Jacob and Leah are having sex. But Jacob's imprinted on Renesmee Cullen. Leah knows better than to trust him: He doesn't have a choice but to be with his imprint, even if he wants the right to choose his future.
The characters of this short story belong to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended.
"This has to be the last time, Jake."
I take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds before releasing it slowly. Instead of answering her I reach for my phone and activate the screen with my thumbprint.
I have three missed calls from Nessie and the time is later than it should be.
I resist the urge to call her back and make up some apology. Instead I turn it off and place it screen down.
I knew it was a risk meeting Leah tonight, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity with Seth and Sue being up at the Makah Res for the weekend. She'd made the first move, something she hardly does anymore.
I figure that's because I haven't given her a moment's rest in a while, maybe I've been wanting too much sex. Maybe she's tired of me already.
Whatever it is, I know we need to talk about it, but now that I'm with her, I just want to bury my face between her thighs.
I want her pulling my hair and cursing as she comes hard on my face.
I want to smell her.
I want to be balls deep between her fucking thighs.
I look down at the pole that is tenting the sheet that barely covers my junk and Leah rolls her eyes at me and growls.
Clearly we're not going for round five. And clearly I'm addicted to the pussy.
"I said this has to be the last time Jacob! Didn't you hear me?" She stands in the doorway and waves her arms around like a crazy person, gesturing to my rock-hard penis, then goes back to vigorously rubbing a towel through her hair.
I grunt in response.
Yeah I heard her, but what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? My body is saying "Hell NO!" to that right now, and so is my brain.
"Jacob Black, answer me dammit! You keep pretending like this is real but it's not. And I can't do this anymore knowing that it's never going to leave these four walls!"
I sigh. We had this conversation the first time we fucked and I got her to change her mind with sex. The annoyed vibes radiating from her face right now are dashing any hope of that trick working again. "I'm working on it, I told you." I tell her, not hiding that I'm a little annoyed with her too, for the record.
"I don't think I can wait Jake, and I'm starting to get paranoid."
"Paranoid?" I watch as she crosses the space between the doorway and the bed. She perches at the side of the mattress and I immediately slide my large hot palm against her thigh. Leah feels so soft, so perfect. Just marveling at the wonders of her skin has me twitching beneath the sheets.
"Jake, you're not paying attention to me."
"I beg to differ, baby." I give her leg a squeeze for emphasis and she slaps me. Hard.
"Ouch woman!" I rub at the spot dramatically, hoping she'll loosen up and drop this madness.
"Stop messing around, I'm trying to talk you." She sighs and her face drops into a sad, achy frown and I just can't stand the sight of her in pain. I hurt her as much as I love her, even though I'm not trying to do either. Shit just keeps happening with no explanation.
I pull her long legs over on the bed, adjusting so that she'll stretch her body out and against mine. I kiss her forehead tenderly and inhale the natural lavender scent of her skin. She burrows her nose into my broad chest and does the same. We are both now calm and ready to talk.
"What are you so paranoid about?" I whisper.
"I think Sam knows…"
I tense for a moment then take a breath. "Did he say something to you?"
"No, it's more of a look."
"He's obsessed with you, he'll always want to know who or if you're fucking. And your scent has grown more potent since we started this. He's an Alpha just like me so maybe he smells me on you – maybe he's noticed that there's something different about you…"
"Different how?" she looks up at me with those big dark eyes. My immediate response is to smooth the wet hair away from her face.
Now she stiffens, and her questioning eyes turn deadly in a split second. "Ripe? What the fuck am I? Fruit?"
I chuckle. "Sorry honey, I don't know how else to describe it. You're just so…..attractive and beguiling without even trying. Your scent is like - you're just…oozing sexy lately. I can't explain it."
Her mouth falls open and she shakes her head. "Please tell me this is a joke."
"I swear, I'm not joking. I think that's what got us in this mess to begin with, you just…I couldn't…help myself."
I have no idea what the fuck I'm saying right now.
"Why didn't you tell me? And all this time I'm thinking once I take a shower I'm good!"
"It helps but it doesn't take it completely away. I literally bury myself in you Lee, if he didn't catch on eventually, I'd think something was wrong with his sniffer."
"So the others know too?" I know she's worried Seth will find out. He'll take it really hard. We both know how he feels about Bella's family and what happened to his sister with Sam and Emily. I hate lying to everyone as much as she does, but my guilt isn't stronger than my desire for the one thing I can't rightfully have.
I shrug, pulling her close again. "I guess if they hang around you they will. Embry knows but Quil doesn't."
She pushes up to sit and glares down at me, her irises turning gold for a split second, letting me know the wolf will attack me without hesitation if I say another stupid word. "HOW DOES EMBRY KNOW! AND HOW LONG? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" she grabs a pillow and smothers my head. "YOU GET ON MY DAMN NERVES JACOB BLACK!"
I allow her a moment to think she's actually dominating me, then grab the pillow and tuck it behind my head against the wall. "Simmer down Lupa, he phased in at the wrong moment, that's all. I was running alone and he just phased in to ask me a question. It was an accident and I'm sorry."
She growls in frustration and throws her hands hand up in the air. "SEE! I TOLD YOU! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"
"Shh shh shhh. Come here." I pull her to my chest despite her protestations. When she finally simmers, after more than a few choice words, I begin to stroke her back.
"I'm not ashamed of us Leah. I want everyone to know, okay? I promise, I'll find a way to make this real. I'll have you outside of these four walls soon, one way or the other."
I know it's a huge risk I'm taking, making such a lofty promise, but it's what I want, and so, I have to believe in myself. Or else…I'll be stuck and without Leah.
She doesn't reply, and we end up just lying there quietly for another ten minutes. I'm freaking out a little over what's going on in her brain. The moment couldn't be more awkward.
It's her who finally breaks the silence.
"I don't think you can hurt her Jake. That's the real reason why I need this to stop before anyone else finds out. That will just make what we're doing so much dirtier…and I don't want to feel that way about this..."
It pains me to hear it, but she has a point whether or not I like it. And I don't want anyone thinking bad of her again like they did before. "Leah, me telling her about us is not going to hurt her! She's going to understand. I've never made any promises of marriage or anything to Nessie. That's not what our relationship's like."
"But she thinks you belong to her, she always has. One day she'll want more than a best friend and she'll expect you to be there. You won't be able to reject her, that's what I'm trying to say. I believe you when you tell me that you want this, but let's just be realistic instead of fooling ourselves. You can't."
"She lives in Paris, she's enjoying her life there. She's becoming her own woman without me around, so it won't come to that. When I see her for her birthday, we'll talk. She knows you and I are close as it is Leah, I don't think it will be a shock."
"Her thinking that you and I are packmates and finding out that you've been fucking me daily for almost two months now are two very different things. She's not going to like it, the possessive instinct of the imprint will kick in and suddenly, you'll be a couple, then engaged, then married. Just like Sam and Emily. Then what? You and I could never survive that in any capacity. I'd have to leave the pack."
"You can't go back to him," I growl possessively, my grip on her tightening a little.
Leah growls back and rolls away from me to sit at the bottom of the bed.
"I won't go back to him," she whispers but I can hear the promise in her voice.
I don't know what to say. My immediate reaction is to deny what she believes, but then I'd be lying. I've seen it with Paul and Rachel so many times; with Sam and Emily, Quil and Claire too. Nessie has a right to own me, to force me by simply declaring her own innocent desires, and it's exactly why I can't be with her. Hell, that's why I hate imprinting! It's why I'm fucking scared to be around her too much now that she's "grown up" by her own special standards (the fact that she's only seven still rubs me the wrong way).
How could I ever trust that she'll not take advantage of me?
Fuck that, how can I sleep with my first love's daughter?
How do I make a life with a half-vampire?
No one's got a clue on how that's going to work.
And I don't want to spend the rest of my life, hundreds of years, phasing. I want to grow old and experience all the stages of being a man as a chief should. I want to be here on my land and carry on the Black name with little black headed, honey-skinned babies. When I think about my future it's here. I don't want to hide, I don't want to leave my people to think I died young.
Leah knows all of this. She's the only one I've told everything to. She's the one who understands and doesn't think that I should just fall into the imprint like the others. She doesn't think it's a bad thing that I disagree with Quil who just thinks he'll marry Claire one day, just because they imprinted. I thought Dad would get it but he's too steeped in traditions and making my life into a new legend or some shit. He's romanticizing the hell out of the wrong things, thinking I'm lucky to be bound to a seven year old for life.
I look over at her. Her head is bent and she's picking at the skin around her nails. "I know what I want Lee, and it's you. I won't give up on us. I'm not scared. I'm going to spend my life with you."
If I say it enough times, it'll come true.
It has to, even if selfishly for the sake of my sanity.
"You can say it all you want, but when she changes gears your words will change too. It's about what SHE wants and needs, Jake. I know you remember that."
This is what infuriates me, this side of her that's just too fucking "on the nose."
I suck my teeth in frustration and push off of the bed. Leah watches me pace up and down with a cocked eyebrow, and I know she's got some shit to say. But as my Beta, she at least knows I need a minute without talking.
I don't want to argue. But she hurt me. She just has to call me out on my greatest fear without any kind of sensitivity.
And what's worse is that she has no faith in me at all, only the imprint.
I stop in front of her and point to myself. "I am strong enough to know what's in my heart. You make it sound like she'll just hypnotize me into forgetting about you. But I'm not a puppet, Leah. No matter what I have to do, it's not going to change what I feel."
Leah snorts at me. "Well that's exactly what's going to happen Jake! Don't fool yourself into thinking that what you feel will make any difference!"
"I'm NOT fooling myself okay! Not about THAT at least!" I shoot back, grabbing my boxers from the floor and slipping them on.
"What are you talking about?"
"YOU!" I shout. Now it's my turn to gesture like a mad person. "You don't really want this. You don't believe me when I say that you're the one I'm going to be with!" I take a few deep breaths to break out of this hissy fit, then I meet her eyes again. "I can work something out with Nessie, Leah. Just have a little faith."
"Jake - " she bites her lip and shakes her head. Her eyes suddenly turn glassy as they fill with tears. She looks away from me and shakes her head again. "You should know why I can't believe you no matter how much I want to."
Her voice quivers and I watch as Leah rushes out of the room. I hear the bathroom slam shut across the hall.
I run my hands over my face.
Yeah. I know.
I tap lightly on the door and open it without her consent. She's sitting on the toilet lid blowing her nose.
"Leah, baby don't cry."
I pull her up to stand then place her to sit on the sink so that we're more on eye level. I push her hair away from her face and cup her jaw in my palms. I lean in and kiss her softly with a light nibble on her lip. Her arms slide around my waist as she opens her mouth to me. Our tongues dance as our hands explore one another's chests. I finally pull away her robe thingy she says is a "kimono," so that I can trail kisses across her shoulder, then I dip and take her nipple into my mouth. Leah arches back and wraps her legs around my ass. The scent of her arousal hits me full on and I groan with need.
How do I explain to her that she's mine?
She's Jacob's, not the wolf's or anyone else's.
I control my own destiny.
I make the decisions.
I take what's mine.
I don't have time to fucking doubt myself, or this right here in front of me. I can't afford to let her think that I'm not choosing her.
I want to put Leah Clearwater first. I already do, but no one – not even her – fucking sees it because all my love for her is confined to the dark.
I can't let this go on and she needs to know that this is worth fighting for.
Leah tugs on the waistband of my boxers, her hands taking hold of my dick and pumping me slowly, coaxing me to submit to her. I buck my hips into her hands and she quickly responds, directing me straight to her slick, pulsing heat.
I push hard.
I show no mercy.
I pound her so hard that she better get the message:
Never question my commitment to this relationship. Or what will be a relationship.
"Say you're mine," I growl, as my teeth graze her neck. The timbre of the Alpha wants to escape but I hold it back, just barely. Jacob the man would never force Leah Clearwater to do anything. Especially not this.
"I'm yours," she chokes out and I feel a weight lift from my shoulders.
It doesn't take long for Leah to orgasm. This one comes fast and hard because I've already made her cum for me multiple times in the last hour and a half. I quickly follow her, giving her ass a firm slap in satisfaction.
Leah moans and pulls my lips back to hers. She kisses me leisurely, taking her time to enjoy how my lips melt perfectly into hers. She whimpers my name as I cup her thighs and press into her body, reminding her that we belong together.
I don't see how I could ever want anything beyond this.
Me and her, we're the fucking magic.
ONE WEEK LATER
I can't believe he's really pushing for this, for us. He's gone to the Cullens to talk to Bella and Edward first, before Renesmee. It's a good idea to give them the heads up about his plans…but I can't help but worry that they'll react badly to the news. I mean, I think Deadward would be fine with finally getting Jacob out of his perfect little family; but Bella will want to hold on. She's never been good with letting him be, unless he's done something to piss her off of course (namely, insulting her coven). She wants him to always be her daughter's protector, she's paranoid that the Volturi will come back again. But Jake isn't a guard dog, and I hate when they treat him like one.
When they left for Europe it was because their precious spawn wanted to see the world. Jacob of course tagged along because he wanted to see it too, and hell, I don't blame him. But he was miserable the whole time. Being around vampires 24/7 was killing him slowly. Imprint or no imprint, his wolf couldn't handle it. And he felt like he was just along for the ride as the designated Manny. So he left them in Spain and came home…and somehow fell straight into my arms instead.
I still don't quite know what happened. I just know that he finally came back home after being gone for sixteen long months, and it was like finding water after sojourning the desert. When we saw each other, something just clicked. We just…mutually combusted. I'd never really admit it, but I'd missed him so much. I was probably a bit jealous too…jealous that he could leave and have an experience that was all his own without the packs. But after I laid eyes on him and felt a stirring in my vajayjay, I realized that it was something more…that I was jealous of her.
Jacob's not just my Alpha, he's my rock. He keeps my head on straight and is the only soul alive who can make my temper simmer down. I need him around as much as my wolf does. And I don't like the fact that he's not mine for the taking. All I can ever own is his virginity.
"Well, this was easier than I thought it would be."
I'm never so lost in my head that I let a vampire sneak up on me unawares…well, that one time after the newborn battle doesn't count…I was fucking tired.
I look up into the golden eyes of Rosalie Hale. She doesn't even wait for me to respond, she just slides her cold body into the seat across from me. My hand tightens on my coffee mug, and her eyes catch the movement.
"Relax, don't cause a scene. I just want to talk."
I take a deep breath – which I instantly regret because of her foul smell – and sit back in the chair.
"I came to Forks to think, and to get a break, not to talk to dead people," I tell her coldly. Jacob had given me a spare key to the Rabbit to use anytime. Driving around always helps me feel like I'm actually sane. I can find peace for a little while when I'm alone with my music and the endless road.
"Well, you're in a public café, that means, we can talk now. And I really don't have time for this, wolf."
"What do you want then, leech?"
Rosalie smiles menacingly and leans across the table. "Are you fucking Jacob Black?"
My eyes widen and my heart immediately starts to race.
"I take that as a yes then," she replies, sitting back, all smug with her perfectly coiffed self.
"It's none of your business."
"Au contraire. I heard your lover's admission not too long ago. Seems he called Bella here to tell her he won't be pursuing a romantic relationship with our Nessie."
I forget sometimes that she's declared herself Nessie's second mother. So whatever involves her, involves Rosalie as well. She's a huge part of the reason why Jacob had such a pissy time away. I benefitted from the leech making Jacob so miserable that he came back home, but I hate her for always being such a nasty bitch to him.
"Aren't you glad?" I ask. "Don't you want to see the dog go?"
"Of course I'm glad he wants to go, but Renesmee won't be. And what hurts her is a problem I have to fix."
"What are you saying?" My heart skips a beat as a cold feeling creeps over my skin.
"I'm saying that this won't work. Nessie's changing, she's maturing and it's only a matter of time before it clicks that Jacob's her perfect mate."
"She might not want that," I say, only because I don't want her to know that I already agree with her theory. Or maybe I say it because Jacob's said it so many times that I'm starting to believe him.
"And she might. She has the right to choose what she wants. Jacob imprinted on her and I simply won't allow him to walk away and break her heart. Not after seven years of her being obsessed with him!"
"He says she's happy in Paris, living her own life, finding herself," I argue, weakly.
"That's what she tells him because she doesn't want him to know that she misses him. She wants Jacob to live his life as he wants to. But it's hurting her for him to be away, Leah. If he gets into a serious relationship with you it will crush her."
Here I am, innocently sitting alone, waiting to hear word that this stupid notion of us being together might actually be possible…and in comes a vampire to slap me back down to earth. I hate myself for being so stupid, for believing for a few moments that I'd win the guy this time around. I'd be the worst person in the world if I really go through with this. I already am, because I fucked someone else's property.
"I never wanted to hurt her," I reply, defeated. Tears are stinging my eyes but I blink them away. I'd quicker poke them out with a fork than let this leech see me cry.
"Thanks for the saying that Leah."
I can't help it, I have to ask. "Does he know what you told me?"
The vampire's facial expression softens as much as it can and Rosalie looks at me with pity.
I nod once to relay that I get it, and avoid eye contact, hoping she'll leave now. But a black leather Chanel purse appears in front of me on the table. I look up at her then. "What's that?"
"A bag full of money, for you."
THIS MOTHERFUCKING HO-
"Before you get your panties in a twist, you don't have to take it if you don't want to. I'm not trying to buy you off or anything," the vampire says quickly.
"Then what the fuck is it for then?" I snap. Cause I think I know a bribe when I see it.
"It's a gift, woman to woman, because I know you don't really have anyone who can actually give you what you need most."
"And what is that exactly?" I ask, with as much attitude as the thirteen-year-old version of myself (which is bad, trust me. My tantrums are legendary…killers in fact). The thought of my dead father pierces my heart for a second and I am reminded of all the reasons why an out would be the perfect solution to my troubles.
"If you wanted to get away Leah…if you needed a little vacation to…get over all the drama…then I'd like you to take it. I don't think that any of this is easy for you Leah. You've been through so much since you phased. Some time away might be a good thing for YOU, don't you think?"
I look down at the purse, biting my lip.
I can't help but feel relieved.
She's right. She's fucking right.
The only thing I want more than Jacob is to GET OUT.
And if I have to lose him, I don't want to be around to watch him walk out of my life forever.
It's better that I walk out of his.
AN: Thanks for reading another one of my mediocre Blackwater pieces! I actually have a story idea for this which would explain a few hints in the story, but I'm still plagued with writer's block. So I don't know if or when I will expand it. Fingers crossed ya'll! I'm trying.