Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to and was created by Takaya Natsuki, and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day belongs to and was created by Judith Viorst. I am not making any money from this work of fanfiction.

Warnings: None, really. The PG rating is only for one comment near the end.

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Kyou and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
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I went to sleep with my window open and when I woke up there were cats in my bed and when I got out of bed I tripped on them and when I was brushing my teeth Tohru bumped into me and I fell into the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast Tohru found a fuzzy mouse toy in her breakfast cereal box and Yuki found a letter from his fan club in his breakfast cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal.

I wish I was a real Sohma.

On the way to school Kagura found me. She let Yuki and Tohru go, but not me. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said, Get her away from me before she breaks my arm. No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At school, Ms. Mayuko liked Yuki's essay about The Tale of Genji better than my essay about Musashi.

When I read out loud she said my voice was too loud. In math she said I missed problem thirteen. Who needs thirteen? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because Yuki beat me at cards again. Yuki was first best and Uotani was second best and I was only third best.

I hope your garden dies, I said to Yuki. I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice-cream part falls off the cone part and lands on Akito.

There were two personalities in Haru's head and White Haru gave Yuki a daisy chain with pink and white daisies and he gave Tohru a pencil with cats and mice on it. Guess who got to deal with Black Haru?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because after school Shigure took us all to Hatori and Hatori said it was only time for my flu shots. Come back next week and I'll give them to you, said Hatori.

Next week, I said, I'll be a real Sohma.

Hatori said we couldn't play with his copying machine, but Momiji forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as I could be except Haru punched me into some. He also said don't fool with his phone, but I think Tohru called Akito. Hatori said we shouldn't visit him for a while.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

On the way out Momiji closed a door on my foot and while we were waiting for Shigure to stop talking with Hatori Tohru made me fall where it was muddy and when I yelled at her for making me fall Yuki said I was a stupid cat and when I was punching Yuki for saying stupid cat Shigure came back and made fun of me for being muddy and fighting.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

So then we went to Ayame's store to buy some clothes. Yuki chose a white shirt with gray stripes. Tohru chose a yellow dress with white stripes. I chose a black shirt with no stripes, but Ayame said, That just won't do. He made me choose a light blue shirt with frills, but he can't make me wear it.

There were leeks for dinner and I hate leeks.

There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing.

Yuki fought me again, we broke another door, Shigure yelled at me, and I had to wear my kitty-cat pajamas. I hate my kitty-cat pajamas.

When I went to bed Ayame was there and he whined when I threw him out and he took my pillow with him.

Tohru wants to sleep with Yuki, not with me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Shigure says some days are like that.

Even if you're a real Sohma.

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Thanks to Hyacynth for looking this over for me. Obviously, this is a direct parody of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I had to change some parts around, as I used Hatori for two of the roles in the original book (the dentist and the father) but it hopefully turned out OK anyway.