Author's notes – Tomorrow is my last day of school. Scary! Graduation is only two days away. Anyways, I hope you all like the latest installment. This was probably the easiest to write (besides the first chapter) because of the fact that literally every single episode in this set is a filler not even presented in the manga. You can tell that the producers were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. Enjoy!
Rated – R for a bit of swearing and the presence of raw livers and unmentionables
By – Merc
InuYasha – The Condensed Commentary Version
Author – When we last left off, InuYasha was being harassed by a bunch of baby monkeys and a random old lady pointed out that Sango loved Miroku. An observation which had been made by the viewers of the show about forty episodes back.
Kagome – ACHOO!!!
Sango – You're sick.
Kagome – No I'm not. ACHOO!!!
Shippou – You should go back to your time and rest.
Kagome – But the shards…
InuYasha – Damn straight! We don't have time for you to be sick. Get well…now!
Miroku – I don't think it works that way InuYasha.
Kagome – I think I'm gonna hurl…
InuYasha – Damn you weak woman and your weak sickness. GET OVER IT!!!
*Kagome blows off InuYasha and goes back home.*
InuYasha – Ack! Lost traveling time! Lost traveling time! Get back here you wench!
*Goes in after her.*
Miroku – So what are we supposed to do until he comes back?
Sango – Anyone up for a game of Go Fish?
*Meanwhile back in Kagome's time.*
Kagome – Sickness…dying…
InuYasha – Bah! You're perfectly healthy!
Souta – You're not helping.
Kagome – Tunnel…light…
Souta – Stay away from the light Kagome!
Kagome - …
InuYasha – Fine!
*Wanders off, only to return a few hours later with some supplies.*
InuYasha – I need to use your wooden oven.
Kagome's Mom – Will an electric stove work?
*InuYasha somehow manages to figure out how to use an electric stove and makes Kagome something very green and very nasty-smelling.*
Souta – What's in that?
InuYasha – Livers and other unmentionables.
Souta - *Turns green*
InuYasha – Drink this, it'll make you better. Mommy used to make this for me. She cooked everything, hope you don't mind that I made it raw.
Kagome – Raw what?
Souta – Don't answer that InuYasha.
Kagome - *Drinks* This tastes like crap.
InuYasha – Screw you, that's the last time I ever do anything nice.
Kagome – Hey wow! Despite the ensuing Mad Cow Disease and E-Coli, I feel quite healthy!
Souta – Wow, only thirty-seconds, a new healing record.
*A couple of pointless episodes happen, one of which involves Souta having a crush on a girl despite the fact that in the 3rd grade, girls (and boys) have cooties.*
Souta – I love you.
Kagome – Isn't he a little young to be saying that?
Young Girl – I love you too.
InuYasha – Man, what's with people and using the word "love" so much? Love…blech!
Kagome - *Stares at InuYasha*
InuYasha - *Stares at Kagome*
InuYasha and Kagome - *BLUSH*
Audience – JUST KISS ALREADY, SHEESH!!!
*InuYasha and Kagome turn away*
Audience – Damn.
*An episode involving Kirara happens. Then another episode involving mostly Kikyou happens. Since everyone hates Kikyou and nothing happens in it anyways, we'll just skip over that one.*
Kikyou – Hey!
*Another episode involving Miroku being bound and gagged many times by a bunch of villages happens.*
Miroku – What'd I do?
Village Men - You hit on our girls you dumbass!
Village Women - *SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON*
*Miroku gets beaten up.*
Miroku – A little help Sango?
Sango – Eat garbage and die, Houshi-sama.
Miroku – I love you too.
*A bunch of filler episodes involving more background information on the Shikon no Tama, Jaken getting his ass kicked by Naraku's bees, and Sango thinking Kirara was killed happens.*
Sango – My poor little kitty…
Shippou – All of you are horrible, horrible people! You treated Kirara like crap!
InuYasha – Prove it.
*Shippou proves it.*
Kagome – Well when you put it THAT way…
Sango – I feel so bad. I used to roll over her when I was sleeping. I'm such a horrible person!
Shippou – Damn straight you horrible, horrible girl.
Audience – Compared to how the rest of the cast treated Kirara, Sango looks like a nun surrounded by a bunch of rapist puppy-killers.
*Sango sobs uncontrollably.*
Sango - *Sob* It's all because of me that *sob* she ran *sniffle* away *cry*.
InuYasha – Boy do I feel like crap.
Miroku – I made Sango cry. *Feels bad.*
Shippou – You SHOULD feel bad!
InuYasha – Now wait just a tick…
*Shippou is proven to be just as big of a jerk to Kirara as the rest of the group, save Sango.*
Sango – Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Kagome – Jeez, any more revelations and Sango just might commit suicide.
*Kirara comes back*
Sango – Kirara! You're alive! I'm so sorry! I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!
*Kirara licks Sango and smiles.*
Audience – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
*Later on InuYasha and Kagome have a fight. Kagome gets pissed and storms off.*
InuYasha – She'll come back. They always do.
Miroku – Whatever fries your chicken InuYasha.
InuYasha – Just you watch, she'll come crawling back. Aaaaaaaaany minute now…
Sango – Oy, men…
Miroku - *Grope*
Sango - *Smack*
*Kagome gets sucked into a weird vacuume-type cave where she meets Kikyou.*
Audience – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kikyou – Yessssssssss! Screen time baby!
Kagome – Not you again!
Kikyou – We're all gonna die.
Kagome – You would say that, wouldn't you?
Kikyou – The end is near!
Kagome – Uh-huh…
Kikyou – The sky is falling!
Kagome – Okay then.
– This cave eats mikos.
Kagome – Come again?
Kikyou – D00d, this c4ve h4s l33t 34ting sk1llz.
Kagome – So this cave eats mikos.
Kikyou – Yup.
Kagome – Only mikos?
Kikyou – Yup.
Kagome – How convenient, a cave that eats only mikos.
Audience – How convenient, a very stupid and nonsensical story arc.
Rumiko Takahashi – Let the records show that I did not come up with this episode!
Kagome – Well then, shall I proceed in saving your ass repeatedly while you act like a frigid bitch the entire time?
Kikyou – Sounds good to me.
Kagome – I hate you.
Kikyou – Feeling's mutual.
*Kagome and Kikyou become temporary allies just long enough to defeat the cave. That's right, they defeat a miko-eating rock together.*
Kagome – I'm alive!
Audience – Yay!
Kikyou – So am I!
Audience – Boo!
Kagome – Well I'm glad we made it.
Kikyou – Me too. So fuck you and I hope you die a thousand horrible deaths.
Kagome – Didn't I just save your ass multiple times?
Kikyou – Like I care? Screw off dirtbag.
Kagome – Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
*In another part of the woods, Kouga and Sesshomaru run into each other.*
Kouga – S'up?
Sesshomaru – Nuthin' much homie.
*Everyone is wandering through a random forest when they come across Gatenmaru's older brother. Gatenmaru, for those of you who don't remember, was a freaky moth dude that InuYasha fought awhile ago.*
Gatenmaru's Older Brother – Bwahaha! You may have defeated my younger brother, but you will never defeat me!
*Wraps everyone in a cocoon where they see their worst nightmares.*
Sango – Aw come ON! How many times do I have to re-live being nearly killed by my younger brother?
Producers – As many times as we deem necessary.
Sango – You know, most people would have committed suicide by now from this kind of abuse.
Producers – Ah the wonders of medieval Prozac.
Miroku – My Kazaana's gone out of control again. Crap.
Shippou – I get to re-live the day my dad was killed and skinned. Yippie.
Kagome – What's Naraku doing in my time? Oh well, at least he could get rid of Hojo for me while he's at it.
*InuYasha defeats Gatenmaru's Older Brother in about five minutes and spends the rest of the episode clawing away at the cocoons that everybody's trapped inside.*
InuYasha – Don't die! Come on Kagome! Tell me to sit!
*They eventually get out thanks to the multiple dream-like versions of InuYasha saving them.*
Kagome – Thanks.
InuYasha – That's not what I wanted to hear.
Kagome – Osuwari.
InuYasha - *BAM!!!* That's better.
*In the next episode, Miroku is telling Sango how he met a totally hot chick in the mountains when he was 13.*
Miroku – So anyways, I met this totally hot chick in the mountains when I was 13 and…
Sango - *Smack*
Miroku – What'd you do that for?
Sango – Mosquito.
*As luck and the Laws of Animé™ have it, Miroku eventually runs into the hot chick in the mountains.*
Hot Chick in the Mountains – Hi Miroku.
Sango – Go away you evil snow-white slut!
* Hot Chick in the Mountains takes Miroku to her home where she presents him with enough kids to last his family's bloodline for the next millennia.*
Miroku – These are all mine?
Hot Chick in the Mountains – What, you mean you don't remember those many exhausting nights we spent together?
Audience – Is it just us or do a lot of these kids look too close to the same age to all be his?
Miroku – Man oh man, you must've given birth to octuplets every time you got pregnant. SHEESH!!!
*Miroku proceeds to help her take care of them all.*
Sango - Hot Chick in the Mountains is apparently the real deal. And get this, he has KIDS!
Kagome – He must've hit puberty really early for that to have happened.
InuYasha – Well he's about that age. He's probably trying to settle down now.
Sango – InuYasha?
InuYasha – Yeah?
Sango – You're not helping.
*Everyone watches in amusement as Miroku cradles a snowman. Apparently Hot Chick in the Mountains was actually a youkai trying to kill Miroku.*
Hot Chick in the Mountains – So you found out my evil plot.
Sango – Love always prevails! Er, I mean, you dirty whore, get off of him!
Miroku – Oh goody, two hot chicks fighting over me! I'll get the mud-tub, while the two of you slip into bikinis.
Sango – Remind me why I love you again?
Miroku – Well, in accordance with the Laws of Animé™, since I'm the only other guy in the group besides Shippou, you have to fall for me.
Sango – Oh yeah.
*They defeat Hot Chick in the Mountains.*
Sango – Guess you don't have kids then, Houshi-sama.
Miroku – Maybe not now but *nudge*
Sango - *Smack*
Miroku – Hey!
Sango – Mosquito.
End of Commentaries for episodes 89 – 101
Whew, I actually managed to cover some ground with this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Now for the obligatory author pleading. PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! If you have any love and mercy in your soul, you'll review.