A BtVs / Angel / Harry Potter / Sopranos / Highlander crossover. Minor spoilers up to season 7 of Buffy. Set after Season 7 BtVS, after Season 4 Angel, after Harry Potter graduates, and nowhere in particular in Sopranos / Highlander continuity.

All characters belong to their respective creators / film companies / etc. and are used without permission. This story may only be distributed on a non-profit-making basis.

Work in Progress. If you like this story, check out my other stories on the Fanfiction Net, Twisting the Hellmouth, and Fonts of Wisdom websites.

I'm British, so's my spelling. Live with it.

Bring Me The Head Of Harry Potter

by Marcus L. Rowland


Tony Soprano liked his new London bank. In barely an hour they'd converted his dollars into untraceable gold, and assured him that he could get it from their vaults without notice, and get to the bank itself by portkey at any time, day or night. So most of the bankers weren't exactly human - hell, you could say that about most of the people he did business with. Once he was over the idea that the whole thing was a Prozac-induced hallucination he liked it so much that he was wondering when the other shoe would drop.

"There is just one other matter," said the young executive who was handling his account, handing over the vault key. "Nothing to do with your finances, which are entirely separate. You'll understand that we normally avoid doing business with the mugg... mundane world, and in fact do our best to stay separate. However, recently the board has decided to broaden our scope and foster links with organisations such as yours."

"The garbage disposal industry?"

"In a manner of speaking. The families who own this bank have difficulty moving in the outside world. A matter has come up... someone who is going to give everyone a lot of trouble if he isn't taken out of the picture. They want to employ some contractors."

"And you would want these contractors to do what, exactly?"

"Arrange an accident."

"How accidental an accident are we talking about here?"

"Anything goes, provided it has no apparent connection to the wizarding world and eliminates our problem. Permanently. Something like a hit and run, or a fatal robbery, for example."

"What's the catch?"

"The target is a wizard. Still a student, but already moderately powerful. He is well-protected against magical attacks, but we're hoping that a sudden non-magical incident might prove effective. Of course your representatives would have to be careful not to give him time to use magical protection, but we don't think he'll be expecting trouble."

"So why me? There are contractors in Britain, I can point you at people."

"The person in question will be visiting the United States for several weeks this summer, and it would be.. convenient if his accident takes place well away from these shores."

"It'll cost you. Unless he'll be in New York I'll have to do business with the local organisations, they'll want a cut."

"Not a problem, mister Soprano. We have a very high budget for this operation."

"Okay. Give me the name, as much information on him as you have, and the address where he'll be staying. I'll see what I can do and quote you a price."

"His name is Potter, Harry Potter. Here's the file. He'll be visiting Los Angeles, California, this summer. Again, the details are in the file. If you have any additional questions we can be contacted via our legal representatives, Wolfram and Hart. I think that they have offices in New York and Los Angeles."

"Okay, that'd probably have to be arranged through the Los Angeles mobs. No promises but I'll look into it. Pleasure doing business with you, mister Weasley."

"Call me Charlie."