got ahead of her. "You have to cat to be kitten me right now. That I shouldn't be catting around."

Yang was about to go for a triple pun but was stopped by a rogue canister that hit her in the head. The savior was Qrow who sighed. "This is why we never watch comedy movies."

Ruby perked up, catching on. "Oh, all the time!" she said. "Right after going to Signal!" she said, thinking back fondly.

Blake nodded, relieved. Even if Ruby didn't know the facts of life, the pieces were all there. "Right, you see, that-"

"Or I used to until I started making my babies and it stopped," Ruby continued, not noticing.

Blake froze. "Uh-" she began, tensing around buried landmines she had never suspected.

Yang paled and looked at Ruby who responded. "I mean yeah all the time but-"

But Ruby blathered on still, and whipped out Crescent Rose, cradling and cooing it. "Isn't that right, baby?" she cooed, stroking it fondly as the lower end was held between her legs. "You were last but not least. You never cut me like those bad boys did, no you didn't!"

Tai and Qrow and Yang sighed in relief. 'This is removing years of my lifespan.' Is what they were actually thinking in unison.

Blake breathed a sigh of relief. "You were talking about training accidents?" she said, somewhere between a hope and a question. She hoped the question wouldn't have a wrong answer.

Ruby looked up from her scythe and blinked innocently. "What else would I be talking about?" she asked. "Grimm almost never hit me, not enough to make me bleed."

Blake sighed again. "Ruby, just- just how old are you?" Blake asked directly.

Ruby's silver eyes blinked. "Just over fifteen. Why?"

Blake did the mental math, and scratched the limits of her memory. Usually it happened earlier, but she had heard of some cases- especially young women who might over-exercise… "Ruby, have you had your first period?" Blake asked directly.

Ruby looked confused. "Uh, yeah?" She asked, as if it were a dumb question. "Haven't we all?"

"Yeah, me too!" Jaune added, reminding Blake of his presence. "We all share the same morning classes. Don't you remember, Blake?" He asked, and Ruby nodded.

Others were snickering while Ruby was still confused. 'Isn't that normal?'

Tai rubbed her back. "Its ok honey, maybe you'll understand one day."

"That's not- that's not what I meant," Blake said. "Ruby. Have you ever woken up and found your sheets… bloody?" she asked.

Ruby cocked her head once again. "Nope," she chirped. "Not unless I was hurt. Why?"

Blake swallowed. A late bloomer- really? This late? And she was bigger than Weiss- though then again, the bra could be padded, and Weiss definitely was old enough… "Then have you ever noticed Yang waking up to change her sheets?" she asked.

"Yup!" Ruby chirped, though a wicked grin crossed her faith before she leaned in. "Don't tell her I told you this, but I did catch her cleaning her sheets after having a wet dream one night," whispered conspiratorially.

Yang growled and looked at Ruby who used her partner as a shield while her uncle Qrow decided to chime in. "Not that surprising from the girl who didn't stop until she was ten years old."

The Creator stepped in and stopped an infuriated Yang from trying to strangle her not so cool uncle while Blake snickered. 'I'm definitely using this as blackmail.'

"Really?" Jaune marveled, interested despite the blush. "Isn't she a bit old for that?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," Ruby said with innocent frankness. "And not just her. I caught Weiss changing her sheets one time when she thought no one else was up. She was really crabby that morning, let me tell you, and I didn't even pull the hand-in-water trick. And then there was the night that Blake was moaning Sun's name and-"

Team WBY blushed as others in the audience started laughing as they looked at their unsuspecting leader who was still confused. Weiss gnashed her teeth in frustration. "I'm killing her. I'm definitely killing her."

Blake flushed. What she had with Sun was nothing- nothing beyond his dreams, anyways- but that didn't mean she couldn't… appreciate his form in her own. But that was neither here, and hopefully never with Ruby.

"Never mind that," she hurridly interrupted. "My point is- Weiss wasn't just crabbier than normal. She was going through her period. She was changing her sheets because there was blood on them."

That got attention. "Blood?" Ruby repeated, horrified.

"Was she hurt? Was something wrong?" Jaune asked, concerned beyond his simple little crush.

"Nothing was wrong," Blake said, trying to reassure them. "Her body couldn't stop the bleeding on its own, and so-"

"Couldn't stop bleeding on its own?" Jaune repeated, horrified. "That's unnatural!"

"That's not good!" Ruby cried, beginning to panic. "Healthy people don't bleed for no good reason!"

"I don't envy your position kit kat." Yang muttered as the innocence was all too real. "Is Lover Boy really like that P-Money."

Pyrrha shrugged her shoulders. "I never asked."

Blake tried to be the voice of reason. "There is no good reason," she admitted, because honestly, fuck that time of month, "But-"

She barely got to the 'but' before Ruby reached out and began to shake Blake with fear in her eyes.

"Blake! Is that going to happen to me?" Her team leader demanded. "Am I going to die?"

"Can Ruby avoid it?" Jaune asked, equally concerned for his friend.

Blake was being overwhelmed by the shaking, but managed to shake her head. "SHE CAN'T!" she managed through the shakes, before stabilizing her own head and remembering her resolve. Honesty is the best policy. "It's going to happen. It's a part of life and growing up." Blake said with sympathy.

Ruby dropped her arms, sinking into herself. "No…" the little red reaper whispered, looking at her own body with fear. "… I don't want to die!"

Ruby looked at her stomach and paled. "Am I gonna die?"

Tai rubbed her head. "Nah, you're not gonna die… actually I haven't heard of other girls dying of that. But don't worry honey. You're just gonna be really emotional when it happens."

"Blake!" Jaune insisted, getting a bit too close to her personal space, but Blake could forgive him this one time. "How do we stop it? How do we stop the bleeding?"

"You can't," Blake said, as solemnly as if passing a death sentence. "You can only endure." As all women through history had.

Ruby looked up, afraid. "Does it ever stop?"

Blake shook her head. "Not until you are much, much older,"

"Older than Ms. Goodwitch?" Ruby asked.

Blake affirmed. "I don't know, probably older than that."

"That's practically ancient!" Jaune protested, loud enough that Blake was glad for the music room's sound-proofing.

Glynda had nearly snapped her riding crop which made everyone back away from the irate witch. "I think I will have words with Mr. Arc and a woman's age."

Ozpin chuckled. "My point exactly. You can't handle your personal affairs with the students professionally especially when it compromises you."

His co-worker's response was to use her semblance to fling his coffee mug to his face. The result was Ozpin screaming in pain as the hot drink of the gods had burned one of its followers. Glynda smirked. "This will do for now."

"I don't think I could take bleeding uncontrollably every month until I was as old as her," Ruby mourned.

Despite the air, Blake snorted internally. Even if it wasn't controlled, per see, it was hardly that bad. But still, it wouldn't do to make light of Ruby's fear now. Honesty was still the right policy, right?

"Isn't there anything we could do to stop this cycle… period… thing?" Jaune pleaded.

"I don't think you could. Not unless…" Blake began, but trailed off as she realized how unreasonable it was. Ruby and Jaune, of course, didn't, and hope lit in their eyes.

"There is something?" Ruby dared hope. "What, like some special flower in a cave somewhere? I'll get it!"

"Is it hard? To get to?" Jaune asked. "If I need to go in and pluck it, I will. I'll mount any peaks, comb through every valley, or plumb any cavern for Ruby, no matter how slick the crevice! To find the magical flower even if it is guarded by a snake. I promise as an Arc." He vowed, earning a grateful look from his friend.

"I knew I found the best first friend in Beacon!" Ruby cheered but also blushed that he would go to such lengths for her.

Nora also cheered. "That's why he's the fearless leader."

His ardor caused a slight blush to light on Blake's cheeks. "It's, er, not difficult, but it could involve you-" She began, before cutting herself off.

"Blake?" Ruby prompted. "What could Jaune do for me? I want to know."

"No, don't tell me." Weiss looked horrified which caused Ruby to shiver.

She looked at her sister. "What is it?" But her sister was also pale and didn't even looked at her.

Blake flushed more. "It's not what he could do for you as much as to you," she rambled, wishing she could take back what she said and just hide behind her book. "It's just…" Seeing two expectant faces, she bit the bullet.

"You wouldn't have your period if you were pregnant," Blake said. Both Ruby and Jaune looked at her, not saying a word, forcing Blake to go on. "I mean, technically you could try to be pregnant all the time to avoid your period, but that'd not…" Blake trailed off, laughing nervously.

"I'd have to be a mom… I don't mind if it's Jaune." The horrified faces of some members of the audience said it all. Tai had just fainted along with Qrow. Another thud to the floor indicated the undefeated champion along with Weiss.

Yang muttered out. "But… but… but-"

Ruby smiled at her. "I said I don't mind. Besides Jaune is a really good househusband and potential father. Why wouldn't I agree?"

"Why not?" Ruby asked, cocking her head. "Sounds like a great idea to me." Blake froze as Ruby continued. "Kids are cute! I love kids! Mom wanted to have kids!" Ruby added.

Blake froze more, and could only watch in horror as things snowballed. "Yeah," Jaune agreed, as if coming to a realization. "You've got, like, a million baby eggs in there, right?" he asked, gesturing in the vague direction of Ruby's ovaries. "Even if it takes nine months each, that's still, like, a bajillion babies you could have. One-point-three babies per year. So by the time you were done with Beacon…"

"I've got three more years after this one, so…" She began counting on her fingers. "Four kids by graduation?" She guestimated, ignoring that she very likely wouldn't be able to graduate Beacon under this novel health-care plan.

"I should take note of that health plan. Maybe it would work." Ruby murmured.

Blake on hearing this objected immediately. "You'd have to quit school to take care of the baby along with Jaune. You'd be denying his dream."

Ruby's mood plummeted. "… I don't want to do that."

"Sounds about right. Unless you had twins," Jaune agreed.

"True, true," Ruby considered. "But I can't do it on my own. And Blake said an egg needed to be fertilized by sperm from a guy."

"I can help," Jaune said, as easily as if offering a ride. "I don't know what 'sperm' is, but you can help yourself to any I have." He offered.

"Thanks, Jaune," Ruby said with a grateful smile. "I wi-"

"Wait wait wait! No!" Blake intervened, snapping out of her horrified trance. Forget a punch for making Ruby cry- Yang would kill her if this talk ended up with Ruby pregnant. "You can't do that!"

Yang sighed in relief. "Thank god my partner is there. Lover Boy is just too dangerous for the unsuspecting."

"I-" Jaune began.

"No! Shut it, you!" Blake pre-empted, pointing an accusing finger. "Don't you touch her! Don't you dare do it, Jaune!"

"Huh?" Jaune began, "but-"

"And don't let her touch you either!" Blake hissed, before turning towards Ruby to shake the girl as her leader had so recently shaken her. "Ruby, you can't do this! I won't allow it!"


"No! It's not worth it!" Blake shook the little girl. "It sucks, but you aren't going to die!"

"But Blake-"

"No! It's not worthy dying over! It's not worth me dying over!" Blake snapped. "You cannot get pregnant, Ruby! You cannot have sex to get pregnant, and especially not with Jaune!"

"Yeah tell them Blake! Jaune-Jaune can't be a parent yet! It has to be with Pyrrha." Nora yelled out which caused Ren to want to hide from everyone.

Jaune tried to calm her down. "Hey now-"

"Shut it! And you- say it!" Blake's expression had become more manic than usual. She was at her breaking point with all of this 'talk.'

Ruby wanted to interject. "But you-"

"Not you- Ruby! Say it!"

"It-" Ruby attempted.

"Say it!" Blake demanded, shaking the little girl, until stronger arms pulled her off of her team leader. Ruby was left with little spirals in her eyes as Blake's focus returned to her. Jaune's grip was firm, but strong, and while Blake could have attacked him to escape she chose to wait and let Ruby recover her wits. To see if she'd learned her lessons. Ruby stabilized, and quickly held up her hands in peace.

"Blake, I won't." She placated the faunus girl. "I know I can't have sex with Jaune just to get pregnant."

This woke up Pyrrha who danced for joy while said subject of the scenario felt a bit disappointed but couldn't really explain why.

Blake relaxed, of course she couldn't- Ruby had a dream, of being a Huntress, rather than just in a kitchen somewhere with countless rug rats. Blake felt a bit of shame at how wound up she had become, and how she'd taken it out on the little girl before her. The little girl looking at her with those wide, innocent silver eyes that brimmed with honesty and integrity.

"After all," Ruby admitted, looking at Blake softly and perhaps a bit sadly.

"We don't know how," Jaune said, standing behind Ruby and putting a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

Something broke, and Blake didn't realize she had collapsed until she realized she was nearly at ground level. Jaune's arms behind her were stabilizing her, holding her up as much as against him, while Ruby kneeled down in front of her. Blake had a strange sense of vertigo, and Ruby's mouth moved with words that Blake didn't want to hear. "I'm sorry? Say that again?" Blake asked.

"… This can't be for real. This has to be a joke." Roman commented with many agreeing.

Ironwood commented his opinion. "It is impossible for one to not know about sex. Even parents give the 'Talk'."

"I asked if you could teach us how to have sex," Ruby repeated, perfectly frank and honest. "Since we don't know how."

Blake flushed, and snapped. "How?!" she managed between the blushing and whine she wanted to let out. "I just explained- how could you not know?!"

"Uh, actually, you didn't explain that part," Jaune pointed out, far too calm. "You just talked about ovaries and periods."

"But- but- ovaries! Sperm! Together!" Blake tried to make out, too discombobulated for coherent sentences. She settled for making a circle with thumb and finger in one hand, pointing a finger on the other, and putting finger through circle repeatedly for emphasis. She kept on doing it while Ruby and Jaune watched cluelessly, trying to make sense of it. Ruby turned to Jaune.

"What's with that finger going in?" Raven was about to give an answer to Summer's daughter's question but Yang stopped her with a growl.

Raven was about to counter but the Creator appeared. "All in due time."

"I guess you really do need to put a ring on it? I mean Blake is putting a circle thingy in her finger." Ruby hazarded a guess. Jaune just shrugged.

Blake whined again, but there was no escaping this. No more than she could escape the blush dominating her cheeks. Choking on the words, Blake struggled to speak. "Ruby," she choked out, "When a guy and girl are… together… when they are really close the guy gives a girl sperm for her ovaries, and…" She trailed off, far past uncomfortable and hoping this would be explanation enough for the both of them.

The tilt of Ruby's head suggested it wasn't. "How close?" the painfully naïve girl asked.

"Very," Blake answered. "Touching," she managed to elaborate.

Blake sighed as Ruby also asked the same question. "Please Ruby, for all of Oum's name. Don't ask me that."

Ruby's head tilted the other way. "How do they avoid the cootie catcher, then?"

At this point, Blake shouldn't be surprised. "Cootie catcher?" she asked.

"Yeah!" Ruby nodded. "Yang told me that guys naturally have cooties, and that girls can catch them if they get too close. Once a girl catches a guy's cooties, the guys never go away until they get their cooties back."

"Are they grade school?" Mercury asked.

Even Jaune- or rather, only Jaune- raised an eyebrow to that. "Cooties. Really. And you believed that?" he asked Ruby.

Ruby pouted. "Well, why wouldn't I?" she asked. "Yang's cootie catcher was catching all the boys at Signal."

Blake paled. "I did not need to know that," she said, trying to shake the images out of her head. "And did Yang tell you anything… else about this 'cootie catcher'?" Blake managed.

Ruby considered. "Well, she did say that if it cooties ever itched to only scratch it alone," Ruby said shamelessly. "Yang has to buy a lot of panties hers itches so much."

Yang wanted to smash her head through a wall. 'I didn't mean to say that. Why Ruby?!'

Raven smirked. "It must have been really itchy, Yang."

Blake was pale enough that a little light-headedness, and paranoia, and even a touch of curiosity, were only natural. She wondered if she was exceptionally dirty minded, or the two before her exceptionally dumb, when Jaune opened his big dumb mouth. "Cooties itch? Maybe I do have them," Jaune considered. "Every once in a while in class, and so afterwards I-"

"EW!" Nora yelled out in disgust she did not want to hear that from Jaune. He could have done it in their room.

Pyrrha woke up from that piece of information as she started to cry again. "Why? I could have helped you with that Jaune! Why?"

Blake held up a hand. "Stop. Just stop," she begged for mercy, head pounding with all the blood to her face and brain. "I don't want to hear about you masturbating."

Two pairs of eyes looked at each other, blinked, and then turned to blink at her. "What's masturbating?" Jaune and Ruby asked in unison.

"It's sex with yourself, and-" Blake answered with familiar ease, before stopping. You know what? Fuck this. Figuratively.

"It'll be easier to show you," Blake said. Blake stood up, grabbed Ruby's hand, and began to pull the girl to one of the conveniently private sound-proof booths of the music room.

"I was rooting for you partner. But now I'll have to kill you!" Yang threatened her partner who had also paled when seeing her alternate self about to show their innocent team leader how to touch herself.

Jaune stood up and made to follow. "No!" Blake shouted in alarm, a practically permanent shade of red on her face blazing even harder. "Not you!"

"How am I supposed to learn about masturbation if I don't come?" Jaune asked.

"Yeah!" Ruby protested in defense of her friend. "Jaune needs to come to!"

Yang chuckled. "Actually, I'd like to see this. My partner teaching a guy how to jack off! That's going to be too good to not see."

"It's not decent!" Blake protested, clinging to a modesty she rarely practiced even as she pulled harder on Ruby's hand.

"It's not fair is what it is," Jaune protested. "You'd show your cootie-catcher to Ruby and not me? I'm the one who could be caught!"

"Yeah! And Jaune deserves to learn about sex first hand, not second hand," Ruby added, resisting as Blake gave another pull on her finger. "If I come, Jaune comes. We come together."

"Oh Oum… is this how I should have walked the line? I feel like I've been converted… I should follow this Jaune dude." Mercury pointed out while Emerald had face palmed.

"No!" Blake shot back, horrified at the accidental innuendoes the team leaders were dropping. How could they be this… innocent didn't begin to describe it! "I won't allow it!" she asserted.

Jaune made to protest again, but Ruby pulled her hand away from Blake to put it on Jaune's shoulder in solidarity. "It's okay, Jaune," Ruby assured, looking a little disappointed with Blake but sounding a lot cooler than normal. "It's not worth fighting over."

"But how can we learn about sex if Blake won't demonstrate?" Jaune asked, ignoring how Blake tightened in a nervous twitch.

"We'll just have to find some place to figure it out on our own," Ruby reasoned, giving a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "You know. Just us two dorks, alone, fumbling about in the dark without a clue what we're doing, learning the hard way…"

"Sounds like fun," Jaune said. "I'm more of a hand-on kind of guy anyway."

"He's about to have sex without even knowing it himself. He must be the son of a Sex God. That's the only way." Mercury talked to himself.

Ozpin chuckled. "Good thing I removed the adult portion of the library."

"Fine!" Blake shouted, hands curled and eyes shut as she conceded. "I'll teach him, alright?"

There was a silence, and when she opened her eyes Blake saw the wide-eyed disbelief and hope of her team leader. Jaune simply stared at her, mouth open. "Really?" Ruby asked, unable to believe it. "You'll show us?"

Blake nodded, and tried to take a deep breath, but only just avoided hyperventilating instead. It was just enough oxygen for the brain. "Teach. Not show. And not together." Blake reached over, picked up her literature, flipped to a random page in the middle, and practically shoved it into Jaune's face.

"Start reading and don't stop until it makes sense," Blake ground out, and then grabbed Ruby and dragged her to a privacy booth. She just barely managed to slam the door before Jaune could start reading aloud.

Ten of the most excruciatingly embarrassing minutes of her life later, Blake and Ruby emerged from the room with red cheeks. Well, Ruby emerged- chipper, practically skipping, and the red on her cheeks was the sort she always had in good cheer, albeit with the occasional suppressed giggle. Blake, in contrast, practically staggered out. An increasingly familiar red stained her face, and she looked like a woman starved for sanity, or modesty. She stumbled out of the booth, and wanted nothing more than for it to be over.

The two girls approached Jaune, who was engrossed in reading Blake's literature. No blush graced his cheeks, no pervy giggles, only an unusually earnest expression as he turned the pages. He only looked up when he heard Ruby's giggles approach. "Hey Ruby," he greeted. "Did she…?" he asked, indicating the struggling Blake.

"She sure did," Ruby giggled, sweet innocence radiating from her face. "She taught me a lot, and even showed me how to-"

Ruby was disappointed. "Aw I didn't learn how to even masturbate."

The Creator went to her and whispered in her ear, overtime Ruby became blushed a heavier shade of red and 'eeped.' She then stuttered. "D-D-Do-Doing th-that with J-Jaune." Her thighs squeezed together as she squirmed around.

That was the image that Weiss woke up to and decided to knock herself out. 'It's better I don't see this.'

Blake was exhausted, mentally and physically, but not too tired to stop that tangent. "Enough. I showed her enough. And there's nothing left to be confused about. Unless you have any questions?" she asked, tired eyes staring at Jaune and silently promising murder if he did…

"Actually, I do," Jaune said, neither he nor Ruby noticing the radiating animosity from the tired Blake. "I mean, I get how it works. I think. I didn't think ovaries were in the butt… But how typical is all that, really?"

"Typical?" Blake echoed.

Jaune nodded, blush fading as he did. "Like, who has that many ropes hanging about, or more than one set of handcuffs? And I don't really think candles are supposed to be used like that. But isn't the main guy a bit… off?" Jaune asked.

'He's a smut star,' Blake didn't admit. "How so?" she asked instead.

Jaune shot an awkward glance at Ruby, apparently less willing to spoil Ruby's innocence than Blake had had to. "Well, I mean, I realize I've no frame for reference," Jaune meandered, shuffling his feet a bit, "But isn't he a bit… under-equipped?"


"…. Never mind the son of a Sex God. He is the Sex God." Mercury yelled out as the ones who were interested in Jaune had started to drool a bit from their mouths.

The Creator chuckled. "Let us not forget he has large aura reserves which means more stamina." This caused them to bleed from their noses profusely and their drool turned into a waterfall.

Pyrrha asked. "Is this true?" A single nod from the Creator told all.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked more elegantly, still unfamiliar of the world of porn.

Jaune looked back at the book to check. "Isn't 'eight inches of raw, unrestrained masculinity' on the short end? I mean, I can only compare to myself, but still…" he trailed off.

Blake whimpered as unsought images and an entirely unwanted feelings filled her mind. She was not curious. She did not need to know. She was not going to ask.

So Ruby kindly did so for her, looking as sincerely curious as Blake had ever seen her. "So how big are you, Jaune?" Ruby asked.

Jaune laughed nervously. "Well, I'm sure it's nothing special, but-" he began.

"You don't have to tell us!" Blake rushed, hoping to spare Ruby's (possibly) still innocent ears, and her own mind the thoughts of thinking about it.

"But Blake." Ruby began to whine, "I want to know! Show us, Jaune!"

Blake, Yang and Pyrrha might have yelled out. "Whip it out!" They then retreated back to their seats in embarrassment while Tai and Qrow stirred from their slumber.

Qrow asked. "What the hell happened?"

"It's great! I mean, its fine! We don't need to know!" Blake insisted, frantic energy building like steam in her head.

"But Bla-ake! I want to know! I'm curious! Come on, it could be fun!" She whined and cajoled.

"No! It won't!" Blake shouted, hyperventilating. "Besides, you can't! You promised not to have sex with Jaune!"

"What?" Qrow looked around for answers.

Raven gave them. "The boy has a large sword underneath and some people here want to be pierced by it. Also they're still innocent and naïve. Just fuck already."

"Technically she didn't," Jaune pointed out, a bit too contemplative and not nearly opposed enough. "You just made her say she couldn't have sex."

"And that was before you told me how," Ruby pointed out.

"No no no no," Blake repeated, eyes wide and ears down. "You can't! You can't have sex to get pregnant!"

"So what if we had sex for more than just to get pregnant?" Ruby counter-offered.

Qrow had choked a bit since he was in the middle of drinking. "Since when did Summer's kid become Raven."

Raven chuckled. "I thought Tai enjoyed that." Tai blushed while Yang had plugged her ears, last thing she wanted to hear was her parents' sex life.

"Yeah. Like curiosity. Or fun!" Jaune offered.

"Then I'll kill you!" Blake claimed, then thought one better. "I'll castrate you!" she nearly frothed. "I'll tear it off!"

Ruby complained. "Don't tear it off Blake!"

Tai was scared and a bit disgusted. "Honey… why?"

Ruby looked at her dad and smiled. "Well… I would need it, right?"

Jaune covered himself instinctually, but Ruby put her hands on her waist and adopted a scolding expression as she bent forward at the waist. "Now wait just a minute, Blake," Ruby began, sounding very disappointed "You can't just go about putting your hands on Jaune's-"

"No more talking about it! Don't even think about it!" Blake ordered, nearing a tipping point. "This discussion is over! All of this! And I'm going back to bed!" Blake declared, making to leave.

"Aw…" Jaune pouted behind her, not sounding nearly as embarrassed as he should be after a lecture on sex ed, but Blake ruthlessly put any residual guilt about threatening castration to the side as she hurried to the door to flee.

"It's alright, Jaune," Ruby counseled, something in the girl's comforting tone sending a shiver up Blake's spine as her hand froze on the door knob.

"If you say so," Jaune accepted before deciding to change the subject. "So, what was the deal about your cootie catcher?" he asked instead.

"Oh, we can hit that later," Ruby said easily. "You show me yours and I'll show you mine?" she offered.

"Then how about I show you mine." Using her enhanced senses she heard him pop the buttons on his pants and the whooshing down of his zipper. She was about to protest since she looked back but then…

Blake's eyes rolled up as her body fell down towards the floor in a faint.

"… What…. the… hell…?" Yang drawled out as a majority of the female audience had their jaws dropped to the floor. No wonder he said that eight inches was on the short end and why he was nervous of his size.

Pyrrha moaned out. "That's an arm at least!"

Blake and Ruby and Cinder had licked their lips while Nora and Emerald cried out that their eyes were burning. Ren and Mercury felt that they couldn't compensate. The latter of which was on his knees giving praise to one who had beat him in that department. Roman spouted out that it was true that aura reserves proved the length of a man. Neo's eyes turned pink with little hearts in their pupils as her thighs squeezed together. Glynda and Weiss had face palmed while the others simply chuckled. Tai on the other hand was seething and it definitely wasn't Raven's reaction upon seing… the thing!

The Creator coughed out loud to get everyone's attention. "Well this scenario is almost done nevertheless, keep on watching."

Three and half months had passed by in the Team RWBY dorm room, the other members besides the still moping black cat were confused about what had happened to her. Blake had decided to shut up about the whole ordeal in order for her existence to not be destroyed by an irate overbearing elder sister. She hadn't even found out what happened to the two leaders but based on the fact they kept on sneaking out, she didn't stop them as well. Maybe the White Fang could accept her coming back.

Yang looked at her still traumatized partner. "You'd really do that? You were the Chosen One, you were supposed to fight off the boys not allow them to be with Ruby."

Weiss piped in. "Where in Oum's name is Ruby?"

Yang chuckled as she teased. "Probably with Vomit Boy. I think they look cute together. I mean I have to admit he's doing a good job. Last month, Jaune persuaded Ruby to eat vegetables and now she's addicted to it and she hasn't even eaten sugar for two months. I should have him come to Patch since the school year is ending."

Tai's face grew pale. 'Oh no… It can't be.'

Ruby was confused. "What? What's going on? Why would I even eat vegetables and remove the food of the gods?!"

Blake whined because her suspicions may have come true. 'For the love of all that is Oum. Please don't be-' There were several knocks on their dorm room's door and then it opened to reveal the two leaders holding hands.

Yang teased. "Ooh~ Are my eyes deceiving me? What you guys are tying the knot?" However the warm smiles from the two made the rest of the team stop speaking.

Jaune scratched the back of his head. "Well we were planning on that. I mean we were going to ask you guys to be the maid of honor and everything. Since it's going to be in Patch."

Raven smirked at the petrified or terrified expression of her ex. "Oh look the big bad bear of Patch will go soft when he becomes a grandpa."

Pyrrha whined and groaned. "That should have been me."

Nora tried to comfort her by rubbing her back. "It's alright Pyrrha, it just means you get to be more serious to Jaune." She wanted her happy ending to happen with JNPR to be best married buddies with kids and a pet Beowulf as they live in a big home and eat pancakes forever.


Ruby then interrupted her sister's question. "Yeah, Dad's really excited. We even invited Jaune's team over. It's going happen in a month and also we wanted to ask you Yang. Would you like to be the godmother of our kids?"

The elder sister and the younger Schnee's jaws dropped to the ground while giving out random noises of shock. Blake simply wanted to curl up in a ball and just die. Ruby however did not stop talking. "Well since we have twins, we named them Ying and Summer. So we decided to have Summer be Blake and Weiss while Ying is Ren and Nora."

Jaune then stated. "Honey you forgot about Sapphire?"

Ruby yelled out. "Oh! Right we have triplets, Sapphire will have Yang and Pyrrha as godparents."

Weiss screamed. "How did this happen?"

The two leaders looked at Blake as she instantly shivered from the killing aura from her two teammates. Jaune gave a warm smile. "It was a talk worth having."

The Creator smiled. "Well it was. Only a college fool would think otherwise."

That's the end of Shorts 2. When I mean stay away, it means stay away from responsibilities since Tai had stopped being a parent to heal from both Raven and Summer. The reason it's taking so long is because I'm fixing the preview for the next chapter. Also fixing the real world chapter, will place lore of the Creator in that specific chapter. So that you guys can guess who it really is, first one to guess it in reviews, will get the '?' chapter. So remember that prize. Will repeat it for the next chapter as well.

I wonder how many can get the references.

Thank you to Taiski for adding this story to his Top Shelve. I really feel like there are others he could have chosen from instead of mine. I see a lot of mistakes in this one to make it not well written.

Next short will be about Malloubaude and Imyoshi. Be patient for that.

Hope you enjoyed it.