Sorry probably isn't enough to such delay, but still. I am so sorry. A lot of writer block since last chapter. And confidence issues. And not reading the reviews was both good and bad for my motivation. To the point I am now afraid of reading them, jesus christ. I will try to read them, but it's a work in progress T.T

Still, I am going to upload with what I consider half a chapter because it has been more than a year and I want to force myself to update something. And maybe see if writing shorter chapters helps. We will see.

If you are still here, reading my story after all this, again, I am so sorry. And thank you so much!

The trip through the forest was quiet and tense.

Kyle seemed to have kept his word, as there had been no signs of anyone following them for the last few hours. Still, Knight could not help but be worried about their situation. After all, they were unarmed and, except for him, visibly tired. That without mentioning Chloe's injuries, which seemed to be a lot better after the healing potion Olga had given her, but Knight still could see little grimaces of pain with every movement and shake of their horse.

For his part, Knight used the time to really think about his situation. How everything had started the day he opened his eyes on that glade, how he had moved with the flow of events. From helping the town to joining Maia in her mission and finally the recent betrayal from the land's heroes. And with every step, Knight had let others set the path and pace. He had trusted others, believing that being from another world and with no memories, they would know better.

And he had been wrong.

Knight did not regret saving the town, following Maia or helping with the mission when he believed that it would end the war. But he regretted blindly trusting Maia's words, the plan, and the Kuroinu. If he had not been so trusting, maybe he would have realized there was something wrong… But probably not.

Knight liked to think he was observant, but he knew he was not smart enough to see through their true intentions when he lacked so much context.

Still, he had to be better. He had to think before acting, to use his brain beyond just fighting. Even if lied to, the truth was that Knight had helped the Kuroinu to remove the last obstacle before they could invade the country. So, it was his duty to help destroy them until no one could remember them.

The chance to get Vault's sword from his corpse was just a little extra.

The problem was, Knight was not as strong as he had been, as the warrior that had fought gods and eventually won. He had to improve and get stronger, and their escape had shown him how: burning the souls of his enemies to fuel the Fire. There was just a little problem with that.

Knight's souls shivered in fear every time he thought about using the Fire again.

He was not sure what he had seen, if that woman made of flames had been real or not. What he was sure of was that the mere thought of her and her screaming were enough to fill him with the primordial fear of being… consumed. Even worse than his unending burning away in the Fire. It was like she could erase every bit of Knight's body, mind and soul with no effort… or at least that was what he had felt…

No, using the Fire for now was not an option. Not until he was sure his existence would not be erased if he tried.

But then, what? Fighting had been improving his coordination and muscle memory, but it had a limit, and after regaining enough to shake his head, Knight knew he was getting close to that limit. After that, recovering his lost strength seemed like the only solution, and that would force him to face his fears.

…

That did not evoke any memory, so maybe he had been very brave in his past life, or very stupid… Recent events made him think it was the latter.

Hopefully, that stupidity would help when Knight had no other option but to use the Fire.

In silence and deep pondering, the group kept going for hours. The travel to the clearing had taken half a day when Knight and Maia had arrived, and even if they had been delayed by trying to not be detected, their current silent escape caused a similar effect. It was obvious they would not reach the forest's end before dawn, probably even more. And it seemed no one knew that better than the queen of this land.

"We have traveled enough for now." Olga said, stopping their horse and forcing Nox to stop too, "We should rest."

Maia scoffed, irritated by the sudden stop, "No, we shouldn't. Have you forgotten that we are escaping with a bunch of rabid dogs on our trail?"

"Of course not." Olga scoffed back, "But we need to rest. Even at this pace, riding a horse is aggravating Chloe's injuries. Probably even reopening them. I can feel the blood on my back after all."

Chloe gasped with those words and separated from her queen, trying to see if it was true. And it was, Maia and Knight could see it clearly. Her bandages were more red than white at this point, and some of her blood remained on Olga's lower back, where the half dark elf had been pressed as they rided.

"M-My Queen! I am so sorry, I will clean it and—!"

"It was not a way to scold you, Chloe, just pointing out the facts. You need a change of bandages and really, I need rest too." she sighed, her probably-pale-for-a-dark-elf skin and the bags under her eyes supporting her claim, "You people attacked my tower the day of the ritual, but it is something that needs vast amounts of preparation. I have not slept in three days, and after what just happened, I think I deserve some rest."

Maia raised an eyebrow, probably not convinced Olga 'deserved' anything that was minimally good, but she sent a glance at Chloe's direction with some doubt, "Still…"

"What? Do you want us to keep going and be dead tired when something happens?... if not completely dead in one case." Olga's words made Chloe look down in shame, but it seemed it was enough to affect Maia as well, as she looked down, "Or better yet, to keep going and rest on the plains around the forest, with no cover and in the middle of the day. I am sure nothing could go wrong."

It was clear Maia wanted to keep going, especially after the palpable amount of sarcasm, but finally, she sighed and nodded, looking up again, "Fine, fine. Just some hours of rest and sleep until dawn and then we keep going. Luckily, Knight can take care of the vigilance on his own."

He nodded behind Maia. The lack of basic needs could be useful at times.

With that, the group searched for a better place and started to make a little camp, although not bothering with setting a proper tent, just some fur rugs on the ground to sit on. Olga and Chloe did basically the same, except when the half dark elf began to set twigs and branches between the two rugs.

Maia looked at this, disbelief clear in her eyes, "Did Knight knock something loose in your head when he smashed you through those walls? Or are you really stupid enough to set a fire while we are fucking scaping?"

Chloe's frown was full of hate when she looked at Maia, but then she stopped, threw another branch to the pile, and smiled sardonically, "Of course a human would think that. Can't ask for water from a dried puddle, can I?"

"What—"

"We will use Shadow Fire." Olga interrupted before it could escalate, "Hot enough to burn and keep us warm, but its light can not be seen from afar and it does not create smoke." she explained as she opened some kind of lamp she had retrieved from her bag. A small purple flame came out and ignited the wood, creating a little, smokeless bonfire, just as she said, "If that is enough to ease your worries, stop, both of you. Before your useless antics reveal our position better than any fire."

Chloe looked down, chastised, while Maia looked at her side and snapped her tongue, but, thankfully, did not do anything else. Knight let out a silent sigh. Olga was right. If the two started to fight, they would be discovered. With that crisis avoided, he looked at the purple fire. The bonfire was… dull compared to his memories. No twisted sword, no pile of bones and ashes, no unnatural warmth and sense of belonging… but considering his recent experiences with the Fire and the Fire Lady, that was probably for the best.

Finally, after some minutes, the three women were seated around the fire, taking out some of their rations -dried meat for Maia and some kind of bread for Olga and Chloe- while remaining in a not so comfortable silence. Knight decided to stand at Maia's side, just in case… While that case would be from the Kuroinu finding them or from his current group, he could not say.

Maia and Chloe started to eat directly, but Olga grabbed another bag and, before the surprised eyes of Maia and Knight, began to change Chloe's bandages, much to the shame and embarrassment of the half dark elf, who was trying to stop her queen from dirtying her hands. It did not stop her though, ordering her to be still as Olga cleaned the wound. And it was not a pretty sight.

The cuts Maia had created had an angry red color. Some skin seemed to have grown over the wound, closing it a little, but it was still open in several points, bleeding profusely now that the tight bandage was not compressing the flesh. If that wasn't enough, her whole torso looked to be a giant bruise, probably from Knight's charging strategy. Luckily for Chloe, Olga seemed to be quick with her hands, cleaning the cuts with that purple healing liquid, rubbing it over the bruises, and applying new bandages as Chloe did her best to not react in pain.

It was… strange. Knight's vision of Olga -of royalty and gods in general- did not match with what was happening. In this moment, the Dark Queen did not seem to care about status or remaining proper, not about her hands getting bloody, just about helping Chloe and making sure she would not die. It could be for selfish reasons of course, but considering everything that had happened, and the interactions Knight had seen between the two…

He could not help but imagine a strict mother, fussing over her injured child, not showing how worried she really was.

It was clear he was not the only one, as Maia had stopped eating, looking at the situations with a hard to decipher expression. Considering how much she hated the two dark elves, it was probably harder for her to reconcile this scene with what she knew.

When the bizarre moment passed, the three started to eat again, the silence not as uncomfortable as before, but charged with a strange energy, only the faint sound of the purple fire crackling between them interrupting it from time to time.

At least, until Maia shook her head, stopped chewing, and looked at Olga with a frown, "I am surprised you are still here, to tell the truth."

Olga stopped eating as well, answering Maia's frown with a raised eyebrow, "And what is that supposed to mean, girl?"

"You know what I mean." Maia replied with a sigh, taking another bite of her rations, "I know, probably better than anyone, how much you want to take revenge on Kuroinu and your monsters, but really… I thought you two would try to escape as soon as there was a chance. I wouldn't have stopped you, even. I have enough shit to deal with right now."

Chloe did not seem happy with the idea of her queen running away, but Olga kept her from saying something with a quick glance. For his part, Knight blinked. Now that he thought about it, the deal had been to cooperate until they could escape, but back with Kyle, Maia had spoken about remaining together, even about Olga helping them. He had basically ignored it, carried away by their need to escape quickly and his own worries, but now…

Where was this coming from? Had Maia made some kind of deal with them while Knight was unconscious? Was it good, or should he worry?

Without a way to ask these questions, he focused again on the conversation. Chloe glared at Maia, apparently offended by her words, her actions, her behavior or a mix of all of them. Really, Knight was starting to think that was the natural expression of the half elf's face. At her side, Olga looked deep in thought, eyes looking at the trees around them, until she sighed.

"I find it physically painful, to prove you partially right by admitting this, but yes, I thought about that possibility. However, in the end, my spite and rationality won. After all…" she sighed again, looking at the night sky with… nostalgia?, "...where else could I go?"

Maia blinked, "What are you talking about? The lands of the dark elves are North of your tower, right? And you are their queen."

Olga chuckled with a strange expression, as if amused by a joke only she could get, "You would think so, would you not? And yet, when was the last time you heard someone call me the Dark Elf Queen instead of just the Dark Queen or the Queen of Monsters? When was the last time you saw a dark elf in my army besides Chloe?" she shook her head, "No, going back is not an option. Not after so much work."

"Ooo… kay?" Maia and Knight looked at each other, finding comfort in the fact that neither of them understood Olga's words. Even Chloe seemed confused, "But… are you not even a little worried about Va- about Kuroinu attacking them? They are probably an easier target than Eostia."

Olga chuckled again, but this time, the mirth was obvious and genuine, "Believe me, if they march North, they will be doing us all a huge favor. The Anchor has some core rules that that little mage of theirs will not be able to change without destroying it. Rules such as that I am the only one that can control the monsters… or that if they try to go to the Dark Elves lands, the monsters will go crazy and kill each other."

That final sentence brought silence to the group until Maia finally processed the words, "What?"

"Yes, I would never allow those rapist monsters to attack my subjects, but in case something happened to me, I needed to be sure. So I made that little… insurance, a failsafe if you wish. Sadly, those dogs seem to be too well informed to commit such a mistake."

"Are you telling me…" Maia started, slowly, voice filled with disbelief, "That you made plans in case you died or something… but not in case someone attacked your tower? I mean… really?"

"Watch your tone, human." Olga replied with a cold voice, eyes a little narrowed, "This situation was completely tailored for my capture, from the timing of the attack to using Chloe against me."

Chloe blushed at that, but if it was due to shame of failing her queen or happiness for being so important to her, Knight could not say.

Not noticing this, Olga kept going, "They have planned everything. My surrender was just a way to gain some time while I kept ordering the monster in the forest to come and kill you all. And it would have worked… if not for this cursed seal, as it severed my connection with the Anchor." Olga finished while pulling a little from said seal around her neck.

Maia's hands twitched at the mention of monsters, distaste growing on her face, and Knight's fears about her emotional state returned with a vengeance, "So, basically the mighty Queen of Monsters is searching for excuses? That's just sad."

Chloe instantly stood up, ready to fight. Knight took a step forward as well, ready to stop her, but the other two did not seem to notice, too busy glaring at each other with growing animosity.

"Amusing, that you call them excuses now, when you were probably proud of your smart plan a couple hours ago. Furthermore, at least, they needed a complex plan and one-of-a-kind artifact to capture me. What did they need for you beyond a set of chains and some nice words?"

Maia clenched her fists, the jerky in her left hand cracking under the pressure, "I don't want to hear that from the idiot that never thought she could lose. We… They needed all that because you are an emotionless bitch, not caring about anyone but yourself… and Chloe, it seems." she whispered the last part, trailing off a little, but then shook her head, hate clear in her eyes again, "After all, these failsafes of yours only keep the monsters out of your lands but nothing else, right? What about the dark elves living in Eostia? You could have forbidden them to attack any dark elf, but you didn't care, did you? Such a heartless queen…"

"Do not speak about what you do not know. Do not dare to assume I do not care about my race." Olga seethed, finally some anger coloring her cold tone, "Those core rules have limits, and even if I could do what you propose, I would not have. If your side realized that no monster attacked the dark elves, they would have put them in front of every army… by force if needed."

Maia opened her mouth, ready to refute her, but then stopped, grimacing a little, "We wouldn't… Celestine wouldn't have allowed something like that."

Seeing the Princess Knight deflating, Olga took a big breath, regaining control and looking down, "Maybe. She is an idiot like that… but Celestine does not control every army against me, does she? Do not try to refute something you obviously know is true just for the sake of arguing."

And with that, both women remained in silence, looking down at the magical fire. Seeing this, Chloe glared one last time at Knight and Maia and then sat down again. The group resumed to eat in the tension-filled silence and Knight let out the smallest of sighs.

If this was how they would interact every time they tried to talk, this trip was going to be a long one… he really missed being able to warp between bonfires.

Knight had accepted a long night of uncomfortable silence, but Maia surprised him by taking a big breath and looking at Olga again.

"Let's… forget about all that for now. This isn't what I wanted to talk about with you anyway."

Olga raised a thin eyebrow at that, some tension from their last 'talk' still present. However, with nothing else to distract herself with, she finally sighed and nodded at Maia.

Knowing she would not get anything better, Maia started to talk, "I wanted to talk about Knight and about what you know about him. You already said something about Wanderers and another world or something like that, but I know you know more. And we have time to rest for a bit."

If not for the fact she was probably traumatized and he could not take his helmet off, Knight could kiss Maia right now. He had resigned himself to wait until he could talk to ask Olga more questions. A deeper explanation of what she knew was exactly what Knight wanted. Knowledge of his old world… hopefully one that would not trigger repressed memories.

Olga just studied Maia's face for a bit, maybe pondering how serious she was. Then looked at Chloe, who, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, seemed to be curious as well. The Dark Queen chuckled at that, making Chloe blush, but lost any mirth when she looked at Maia again, reluctant acceptance on her face, "I suppose a history lesson would be an acceptable way to fight the boredom."

She grabbed one of the sticks from the bonfire, the purple fire leaving just a faintly bright, violet ember on the end of the wood. With a twist of her wrist, Olga painted several lines of light in the air that remained for longer than what Knight expected. Wonders of magic, probably.

"Show off." Maia muttered under her breath, but loud enough that Olga looked at her.

"Silence and attention, if your kind is capable of such a thing." she said in a calm voice, focusing again on the light paintings. It reminded Knight of someone from his past… speaking and explaining something to him with an air of importance… and a hat… a big hat…

Big Hat Logan.

Knight suppressed a shudder as memories and information filled his mind. Freeing the man from a cell, talking, discussing, helping again with another cell and… killing him when he lost his mind in his research. It was sad, it was always sad when someone he knew lost his way and… went crazy… Why did he have the feeling it had happened more times?

That line of thought ended abruptly as whatever part of Knight's mind that tried to keep him from painful memories stopped his brain with the delicacy of a Taurus Demon… But probably for the best, especially considering how those dancing, violet lights were scratching the block of another of those memories…

At least now Knight was sure he could not perform magic. Logan had said that with an air of finality. A shame, really, now that he could remember the crystalized souls that Logan could use to blast Knight's limbs off from his body. It would have been a good tool to have.

Oblivious to all this happening inside his mind, Olga started again, "Ages ago, when gods roamed this world and elves were just one tribe, the Wanderers were, albeit rare, something that could be found from time to time. Accidents in the rules of creation, something that should not happen, and yet they arrived here, people and objects, always confused, always lost… and always from the same world."

As she narrated, Olga kept drawing figures, similar to the ones Knight had seen in the room below the barrier's core. Little ones with pointy ears for the elves, larger humanoid ones for the gods. And then encircling them all inside their world, arrows coming to it from outside, from another circle. Knight had to admit she was pretty good, even Maia seemed a bit captivated, though he knew she would never admit it.

"The Wanderers never stayed for long, as the gods made sure to return them to their world, living beings or otherwise. Those rational enough were grateful of this, of course, as world jumping was never a willing act… until the time it was." Olga paused and drew a new figure between the circles, a book on their hand, "We do not have records left of their name, race or sex, just a vague term in ancient elfic they used to refer to themselves. They called themselves Ephintos, crudely translated as 'First Scholar' or 'Sage of the Beginning'... truly a vainglorious name in my opinion."

Olga said the last part with a dismissive tone, ignoring Maia's raised eyebrow, "But the important part is that maybe they earned that title, because this Scholar forced the jump for the first time, and asked for an exchange of knowledge before being returned."

"So, a bookworm from another world jumped to ours to… what? Have a little chat?" Maia tried to joke, but it was obvious she was interested, obvious enough that Chloe did not even react at the jab, while Olga just ignored her and resumed.

"With these 'talks', as you call them, the first reliable information about the other world was finally known. Bits of their cultures, their developments, their gods and their history, all conserved in seven books written by the high priests and priestesses of every deity. And once it was over, Ephintos was returned to their world, marking the last time a Wanderer arrived at our world, willingly or otherwise."

Maia blinked, "Wait, just like that? Did this scholar do something to stop it?" she asked, full of curiosity and getting a closer look to the light drawings, seemingly having forgotten that she hated the dark elf. A bout of amnesia that apparently was infectious, as Olga did the same.

"It is hard to say, but why would they? Or how? Stopping something like this should be beyond mortal means, which brings me to my theory. After all, the few records we have of that time show that this was one of the last times the gods walked among us… maybe even the last."

"But that… are you saying the gods left this world and went to the other? That's crazy!"

"It would be hard to believe, would it not? It is impossible to know what really happened, but I do not think so, no. I believe the two events are connected somehow, but if they really left, some phenomena of this world could not happen, like the clerics' blessings, the oracles, or the reincarnation of the Goddess… of… Life…"

"Yeah, then Celestine wouldn't… be…"

Both trailed off, the mention of the Goddess Reborn finally reminding them how they were enemies and breaking the spell. The two separated a little, Maia looking like she had eaten something sour while Olga closed her eyes and took a big breath.

Knight ignored them, focused on the drawings as well. This scholar… it did not seem to evoke anything in him. Maybe he did not know anything about them, or maybe that title was too generic to create a flashback. Whichever the case, the part about the Wanderers was similar to his experience yet different. His jump had not been an accident nor his decision. Something had sent him here… or someone.

Once Maia and Olga were a little recovered from their awkward moment, she resumed, "Moving on. To answer your questions about your friend, in many of the fragments I have been able to find, there are mentions of Lordran, the First Kingdom. A place created and ruled by their Chief God himself. Lord Gwyn of the Sunlight. Home of gods and mortals… and giants, although there seems to be some mixed and contradictory information about them being big humanoids or some kind of tree spirits… Probably something lost in translation, I am afraid. But I am digressing."

Knight blinked. Tree spirits? He did not remember much, barely anything, but the image of a giant man yet not man, hunched over a little anvil as he worked the metal, was clear in his mind. Still, considering all the holes in his memories, there could be another race of tree people and he would not…

Wait, he had killed plant people. He remembered their strong whips and their ability to hide as bushes. Could that be? But they were not exactly big…

While Knight was busy pondering, Maia nodded to Olga, "Yes, you said something about Lordran and Gwyn before. So… is Knight one of his… knights?" she chuckled.

"Not quite." She dispersed the old draws and started again. This time, there were rectangles together, as a city, a big humanoid figure over it inside a… was that a sun? And finally, three figures under the city… with horns. And swords, "There was very little information about his world cosmogony in the fragments I could read, but I know Lord Gwyn fought against something to create what they called the Age of Fire. And even if other gods helped him, his army was made almost entirely by Silver Knights."

With that, Olga looked at Knight with a meaningful glance, forcing Maia to look between them, connecting the dots. But he was too busy to really notice this, deep inside his mind as hundreds of memories flashed his mind, of warriors in silver armor trying to kill Knight in every way possible… and succeeding, especially those archers. But no, his armor was not from silver, was not from one of the warriors protecting the City of Gods.

Maia shared his thoughts, as she shook her head, "I am afraid Knight here wouldn't be described as 'silver' even by a blind person. Don't think he was one of those."

Olga slowly nodded, not moving her eyes from Knight, "You would be right in that affirmation. But not all Silver Knights remained like this." with a quick movement of her wrist, she dispersed the light lines and started again, this time drawing a monster, something big, with several arms, legs, and even heads. Surrounded by what seemed to be fire. What the…

"This world suffered some kind of cataclysm, one that gave birth to what they call demons, but different to the ones we know. They were horrific creatures, antithesis of the Gods, born from lava and Chaos. Lord Gwyn himself fought against them, containing them in the city from where they came. And the Silver Warriors that helped him this time… They were changed."

This time, Olga did not draw again, just pointing the stick directly at Knight, while his vision was filled with images of a ruinous city, surrounded by lava and demons. Lost Izalith, one name that made his whole body shiver with memories of pain and death. Of tortuous melted stone that had burned the flesh from his bones more than once. Of heavy weapons wielded by chaotic horrors… And a path. A stone path. A bridge over the lava, protected by a demon made of titanite. And then… then…

~ I AM THE SUN! ~

Swords, shields, armors, miracles… and the Bug. That wretched thing. Abominable. Cursed. Damned. It was its fault! All of it! Its fault! All its fault! All its fault! All its fault!

All his fault.

Block. Riposte. Thrust. Blood. Silence.

~ My sun… it's setting… ~

Cough. More blood. Silence. Silence. Silence. Tears.

~ …it's dark, so dark… ~

I am so sorry… Solaire.

For the first time ever, a memory made Knight lose his balance, grabbing his helmet with one hand and the other pressed against the nearest tree as support. His brain pulsed, his heart beated. And his soul hurted. The block in his memories still there, not letting him remember the circumstances or the fight, but not completely. Knight could feel the betrayal, the fear, and the guilt. All of it. All of it for the time he had been forced to kill the person he had called friend.

"Knight! What's wrong!?" in an instant, Maia was at his side, worry evident in her face, until some fury filled her eyes and she looked at the dark elves, "What have you done to him!"

"Nothing at all, you dramatic girl." Olga sighed, letting the light drawings disappear and returning the stick to the bonfire, "In my opinion, the memories of his fights against those demons was enough to affect him. The legends told the enemies were so powerful, so abnormal, that the Silver Knights were forced to become monsters too. Carrying the burns of lava and Chaos on their charcoal like armors. The birth of the Black Knights."

Maia scoffed, "He is not a monster. The bastards that created those knights surely changed something for fighting against those things. Nothing more, nothing else. He is no more a monster than you are, Dark Queen."

Maia was angry on his behalf. Not a new thing, quite the contrary, and that familiarity was enough to let Knight breathe again, the painful pulses of his brain receding. She was his friend. And he would protect her. No matter what. He would not fail.

… not like last time.

Ignorant to his thoughts, Olga and Maia kept glaring at each other, the tension growing as Chloe slowly started to stand again. And then Olga suddenly turned serious, contemplative, and studied him until it started to feel like he was being dissected by her eyes, before saying something that brought absolute silence to their little camp.

"Tell me, Maia. Why do you, -and everyone around you it seems-, thinks he is just a golem?"