The 14th Annual Kim Possible Fannies Awards

From the Desk of Sharper,

Hello, everyone and welcome to another installment of the traditional Kim Possible Fannies Awards. With everyone still recovering from the impact of the live-action movie, let us bask in the pomp and circumstances of the traditional awards ceremony where, who knows what surprises may be in store.

The fanfic is rated T for some strong language and a couple of obscene gestures, a bit of sexual dialogue, a drug reference, and some action violence.

Kim Possible, characters and settings, are created by Schooley and McCorkle and (c) by Disney.

Any OC I create is my own.

Chapter 1 - Kim & Ron vs. the LAM Backlash & Bullying

(July 27, 2019)

This was it.

The day before the annual KP Fannies Ceremony.

After two years on the road that also involved the kidnapping of a co-host AND the leader of a quasi-government police agency, plus an alternate dimension of the KP crew and the whole bru-ha-ha over the live-action movie, the ceremony returned to the Tri-City Convention Center in Middleton. The KP Kimmunity and the Middleton City Council agreed on a four-year deal to host the Fannies at the Convention Center. The presentation itself was going to be held at the Timothy North Memorial Theater.

Everyone was getting ready for all the glitz and glamor of the awards show, especially on which dress the grown KP women were going to wear for tomorrow's event.

At the same time however, something else had bothered the now 31-year old Kim's mind.

In fact, the infamous trip they took to South Dakota last year made their marriage stronger. It's just that they did not want to be associated with the Stoppable Family Vacation Curse, so both Kim and Ron decided to legally change the entire family's last name to put his wife's name first. This year, they had taken a trip to both Hawaii and South Carolina and did not run into any significant problems.

And yet, something else had nagged at her mind for over the last five months.

It was all the hate the LAM had been receiving over the timespan. It was like a big stress ball that Kim was squeezing really and mighty hard but it was about to pop. She didn't say anything about it at all after the February 15th premiere of the LAM. -

"Ron, all of this is getting on my nerves! UGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

"KP, calm down a bit! You're letting this whole thing get to your head!"

Both Kim and Ron Possible-Stoppable were walking down the hall of the convention center. . Ron was in a button down shirt, white tennis shoes and baggy jeans held with a belt. Thankfully for Kim, he was not showing his underwear. She was wearing her favorite dark denim baggy Club Banana overalls. It had holes in the kneecaps, but it had a cargo pocket big enough for Rufus. The left strap was hooked but she unhooked the right strap. It was dangling behind her back so that she liked it 90s style. Plus, she had a green button-down shirt. She also was wearing a gold statement necklace, giant dangling earrings,a ladies watch, two bracelets and a total of five rings, including the wedding band. Kim finalized the outfit with black sneakers.

Rufus, on the other hand, was standing on top of his owner's shoulder.

"I am so not jelly about the criticism of the LAM!" Kim countered at her husband.

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Am too...times infinity!" Ron snarked.

"Ughh...got me on the infinity clause!" Kim exclaimed.

"Jinx, I owe you a soda, KP!" Ron said, giving a smile to his wife.

Kim smiled back and got back to the topic at hand.

"Anyways, what pissed me off about the whole criticism starts with the little parts. First off...the look of the LAM's mission outfit!" Kim ranted.

Ron sat down on a nearby crate and began to listen to his wife's rant.

"First off...people complained about the fact that the actress was not wearing a croptop! She is 17 years of age last time I checked. That would be downright creepy! And second thought was that people were comparing it to a Halloween costume! I mean, do they even have a brain cell in that head of theirs? Hell, even I can defeat Shego in that outfit!"

"So said the person that wore croptops to school all the time!" Ron snarked. "And of course, currently owns 25 pairs of baggy overalls."

"Ron..." Kim groaned, "...fashion ideas change between 2003 and today, though I do swear by Club Banana's baggy overalls. I do think the mission pants looked very cute on the actress despite the obvious lack on the pockets."

"I tell ya, KP." Ron said while eating some of the Bueno Nacho catering at the nearby table. "Some people just think with that Dawson's Casting mentality!"

"And that, Ron, will serve as a transition to my second point about this whole criticism BS!" Kim replied, continuing on with her rant, "These so-called quote-en-quote 'fans of my show' thinking that a grown-ass 24 to 28-year old woman would play a FIFTEEN-YEAR OLD GIRL?! Does ANYONE even KNOW what teenagers even look like?!"

"I tell you, these women cannot even grasp what it is even like to be in the shoes of a teenager approaching her very first day of high school!"

Her anger became more apparent.

"The damn nerve of some people to call a teenager a 'crop-top hoe' and a 'bad bitch' really wants me to unleash all my styles of kung-fu against them and send these idiots to the hospital. That is simply a sick and wrong term to describe me and my gender, thank you very much! And this is on the poor girl's first major starring film role! I mean, can't those people just live and let live? They have the animated version that they can watch all the time on the Mouse's new stream thing coming up in November. Let the teens and young kids of THIS generation, including my own, have the LAM!"

"Maybe that was the reason why the trailer for the LAM had more than 160,000 dislikes on the interwebs." Ron said while drowning the Naco in sheer Diablo sauce. Rufus dug into the Naco.

"Getting on to point number three against the LAM backlash, Ron." Kim continued with her rant. "The whole 'me-with-a-secret-identity' thing is complete bullshit!"

"Wow, KP! I have not seen you this salty and potty-mouthed since the South Dakota trip!" Ron exclaimed. He had seen Kim utter even worse words than that during that fateful trip.

"Ron, you know my stance when it comes to this!" Kim said, "Through all of my years of high school, I neither once HAD a secret identity that only, like, two people knew nor did I belong to some secret agency where if I blew my cover I would have to be relocated to another host family! The only time I even was involved in one was because of teamups, though it felt weird working with a platypus wearing a fedora and having that mission wiped out from my memory."

"Wasn't there that one time in your show, KP...?" Ron asked.

"Oh that, Ron?" Kim said, "I remembered that you were the Fearless Ferret at the time under Timothy North, God rest his soul."

"And Mr. North offered you to be Ferret Girl." Ron said.

"But I declined stating that I don't get the whole superhero-secret-identity thing." Kim countered "I made that crystal-clear that everyone: my parents, my friends, my neighbors, hell, even the former team-mates on the Middleton High squad that I was out there saving the world from the bad guys!"

"Yet...some people just don't learn." Ron bemoaned.

"Ugh...and don't even get me started on point number four...THE worst thing of the whole LAM criticism! In actuality, I don't even call it criticism...it is so in the territory of bullying! Again, as I have stated before, the Kim actress was 16 (now 17) when she did the movie! And they bully the poor girl on all her social media sites such as Flitter, InstaPic, and AddressBook! The other thing that annoys the hell out of me is the whole 'my childhood is ruined' shit every time something is rebooted! No, their childhood isn't ruined. They had a childhood, like we did, and it lasted a good while until we got to adulthood!"

"And for those people that have the nerve...the damn audacity...to actually post hateful comments such as killing herself? In my eyes, I do not consider some of them to be 'fans of my show' " Kim replied with air quotes around 'fans of my show" with her fingers. "To me, they should be arrested by the police and sent to jail!"

Taking a deep breath, the redhead added, "My show was supposed to teach kids about friendship and kindness. And in my eyes, the Kim LAM actress is a perfect repesentation of...well...me! She took on those hateful comments with messages of positivity. THAT in all honesty, represents THE true Kim Possible spirit that has been exhibited by some of our good fans in the past, such as the late CPNeb and the late Commander Argus. I loved it! You loved it! Our kids loved it!"

Rufus nodded his head in agreement, belching out what remnants of the Naco there was.

"Even Rufus, the mole rat who did become CGI, loved it! If they are going to target the KP LAM actress, they'll have to get through me first!"