Snake Interviews Snake
Snake: Hello, I'm here with everyone's favourite human being Snake.

Snake: Aha, you're too kind.

Snake: No I'm not. Here, have some money.

Snake: Oh, thank you.

Snake: Now Snake, I heard you're walking on a brand new movie. Is it as genius as your last movies?

Snake: Very much so. It's titled "Jesus's Rocket Ship". I play Jesus, and I go on crazy adventures in my rocket ship.

Snake: Wow, it sounds amazing.

Snake: It is amazing.

Snake: So, I also heard you have a TV show coming out this Fall too. Is this true?

Snake: Yes. It's a mystery series called "The Snake Mystery Chronicles." I play myself, and we have a bunch of celebrities suck as Chuck Norris, Burt Reynolds, and Sir Dustin Diamond. And then, on the last episode, where I'm about to solve the Mystery of the Mysterious Mastermind, I don't, and never will.

Snake: Do you think it'll make you billions of dollars?

Snake: Yes. Yes I do.

Snake: And since you're so busy, you also have a new CD coming out!

Snake: Yep. Me, Don Knotts, and Wilford Brimley formed the band "The Rockin' Rockers from Rocksville" and are releasing our first album next Summer, called "Rockin' it up a Notch".

Snake: Wow, I bet it'll be godly.

Snake: Would you like to hear some lyrics from it?

Snake: Absolutely.

Snake: Ahem. "I'm the preacher of rock and roll, I'll rock ya world just like a hurricane, and then I'll steal yo' wallet and buy me a steamroller and crush ya' face." And then, after that, Don Knotts does this kickass guitar solo. It's totally rockerific.

Snake: And then if all this stuff isn't enough, you also have a book.

Snake: Yep. My autobiography, "Portrait of a Genius: The Solid Snake Experience" will come out next month. It tells the harrowing story of my life, from when I was an inner city street punk, to when I assasinated Kennedy.

Snake: Now, let's get to the big news everyone wants to hear about: will you ever head to Broadway and make a musical?

Snake: You know, that dream may finally come true for me. Last year, I was approached to create a musical. And so, I have begun work on "Cut it Out", a musical version of Full House. I'm going to star as the Bob Saget character, Dave Coultier will play as Uncle Joey, and Uncle Joey's evil pirate twin brother. And of course, John Stamos will return to play as Jesse, and the dog. It'll be about the adventure of these three men as they sail the seas looking for the lost Olsen twins.

Snake: Have you written any songs for it yet?

Snake: Why yes, I have. There's "Argh, ye matey!", "Woodchuck Rock", and my favourite, "Uncle Jesse and the Gang's Wild Tambourine Brigade."

Snake: Fascinating. I'm sure it will be a big hit when it comes out.

Snake: I've already visited the future, and it will be gigantic.

Snake: Now, it's time to ask you about some rumours. Is it true you've been seeing Jennifer Lopez?

Snake: Let me straighten this out. I was married to Jennifer three times before: 1989, 1990, and 1993. We don't see each other anymore, and she's had another 11 husbands after me, so I doubt she even thinks about me anymore.

Snake: I also heard another rumour, that you were going to run for president.

Snake: That's not a rumour, it's the truth. I'm going to be President of the USA!

Snake: Who's going to be your running mates?

Snake: Mothara and Whimpy, Popeye's friend.

Snake: I didn't know they were real.

Snake: Oh yeah. Whimpy runs a hamburger addiction clinic, and Mothra teaches at a preschool.

Snake: And one last rumour. Is it true your real name is Herman Zebowski?

Snake: Absolutely not. My real name is Zuktroy Vorgason.

Snake: Now, I'd like to ask a question you may not know the correct answer to. Where do you see yourself in 20 years Zuktroy?

Snake: I'll be blasting across the skies in my giant mansion/rocket house, solving mysteries by day, and running a roller disco by night.
Part 2 Coming Soon!
Hey, Snake needs your help! He wants you, the fans, to ask questions for him to answer in the next part! Just add them in the review section, and maybe Snake will answer them!*
*Maybe is a guarantee. Snake will answer any and all questions asked him, including idiotic questions such as "Are you a communist?", and "Are you sure you're not a communist?"